how do you give a toast speech

How to Give a Toast: A Guide for Memorable Speeches

• The Speaker Lab
• January 12, 2024

Table of Contents

Ever been at a party or event, glass in hand, when suddenly you’re asked to say a few words? The room goes silent. All eyes are on you. It’s your moment and…panic sets in. How exactly are you supposed to give a toast?

Fear not! Giving a memorable toast is an art that can be mastered by anyone. Think of it as sharing a piece of wisdom wrapped up with a little wit and warmth. To master this art, we’ve got the scoop for you—whether it’s understanding the essence of a good toast, learning common etiquette rules, or avoiding classic mistakes, we’ve got it all. And don’t worry—we’ll throw in some sparkling examples to inspire your own memorable moments.

Ready? Let’s delve into this guide and make sure next time those spotlight moments aren’t panic-stricken but applause-driven!

The Purpose of Toasts

Before actually delving into how to give a toast, it’s important to understand why you’re giving a toast in the first place.

Toasts can be used in multiple settings. They celebrate special occasions like weddings or anniversaries, they honor individuals on their birthdays or retirement parties, and they provide a platform to express gratitude during holiday gatherings.

In its simplest form, a toast can be seen as an act of storytelling with three main parts: introduction (setting up the context), body (the story itself), and conclusion (where we lift our glasses).

The story told through a toast should create emotional resonance while also sharing insights into the person or event being toasted. Essentially, the aim of a toast is to unite everyone present in celebrating shared values or accomplishments.

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Essential Elements of a Good Toast

To give a toast that leaves an impression, you need to master certain key elements. These include sincerity, brevity, humor, and timing.

A good toast comes from the heart. It’s not about using big words or complex sentences but conveying genuine emotions and sentiments. If you can share personal anecdotes or experiences related to the occasion or person being toasted, you’ll make your words that much more meaningful.

A memorable toast is concise. Aim for two minutes max—this isn’t your chance to tell every story about your friendship with the bride since kindergarten. When giving a toast, stay succinct for the most impact.

Injecting some well-placed humor into your speech can lighten up any occasion—but remember to keep it tasteful.

Pick the right moment for your tribute—it shouldn’t interrupt dinner or come too late in the evening when guests might be ready to leave.

Crafting Your Memorable Toast

Brainstorming is the first step in crafting your toast. To start, simply let your ideas flow without worrying about structure or editing. Don’t worry about editing or structure yet, just get all your ideas down on paper. If you need inspiration, consider personal stories, quotes you love, or keynotes speeches.

Once you have all your ideas down, it’s time to start sculpting them into a well-rounded toast. Start by picking out the most powerful points from your brainstorm session. Then create an outline with these points as your guideposts.

Next, rehearse. Rehearse your lines until they feel natural—this will help you give your toast confidently without stumbling over words. Don’t overdo it, though, that way you keep some spontaneity in your toast.

As you write your toast, make sure you adapt it both to the audience and the occasion. Wedding toasts, for example, should be written with the wedding party and other guests in mind. What kind of jokes or humor will they appreciate? Are you best friends with the bride and groom or more of a casual acquaintance? Make sure you think through these things as you craft your toast.

Delivering Your Toast

Your body speaks volumes even before you start your toast. Stand tall, shoulders back, and make sure to keep eye contact with the audience. This not only conveys confidence but also helps engage listeners.

Controlling Voice Modulation

Varying pitch and volume can bring life to your speech. But don’t overdo it. Use these tools wisely to emphasize key points or evoke emotion without becoming theatrical.

Harvard Business Review offers some great tips on voice control for speakers.

Maintaining Audience Engagement

Remember, delivering a toast is an interactive experience. You’re not just talking at people but connecting with them emotionally. To maintain an emotional connection, take pauses for dramatic effect or laughs. After all, pauses are part of the rhythm of public speaking.

If space allows, feel free to roam around since movement can add dynamism to your toast.

Lastly, enjoy yourself. A happy speaker often leads to a captivated audience.

Common Toasting Etiquette

Toasts can make or break a celebration. Knowing the etiquette rules will help you give an unforgettable toast.

First, remember to keep it brief. A long-winded speech might lose your audience’s interest.

Second, avoid embarrassing stories or inside jokes that not everyone gets. While they may seem hilarious to you, you’ll lose your audience if only half of the room understands (or appreciates) your references. Instead, aim for universal themes like love or friendship—something that will resonate with all attendees.

Third, keep things positive. After all, a toast is about honoring someone, so stick to compliments and kind words.

Last, be mindful of timing. Don’t start your toast too early or late in the event—and don’t forget to end by inviting others to raise their glasses and join in on your sentiment.

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An Example of a Successful Toast

Before actually delivering your toast, it may help to consider an example. Let’s check out one memorable toast that has resonated with crowds in the past.

This example is from an Oscar acceptance speech by Matthew McConaughey . At the beginning of his speech, McConaughey stayed positive, recognizing the talent of the other nominees for best actor and expressing gratitude for those who helped him along his journey. He wasn’t even afraid to use a little humor to get his audience laughing.

Then, he settled into the meat of his toast by talking about how he considered his future self to be his hero, the person he wanted to be. In this way, McConaughey connected with his audience over the universal theme of always striving to be better.

Remember: you don’t need fame or high stakes situations to give an impactful toast. What matters is authenticity and connection with your listeners.

Mistakes to Avoid When Giving a Toast

People presenting a toast should be aware of who they are addressing; failing to do so is one of the most common errors. It’s essential to tailor your words and tone for the crowd you’re speaking to.

In addition, avoid rambling on without structure or point. Keep it concise, focused, and relevant. Crafting a speech with purpose can help in this regard.

Another common mistake is forgetting about timing. Good speakers know that timing isn’t just about how long they speak but also when they pause for effect or humor.

Lack of Preparation

Neglecting preparation is another pitfall some fall into. Make sure you rehearse enough times so that nerves don’t get the better of you during your moment under the spotlight. Toastmasters offers great tips for dealing with stage fright.

Inappropriate Content

Last but not least, inappropriate content has no place in any toast. Jokes at someone else’s expense might get laughs from some, but they will more likely leave others feeling uncomfortable—let’s keep things classy.

How to Give a Toast FAQs

What do you say when you give a toast.

When giving a toast, share an uplifting message or story about the person or event being celebrated. Keep it heartfelt and brief.

How do you give someone a toast?

To deliver a toast, stand up, raise your glass, capture attention with engaging words, then finish by leading everyone in raising their glasses too.

What is the proper way to toast?

The right way to make a toast involves speaking clearly and sincerely. Always respect your audience’s time by keeping it short and sweet.

How do you start a toast speech example?

One simple way to start a toast: “Dear friends and family of [Name], let’s raise our glasses in tribute to this extraordinary moment…”

Mastering how to give a toast isn’t as hard as it seems, right? Not only have you learned the purpose of giving a toast, you’ve grasped essential elements like brainstorming and rehearsing. Of course, delivery matters too. The way you use body language and voice modulation can make or break your moment in the spotlight.

To ensure smooth sailing during your toast, we walked through common etiquette rules and even gave you a successful example to consider—plus a few mistakes you’ll want to avoid.

Last but not least, breathe easy—you have everything you need to give that perfect toast!

• Last Updated: February 29, 2024

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This acronym will help you give the perfect toast

Lauren Migaki

Clare Marie Schneider

It's the wild card of every big event — the toast.

It could be the drunk groomsman at a wedding or the rambling colleague at the retirement party or, perhaps, it's the friend who brings up politics or religion when they've been explicitly asked not to.

For stand-up comedian Atsuko Okatsuka , it was her father-in-law at her wedding. "And then he suddenly goes, I see there's a big Asian contingency here." The moment he brought up race, everyone went quiet.

"It's like a kid when they're playing I Spy, you know?" she says. "That's what he did. 'I spy Asians'."

"Then he tried to save himself. He went, 'and I love the Asians!'"

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This story comes from Life Kit , NPR's podcast to help make life better — covering everything from exercise to raising kids to making friends. For more, sign up for the newsletter and follow @NPRLifeKit on Twitter .

It's a memorable toast – but maybe not in the way Okatsuka had hoped.

If you've been asked, or volunteered yourself, to give a toast, we've got some handy tips to make sure people remember your speech with fondness – not horror.

Start with T-O-A-S-T, a helpful acronym from author and award-winning speaker Ramona J. Smith , plus a couple of helpful additions:

T — Tell a story

There's a simple formula to a good toast: Introduce yourself, tell a story, connect that story to the event and wrap it up (time to hit the dance floor!) The biggest challenge is choosing the right story for the occasion and audience.

Every family has stories to tell. Here's how to document yours

Journalist Clare Roth , who has been to 36 weddings, says recording memories on voice memos was particularly helpful. For the occasion, she landed on this sweet and short story:

"There's an anecdote in my mother's diary from when I was three months old, where she heard my sister shout, 'I can't carry you anymore, baby!' And she came out and she was holding me by my skull and I had twigs and leaves in my hair because apparently she had dropped me a few times already. ... It's just so demonstrative of how she will charge ahead, but she wants you to be right there with her. ... And that's why she's going to be such an amazing wife."

Roth says this anecdote worked for the occasion, because it was not only "demonstrative of the relationship that my sister and I had but also related to how she would be as a partner."

Once you share an intimate but relatable anecdote, you can close with a lighthearted joke or offer your best wishes.

O — Optimism is key

How to tell a captivating story — from a wedding toast to a job interview

"Don't give a sad story and leave everyone crying, especially if it's at a beautiful wedding or at a baby shower or somewhere where the mood is already festive," says Smith.

Smith is the 2018 winner of the Toastmasters World Championship of Public Speaking. The opening of her award-winning speech was bleak — it highlighted her personal and professional failures. But with humor and optimism, she continued discussing how those experiences have failed to knock her down – by the end of her speech, the audience was singing along with her to Elton John's I'm Still Standing.

Smith compares her craft of speech writing to spicy chicken wings – "Just dip [the audience] in the hot sauce for a little bit and then we gonna cool off with the ranch."

A — Authenticity and vulnerability are better than humor

Dan Perlman is a stand-up comedian, but when it comes to making toasts, " the more successful toasts I've given have been ones where I was vulnerable," he says.

When he spoke at his childhood friend's wedding this summer, he shared an anecdote about them playing basketball and growing up together. Perlman did manage to find an opportunity for some subtle teasing — but remember, it's a toast, not a roast!

S — Speeches require practice

Try reading your speech aloud before you give it live. Even consider sharing it with a trusted friend or family member to look it over.

If you have stage fright, standup comedian Okatsuka has a tip for that: tell yourself that you aren't nervous but rather, too excited. " So instead of shaking from the nerves or feeling a pit in your stomach from the nerves, it turns into butterflies from excitement," she says.

Want To Listen Better? Turn Down Your Thoughts And Tune In To Others

While you're delivering your speech, find an audience wingperson. "Focus on people in the audience who are paying attention and are giving good energy," says Perlman.

You could even ask a friend ahead of time to be this person for you!

And if you get thrown off track while speaking, don't forget: "You're allowed to stop and think. You're allowed to pause and breathe," says Ana Silva.

Silva, who teaches and performs improv, also points out that there are certain elements you cannot control when giving a toast. Just as stand-up comedy has hecklers, wedding toasts have drunk audiences.

"If it's something that is disrespectful in a rude way, I think shutting it down immediately is fantastic," she says. "If it's someone who's just really excited and wants to be part of it. I think a light touch is fine. ... 'I'm so glad cousin Susie is in on this. Let me keep going, Susie.'"

Silva also says that if you're in the audience, you have a role to play as well. " It's all about supporting the people around you." Remember to be generous with your attention, laughter, and applause.

T — Timing. Shorter is better

"I've never been annoyed that a toast is too short," says Perlman, who recommends keeping it between 90 seconds to two minutes.

Wedding enthusiast Roth suggests a range of two to three minutes. "No one is going to get angry about being able to drink their champagne sooner, " she says.

Point is, we all have short attention spans. When you practice reading your speech aloud, make sure that you time yourself.

Never drink before a toast

You don't have to drink to celebrate the holiday season

6 Ways To Take A Break From Drinking

If there is one guaranteed way to ensure that you do not bomb this toast, it's this piece of wisdom from Smith: "Never drink alcohol before you give a speech," she says. "You don't want to slur. You don't want to come off as sloppy."

Drinking can also make you prone to rambling on too long, or throwing in an inappropriate, unnecessary joke, so it's best to avoid it altogether.

Don't wait for the perfect occasion

Toasts are a way to tell people you love them. And Roth says, we don't do that enough. "More toasts please!" she says. "It is wonderful to say the quiet part out loud, when the quiet part is... the love you have for your friends and family. Let's bring toasts back in fashion."

The podcast portion of this story was produced by Clare Marie Schneider. We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at [email protected].

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How to Give a Toast

Last Updated: April 4, 2021 References

This article was co-authored by Deb DiSandro . Deb DiSandro is the Owner of Speak Up On Purpose, an organization dedicated to improving and teaching public speaking. Deb has over 30 years of experience as a national speaker and has presented at the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Conference and the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. She was awarded the National Speakers Association Member of the Year 2007 and has been published in Writer's Digest, Daily Herald, Women's Day, and Better Homes & Gardens. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 163,297 times.

A “toast” is a short speech given in honor of a particular person, group of people, or event. Toasts emphasize the positive and provide another way for everyone to celebrate. To give a great toast spend some time getting to know the subject or person you’re toasting. Your toast should revolve around a central story that is very relatable and appropriate. Conclude by raising your glass and offering your best wishes and thanks to everyone involved.

Getting All of the Details

• You can also express your reservations to the toastee if you would like to participate but are too nervous to do so. Just because you are asked to give a toast does not mean you have to, especially if you suffer from social anxiety. [1] X Research source

• Rehearsal dinner toasts are usually informal with the hosts generally addressing everyone followed by anyone else who wishes to jump in. At a wedding, the best man and maid of honor offer the first toasts followed by the bride and groom. The parents then have a chance followed by any of the guests. [2] X Research source
• At a casual dinner party it is best to wait until the dinner or first course plates are collected before you offer a toast. [3] X Research source

• If you are really worried, run your toast by the bride or groom to gauge their reaction and ask for feedback.
• It is hard to establish a clear line for lewd humor, but most people find discussing sex or the wedding night to be in poor taste. [6] X Research source

Avoiding Common Mistakes

• Practicing will also help you to learn to moderate the volume of your voice. Nothing is worse than a mumbled or inaudible toast. [9] X Research source

• If necessary, you can use note cards while giving the toast. Remember to look up and make eye contact with the audience, though!

• Instead of saying, “I don’t know Jerry very well, but here goes nothing,” you might try, “Those times when Jerry and I can hang out are action-packed and adventure-filled.”

• However, it is acceptable to share an inside story, as long as it portrays the person you are toasting in a positive way. Just be sure to explain enough so that everyone understands the joke.

Creating Your Toast

• The old practice of tapping your glass with a knife has now gone by the wayside. A series of glass-tapping toasts can quickly get annoying at a big event. Instead, get attention with a confident voice and consistent eye contact. [15] X Research source Use a microphone, if one is available.

• Make your first few lines about the toastee, not you. Avoid using, “I” or “me/my,” to keep your focus, and that of your audience, on the person or persons of the hour. [17] X Research source

• You might say, "I'm the groom's brother and football-watching buddy."

• For example, you might tell the story about the time that you and your brother (the groom) backpacked through Europe.
• Or, share a story about the person you are toasting and other family members or friends that are in attendance to keep the focus off of yourself.

• Leave out all mentions of exes, especially in a wedding toast. No one wants to listen to a story about a prior relationship when they are trying to celebrate a new one. [22] X Research source
• Omit all negative jokes or jabs about the state of marriage. These remarks are generally cliché and bring the mood of the party down as well. [23] X Research source

• A solid concluding line for a wedding toast is always, ““Ladies and gentlemen, to the couple.” [27] X Research source

Expert Q&A

• A toast doesn’t have to be limited to just one person. For example, if an entire group worked on a particular project, feel free to toast the team as a whole. [28] X Research source Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• You can hold your glass up at chest height throughout your toast or simply lift it at the end. You can also fill your glass with any beverage that you like, it doesn’t have to be champagne or even alcohol. [29] X Research source Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2015/10/28/5-tips-for-giving-a-wedding-toast-skip-the-inside-jokes-and-no-roasting/
• ↑ http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/225978/reception-toasts
• ↑ http://www.chatelaine.com/living/eight-tips-for-making-a-memorable-toast/
• ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/askmen/giving-a-quality-wedding-_b_5266891.html
• ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/17/fashion/the-art-of-the-wedding-toast.html
• ↑ http://www.fluentin3months.com/cheers/
• ↑ http://jezebel.com/5836624/how-to-give-a-great-wedding-toast
• ↑ http://www.reuters.com/article/us-etiquette-toasting-idUSBRE89L0N320121022
• ↑ https://www.themuse.com/advice/holiday-cheers-how-to-give-the-perfect-toast
• ↑ http://www.esquire.com/food-drink/drinks/a12416/how-to-give-a-toast-0212/
• ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vanessa-van-edwards/how-to-give-and-awesome-t_b_8105666.html
• ↑ http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2015/09/how-to-give-an-awesome-toast/
• ↑ http://www.cookinglight.com/entertaining/holidays-occasions/how-to-give-toast
• ↑ https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/220682

About this article

To give a toast, start by standing up, introducing yourself, and explaining your relationship with the toastee. Then, share a brief story or 2 about you and the toastee and let them know how happy you are for them. Avoid any embarrassing or lewd comments, and try to keep your toast light-hearted and positive. Also, don't be afraid to interact with the audience to make them feel included. After a few minutes, wrap up your toast by thanking everyone and then raising your glass. If you want to learn how to practice and write your toast beforehand, keep reading the article! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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22 Toast Speech

Here’s to those that love us! And for those that do not love us, may God turn their hearts. And if he cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles; so that we may know them, by their limping. Irish Blessing/Curse

Cheers ,  slainte ,  skal ,  prost , and  salud ! A toast speech is a type of tribute speech meant to honor someone. Your goal as a speaker should be to make that person feel special and to allow others in the room to be included in the celebration.

Ceremonial Speaking Wheel

All ceremonial speeches should include the trio –narration, magnification, and identification.

Identification

When thinking about your toast, don’t just think about the person you are toasting but about everyone in the room and think about how to bring them into your speech.  Saying “we” are here to honor the recipient and reminding the audience of shared values helps the audience to be a part of the process.  Say things that invite the audience in several times throughout the speech.

Wedding Toast Instead of saying:  Amy and I played Barbie as children and always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate. Say : As many of you know, Amy and I played Barbie for hours as children.  What you may not know is we always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate.

———-

Graduation Toast Instead of saying: I wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career. Say: We here, your family and friends, all wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career

Retirement Toast Instead of saying: Dad, I was so happy you let me come and play in your office even if I ran your stapler out of staples by shooting them at the invisible villains that were hiding under your desk. Say: As many of you here now, dad would sometimes let me come to work with him.  And while most of you thought that I was the perfect little bosses’ kids, you may not have known that I was really a super hero executing the invisible villain that I found in dads desk. I killed it with all the staples from dad’s stapler.

The use of story helps the audience to be drawn in and want to listen. In short toasts, you can tell a series of one-sentence stories. In larger toasts, you can tell one long story or numerous little stories. Tell your story in a way that the audience relives the moment with you.

Magnification

Take a trait of the individual and magnify it. I’m not talking about superfluous embellishment; I’m talking about honest elaboration. For example, you might talk about

• Triumph over obstacles
• Unusual accomplishment
• Superior performance
• Unselfish motive
• Benefit to society
• The greatness of a simple thing

Now you know of the key elements that should be in your speech, let’s talk about the process of building a toast, writing a toast, and delivering a toast.

Gather the Details

What type of toast is it.

Always adapt your toast to the occasion: Wedding, graduation, retirement, business celebration, award celebration, birthday.

Who will attend?

You will give a different speech to your old college roommate on his birthday if it is just you and the gang versus if his conservative parents are in the room. It will be an even different speech if his new employer is present.  Remember, a toast is not just about the person being celebrated but it is about others in the room.  As you write your toast, keep imagining the key people present at the event.

Are there expectations about how long the toast will be?  It is always good to ask. It can be awkward if there are several people toasting and each gives a five-minute toast and you have prepared only a two-minute toast. Typically wedding-type toasts, retirement toasts, and graduation toasts are longer speeches and people speak from notes.  On the other hand, shorter toasts are usually memorized

Sit down and just start jotting ideas.  Think of your brain as a water faucet. You are not going to get any water until you turn the thing on. Many people complain they can’t think of ideas, but they never actually turn on the idea faucet. Think of brainstorming as turning those ideas on and getting your creative juices flowing.   Start brainstorming ideas and memories one day and then give it a day or two to think about more memories.

When I turn off my faucet at home, there are usually a few drips that happen as the rest of the water gets out of the line. Think of your brain that way. Give it time to drip out the last ideas and be there to catch them. They just might be the best ideas of all. Some people find if they brainstorm before bed that they wake up with the best ideas. Always assume that you will forget your ideas, so write them down as soon as you think of them.

For more on brainstorming

  Sit Down and Write

At this point, just get your ideas down. Put down more ideas than you will use.  Allow yourself to write down some cheesy things—by cheesy, I mean those ideas that are silly, extreme, or not right for the occasion. Just go with it. Write those cheesy ideas down, maybe you will use this somehow but probably not. Most importantly, the creative ideas are hiding in your brain behind the cheesy ones and if you don’t get the cheesy ideas out of the way, you will never get to the next level.

Now. Let’s think about that faucet again. Imagine there is something clogging it. You have to put some pressure on it so you can get it working. I like to think of cheesy ideas as that clog in the line. I have to get the cheesy clog out of the way by giving my mind permission to go there and once that line is clear. I need to be ready for all the great ideas that will come out in force after the clog comes out.

Taking It to The Professional Level

If you want to give your toast the professional edge, try using a theme and then adding in some parallel construction. In this next section, I will show you how that works.

Use a Theme

Pick a theme for your toast and carry it throughout the whole toast. I like to think of the theme as the container that holds the speech together.

For example, Drew gave a best man speech and used the theme of a road trip. He told stories of him and his best friend and their adventures (at least the adventures you the ones that you can tell when mom is in the room). He talked about fighting over which music is played, he told stories about bathroom breaks, and he confessed that his friend was always getting lost. These were fun stories and by hearing them we could all imagine the friendship they shared. In his speech, he told us that whoever was in the passenger seat was called the “roundtrip captain.” He gave the new bride advice on how to navigate the relationship since he knew so much about his friend from all these road trips. The speech wrapped up with Drew telling the bride that she was the map reader now and he passed to her the title of “road trip captain.”

Erin gave a graduation toast to her family members who supported her through college. She used the theme of climbing hills. It was the perfect theme since the University of Arkansas campus that she graduated from seems to be arranged so everything is uphill–both ways.  She talked about walking the hills both physically and symbolically. In her speech, she talked about how beautiful the view is from the top. She wrapped up her speech by saying now that she is graduated how she has new hills to climb.

Keep in mind the theme is just the container.  If you have only a container, it will seem cliché and sound like a cheap greeting card. The theme is not the speech, it is the container that holds your many stories.  Make sure to develop those stories.

Use Parallel Construction

Parallel construction is where you take one sentence and you repeat it. It lets you tell a lot of little stories in a short period.  Always have at least 3 sentences, keep them together, and try to give them rhythm.

Consider this format and how it might be used for the different toast types.

At a Wedding Toast

I remember when ___ I remember when ___ I remember when ___ I knew you were the “one” because… I knew you were the “one” because… I knew you were the “one” because…

At a Retirement Toast

Many of you know dad for selling insurance, but I know dad for selling me on the idea to go to college Many of you know dad for working long hours at the office, but I know dad for working long hours on school projects that I only mentioned to him the night before they were due. Many of you know dad as a business profession, but I know dad as my super hero. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for …. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for …. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for ….

TOAST PATTERNS

When picking a speech pattern for the toast, consider the audience and occasion. Many toasts are just one to two minutes while others can be five to seven minutes.

Short Toasts Pattern

• Let us raise our glass to… Today, I would like to recognize…
• Make a list of attributes/accomplishments of the person. With each statement there is a building sensation –each statement you make is better than the next.
•  Build to a climax. Create a building sensation using parallel construction.
• Raise your glass near the end.
• End with a poem, quote, or wish them well. (I really think a well-chosen quote makes these speeches special…it is worth the time to look for one to make it really special)

Note: Typically short toasts are memorized and longer toasts are written as a manuscript.

  Wedding Toasts Possible Patterns

Give Their New Spouse the Manual of How to Get Along with Them

• Tell a story or two about your friendship with your friend
• Tell a story about when your friend met the person they are marrying. What did they say about this person? What were your first impressions? Tell anything about the two of them together? What are they like as a couple? How do you know they are right for each other? Tell something you observe about them when they are together?
• Give the person advice on how to navigate life with your friend since you know them so well. Think of this as passing on the manual.

Three Stories

• Tell three stories about the couple.
• Maybe, how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Maybe, three ways you know they are in love.
• Maybe, three things you noticed about how they care for each other.

I Knew It Was Love…

• Tell five ways that you knew it was love. Tell a story attached to each of the ways
• Tell what your friend was like before and how they are better now than they are with the one they love.

Note: Never mention old girlfriend/boyfriends, never give away secrets to clueless family members (they are living together, that you and your friend snuck out in high school), and always keep it positive. You likely have inside information about the person you are toasting–their wedding is not the time to reveal it. 

Retirement Toast Possible Patterns

If you are a work colleague of the person retiring:

• These are the three things that set this person apart.
• These are the three things that I learned from this person.

If you are the child or the spouse of the person retiring:

• Talk about what their career looked like from your position. How were they dedicated?
• How did it help you benefit from their job and friends? What did you learn from watching them work?

Note: It can be fun to use their job as the theme. For example, if the person is a coach make the whole speech in the theme of a game. If the person is in sales, use marketing terms to hold it together. If they collected something interesting that was displayed in the office, it lends itself to the theme.

Graduation Toast Possible Patterns

Looking back, looking ahead

• Tell a few stories about them before graduation and tell what you expect to see in the future.

We’ve come through a lot together, Here’s some advice for your next step.

• Tell stories of your relationship, how that relationship talks about character attributes that led them to graduate.
• Give advice on how to navigate the next step.

Top Ten List

• Ten things you need to know about (surviving college, having your first real job, etc.).
• This can be especially fun coming from the sibling that is in college to the one headed to college.
• Top ten things you learned in school that you can use in life.
• Top ten things about you that will make you successful.

Let Us Not Forget

• A series of memories that you and most of the group present share. Great for a group of friends
• Find some great meaning to it all. What did it all mean? what did you learn?

Note: It can be fun to use their major, their future job, or their hobbies as the theme. 

Anniversary Toast Patterns

• Maybe how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Tell five ways that you knew it was love and tell a story attached to each of the ways. Interview five of their friends and tell the five stories from their friends about love.

How They Taught You What Love Is

• What have you learned by watching them love each other well?

A Biography of Love

• Tell a story about their love when they met when they overcame when they did things together.
• Tell a timeline of love events and stories about every major milestone.

Ending a Toast Speech

Typically, a toast speech ends with a thoughtful saying, witty quote, or poem.  There are many toast websites with great one-liners or short poems you can use to end a toast. If it is a longer toast, consider using a theme and connecting the ending with the theme.

“May misfortunes chase you all of your life and never catch up.” “As you slide down the banister of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.”

Short, Short Toasts

There may be times you are called to give a quick, one to three-sentence toast. It is a good idea to have a few memorized quotes ready that can be woven into a short, short toast.

Here is to those who’ve seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can’t tell the difference. May you live for as long as you want, and never want for as long as you live! May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. May you always lie, cheat, and steal. Lie beside the one you love, cheat the devil, and steal away from bad company. Here’s to friends and family who know us well but love us just the same. Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast. “Here’s to that long straight piece in Tetris.”

Toast Etiquette

How Do You Hold the Glass?

Both wine and champagne glasses should be held by the stem, not by the bowl. “You should always hold the glass by the stem, no matter what the shape or size of the glass or the type of wine,” says Michael Greenlee, the sommelier and wine director of Gotham Bar and Grill, in New York City. “The most common mistake I see in restaurants and at dinner parties is people holding a wineglass by the bowl.”

Three reasons to hold the glass by the stem: 

• The glass is pretty;  you don’t want your fingerprints to mess it up.
• Putting your hand on the glass would block seeing the color of the wine or block your ability to watch the bubbles dance in the champagne.
• White wine and champagne are chilled, and red wine is served a room temperature. The temperature influences the taste and your hands on the glass will warm up the beverage and change it from its optimal temperature.

What Do You Do When Listening to a Toast?

Those who are listening to someone being toasted should hold their glass when the toast is being made.  At the end of the toast, listeners should raise their glasses, tilt the glass towards the person being toasted, and then take a sip.

What Do You Do If You Are the One Being Toasted?

When you are being toasted, you should sit and listen.  Smile and nod to let the person toasting know you are listening. You should not hold or lift your glass.  Once the toast is over and everyone has had a sip, then you may nod and/or say, “Thank You.”  One of the more common questions I get is, “Do I drink to myself?” and the answer is “no, you do not drink to yourself.”

Should We Clink our Glasses?

Check five different etiquette specialists and you will get five different answers. Some groups clink and some groups don’t clink. It is best to take your lead from those with the highest power of those in the center of the event. For example, if you have dinner with your co-workers and your boss is present, see what the boss does. If you are at a wedding, see what the head table does and copy.

The larger the group, the less likely there will be glass touching because it is difficult to touch everyone’s glasses. If you are in a clinking group, when you touch the bowl of the glasses together, you should always look them in the eye and smile.

“As with many of our food traditions, the clinking of glasses traces its root to the health and safety of the drinker. In this case, it goes back to the tendency of nobles to kill each other off by poisoning their food! Wine was very commonly drunk during medieval days because it was one of the only safe liquids available. Water was often polluted, and milk was both useful for other things and thought to be for children only. As the wine was often full of sediment, a poison was easily introduced into it. To prove that his wine was safe, the host would pour a bit of his guest’s wine into his own glass and drink it first, to prove it was safe. If the guest trusted his host, however, he would merely clink his flagon against that of his host’s when his host offered his cup for the sample. The ‘clink’ (or perhaps ‘clunk’ back then, since wood or metal was more common for drinking vessels) was a sign of trust and honesty.” Text from Wineintro.  Clinking of Wine Glasses and Toasts. Retrieved March 28, 2008, from  http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html

Toasting Rules

Hold up your glass while giving a toast.

Never toast with an empty glass, it is considered bad luck.

Always hold the glass by the stem.

Avoid getting the beautiful glasses smudged. That means, not touching the bowl. It also means sipping from the same place on the glass.

Always drink to the person being toasted. If you don’t take a sip then it means that you disagree with the nice things that were said about the person. If you are full of liquid or prefer not to sip the alcohol, just put your lips to the glass and fake it.

If you oversee the filling of the glasses, hold the wine bottle near the bottom and only fill glasses halfway up to give the wine room to breathe. Always offer wine to others before pouring your own wine.

In some regions, people will gently use a knife to tap the glass to bring the group to attention.

At some weddings, the quests may tap their glasses to mean the bride and groom should kiss.

Brainstorm About Your Person

Read through these questions and try to answer them about your person. Not all the questions will relate, and that is OK. That question may trigger an unrelated memory that you can use.

Story What is the story of the two of you as children? What is the first memory you have of this person? How did you meet? What is the story of the two of you as teens? What is the story of the two of you as adults? What is an adventure you had together? When did you do something involving this person that didn’t work out as planned? What is a story that is often told about this person? What is a struggle this person has overcome or a story of where you overcame together? What story will history remember about this person? What story will you tell your kids one day? Why is this person special to you in a way that no one else knows? When did you and this person make a difficult situation fun? How have you seen this person grow?

Stuff What do they collect? What are their hobbies? What types of things are important to them? (Pets, cars, shoes) What are they known for having? (Name brand clothes, a great boat) What does their house/car/backpack say about them? What do you have of theirs that means a lot to you? How is their favorite movie, favorite superhero, favorite song a reflection of them?

The Person What are the physical characteristics that become part of their persona (Tall, big feet, curly hair)? What are they known for emotionally (being kind, being passionate, being stubborn)? What are the phrases they say often? What are they famous for? (Cooking, getting lost)

Relationship How did you meet? What has kept your relationship with this person going? What has been the highlight of the relationship? What do their friends say about them?

Wedding Toast

When and how did they meet? What were your first impressions of them as a couple? What did your friend say about the first time they met? If you were given three wishes for them as a couple, what would they be?

Toast Speech Samples from College Students Toasting Other College Students

Today, I would like to raise my glass (raise your glass) to by the far the most gifted athlete in our class. She showed us what it takes to be a student athlete at the University of Arkansas. She opened up her heart and shared the stories about her mother with us. I know we were all touched. She taught us how to improve our puts and She taught us that golf can be fun. We even learned that even the best athletes get nervous sometimes. In the words of Roy, tin cup, McEvoy, “I hit it again because that shot was a defining moment, and when a defining moment comes along, you define the moment… or the moment defines you.” To Ana, may you always define the moment and not let it define you! I ask students to toast their classmates and to give reference to things that student has said or done in class, consider the following speech ending that references three of the student’s former speeches. Sean here this is to you for all you have given us. May your bike never fail you (reference to speech on changing a tire), May your sense of nature keep you wandering (reference to speech on camping) and may your lessons live on, in this lifetime and the next (reference to speech on missionary work).

To someone who Has opened her heart and mind to this class With hopes that they too will join in her efforts to serve God and humanity

To someone who Has made us all feel as if her papaw was our own Pitching and swinging the bat

To someone who Has made each person in this class believe As if we can make a difference in the world One Krispy Kreme doughnut at a time

Anne Frank said, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment Before starting to improve the world. “

To Haley, we toast to you (raise glass) For you have already begun improving the world.

Best Man Toasts the Couple by Joe Burlingame

Thank you all for gathering here tonight on the beautiful occasion to celebrate the love of Korey and Paola. My name is Joe Burlingame and I know many of you have traveled from long distances to be here and we are so grateful that y’all came. Since the lovely maid of honor spoke so highly of Paola I am going to try and make Korey seem like he is worthy.

When Korey told me that things were getting serious and that he was going to propose,

My initial reaction was “Woah, Korey I am flattered but I am perfectly content with being fraternity brothers,” but everybody knew he was talking about Paola. Korey and I’s relationship started about 5 years ago And to this day I remember my first impression–it was like any first impression when we first meet an accounting major/// Aw—wk–kward.

Our friendship though took off like a rocket ship, and before we knew it we were roommates up to the time he betrayed me and found a permanent roommate. I won’t say any names but she is in this room.

In the 4 years, I lived with Korey, I have found 3 things that make him the perfect roommate.

First, Korey loves spontaneous trips. Korey and I went to 6-7 concerts one semester. We only bought tickets in advance for one and that was because it was the one band I wanted to go see. The others were concerts that Korey had caught wind of last-minute and persuaded me to go. One concert, in particular, was the night of Korey and Paola’s first date. They had gone and got coffee and macaroons I think it was maybe an hour-long date. When he got back Korey talked about it as if they had spent a year with each other. Paola I knew then that you had to be special if you had him talking about you for that long.

Second, Korey is a humble servant. Korey if there is a characteristic that describes you it is being a humble servant. I would complain about how hot it was mowing our yard, but you would not only mow ours but our elderly neighbor’s yard as well. You thought you were invisible– I saw it all. Whether it be cleaning dishes, cooking, or constantly going to our neighbors to see if they needed anything done, you were a servant and  I was thankful for you.

Paola I am jealous, I am now going to have to clean and cook for myself now. Nik Birchfield said it best “Korey doesn’t just talk the talk but walks the walk”

Lastly, Korey is someone who is thoughtful. I remember when we first moved in Korey brought in this huge water jug of change and a little wooden chest, I asked what the heck is that for. He responded with “Man I plan on getting married and in order to get married you need a ring.” I was blown away– I never would have thought of that.

Paola I regret that we never really got to hang out. When I saw Korey take that jug of bills and come back with a ring and he started describing why he picked this specific ring out because it matched your characteristics I knew we would be friends.

Korey and I were roommates the night before he was going to pop the question. He practiced a lot with what he was going to say. I know because he practiced on me. I don’t know how many times we practiced the scenario but I could tell you that the words he was going to say to you were heartfelt and genuine

Paola I was able to have the perfect roommate for a few years, but now you will have the perfect roommate for life.

To Paola and Korey!

Hilarious Father of the Bride Toast

This toast is a good example of how to tell a funny story in a speech. This father’s story is brilliant, and his long pauses are perfect for this speech. He goes from having you crying from laughter to tearing up with sentiment.

Atlasobscura. Raise a glass to our readers’ favorite drinking toasts. https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/best-drinking-toasts-and-cheers

Burlingame, J.  Best man toast. Advanced Public Speaking. University of Arkansas.

Chidi-Ogbonna, K. (2018). Nine wine etiquette habits to know. https://thefinestitallianwine.com

Real Simple (n.d.). From how to hold a wine glass  http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/content/0,21770,712709,00.html

Revelations Video. The most hilarious father of the bride toast.[Video] YouTube.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOKduRf7o4k Standard YouTube License.

Wineintro. (2008). Clinking of wine glasses and toasts.  http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html

Media Attributions

• Toasting © Zan is licensed under a CC BY (Attribution) license
• matthieu-joannon-6ciLddToTgM-unsplash © Mattheiu Joannon is licensed under a CC BY (Attribution) license
• holding wine glass is licensed under a CC0 (Creative Commons Zero) license
• marcel-gross-marcelgross-ch-sHTwDYKti6Q-unsplash © Marcel Gross is licensed under a CC BY (Attribution) license

Advanced Public Speaking Copyright © 2021 by Lynn Meade is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Rice Speechwriting

Mastering the art of how to give a toast, how to give a toast like a pro, what are the essential elements of a good toast.

The essential elements of a good toast include a clear and concise message, a personal touch or story, a positive and uplifting tone, eye contact with the audience, and a heartfelt toast to the honoree. Adding humor or a memorable quote can also enhance the impact of a toast.

The key elements of a good toast include a clear and concise message. A good toast should have a central theme or idea that is easy for the audience to understand and relate to. It should be heartfelt and genuine, expressing sincere emotions and appreciation towards the person or occasion being toasted.

Another important element is personalization. A good toast should be tailored to the individual or group being honored. Including personal anecdotes, inside jokes, or specific memories can make the toast more meaningful and memorable for both the honoree and the audience.

Timing and delivery are also crucial. A good toast should be well-timed, neither too short nor too long, in order to ensure that everyone is having a good time. It should be engaging and delivered with confidence and enthusiasm. Using appropriate gestures, maintaining eye contact, and varying the tone and pace of speech can help captivate the audience and keep their attention throughout the toast.

In addition, a good toast should be positive and uplifting. It should focus on celebrating the achievements, qualities, or milestones of the person or occasion being toasted. Avoiding negative or controversial topics ensures that the toast remains enjoyable and respectful to everyone present.

Lastly, a good toast should end on a high note. It should leave the audience feeling inspired, happy, or touched. A memorable closing line or a heartfelt toast to the future can leave a lasting impression and make the toast truly exceptional.

Toast: Short Speech Writing Guide: How to Give a Toast

“Can you just say a few words?”

That invitation can strike fear among people who are asked to give a toast at a wedding, to present an award, to congratulate someone on a promotion, to remember a colleague retiring after 25 years.

Yet it doesn’t have to.

Who is this speechwriting guide for?

This is for anyone giving a short speech whose purpose is to honor someone else.

It’s for all those speeches that mean something, that aren’t televised, that are there to honor the great works and deed others have done in their lives.

Awards Speeches

You’re part of an organization that gives out awards each year and this year you get to present one of them! Figure out what to say that’s short, sweet, and meaningful.

Wedding Speeches: Best Man Speeches, Maid of Honor Speeches, Father and Mother of the Bride Speeches

Your best friend is getting married and you get to give a toast. Guidance for best men, maids of honor, father and mother of the bride—anyone who needs to wish the happy couple well.

A colleague is getting promoted and you want to talk about their achievements and efforts with some good natured fun thrown in.

Retirement Speeches

How do you say goodbye to the key employee who has worked for you for the last 20 years?

What do you say at your own retirement?

Is your mentor or parent retiring and you want to toast them?

Birthday party toasts and anniversary speeches

What about the people who are a really big deal in our lives? What do you say to them on their important days? What would you say at your parents’ 50th wedding anniversary? What about your spouse’s 40th birthday?

Any occasion where you have to “say a few words”

I probably missed a few speech categories above, but any time that you need to give a speech that honors another person, this guide is your guide.

What will be included in this guide to short speeches:

• A brief overview of the various parts of any toast. I break down the typical toast or honor speech for any occasion.
• A step-by-step process to get your speech written. I use the same method when writing for others and you can complete a first draft in the span of a week or any set of seven days spread out over time.
• Real short speeches given by real people. I’ve scoured the internet and my resources to find examples of toasts and other short speeches that you can use as models. All are modern speeches that real people gave. Use them as inspiration for turns of phrases and overall organization to help you plan your words.
• Advice for specific types of short speeches. A wedding toast and an awards speech aren’t the same but share tons of similarities. You’ll learn what each type of speech requires given its occasion. Use this section to avoid faux pas.

Where to start with any short speech

Speakers tend to have two problems when it comes to giving short speeches:

They tell me two things:

First: I can’t think of anything to say

Second: I have too much to say, there’s no way I’ll fit it all in

What to do?

Let’s tackle each one, starting with the first.

But, before we do, let’s begin with Step 1–it’s helpful to have a doc open or a set of notes as you go through this guide.

Step 1: Know your time limits, word count, and any other pertinent details for your speech.

We speak around 135 to 150 words per minute. But when it comes to giving a speech, you want to give yourself extra time to take it slow, to allow for applause and laughter. I’d suggest 100-115 words per minute to gauge how much you need to prepare.

For a 3 minute toast: 300-345 words

For a 5 minute toast: 500 words to 575

For a 10 minute toast: 1000 words to 1150 words

I wouldn’t go beyond 10 minutes for any ceremonial speech–err on the side of brevity.

Find out also when you are expected to give your speech during the event. If you are going early, you can err on the side of being a bit longer than expected. If you are one of the last to speak, keep it as short as possible.

Step 2: Know the key sections you’ll want to think about for your toast:

Many toasts and short speeches have the same sections to them but not always in the order below. You can mix and match as needed.

Acknowledgments and Thank yous:

Depending on the formality of the event, you have to thank certain people who put the event together or who are so important that they deserve to be recognized. Word of caution: Do not go overboard in this portion and make the whole speech one long list of thank-yous.

Stories will make up the bulk of your toast—they are the perfect vehicle to demonstrate change throughout the speech. It’s where you can talk about the deeds of the person you’re honoring or the significance of the event.

You’ll find sections of advice in many toasts—the person giving the toast often has words of wisdom for the happy couple during a wedding toast or sage advice to those just starting on their careers during the speaker’s own retirement speech. This is where you can take the lessons of change you’ve experienced and give them to the audience or the people who are a part of your toast, with advance notice or in the spur of the moment. So, don’t forget to include your best wishes for the future in your toast, as it adds a heartfelt touch to your words of wisdom.

Significance of the event:

Sometimes the event itself is important enough that it should be mentioned and featured in your toast (other times, you may just need a few sentences).

Opening and Closing:

Any speech will have a captivating opening and closing, and toasts are no different. The best ones will have openings and closings that relate to one another; oftentimes, the closing can even contain a special 1-2 line mini-toast that sums up the speech itself. Additionally, it is important to propose a toast at the appropriate time during a dinner party, typically at the beginning of the meal or just before dessert. We’ll work on specific techniques later on in this guide to craft closings that will be remembered long after the main speech concludes.

Here are some questions to get you started, we’ll dive into the specifics momentarily:

• Are there any VIPs in the audience that you must acknowledge or thank? Keep this list very short and go with the ones who are most important or whose egos will be hurt if you don’t mention them. If it’s too many, can you generalize the group (“Honored guests,”)?
• If you are honoring a person, what makes them so incredible and great? Why are they being honored at this event? What have they done that has impressed you? What have you learned from them? What moments of greatness stick out in your mind? What stories can you tell around each answer?
• What is the significance of the event you’ll be speaking at? Is it an eternal one like marriage? What is the history of the event? Why did the group start? What are they doing today that is so impactful?
• Is it appropriate to give advice at an event like this? If a couple is getting married, what advice do you have for them? If someone is retiring or being promoted, what advice can you give to others in the room that want to live up to that person’s example?
• Are there particular quotes or sayings that you think could work at the beginning or end of the toast? Have people heard these before or will they be fresh? Are they unique to the occasion?
• What movie did you see recently (or book you read) that showed a dramatic change in its characters? Did you read or watch anything recently that seemed to fall flat? Can you pinpoint a lack of change in the characters as the reason?

Step 3: Brainstorm your speech ideas: What to do when you can’t think of anything to say in your speech

The best place to start are the dual goals of any ceremonial speech: You want to honor the person and honor the event.

From a wedding toast to a retirement speech to an anniversary celebration, the goals are the same.

You want to honor a person or a couple and the event itself.

Great toasts and short speeches revolve around telling great stories about the person you’re honoring. Ideally you want a mix of funny and touching stories to tell.

Brainstorming ideas for wedding toasts , birthday speeches, and anniversary speeches:

• Anything you want to say to the close family and friends who will be in attendance?
• Growing up together, I could tell that they would grow into a great person because…
• One moment that most impressed me was when…
• He/She was really there for me when…
• My favorite memory of them was when…
• One story that really demonstrates is when…
• When I first met him/her…
• I am grateful that they are in my life because one time…
• He/she got me out of a tough situation when…
• I can never forget the time when…
• Advice I can give the couple is…
• A time that he/she made me laugh was when…
• What are the person’s greatest character values? What makes them such an excellent match for the other?
• How did the two meet? Were you instrumental in making it happen? How did it happen?
• When did you know the couple found the right person in the other?
• What are the bride or groom’s favorite books, movies, or songs?
• How do the two or one person spend their time? What do their hobbies say about them?
• Do either have a particular set of quirks that are endearing yet not too embarrassing?

Brainstorming ideas for retirement speeches:

• What do you admire about the person retiring?
• What lessons have they taught you?
• How have you changed professionally and personally from watching this person work?
• If you’ve watched them for some time, how have they changed for the better?
• What are your most memorable stories?
• Do they have any odd quirks that aren’t too embarrassing?
• How is the organization better for having this person? How has the organization or department changed in this person’s stead? :

Brainstorming ideas for awards speeches:

Key questions:

• What obstacles did you encounter before the accomplishment that this award has recognized?
• Who helped you along the way? Who mentored you? What did your family give up or sacrifice to help you get here?
• What advice do you have for the next generation after you?
• Is there anything special about the award, the event, or the occasion, that you can remark upon?
• Did you lead a team that helped create the success behind the award? What do you want to say to them?
• When you are giving an award to someone else…
• Structure: Great deeds, how do they live/do their work?, lessons/advice/legacy
• What impressed you the most about this person? Why are they the right choice for the award?
• Have they undertaken any projects or ideas that have gone under the radar? Can you recognize those as well?
• How has this person changed from their beginning to now with the award?
• Is there a call to action for this organization or award’s greater purpose?

Step 4: Organize your short speech

Now that you’ve generated plenty of ideas, you’ll want to determine a structure for your toast.

Details the most common ways you’ll see someone give a toast. The first is advice-based, followed by story-based, and then third, the extended metaphor. See how each one fits the toast you want to give based on the occasion. You can also mix and match the forms as you see fit, including incorporating a good toast by telling a story that connects to the event and wraps up your speech about a particular person, group of people, or event.

Advice Based:

Speeches that are advice-based organize themselves around bits of wisdom or principles. The best example is from the Retirement Manifesto . Here, the speaker uses his retirement to give life advice to those in the audience.

Each piece of advice is followed up by a short story, quote, or something else.

How to adopt this form:

Come up with three to seven principles that you strive to live your life by. Avoid cliches when possible (“live life to its fullest,” “savor every moment,”); instead, think of what you would say if someone asked for life advice over a cup of coffee. What would you tell them?

Another great source for inspiration is Dr. Randy Pausch’s “Last Lecture,” where he gave all the lessons in his life knowing that he had a terminal illness. Do an internet search to find its recording and subsequent book. It’s worth watching multiple times.

Once you have the lessons figured out, find a way to creatively tell each lesson. Most people opt for anecdotes but if you have an interesting bit of research or a shocking number, use those sparingly to break it up.

You can also go the opposite way—think of memorable moments from your life, ones that made you who you are today—ones that changed you (back to the Hero’s Journey). What lessons can you draw from those moments? You can either lead with those moments as a story or headline the section and tell the story after.

Each piece of advice is the headline for the section with the content that follows illuminating the advice. You can also go the opposite way and tell a story and conclude the lesson from it.

Each lesson doesn’t need to be the same length—for some, you’ll have more to say than others and that’s OK.

Why 3-7? It’s a starting point and there’s no real rhyme or reason. Three because many speeches are organized around threes. Seven is an upper limit to help keep the speech on the shorter side. Go with what feels right to you.

When it’s appropriate:

You’ll find advice-based speeches most often at retirements, promotions, birthday parties, and occasionally weddings. Usually the person giving the advice is much wiser, experienced, or older, than the people listening.

For example, a father of the bride may be giving marriage advice to the new couple. Or a fire chief is giving advice to a room of candidates upon their graduation from training. Or someone is celebrating 50 years on this earth and wants to give advice to those a bit younger in the audience.

Story Based:

Story-based speeches lead with a story rather than a set of lessons. Sometimes they blend with the advice version but not all stories are told as moral warnings. Some are told to show someone’s great character or a touching moment.

How to do this form:

Story-based speeches can be a series of vignettes or they can be one long complete story. Think first about the values and character of the person you’re honoring and find the stories that demonstrate those. You might have a few stories or one really good one.

Steve Jobs’ Stanford commencement address is a great example of the form–he tells three stories and makes a connection between each one.

When they’re appropriate:

Almost always. This is the most popular way of giving a toast where you talk about the great stories of a person and use those to help make your point.

However, you’ll find them most often in wedding toasts where you get to hear great stories of the groom and bride. Other times, when honoring someone at their retirement or birthday party, you’ll want to tell stories that illuminate their best qualities.

How do you tell the difference between story-based and advice-based? Aren’t they two sides of the same coin?

Yes, they can be. As you’ll notice in the retirement speech, it’s advice and story driven. That’s fine. The goal in making the distinction is that you won’t always have advice to give after a story or the point of the story may be for laughter or sentimentality. You can end a story with lessons that you learned or what impressed you the most about it, but you just don’t have to. Plus, you probably won’t headline a story with its advice and values, “Now let me tell you about the time when John showed courage.” Let the story imply what was shown and draw the details after.

These structures aren’t rigid and can be mixed and matched.

Thank you based:

Someone out there wrote some speech advice that’s mostly correct: Don’t fill the opening of a speech with thank-yous nor the whole thing. That’s almost right.

A thank-you based speech, when done correctly, can work. Instead of headlining each section with advice as seen above, come up with whom you are thankful for and why. Use each person or group as a headline.

Within each one, give words of thanks, tell short stories, and use that as an opportunity to thank them.

When appropriate:

You’ll find this type of speech most appropriate when you are the center of attention for an award or other occasion where many people helped you get to the big day.

You’re receiving an award; you are graduating at the top of your class; you are celebrating a birthday surrounded by friends and family and they all had an impact on you.

Extended Metaphor:

This is the trickiest to pull off but it can be powerful when done correctly. Take a look at this award acceptance speech from Audra Lawlor at Girl Meets Dirt . It doesn’t fit neatly into any of the categories above, but look at how it’s giving lessons and telling a story all at once.

Can you mix and match?

Yes, and that’s what makes each toast unique. In the body of your toast, you can have a part where you tell great stories about the person you’re honoring and then offer a few words of advice to the crowd.

You can thank specific people who helped you achieve a certain goal but then provide advice to the rest of the crowd.

Key takeaways:

• The body of your speech is where you get to tell stories, give advice, and give specific thank-yous to meaningful people in your life.
• You can choose to headline the sections with advice, story themes, or thank-yous or go the more subtle route, lead with a story, and then conclude with the takeaways you want for your audience.
• Many find it much easier to write the body of a speech first and then later worry about the opening and closing that will act as bookends on the speech. If you’re stuck here, go onto the next section and try the opening and closing parts and come back to the body.

Step 5: Editing–What if my speech is too long?

As promised, here’s how to edit your speech down if you feel that you have too much to say or you are way over in your allotted time and word count.

First, determine the funniest story and the most sentimental story–just tell those two as part of the story section in your speech. You ideally want both to balance each out–plus, sometimes a funny story is taken seriously by the audience and it just becomes sentimental.

Second, cut down any acknowledgments or thank-yous or cut the section entirely. You can make one or two acknowledgments if there’s a VIP in the room (like your CEO or the bride’s father) but cut out the number of people you are thanking.

Third, leave only the essential details in the story you’re telling. If there are extraneous characters that don’t matter much to the plot, take them out. Think of each story like a movie trailer–only add in the absolutely necessary details and let the audience fill in the rest.

Understanding the Importance of Preparation

You’ve heard the saying, right? “By failing to prepare, you’re preparing to fail.” Well, there’s a good reason why it’s become such a well-known phrase. The concept holds true, particularly when you’re about to give a toast. Preparation is not merely a task to check off the list; it’s an essential step that frames the success of your toast. Let’s dive into why that is.

Firstly, thorough preparation can boost your confidence. By taking the time to write, review, and rehearse your speech, you become familiar with the ins and outs of your message. You understand the sequence of your thoughts, the balance of humor, and solemnity. You even prepare for possible reactions from your audience.

Especially when you are nervous, being prepared can act as an anchor, providing you with a sense of certainty and control. Wouldn’t it be comforting to know exactly where you’re taking your audience on this small journey of a toast?

Preparation also enables you to master the technical aspects of your toast. It gives you time to adjust the length of your speech fitting into the event’s schedule or structure the content for clarity and impact. It allows you to anticipate interruptions, manage contingencies, and execute impeccable timing. In simple words, preparation puts you in control of your toast.

Also, while spontaneity has its charm, a toast is not an ideal opportunity for winging it. Wit and eloquence are often born from well-crafted preparation, and, let’s face it, the risk failing in front of a crowd isn’t precisely appealing, is it?

Lastly, by investing time in preparation, you’re also showing respect to your audience. It demonstrates that you value their time and attention, that you wanted to offer them a well-thought-out message, rather than a hastily conjured jumble of words. In a sense, a perfectly prepared toast is a gift, wrapped up in your goodwill and best intentions.

Crafting the Perfect Opening Line

You’re standing in front of an expectant crowd, your heart is pounding, but it’s your moment to shine. How do you capture their attention from your very first word? That’s where the importance of the perfect opening line comes into play. But where do you start?

Getting it right isn’t rocket science, but it’s indeed an art—a mixture of wit, sensitivity, timing, and just the right measure of confidence. If crafted right, the opening line will set the tone, engage your audience, and smoothly transition them into the body of your toast.

Top tip: Start by building a connection. Ask yourself, how can you bring everyone into a shared moment? A good starting point is to introduce yourself, especially when not everyone knows who you are. Yet, be brief—you’re not the focus, remember?

Setting the Right Tone for Your Toast

Let’s talk about tone, shall we? The tone of your toast can make or break the whole event. It’s that instrumental part of your speech that sets the atmosphere, guides the audience’s emotions, and helps to deliver your message as intended.

Now you might wonder, how do you actually set a tone? Well, it all begins with understanding the event and its purpose. Is it a joyous wedding celebration? Or an in-depth tribute to an accomplished colleague’s career? Or perhaps a bittersweet farewell to a beloved friend moving afar? Once you’ve got the event’s rhythm, you’re halfway there to setting the appropriate tone.

Humor? Of course, it’s a wonderful ice-breaker! But humor must align with the event’s spirit and the audience’s expectations. Be sensitive to the cultural, age, and background diversities of the attendees. The best toasts are those that can connect universally, yet feel extraordinarily personal to everyone listening.

But what if the occasion is serious? No problem! A serious tone can be exceptionally powerful if handled well. Your speech doesn’t have to be a monotone eulogy. Try to break up the solemn atmosphere with moments of levity, anecdotes that light up faces, or sprinkle a little light-hearted wisdom now and then. The key is balance, reminding us all that even in moments of grief or solemnity, life remains full of love, hope, and unexpected joys.

Now, a bit of caution, please. While setting the tone, you must stay genuine. Remember? Emotions are contagious. If you’re not feeling it, neither will your audience. So, engage from a place of empathy and authenticity; let your feelings guide your words.

Confused about how to blend it all? Let’s resort to an old friend – practice . Practice your speech as much as you can until you find the ‘tone’ that feels right.

In the end, whether your toast is humorous, heartfelt, solemn, or celebratory, the tone should echo the event’s spirit, resonate with the audience’s emotions, and most importantly be authentic to you. Remember, there’s no ‘one size fits all’ strategy for giving good toasts. Your tone is unique to you, your relationship with the honoree, and the occasion itself. Master this, and you’re one step closer to giving a toast that’s hard to forget.

Telling a Compelling Story or Anecdote

Ever wondered why we remember stories better than mere facts or figures? It’s because stories engage our emotions and ignite our imaginations, allowing us to visualize and connect with what’s being said. So, what about making your toast a story worth remembering?

The first thing to do? Find the heartfelt or memorable moments that have left an imprint. Maybe it was a shared experience, a humorous incidence, or a turning point in the life of the person or persons being toasted. These moments don’t necessarily have to be monumental. Sometimes, it’s the little things that resonate most, the ones that capture a person’s character or the essence of a shared relationship. Telling a compelling story is a great way to express sincere affection and gratitude for the person being toasted.

Once you’ve chosen your story, craft it effectively. Remember, every good story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. The beginning should hook your listeners, setting up the story you’re about to tell with a simple formula. This could be based on the context of the toast, an interesting snippet about the person, or a quote that encapsulates the mood or theme of your story. The middle is where you detail the incident, capturing the meaningful aspects in vivid, engaging detail. Finally, bring it all home with a heartfelt end that connects the story back to the reason for the toast.

But what if you’re not a born storyteller? Don’t worry; we all have it in us to tell compelling tales. Here’s a simple structure to guide you:

• Set the scene: Start by describing the setting, time, place, and the people involved to draw your listeners in.
• Present the event: What happened? Include enough detail to make it real, but not too much to bore your audience.
• Show the impact: How did the event affect you or the person you’re toasting? This helps to make your story relatable and showcases the depth of your shared experiences.
• Wrap it up: Integrate the story into the context of the toast by adding a comment or moral at the end that encompasses why this story resonates.

One crucial aspect to remember is to keep your story authentic. Being true to the experiences and the personalities involved makes your toast genuine and impactful. In the end, you won’t just be telling a story; you’ll be creating a beautiful memory that people can carry with them. Now, who wouldn’t raise a toast to that? Remember, this is a toast, not a roast, so keep the humor light and appropriate.

Using Humor to Connect with Your Audience

When you’re trying to make a memorable toast, humor can be an incredibly powerful tool. A well-placed joke or a funny anecdote can lighten the mood, disarm your audience, and make you more relatable. Who doesn’t love a good laugh, right?

Let’s get this straight, though. When I talk about humor, I don’t mean you need to transform into a stand-up comedian. No, you just need to share a funny, amusing moment, maybe an inside joke that everyone in the room can relate to or a light-hearted story that puts a smile on their faces.

But how do you do this effectively?

• Understand Your Audience: The first step in using humor in your toast is understanding your audience. What makes them laugh? What kind of humor do they appreciate? Remember, what’s funny to one group may not necessarily be funny to another.
• Timing is Essential: Just like comedic performances, timing in humor is everything when giving a toast. A well-timed punchline can transform a simple narrative into an unforgettable piece of humor.
• Be Authentic: Authenticity breeds connection. Try to share personal humorous stories or jokes that you find funny. Your sincere laughter can be infectious and could lead to a shared moment of mirth with your audience.
• Less is More: A brief touch of humor in your toast can work wonders. You don’t have to overload your script with jokes. Instead, let the levity arise naturally from the story or the situation.

Importantly, always remember to stay respectful and understanding. Humor should be an instrument of unity, not division. Avoid controversial, offensive, or polarizing jokes. Keep it light, keep it fun, and most importantly—keep it ‘you’!

To conclude, humor can be a powerful tool when toastmastering. It can connect you with your audience, enlighten the atmosphere, and make your speech memorable. It may require a bit of practice, and you might not get it right the first time. But don’t worry. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Remember, each time you give a toast, it’s a learning experience, and with each stroke, you’re painting a masterpiece of your journey as a public speaker. So, shall we raise a glass to humor in toasts?

Adding Personal Touches to Your Toast

Being personal is the lifeblood of any good toast. It’s not just about sharing information or entertaining the audience; it’s about forming a connection, a bond that links your words to the hearts of those present. So, how do you achieve this touch of personalization, and with finesse at that?

First off, be authentic. There’s something incredibly powerful about being genuine – it’s appealing, relatable and simply hard to dislike. When you’re delivering your toast, speak from the heart. Share personal anecdotes, bring out genuine emotions and do so with sincerity. Remember, the audience can feel your authenticity, and it acts as a magnet, drawing them into your message.

Remember: “Speak genuinely, and your words will hold a charm only the truth can lend.”

Next, relate to your audience. You’re giving a toast, not a lecture. Therefore, the people in the room aren’t just passive receivers; they are part of your conversation. Mention mutual experiences, speak in terms familiar to the group, and use ‘we’ instead of ‘I.’ Relating in your toast ensures that your points resonate with the audience and holds their attention more effectively. And once you’ve connected with the audience, it’s time to hit the dance floor and celebrate together.

Lastly, incorporate elements of surprise. This might be an interesting fact about the person you’re toasting, a behind-the-scenes story, or a perspective that other people haven’t heard before. A touch of surprise not only keeps the audience engaged but adds that intrigue that makes your toast memorable.

Quick Recap:

• Be Authentic: Speak from the heart, lets your sincerity shine through.
• Relate to your Audience: Use mutual experiences and inclusive pronouns.
• Incorporate Elements of Surprise: An unexpected fact or story adds intrigue.

By sprinkling these personal touches throughout your toast, you’re not just speaking, you’re captivating, and you’re not just being heard, but truly felt. And isn’t that the essence of a good toast?

Including Meaningful Quotes or Poetry

There’s something profoundly powerful about a right quote or a nugget of poetry in a toast. They have a way of embedding deep wisdom in a few lines, aren’t they? But you might be wondering, how do you incorporate them into your toast? Do you worry if quotes might overshadow your original thoughts? No worries, we’re going to delve into that together.

First off, ensure that any quote or poem you want to use is spot-on and serves a purpose. Relevance is key . Is there a favorite quote of the person you’re toasting? Does a particular piece of poetry reflect the essence of the occasion? Use these questions as a guide.

Perhaps, you’re afraid that a borrowed wisdom might steal the show, leaving your original thoughts in the shade. Well, it’s not about stealing the limelight, but rather about illuminating the theme of your toast. It’s okay if a quote steals the show for a moment; after all, you’re the director, aren’t you?

“You don’t have to write everything from scratch, even light is borrowed.” – Anonymous

See what we did there? Quotes can provide a poignant pause, a moment of reflection in the bustling toast-party. And if you weave it seamlessly into your narrative, it actually lends more depth to your message.

Honestly, incorporating poetry can be a bit tricky, especially if it’s lengthy. But here’s a tip – use excerpts that are punchy and hit home. Avoid long poems unless you’re confident you can keep your audience enthralled. Always remember, you’re not reciting poetry for a literature class, but giving a toast.

Lastly, before including a quote or poem, make sure you attribute it to the rightful author. It’s a sign of respect and authenticity. Not to forget, it saves you from committing a social faux pas!

So, are you starting to see how meaningful quotes or poetry can add an extra layer of sophistication to your toast? As the cherry tops the cake, a well-placed quote or verse could be that special something to uplift your toast from good to extraordinary. But remember, the quote or poetry is not the star of the show – you are, and the people you’re toasting to!

Structuring Your Toast for Maximum Impact

Structuring the perfect toast isn’t as simple as throwing together a few words and hoping for the best. It requires careful planning and a clear understanding of the various elements that make a good toast. You see, the structure of your toast, or how it’s arranged, plays a crucial role in delivering your message effectively, leaving an impact and capturing the heart of your audience. Let’s dive into some actionable steps you can take to go about this.

Firstly, you have to start with a bang . Remember the old adage: first impressions matter. Your opening line should be engaging enough to grab your audience’s attention and interesting enough to keep it. A great quote, a short anecdote, or a surprising fact can do wonders by providing a readymade hook.

After your captivating opening, navigate to the body of the toast . Here is the place to insert the bulk of your message, whether it’s a heartfelt sentiment, a shared memory, or an inspiring quote. Just remember to keep it concise, relevant, and compelling. A good rule of thumb is to include only elements that contribute to the main theme of your toast.

Finally, nail your toast with a memorable conclusion. Your final sentence should be powerful and resonate long after you’ve returned to your seat. Endings which tie back to the beginning often have maximum impact and create a satisfying sense of closure. And of course, don’t forget to raise your glass, propose the toast, and take a sip at the end.

K.I.S.S. – Keep It Short and Simple – My personal mantra for a well-structured toast. Delivering a concise, well-organized toast can be more effective in getting your message across than a lengthy, disorganized one. Remember, you’re aiming for quality over quantity.

Now, the question might arise, how can you ensure that your toast follows this structure? One effective approach is to write an outline beforehand. Think of it as a blueprint for your toast. This will not only provide a visual representation of your toast’s structure but also helps you stay on track, preventing you from veering off-topic.

In conclusion, structuring your toast effectively is integral to delivering a successful toast. With a strong opening, a compelling body, and a memorable conclusion, you’ll be well on your way to crafting a toast that leaves a lasting impression.

Using Body Language to Enhance Your Toast

Have you ever watched a public speaker who just seemed to captivate the room with their presence? Chances are, that wasn’t just the subject matter of their speech – much of it likely had to do with their body language. Sure, words matter, but what can make them truly spellbinding is how they’re delivered. That’s right, the way you stand, move, and gesticulate during your toast can significantly enhance its overall effect. So, how do we go about this you might wonder?

Firstly, you’ve got to understand that body language is a means of communication. Subtle changes in your posture, gestures, or facial expressions can send a powerful message. And just like language itself, body language can be fluent and impactful if practiced and understood. So, let’s decode this language of the body, right?

Mastering your Posture

Consider this: you’re about to give a toast, and you slump into the microphone, feet shuffling, shoulders hunched. Do you think the audience would be convinced of your confidence or engaged in your speech? Probably not. A strong, upright, and relaxed posture not only enhances your voice projection but also conveys a sense of confidence. Remember, you’ve got to own the room!

Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. This stance provides a stable base, makes you appear grounded, and prevents unnecessary swaying. Keep your spine straight, but don’t become a rigid statue. Casual movement, if natural and unforced, can make your toast feel more personal and engaging.

The Power of Gestures

We’re all prone to using hand gestures when we speak – it’s a natural byproduct of our desire to emphasize what we’re saying. Use this to your advantage! You can employ gestures to emphasize key points, express enthusiasm, or even prompt laughter. It’s a little like conducting an orchestra: your words come to life with the aid of your hands.

While large, dramatic gestures might be suitable for the stage, in a toast scenario, keep it focused and meaningful. Remember, the objective is not to draw attention to your gestures but to use them to reinforce what you’re saying.

Facial Expressions Speak Volumes

Your face is the most expressive part of your body. Whether it be a slight smirk or a furrowed brow, facial expressions can dramatically enhance the sentiments conveyed in your speech. A genuine smile, as simple as it may sound, can create engagement and impart warmth to your audience. Trust me; authenticity goes a long way!

The takeaway here is that thoughtful use of body language can elevate your toast from a mundane monologue to an engaging performance. Whether it’s a wedding toast or a farewell speech, remember, body language is a powerful tool – so why not hone it to your advantage?

Engaging Your Audience with Eye Contact

Let me reiterate a crucial point here: Eye contact is a powerful tool when engaging your audience. It doesn’t matter whether you’re speaking to a group of five or five hundred; eye contact can strengthen your connection with your listeners and command their attention.

Consider this – remember the last time someone held your gaze during a conversation? It made you feel interesting and heard, right? The same is true when you’re toasting.

By looking into people’s eyes, you’re saying without words: “I respect you. I value your presence. The words I’m saying are important to you too.” Let’s explore how to make the most of eye contact when delivering a toast.

Gauging Your Audience’s Reaction

If you want to really connect and engage with your audience, watch their reactions . As you make eye contact with different people during your toast, you can gather valuable feedback. If they seem engaged and responsive, you’re on the right track. However, if they seem unsettled or disinterested, it may be time to adjust your delivery, lighten the mood, or make a joke. Remember, your audience’s reactions are your guide.

Maintaining a Balance

Though eye contact is essential, there’s a fine balance to consider. Staring too intently might make your audience feel uncomfortable. On the other hand, fleeting or absent eye contact could give the impression that you’re insincere or nervous. The key is in finding the balance – aim for honest and steady eye contact that communicates your respect and appreciation.

Incorporating Eye Contact Naturally

Of course, the trick here is to incorporate eye contact naturally and not rigidly. Look at someone, smile, connect with your eyes, then naturally move on to someone else. Don’t worry too much about ensuring you make eye contact with everyone. It’s not about playing crowd bingo; it’s about making meaningful connections. Focus on making quality eye contact, not quantity.

So there you have it. Eye contact: easy to understand, a bit trickier to master, but oh-so effective once you do. It’s your subtle superpower in winning hearts and minds when giving a good toast. Master it, and you’re well on your way to achieving toasting greatness.

Managing Nerves and Overcoming Stage Fright

Do the bright lights and constant glances make you tremble whenever you take the stage? It’s completely understandable, even the most experienced speakers suffer from stage fright. But guess what, it’s nothing you can’t conquer.

The trick is to breathe and believe. Inhale deep, exhale slow. That little exercise right there can do wonders to your raging nerves. But that’s not all. Visualizing success, often termed ‘positive mental imagery’, can do wonders as well. Picture yourself on that stage, delivering that unforgettable toast. How does it feel? Pretty spectacular, isn’t it?

This isn’t your typical mumbo jumbo, in fact, many professional athletes and famous performers swear by these techniques. So, what’s stopping you? Try it out and see the magic unfold.

The Art of Overcoming Stage Fright

Stage fright can be a major obstacle that prevents you from delivering a memorable toast. Let’s delve into some strategies that can help you to overcome it effectively:

• Prepare: Nothing beats good preparation. Rehearse your speech, learn it inside and out until the words become second nature. Rehearsing ‘outloud’ and ‘in the open’ can escalate the comfort level you have with your speech.
• Accept and Reframe: It is important to understand and accept that nerves are natural, they come and go. Instead of considering nerves as a negative factor impacting your performance, reframe them as an indication of your enthusiasm and commitment.
• Focus on the Message: Your primary goal is to deliver your message effectively and engage with your audience. Shifting your attention to the significance of your speech, rather than on your fear, will help you ease down.
• Engage with Audience: Find friendly faces and make eye contact. Engage your audience early-on to establish a connection which often helps to settle any leftover nerves.

Remember, fear is just a mind game and luckily, you hold the winning cards. Embrace those nerves and redirect them to enhance your performance. Because let’s face it, there’s nothing like a little adrenaline to get the show going. It’s your stage, own it!

Next time anxiousness comes knocking before an important toast, refer back to these points. After all, remember the unforgettable words of Mark Twain, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.”

Toast Etiquette: Dos and Don’ts to Keep in Mind

Let’s dive right in, shall we? Toasting is an art, undeniably, but it also comes with its fair share of rules or, to put it more gently, etiquette. You’ll want to pay attention to these ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ to avoid stepping on toes or leaving your audience less appreciative of your toasting prowess.

First and foremost, let’s focus on the dos .

• Respect your time limit : To avoid rambling on and potentially boring your audience, remember that a toast is a short speech, not a marathon. Say what you need to say succinctly and with maximum effect.
• Rehearse beforehand : Preparation is key – rehearsal helps iron out creases and makes delivery smoother. Have a run-through, or even a few, refining your words and delivery each time.
• Show appreciation and honor : Remember to show gratitude and appreciate those you are toasting. This is, after all, the primary goal of a toast.
• Speak from the heart : Genuine sincerity is crucial. While you can draw inspiration from other sources, ensure your toast is authentic and comes from your heart.
• Engage the audience : Make eye contact, invoke humor where appropriate, and aim to connect with your audience. Make them feel part of the toast rather than just spectators.

Just as important as the dos are the don’ts . Here they are:

• Avoid inappropriate language or content : A toast is a public and formal address. Therefore, offensive language and inappropriate content are off bounds. If in doubt, err on the side of caution and cut it out.
• Don’t embarrass anyone : A toast is not the time for retelling embarrassing stories or making anyone feel uncomfortable. Keep it friendly and respectful.
• Don’t wing it : Preparation comes in again here – avoid making your toast look like an afterthought by being prepared and well-rehearsed.
• Don’t make it about you : While it’s your toast, remember it’s not about you. Center your speech on the person or event you are celebrating.
• Avoid being overly emotional or dramatic : Keep your emotions in check and avoid turning your toast into a teary spectacle or dramatic performance.

Finally, remember, the ultimate goal is to honor someone or celebrate something special. Remain focused on that, and you’ll stand a good chance of mastering the art of toasting.

The Aftermath: Following Up and Expressing Gratitude

So, you’ve delivered an exquisite toast, turning the atmosphere brimming with cheer and adulation. Yet, believe it or not, your job isn’t quite done. The aftermath of the toast offers a unique opportunity to further deepen relationships and consolidate the goodwill you’ve generated. Wondering how? Let’s dig in.

First off, look around – who seems particularly moved or joyful after your toast? Approach these people. Engage them in conversation. Hear what they have to say. You see, follow-up conversations can often reveal aspects of your toast that resonated with your audience, providing you with crucial insights into what worked and what didn’t.

Another important aspect is expressing gratitude — to those who helped you prepare, and to those who had the patience to listen. When it comes to saying thank you, don’t just stop at a blanket “thanks everyone.” Be specific. Call out people by name. Mingle, shake hands, give out compliments, honor those who influenced you, or inspired sections of your toast. Personal interactions like these go a long way in creating lasting bonds. Additionally, it is important to speak highly of the guest of honor and express gratitude for their presence and impact on the event.

Lastly, take time to evaluate your performance. Reflect on your delivery and the response you garnered. Although it may seem daunting at times, don’t shy away from considering criticisms, should they be presented. Remember that every toast you deliver is a stepping stone towards your growth as a speaker — and it’s up to you to extract the solid learning from each experience.

Now you might be thinking, “do I really need to do all this?” Well, you don’t need to do anything. But isn’t it worth taking just a few extra steps if they enhance your connection with your audience, refine your skills, and most importantly, make the entire experience even more meaningful? I’ll let you answer that one.

So, here’s to mastering the art of the toast aftermath. To conversations and connections. To gratitude and growth. Your journey towards becoming an exceptional toastmaster doesn’t end with the applause — it’s in what happens thereafter that counts, too.

Whether you’re raising a toast for a milestone birthday, an anniversary or professional achievement, the knack lies in understanding your subject and your audience. Refine your thoughts, conjure up compelling stories, pepper them with relevant humor, and add a dash of personal touch. Just remember, sincerity is key.

But remember, mastering the art of toastmaking isn’t solely about the words you speak. It’s about engaging your audience, managing your nerves, understanding the nuances of body language, and putting in the time to prepare meticulously.

It’s also about the aftermath of the toast. Yes, you were witty, captivating, appreciative, and engaging, but there’s something to be said about following up and expressing gratitude in the days that follow. Because it’s not just about one speech, but the legacy of good feelings that that speech leaves behind.

Remember, every great toastmaster had to start somewhere. So, take these lessons, tips, and advice to heart. Tackle your fears head on, and give that toast that will be remembered fondly for years to come. As you embark on this entertaining journey of mastering the art of the toast, commit to finding joy in the process and tapping into the power and potential of public speaking that you’ll discover within yourself. Here’s to your journey to becoming an exceptional toastmaster!

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4.4: Toast Speech

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• University of Arkansas

Here’s to those that love us! And for those that do not love us, may God turn their hearts. And if he cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles; so that we may know them, by their limping. Irish Blessing/Curse

Cheers , slainte , skal , prost , and salud ! A toast speech is a type of tribute speech meant to honor someone. Your goal as a speaker should be to make that person feel special and to allow others in the room to be included in the celebration.

Ceremonial Speaking Wheel

All ceremonial speeches should include the trio –narration, magnification, and identification.

Identification

You are not talking to an audience; you are sharing with an audience. You are celebrating with them and collectively celebrating shared values and shared appreciation for a person/persons and their accomplishments. Saying “we” are here to honor the recipient and reminding the audience of shared values helps the audience to be a part of the process. Say things that invite the audience in several times throughout the speech. This speech is for everyone present.

Wedding Toast Instead of saying: Amy and I played Barbie as children and always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate. Say : As many of you know, Amy and I played Barbie for hours as children. What you may not know is we always made sure that Barbie found her perfect soulmate.

———-

Graduation Toast Instead of saying: I wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career. Say: We here, your family and friends, all wish you the best in your journey ahead as you graduate and start your new career

Retirement Toast Instead of saying: Dad, I was so happy you let me come and play in your office even if I ran your stapler out of staples by shooting them at the invisible villains that were hiding under your desk. Say: As many of you here now, dad would sometimes let me come to work with him. And while most of you thought that I was the perfect little bosses’ kids, you may not have known that I was really a super hero executing the invisible villain that I found in dads desk. I killed it with all the staples from dad’s stapler.

The use of story helps the audience to be drawn in and want to listen. In short toasts, you can tell a series of one-sentence stories. In larger toasts, you can tell one long story or numerous little stories.

Magnification

Take a trait of the individual and magnify it. I’m not talking about superfluous embellishment; I’m talking about honest elaboration. For example, you might talk about

• Triumph over obstacles
• Unusual accomplishment
• Superior performance
• Unselfish motive
• Benefit to society
• The greatness of a simple thing

Now you know of the key elements that should be in your speech, let’s talk about the process of building a toast, writing a toast, and delivering a toast.

Gather the Details

What type of toast is it.

Always adapt your toast to the occasion: Wedding, graduation, retirement, business celebration, award celebration, birthday.

Who will attend?

You will give a different speech to your old college roommate on his birthday if it is just you and the gang versus if his conservative parents are in the room. It will be an even different speech if his new employer is present. Remember, a toast is not just about the person being celebrated but it is about others in the room. As you write your toast, keep imagining the key people present at the event.

Are there expectations about how long the toast will be? It is always good to ask. It can be awkward if there are several people toasting and each gives a five-minute toast and you have prepared only a two-minute toast. Typically wedding-type toasts, retirement toasts, and graduation toasts are longer speeches and people speak from notes. On the other, shorter toasts are usually memorized

Sit down and just start jotting ideas. Start brainstorming ideas and memories one day and then give it a day or two to think about more memories. The next day after brainstorming, your brain will keep cranking out ideas …write them down immediately, put them on a notepad on your phone, or even call yourself and leave yourself a voicemail of the new ideas. Don’t lose them or let them get away.

Let’s think of your brain as a water faucet. You are not going to get any water until you turn the thing on. Many people complain they can’t think of ideas, but they never actually turn on the idea faucet. Think of brainstorming as turning those ideas on and getting your creative juices flowing.

When I turn off my faucet at home, there are usually a few drips that happen as the rest of the water gets out of the line. Think of your brain that way. Give it time to drip out the last ideas and be there to catch them. They just might be the best ideas of all. Some people find if they brainstorm before bed that they wake up with the best ideas. Always assume that you will forget your ideas, so write them down as soon as you think of them.

Sit Down and Write

At this point, just get your ideas down. Put down more ideas than you will use. Allow yourself to even write down some cheesy things—maybe you will use this somehow but probably not. Most importantly, the creative ideas are hiding in your brain behind the cheesy ones and if you don’t get the cheesy ideas out of the way, you will never get to the next level.

Now. Let’s think about that faucet again. Imagine there is something clogging it. You have to put some pressure on it so you can get it working. I like to think of cheesy ideas as that clog in the line. I have to get the cheesy clog out of the way by giving my mind permission to go there and once that line is clear. I need to be ready for all the great ideas that will come out in force after the clog comes out.

Taking It to The Professional Level

If you want to give your toast the professional edge, try using a theme and then adding in some parallel construction.

Use a Theme

Pick a theme for your toast and carry it throughout the whole toast. I like to think of the theme as the container that holds the speech together and the vehicle that helps ideas move from place to place.

For example, Drew gave a best man speech and used the theme of a road trip. He told stories of him and his best friend and their adventures (at least the adventures you the ones that you can tell when mom is in the room). He talked about fighting over the music, having to take bathroom breaks, and his friend always getting lost. These were fun stories that we could all imagine. In his speech, he told us that whoever was in the passenger seat was called the “roundtrip captain.” He gave the new bride advice on how to navigate the relationship since he knew so much about his friend from all these road trips. The speech wrapped up with Drew telling the bride that she was the map reader now and he passed to her the title of “road trip captain.”

Erin gave a graduation toast to her family members who supported her through college. She used the theme of climbing hills. It was the perfect theme since the University of Arkansas campus seems to be arranged so everything is uphill–both ways. She talked about walking the hills both physically and symbolically. In her speech, she talked about how beautiful the view is from the top. She wrapped up her speech by saying now that she is graduated how she has new hills to climb.

Keep in mind the theme is just the container. If you have only a container, it will seem cliché and sound like a cheap greeting card. The theme is not the speech, it is the container that holds your many stories. Make sure to fully develop those stories.

Use Parallel Construction

Parallel construction is where you take one sentence and you repeat it. It lets you tell a lot of little stories in a short period. Always have at least 3 sentences, keep them together, and try to give them rhythm.

Consider this format and how it might be used for the different toast types.

At a Wedding Toast

I remember when ___ I remember when ___ I remember when ___ I knew you were the “one” because… I knew you were the “one” because… I knew you were the “one” because…

At a Retirement Toast

Many of you know dad for selling insurance, but I know dad for selling me on the idea to go to college Many of you know dad for working long hours at the office, but I know dad for working long hours on school projects that I only mentioned to him the night before they were due. Many of you know dad as a business profession, but I know dad as my super hero. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for …. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for …. Many of you know dad for …., but I know dad for ….

TOAST PATTERNS

When picking a speech pattern for the toast, consider the audience and occasion. Many toasts are just one to two minutes while others can be five to seven minutes.

Short Toasts Pattern

• Let us raise our glass to… Today, I would like to recognize…
• Make a list of attributes/accomplishments of the person. With each statement there is a building sensation –each statement you make is better than the next.
• Build to a climax. Create a building sensation using parallel construction.
• Raise your glass near the end.
• End with a poem, quote, or wish them well. (I really think a well-chosen quote makes these speeches special…it is worth the time to look for one to make it really special)

Note: Typically short toasts are memorized and longer toasts are written as a manuscript.

Wedding Toasts Possible Patterns

Give Their New Spouse the Manual of How to Get Along with Them

• Tell a story or two about your friendship with your friend
• Tell a story about when your friend met the person they are marrying. What did they say about this person? What were your first impressions? Tell anything about the two of them together? What are they like as a couple? How do you know they are right for each other? Tell something you observe about them when they are together?
• Give the person advice on how to navigate life with your friend since you know them so well. Think of this as passing on the manual.

Three Stories

• Tell three stories about the couple.
• Maybe, how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Maybe, three ways you know they are in love
• Maybe, three things you noticed about how they care for each other.

I Knew It Was Love…

• Tell five ways that you knew it was love. Tell a story attached to each of the ways
• Tell what your friend was like before and how they are better now than they are with the one they love.

Note: Never mention old girlfriend/boyfriends, never give away secrets to clueless family members (they are living together, that you and your friend snuck out in high school), and keep it positive. You likely have inside information about the person you are toasting–their wedding is not the time to reveal it.

Retirement Toast Possible Patterns

If you are a work colleague:

• These are the three things that set this person apart.
• These are the three things that I learned from this person.

If you are the child or the spouse:

• Talk about what their career looked like from your position. How were they dedicated?
• How did it help you benefit from their job and friends? What did you learn from watching them work?

Note: It can be fun to use their job as the theme. For example, if the person is a coach make the whole speech in the theme of a game. If the person is in sales, use marketing terms to hold it together. If they collected something interesting that was displayed in the office, it lends itself to the theme.

Graduation Toast

Looking back, looking ahead

• Tell a few stories about them before graduation and tell what you expect to see in the future.

We’ve come through a lot together, Here’s some advice for your next step.

• Tell stories of your relationship, how that relationship talks about character attributes that led them to graduate.
• Give advice on how to navigate the next step.

Top Ten List

• Ten things you need to know about (surviving college, having your first real job, etc.).
• This can be especially fun coming from the sibling that is in college to the one headed to college.
• Top ten things you learned in school that you can use in life.
• Top ten things about you that will make you successful.

Let Us Not Forget

• A series of memories that you and most of the group present share. Great for a group of friends
• Find some great meaning to it all. What did it all mean? what did you learn?

Note: It can be fun to use their major, their future job, or their hobbies as the theme.

Anniversary Toast

• Maybe how they met, the engagement, and a story they tell on themselves.
• Maybe, three ways you know they are in love.
• Tell five ways that you knew it was love and tell a story attached to each of the ways. Interview five of their friends and tell the five stories from their friends about love.

How They Taught You What Love Is

• What have you learned by watching them love each other well?

A Biography of Love

• Tell a story about their love when they met when they overcame when they did things together.
• Tell a timeline of love events and stories about every major milestone.

Ending a Toast Speech

Typically, a toast speech ends with a thoughtful saying, witty quote, or poem. There are many toast websites with great one-liners or short poems you can use to end a toast. If it is a longer toast, consider using a theme and connecting the ending with the theme.

“May misfortunes chase you all of your life and never catch up.” “As you slide down the banister of life may the splinters never point the wrong way.”

Short, Short Toasts

There may be times you are called to give a quick, one to three-sentence toast. It is a good idea to have a few memorized quotes ready that can be woven into a short, short toast.

Here is to those who’ve seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can’t tell the difference. May you live for as long as you want, and never want for as long as you live! May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. May the best of your past be the worse of your future. May you always lie, cheat, and steal. Lie beside the one you love, cheat the devil, and steal away from bad company. Here’s to friends and family who know us well but love us just the same. Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast.

“Here’s to that long straight piece in Tetris.”

Toast Etiquette

How Do You Hold the Glass?

Both wine and champagne glasses should be held by the stem, not by the bowl. “You should always hold the glass by the stem, no matter what the shape or size of the glass or the type of wine,” says Michael Greenlee, the sommelier and wine director of Gotham Bar and Grill, in New York City. “The most common mistake I see in restaurants and at dinner parties is people holding a wineglass by the bowl.”

Three reasons to hold the glass by the stem:

• The glass is pretty; you don’t want your fingerprints to mess it up.
• Putting your hand on the glass would block seeing the color of the wine or block your ability to watch the bubbles dance in the champagne.
• White wine and champagne are chilled, and red wine is served a room temperature. The temperature influences the taste and your hands on the glass will warm up the beverage and change it from its optimal temperature.

What Do You Do When Listening to a Toast?

Those who are listening to someone being toasted should hold their glass when the toast is being made. At the end of the toast, listeners should raise their glasses, tilt the glass towards the person being toasted, and then take a sip.

What Do You Do If You Are the One Being Toasted?

When you are being toasted, you should sit and listen. Smile and nod to let the person toasting know you are listening. You should not hold or lift your glass. Once the toast is over and everyone has had a sip, then you may nod and/or say, “Thank You.” One of the more common questions I get is, “Do I drink to myself?” and the answer is no, you do not drink to yourself.

Should We Clink our Glasses?

Check five different etiquette specialists and you will get five different answers. Some groups clink and some groups don’t clink. It is best to take your lead from those with the highest power of those in the center of the event. For example, if you have dinner with your co-workers and your boss is present, see what the boss does. If you are at a wedding, see what the head table does and copy.

The larger the group, the less likely there will be glass touching because it is difficult to touch everyone’s glasses. If you are in a clinking group, when you touch the bowl of the glasses together, you should always look them in the eye and smile.

“As with many of our food traditions, the clinking of glasses traces its root to the health and safety of the drinker. In this case, it goes back to the tendency of nobles to kill each other off by poisoning their food! Wine was very commonly drunk during medieval days because it was one of the only safe liquids available. Water was often polluted, and milk was both useful for other things and thought to be for children only. As the wine was often full of sediment, a poison was easily introduced into it. To prove that his wine was safe, the host would pour a bit of his guest’s wine into his own glass and drink it first, to prove it was safe. If the guest trusted his host, however, he would merely clink his flagon against that of his host’s when his host offered his cup for the sample. The ‘clink’ (or perhaps ‘clunk’ back then, since wood or metal was more common for drinking vessels) was a sign of trust and honesty.” Text from Wineintro. Clinking of Wine Glasses and Toasts. Retrieved March 28, 2008, from http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html

Toasting Rules

Hold up your glass while giving a toast.

Never toast with an empty glass, it is considered bad luck.

Always hold the glass by the stem.

Avoid getting the beautiful glasses smudged. That means, not touching the bowl. It also means sipping from the same place on the glass.

Always drink to the person being toasted. If you don’t take a sip then it means that you disagree with the nice things that were said about the person. If you are full of liquid or prefer not to sip the alcohol, just put your lips to the glass.

If you oversee the filling of the glasses, hold the wine bottle near the bottom and only fill glasses halfway up to give the wine room to breathe. Always offer wine to others before pouring your own wine.

In some regions, people will gently use a knife to tap the glass to bring the group to attention.

At some weddings, the quests may tap their glasses to mean the bride and groom should kiss.

Brainstorming About Your Person

Read through these questions and try to answer them about your person. Not all the questions will relate, and that is OK. That question may trigger an unrelated memory that you can use.

What is the story of the two of you as children? What is the first memory you have of this person? How did you meet? What is the story of the two of you as teens? What is the story of the two of you as adults? What is an adventure you had together? When did you do something involving this person that didn’t work out as planned? What is a story that is often told about this person? What is a struggle this person has overcome of you overcame together? What story will history remember about this person? What story will you tell your kids one day? Why is this person special to you in a way that no one else knows? When did you and this person make a difficult situation fun? How have you seen them grow?

What do they collect? What are their hobbies? What types of things are important to them? (Pets, cars, shoes) What are they known for having? (Name brand clothes, a great boat) What does their house/car/backpack say about them? What do you have of theirs that means a lot to you? How is their favorite movie, favorite superhero, favorite song a reflection of them?

What are the physical characteristics that become part of their persona (Tall, big feet, curly hair)? What are they known for emotionally (being kind, being passionate, being stubborn)? What are the phrases they say often? What are they famous for? (Cooking, getting lost)

Relationship

How did you meet? What has kept your relationship with this person going? What has been the highlight of the relationship? What do their friends say about them?

Wedding Toast

When and how did they meet? What were your first impressions of them as a couple? What did your friend say about the first time they met? If you were given three wishes for them as a couple, what would they be?

Toast Speech Samples from College Students Toasting Other College Students

To Blake who has taught us the importance of enjoying life to the fullest, whether fly fishing or spending time with loved ones. You’re a man of great humor. You’re a man who has brought us all to tears with your Tommy Boy impression. You’re a man who embodies the word “chill” Every time I would look over in class, you would be just sitting back and smiling. You were always a great person to make a speech to, because even if the speech was bad, we could look over and you’d still be smiling.

Today, I would like to raise my glass (raise your glass) to by the far the most gifted athlete in our class. She showed us what it takes to be a student athlete at the University of Arkansas. She opened up her heart and shared the stories about her mother with us. I know we were all touched. She taught us how to improve our puts and she taught us that golf can be fun. We learned that even the best athletes get nervous sometimes. In the words of Roy, tin cup, McEvoy, “I hit it again because that shot was a defining moment, and when a defining moment comes along, you define the moment… or the moment defines you.” To Ana, may you always define the moment and not let it define you!

I ask students to toast their classmates and to give reference to things that student has said or done in class, consider the following speech ending that references three of the student’s former speeches.

Sean here this is to you for all you have given us. May your bike never fail you (reference to speech on changing a tire), May your sense of nature keep you wandering (reference to speech on camping) and may your lessons live on, in this lifetime and the next (reference to speech on missionary work).

To someone who Has opened her heart and mind to this class With hopes that they too will join in her efforts to serve God and humanity To someone who Has made us all feel as if her papaw was our own Pitching and swinging the bat To someone who Has made each person in this class believe As if we can make a difference in the world One Krispy Kreme doughnut at a time Anne Frank said, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment Before starting to improve the world. “ To Haley, we toast to you (raise glass) For you have already begun improving the world.

Best Man Toasts the Couple by Joe Burlingame

Thank you all for gathering here tonight on the beautiful occasion to celebrate the love of Korey and Paola. My name is Joe Burlingame and I know many of you have traveled from long distances to be here and we are so grateful that y’all came. Since the lovely maid of honor spoke so highly of Paola I am going to try and make Korey seem like he is worthy.

When Korey told me that things were getting serious and that he was going to propose,

My initial reaction was woah Korey

I am flattered but I am perfectly content with being fraternity brothers, but everybody knew he was talking about Paola. Korey and I’s relationship started about 5 years ago And to this day I remember my first impression–it was like any first impression when we first meet an accounting major/// Aw—wk–kward.

Our friendship though took off like a rocket ship, and before we knew it we were roommates up to the time he betrayed me and found a permanent roommate. I won’t say any names but she is in this room.

In the 4 years, I lived with Korey, I have found 3 things that make him the perfect roommate.

First, Korey loves spontaneous trips. Korey and I went to 6-7 concerts one semester. We only bought tickets in advance for one and that was because it was the one band I wanted to go see. The others were concerts that Korey had caught wind of last-minute and persuaded me to go. One concert, in particular, was the night of Korey and Paola’s first date. They had gone and got coffee and macaroons I think it was maybe an hour-long date. When he got back Korey talked about it as if they had spent a year with each other. Paola I knew then that you had to be special if you had him talking about you for that long.

Second, Korey is a humble servant. Korey if there is a characteristic that describes you it is being a humble servant. I would complain about how hot it was mowing our yard, but you would not only mow ours but our elderly neighbor’s yard as well. You thought you were invisible– I saw it all. Whether it be cleaning dishes, cooking, or constantly going to our neighbors to see if they needed anything done, you were a servant and I was thankful for you. Paola I am jealous, I am now going to have to clean and cook for myself now. Nik Birchfield said it best “Korey doesn’t just talk the talk but walks the walk”

Lastly, Korey is someone who is thoughtful. I remember when we first moved in Korey brought in this huge water jug of change and a little wooden chest, I asked what the heck is that for. He responded with “Man I plan on getting married and in order to get married you need a ring.” I was blown away– I never would have thought of that.

Paola I regret that we never really got to hang out. When I saw Korey take that jug of bills and came back with a ring and he started describing why he picked this specific ring out because it matched your characteristics I knew we would be friends.

Korey and I were roommates the night before he was going to pop the question. He practiced a lot with what he was going to say. I know because he practiced on me. I don’t know how many times we practiced the scenario but I could tell you that the words he was going to say to you were heartfelt and genuine

Paola I was able to have the perfect roommate for a few years, but now you will have the perfect roommate for life.

To Paola and Korey!

Hilarious Father of the Bride Toast

This toast is a good example of how to tell a funny story in a speech. This father’s story is brilliant, and his long pauses are perfect for this speech. He goes from having you crying from laughter to tearing up with sentiment.

Atlasobscura. Raise a glass to our readers’ favorite drinking toasts. https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/best-drinking-toasts-and-cheers

Chidi-Ogbonna, K. (2018). Nine wine etiquette habits to know. https://thefinestitallianwine.com

Real Simple (n.d.). From how to hold a wine glass http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/content/0,21770,712709,00.html

Revelations Video. The most hilarious father of the bride toast.[Video] YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOKduRf7o4k Standard YouTube License.

Wineintro. (2008). Clinking of wine glasses and toasts. http://www.wineintro.com/champagne/clinkglass.html

Media Attributions

• Toasting © Zan is licensed under a CC BY (Attribution) license
• holding wine glass is licensed under a CC0 (Creative Commons Zero) license

Module 11: Speaking to Entertain and for Special Occasions

Learning objectives.

Define the characteristics of a toast.

If you’ve found this page after a panicked web search of “how to give a wedding toast when you just got asked to be the maid of honor and you’re terrified of public speaking,” welcome. You’ve landed in the middle of an entire textbook on public speaking. We’ll try to get you up to speed.

Wedding Toasts

Wedding toasts often loom large in our imagination as we think about public speaking situations. This perception might be because wedding toasts represent a distinctive (and potentially intimidating) combination of the elements of public speaking we’ve worked on throughout this course. The elements of public speaking for a wedding toast are:

• The father of the bride, who paid for the wedding, welcomes the guests, leads a toast to absent friends and family, and toasts the bride and groom.
• The groom thanks the hosts, thanks the guests for attending and for their gifts, says some loving words about his new wife, and offers a toast to the bridesmaids.
• The best man tells some funny stories about the groom, then says some heartfelt words before toasting the couple or the parents of the couple.
• Introduction : Introduce yourself. Then start your lead-in. You can start with a joke or a funny anecdote, though be sure to pay attention to the appropriateness of your humor for the crowd. Self-deprecatory humor might work well here, as does meta-humor (after all, the crowd expects you to say and do certain things; you can work with that). You can also say something sincere or heartfelt; a wedding toast doesn’t have to be funny, but it does have to be genuine.
• Body : Here’s where you need to think about the message you’re trying to get across. What do you want this audience to know about these people? When preparing your toast, brainstorm qualities or characteristics of the couple that you want to communicate. When you’ve chosen a few top qualities, think in terms of  evidence . If you say the groom is kind and thoughtful, what are examples of that? Is there a story you can tell? Make sure you talk about both of the people being married, even if you know one of them better than the other. Stories and anecdotes are often the body of a wedding toast, but remember: they’re there as supporting material to prove your claim: that these excellent people are great for each other and have the love and support of their family and friends.

• Delivery : Since wedding toasts take place amidst a lot of other moving parts, it’s key to get into it and out of it as seamlessly as possible. When it’s your turn to speak, be ready to go without hesitation or technical difficulties. You may be using a microphone, in which case you should try to test it out beforehand if possible to find the right volume and distance. Above all, practice before the event! It’s usually best to speak extemporaneously, memorizing only the key points of the speech and any lines that need to be delivered word for word (such as quotes).

To Watch: Christopher Conroy, Wedding toast

You can view the transcript for “The BEST (worst) Wedding Toast EVER!” here (opens in new window) .

What to watch for:

In this wedding toast, Conroy sticks to a winning formula:

• Some gentle jokes, largely self-deprecating, with some meta-humor about bad wedding-speech jokes: “I’ve been preparing this toast for a long time. I hope it’s not too burnt! . . . pause for laughter . . .”
• A story about how the couple met: “I was actually with Vinny the very first time we met Danielle.”
• Complimentary words about the characteristics of the couple (including supporting evidence): “Vinny and Danielle are the kindest, most compassionate, and most genuine friends I have. I know firsthand that when you are down and out, they’re the people that will pick you up and get you back on your feet.”
• A description of the couple as a couple: “I know how they interact. . . . I’m kind of an expert on it. . . . I know that they really do love each other.”
• Uplifting words: “I also know that love is the only thing in this life that is truly worth fighting for.”
• A wish: “I wish you guys nothing but the best in this new journey.”

Other kinds of toasts:

At many formal dinners or dinner gatherings, it may be expected to give toasts. The nature of these toasts will be different depending on the situation, but what they have in common is that you say them while holding up a glass (and usually while your audience does too), which means that a toast should be short (this isn’t an endurance test!). Don’t put down the glass or drink from it before the toast is over; when it is, drink from the glass. Different cultures and contexts may have various customs around toasts. For instance, in some cultures it’s important to look people in the eye while clinking glasses. In others, one should drink everything in one’s glass after the toast. Some avoid toasting with water. And so on. If you’re at a formal dinner, it’s a good idea to know what the toasting protocols might involve.

Usually, toasts end with some kind of wish for the future, such as “May you live for as long as you want, and never want for as long as you live!” If you find yourself at a lot of formal dinners, it can be wise to memorize a go-to toast or two, whether heartfelt (“May your house always be too small to hold all our friends”) or humorous (“May your children have wealthy parents”).

• Toast. Authored by : gail. Located at : https://flic.kr/p/2gk2kqr . License : CC BY-SA: Attribution-ShareAlike
• Wedding reception. Authored by : rocksee. Located at : https://flic.kr/p/5dVuTV . License : CC BY: Attribution
• The BEST (worst) Wedding Toast EVER!. Authored by : Christopher Conroy. Located at : https://youtu.be/LiJ_-tByGkk . License : Other . License Terms : Standard YouTube License
• Toasts. Authored by : Patricia Atkinson with Lumen Learning. License : CC BY: Attribution

How to Give a Memorable Toast for Any Occasion

Karen is a freelance writer with more than 25 years of experience writing for an array of publications, including authoring several books.

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When you offer a toast at a public occasion, it's important to speak from the heart in a manner that suits the occasion and engages the audience. Preparation - but not over practicing - is key to making the perfect, impressive toast.

Anatomy of an Impressive Toast

While your toast can be anything you want it to be, the following outline can help you organize your thoughts into a cohesive toast.

• Wedding Toast Examples for a Speech They'll Remember
• Free Wedding Speech Examples to Celebrate the Big Day
• Baby Shower Speech Examples to Make Hosting & Toasting a Breeze

Stand Up and With Your Glass

Whether you've been asked ahead of time to make a toast or have decided to do it in the spur of the moment, the first step to making a toast is to stand up and hold your glass in front of you. You may wish to clink your knife gently on the side of a glass to get people's attention, or you can stand up, project (without shouting), and say, "I'd like to make a toast."

Pause for a Moment

Now, you need to wait for a moment to ensure you have everyone's attention. Give them time to stop their conversations and focus on you.

Make the Toast About the Person or Event

Lead by mentioning the reason for the toast or the focus of the toast. Avoid saying things about you - such as "I'm so happy for..." or "I'm the brother of the bride and I want to..." Some examples of powerful toast lead-ins for different occasions follow.

• Wedding: "Today we're here to share in Amy's and Malik's joy as they begin their life together as husband and wife,"
• Retirement: "Anup may be retiring, but before he goes, I'd like to share a story about his time at our company,"
• Holiday gathering: "Thanksgiving is such a joyous occasion, let's take a moment to reflect on the many blessings our family has received in the past year."

Engage Listeners With a Hook

After stating the purpose of your toast, include a "hook" engage listeners. This may be a joke or a promise of an anecdote about the person or event you are toasting. Make sure it's just a sentence or two. The hook may be the same as your introductory statement, or it may be a follow-up statement to your introductory statement. For example:

• Wedding: "When Amy and I were roommates in college, we would like awake at night discussing her perfect man."
• Retirement: "As everyone who has ever worked with Anup likely knows, he has a very problematic relationship with the copy machine."
• Holiday gathering: "One of the main things that blesses us this year is that dad didn't drop the cooked turkey the garage behind the car on the way to grandma's house."

Offer an Anecdote or Two Appropriate to the Situation

Then, follow your hook with the promised anecdote. Keep it relatively short, but also make it descriptive, sharing the highlights of the anecdote. Your anecdote can be any of the following:

• Sentimental
• Something that shows the character of the person you're toasting

Stick to just one or two anecdotes so your toast isn't too long. Between 1 and 5 minutes is ideal for a toast depending on the occasion.

Say Something Nice About the Person/People or Occasion

After your anecdote(s), wind up by saying something nice about the person, people, or occasion you're toasting, tying it into to the rest of the toast. For example:

• Wedding: "Amy's perfect man turned out to be Malik, and he makes her so happy! I wish you many years of love and joy as you enter your new life together as husband and wife."
• Retirement: "So while we will enjoy having a copy machine that doesn't break nearly as often now, we will miss hearing Anup's dad puns and getting caught up in his enthusiasm for his great ideas. Anup, your presence will be deeply missed, but we wish you well as you travel the world in your retirement."
• Holiday gathering: "We're excited to eat turkey this year without any gravel from the garage in it. And we're overjoyed to be blessed with the presence of our loved ones here at this table as we gather for a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner."

Then, raise your glass towards the person or people you're toasting and invite everyone else to raise theirs as well. Look at the person and say, "Cheers!" or something similar. For example:

• Wedding: "So raise your glass to Amy and Malik to wish them many years of health, happiness, love, and prosperity. Cheers!"
• Retirement: "Please everyone raise your glass to Anup. We wish you a long, beautiful, and happy retirement. Cheers!"
• Holiday gathering: "I invite you to raise your glass to our family and give thanks for our many blessings. Cheers!"

Tips for Giving Great Toasts

The following tips can help you make a great toast.

Avoid Risqué Jokes and Embarrassing Stories

Toasts are meant to celebrate people and occasions. And while you can tell humorous stories about your subject or event, avoid telling cringeworthy stories that will make listeners or the subject of your toast uncomfortable. Also avoid sharing any information that might be considered private or TMI (too much information), betraying a confidence, or telling risqué or dirty jokes.

Employ Sensory Language to Draw in Listeners

When sharing your anecdote, use sensory language to make the story more interesting. In other words, offer a few details about how things looked, smelled, tasted, sounded, or felt. These small details can make your story more compelling.

Use Family-Friendly Language

Consider your audience when you're giving a toast. It's best to use family-friendly language and avoid swearing or offering overly graphic descriptions or anecdotes.

Make Eye Contact

Making eye contact strengthens your connection with the audience while making you look comfortable and appear more engaging. Make eye contact with both the person or people you're toasting and the people listening to your toast. Try to make brief eye contact with each person or group of people in turn, but don't linger overly long or it can become uncomfortable.

If you're in a large crowd and don't have the benefit of a microphone, you're going to need to project. Stand up straight, take deep breaths, and speak clearly and not too quickly. Be sure you enunciate. It's also okay to ask as you begin to speak, "Can everyone hear me okay?" and then modulate your voice based on the feedback you receive.

Keep It Short

Few people wish to sit through a ten-minute toast, so keep your speech relatively brief. Typically, five minutes or fewer is ideal for a toast, which gives you time for your introduction and hook, one or two anecdotes, your closing statement, and the cheers.

If you have advance notice you'll be making a toast, plan it ahead of time and practice it a few times (without notes) so you know your opening and hook, the broad outline of the anecdote(s) you plan to share, and your final sentiments. Don't read your toast as you give it or over-rehearse so you sound stiff or overly formal. Having the broad strokes of what you are going to say in place will also help you appear more relaxed and confident as you give the toast while allowing you some flexibility to adapt when you're actually giving the toast.

Examples of Good Toasts

One of the best ways to get a feel for a great toast is to find examples of them. The following examples can help as you plan your toast.

• Toasts are common at weddings. These free wedding toasts should give you some ideas.
• You can also bring humor into your wedding toast .
• You may also wish to make a toast at a wedding rehearsal dinner .
• Engagement parties are also toasting occasions.
• Celebrate a pending birth with creative baby shower toasts .
• Give thanks for your blessings with Thanksgiving toasts .
• Celebrate milestone wedding anniversaries with a toast .
• Toast your co-worker upon their retirement.

Raise Your Glass!

Fear of public speaking (glossophobia) is a common phobia. One of the best ways to overcome it is with preparation and experience. Toasting is a great way to gain some practice in public speaking because it's usually for a friendly and familiar audience, and it's a relatively short talk. So the next time someone asks you to give a toast, plan, prepare, and raise your glass to make the perfect impressive toast.

Have you been at an event where somebody had to give a toast?

Does this thought seem scary to you because you feel unsure of what you should say?

If you are at a dinner or party , what do you do when somebody asks you to give a toast?

This could happen, especially at this time of year and you want to be prepared.

We’ll help you with simple steps in how to give a toast, and how to make it something very positive.

Toasts Are Common To Tie People Together

This time of year is all about being together with family and friends.

You will often find that when you are with a group of people, giving a toast is a very common occurrence.

Giving a toast is taking your English to another level.

We’re going to help you to master the skill of giving a toast and make it great.

It’s all in what you say and how you deliver the message.

You want to get people’s attention by maybe clinking your fork on the side of the glass.

Then if you follow the three steps below, it will help you to make it a successful toast.

Make sure you understand every word you hear on All Ears English. Bring your English to the advanced level with new vocabulary and natural expressions. Get the transcripts from today’s episode. Learn to speak naturally with the American accent. Click here to subscribe to the transcripts and save 50%  

Three Steps To Giving A Good Toast

If you find yourself in this situation of having to give a toast, you want to follow these three steps.

Take a deep breath, be confident and positive, and use these three steps to give you the framework of a great toast.

• Start by thanking your host : “First of all I’d like to start by thanking our gracious host.” Say who you are thanking and why. Maybe thank them for having you in their home or for hosting this party. Showing your gratitude is a humble and good way to start off a toast. Complimenting others is a wonderful start and it takes the focus off of you too. You are facilitating the chance to thank the hosts and put the spotlight on them. It’s a winning start to a great toast. You can thank them for organizing for the food, or even the environment like their home.
• Recognize people when appropriate : In a more informal environment, you could choose one or two people to congratulate on something big that they did that year. It could be a promotion or it could be having a baby. It’s an honor to be recognized, and so this works really well. Know your audience and who you are talking to. Be tactful about what you are saying and you keep it positive. It’s another great way to compliment people and to turn it into a positive event.
• Talk about the future : Talk about the plans for the future with your company or with the group that you are with. Look for the thing that you share with the people you are with. Again know your audience, but it’s looking towards the future in a positive way. You may share a common goal or you may just be living the future together. It gives everyone something positive and it gives you something to talk about after the toast is over. You want to close it by saying “here’s to us and to the future.” You want to close it up and then clink glasses. it’s a great way to end things and also open it up to others to discuss the plans for the future moving forward.

If you follow these three steps and remain positive, you will give an amazing toast.

There may very well come a time where you are asked to give a toast, especially at this time of year.

You want to be prepared to make it a toast that makes everyone happy.

If you follow these three tips, it can make for a toast that is positive and uplifting.

This is a great way to take your English to the next level and to create something meaningful and memorable for your audience.

This is how you make connections and memories all at the same time!

If you have any questions, please leave them below in the comments section.

We’ll get back to you as soon as we can.

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How to Propose a Toast to Commemorate and Celebrate

There are occasions when you may be asked to say a few words to commemorate an event or a person. Giving a speech at such an occasion, especially if the mood is festive, would not only be entirely unwelcome and a bore but also not appropriate for the context.

So, what can you do? Give a toast of course!

By definition, proposing a toast involves wishing a person or people future success, happiness and health and asking others to raise their glasses and join in a drink.

Toasts are diverse in that they can be given at retirement parties , awards dinners, weddings, birthdays, thanksgiving ceremonies and engagement parties, among others. They can be made over festive beverages such as wine, sparkling cider or champagne, as well as any other beverages.

If you are ever called upon to share a few words to add a personal touch to any social gathering, here are a few tips to help you propose a toast that will not only mark the special occasion but also be memorable.

Before we look at them though, do you know what a toast comprises of?

Structure of a Toast

A toast is made up of:

• The Greeting

Here you’ll stand and ask the audience to stand (not compulsory) and fill their glasses, after which, you get to address them.

• The Proposal

Here, you’ll raise your glass and give your proposal. This may be something along the lines of, “I would like to propose a toast…”

This, just like in a speech, is the most important part. It should be made up of a few sentences that talk about the persons in question.

This is where you pay homage to the toast’s subject. This could be something along the lines of, “Please join me in a toast to…”

• The Declaration

This represents the climax, which honors the subject of the toast and summarizes the said toast. After this, drinks can then be taken.

We can now look at: 

Tips on Preparing for a Toast

We will begin by looking at what you should do in preparation for the toast.

Plan your toast in advance

Say you’ve been chosen to give a toast as the best man at your brother’s wedding, would you prefer to not prepare and fumble on the big day, thus disappointing him or plan what you’ll say in advance, thus allowing you to confidently relay a heartfelt message to the newlyweds?

I think everyone would prefer the latter, which is why it would be immeasurably better to prepare in advance .

Putting some thought to what you’ll say when giving a toast not only makes you sound sincerer but also prevents you from rambling on.

Pro-Tip: A good basis for planning a toast would be to ask yourself:

• What/who is being toasted?
• What is the reason for the toast?
• What type of event will the toast be given at?
• Who will be in attendance?

Choose what format you’ll use

Here, you can decide whether to give a classic set toast or write up an original toast from scratch.

You should keep in mind though that the best kind of toast is one which merges an original introduction that talks about the attendees and the occasion its being presented in, with a classic toast.

Ever heard of a simple three-point structure?

This structure allows you to make use of any three values or qualities that have importance in the lives of your friends and family.

After deciding on the qualities you’ll be focusing on, illustrate each quality with a story or an event from the past, to help deliver your message to your audience.

Choose being sincere over being humorous

When drafting a toast , it’s better to be sincere rather than try to be funny.

Humor isn’t easy to deliver well, particularly with a diverse and large crowd. So instead, include sincere tidbits in your toast.

Additionally, you should note that in comparison with an ill attempt at humor, you can never go wrong with a sincere toast, which is more likely to be remembered.

Make use of notes

Planning in advance may also require you to write your key message down, and while you may be tempted to scribble this onto any piece of paper that on hand, don’t.

Instead, you can use a 3x5 card to write your notes on, tidily. Ensure that your writing is bold and large, to allow you to read your words more easily.

If you usually use glasses to read, try practicing reading the notes with your glasses on. This will ensure that you deliver your toast smoothly.

Keep your toast short

While planning your toast, you should remember to keep it short. Remember, it’s a celebration, and no one wants to hear you talk for over 10 minutes when they could be having a good time relaxing and enjoying themselves.

Therefore, keep it anywhere between under a minute to a couple of minutes but try to not go over five minutes.

Pro-Tip: Droning on diverts the audience’s attention. You should therefore try speaking in short sentences.

When Giving a Toast

On the day of the celebration, when giving your toast, you should:

Before beginning, make your intentions known 

Being party to a large gathering or party may make it difficult to know the right time to make your toast.

So, how can you get everybody’s attention?

You can wait until everyone else has gotten their food, as most if not all individuals will be seated, before beginning.

Alternatively, you can raise your glass to shoulder level and say something like, “If I can have everyone’s attention.”

Please do not try clanging your glass with a utensil, as it may break the glass and it isn’t very tasteful.

Pro-Tip: Ensure you make your intentions clear using your words.

Begin with the obvious

When you’ve gathered together, either with your work colleagues or your family for a celebration, you’ll most likely be sharing the same physical space with your audience.

Despite experiencing the same setting, each individual in the space is thinking of different things in their mind. Therefore, as the toast maker or the master of ceremony, your first task before giving your toast would be to connect with your audience .

The best and easiest way to establish this connection would be talk about why you’ve all gathered together to begin with.

Beginning with the obvious allows everyone to share the same mental space. By giving voice to the shared experience, you forge a feeling of unity which allows you to bring the audience together.

Related: How to Start a Speech to Engage Your Audience

Share something about yourself

Now that your audience is thinking about the same thing, telling them a short story about yourself that’s relevant to the situation will help consolidate their focus on you.

By revealing something personal about yourself, you establish trust. This allows your audience to be more open to what you have to say and feel open positively.

Acknowledge individuals who aren’t present

While giving a toast, make a point to acknowledge any dear friend or family member who’s missing from the celebration and note that you miss them.

Ensure you do this at the start of your toast, as it may make people solemn.

You can then move on to joyful accomplishments to help lighten the mood.

Show your emotions

Your friends and family will probably be emotional, especially if your toast mentions a loved one who passed away or couldn’t be there with you to celebrate.

If you do get emotional while delivering this part of the toast, remember that its totally normal and understandable.

However, if you’re concerned that you may not be able to deliver the toast well because of it, you can practice that part of your toast a few times.

Ensure that everyone is involved and has a drink

Toasts should be inclusive, which means no one should be left out, such as non-drinkers or children.

The aforementioned individuals can be provided with child-friendly or non-alcoholic drinks to ensure everyone is part of the toast.

Pro-Tip: Make sure everyone is present before giving your toast. This will prevent any interruption mid-toast or awkward glances shared when someone walks in during the climax of your toast.

Ensure you end your toast clearly

You may have been party to a toast that ended vaguely, which left the audience unsure whether the speaker had finished.

Therefore, when concluding your toast, you should make it clear and show everyone what they should do after.

You can say something to the effect of, “Raise your glass as we celebrate…” then guide your audience by clinking your glass with somebody next to you or taking a sip from your glass.

Pro-Tip: If it’s a large gathering, take a sip from your glass, as this is more preferable. However, if it’s a small gathering, clinking glasses is more celebratory.

Related: How to End a Speech Strongly and Memorably

We’ve talked about what you should do, now let’s look into what you shouldn’t do.

What NOT to Do When Giving a Toast

Do not drink before giving your toast.

If you’re feeling a little nervous before the toast, try to engage in some breathing exercises to help calm you down.

However, refrain from drinking alcohol to give you courage. This is because you may end up drinking too much and losing your judgement.

Additionally, you may lose track of time if you are inebriated.

So instead, lay off the alcohol till after you’ve given your toast.

Do not give your toast before the host

If you are not the event’s host , do not give a toast before they’ve given theirs.

However, if it’s been mutually agreed upon, then go for it.

If not, hold your horses!

Ensure you don’t embarrass anyone

If you’re toasting to a friend or family member at a wedding or celebrating someone’s achievement, you may be tempted to include an embarrassing tidbit in order to make the audience laugh.

This may make the person in question or the crowd, uncomfortable. So, unless you’re absolutely sure that your story’s a winner, remain on a positive note.

We’ve looked at what you should and shouldn’t do before and after giving your toast as well as during your delivery, which means that we can now look at a few toast examples.

Proposing a Toast (Examples)

A promotion toast.

Say for example, your colleague, Mark, is moving up the work ladder, what would you say to them?

A good example of a promotion toast would be,

“Mark, as you move up the ladder to success, may more doors open for you and may the opportunities be endless, to your promotion!”

A wedding toast

A wedding is a special and happy occasion. Additionally, it’s a time for merry making and generally having a good time. You should therefore ensure that your toast is short.

A wedding toast may be something like, “Ladies and gentlemen, will you please join me now in toasting to the lovely couple. We wish them all the happiness, wealth and health in the world, to the happy couple!”

An engagement toast

An engagement toast should focus on the couple’s relationship and their future together.

You can say something to the effect of, “For years, we’ve seen you two grow closer together and your relationship grow as well. As we celebrate this milestone, we wish you happiness and more blessings, to the happy couple!”

A college graduation toast

When giving this toast, giving a little background on the person may help the audience who aren’t as well acquainted with him to learn more about the said individual.

For instance, you could start by saying, “I would like to propose a toast to my daughter, Leila, who has finally graduated with her PhD in Physics from…Leila has been interested in rockets ever since she learned about astronauts and the moon landing...”

You can then end with the words, “I know you’re all anxious to congratulate Leila in her own way, so to Leila!”

Summing it up…On Giving Toasts

When giving a toast, keep in mind that delivering a short but heartfelt message is all that’s required of you. I hope these tips will help, Mazel tov!

You might also like:  14 Types of Speeches for All Occasions that You Should Master

Toast Speech

A toast is a short speech to honor someone or celebrate an event. In either case, the tone should be upbeat so that the person being honored feels special, and the event is properly remembered. The distinction is often made between a brief toast and a longer toast speech.

Going to a party, dinner, or casual night on the town? If so, the chances are excellent that there will be a ritual raising of the glasses in honor of someone or something. The toast may be to celebrate a wedding or someone’s birthday or anniversary, a holiday, a promotion, a new house, or a new baby. In the absence of a specific occasion, guests may honor their host or simply the occasion of getting together with a toast. People love to raise a toast!

As with any type of public speaking, there are ways to give a toast. You can simply say “to ________” and allow others to clink glasses in agreement. However, if you are hopeful of making a bigger impact with your toast, here is our ultimate guide to toasting.

Table of Contents

Why Is A Speech Called A Toast?

One theory that has credibility among the foodies of the world is that dried or spiced bread was added to wine to improve flavor and soak up some of the acidity. Now, one would be shocked to see a person throwing toast into glasses of wine or champagne.

What Is The Difference Between “Toast” And “Toast Speech”?

Often used interchangeably, there is a bit of a difference between a “toast” and a “toast speech.” Typically a toast is very brief, maybe even a few words. For example, when you hear a friend has recently gotten engaged, you might invite friends to raise a glass and simply say, “Congratulations!” or “To Ana and Brian.” Another common toast at the end of a week is to raise your glass and say, “Cheers!” Technically, that is a very short toast.

A toast speech says more about the person, couple, or event. Perhaps the most common event where toast speeches are given is at a wedding reception when some of those in the wedding party, such as the father of the bride , best man , or maid of honor , are invited to give a 3-5 minute speech about the happy couple that ends in a toast on their wedding day.

Toast speeches are common at retirement parties, anniversary gatherings, and other events, so do not assume these only occur at weddings.

What Is The Purpose Of A Toast?

The perfect toast can make a special day even more special, whether a wedding or an anniversary, promotion, or other event. It hopes to unify the group in some way, either by sharing inside jokes, special moments, or common memories or just by raising a glass in solidarity.

A great toast can range from very serious to incredibly silly. Whatever tone it takes, a truly excellent toast moves the emotions of those who are listening.

What 3 Characteristics Should Be In A Toast?

A toast has three parts:  identification, narration , and  magnification.   (Some people simply identify the parts as the introduction, body, and conclusion.)

Identification:  The introduction tells everyone listening about your relationship with the honored guest and helps them relate to what you are about to say.

Instead of saying, “I am thrilled to be giving the maid of honor speech for my best friend Amy,” one might say, “As all of us friends and loved ones of Amy are feeling, I am thrilled to be able to stand beside Amy on her special day.” The second pulls the entire group in like they are part of the conversation rather than focusing on the speech givers relationship.

Narration:  The narration is where you tell some short snippet stories that will engage the entire group and give them a glimpse into the person you are honoring. They can be funny, touching, or take listeners through a range of emotions. This is also the body of the speech.

Magnification:  You can zero in on a trait or characteristic of the person or event you are celebrating and embellish or magnify it. For example, as you tell stories, you can stress the perseverance of an employee, the kindness of a parent or teacher, or the devotion of the new couple to each other.

You will then bring the toast to a  conclusion.  No one wants to end things awkwardly, leaving everyone hanging. Figure out how you will wrap it up cleanly.

What Are The Three Types Of Toasts?

• Congratulations:  The congratulations toast is often given at weddings, anniversaries, or other celebrations. For these occasions, who will speak to the crowd of guests is usually decided in advance. Wedding speeches can be given by the best man, maid of honor, father of the bride, and others. If you want to give a toast, make sure that your toast will be welcome prior to giving it by clearing it with the host. Having person after person giving long toasts during a wedding reception or event can easily get out of hand.
•   Appreciation:  As you are toasting something extraordinary someone has done, a few words of appreciation may be in order. A daughter might offer a toast to her parents on her graduation day, thanking them for their love and support. A groom on his wedding day might raise a glass to his groomsmen for loving and supporting him and to his lovely new bride.
•   Remembrance:  Often given at a celebration of life, a remembrance toast is a beautiful way to memorialize someone. If you are giving a toast of remembrance, share happy or upbeat stories or memories that people will likely relate to. Save the risqué stories for another time, not a public venue.

How Do You Propose A Toast In A Speech?

If you are giving a toast speech, it is pretty obvious how to do it. For example, as a member of the wedding party at a wedding ceremony, if you get up, grab a microphone, and have your drink in your hand, people assume you are proposing a toast.

In some situations, it can be less apparent. Then, you can wait for a natural pause in the conversation and get the attention of those gathered. “Can I have your attention? I would like to propose a toast to (name) for (reason).” In these less formal situations, keep it short and sweet.

What Is Toast Speech and How Do I Prepare?

A toast speech is when you are tasked with saying words on someone’s big day. As you prepare your speech, here are some simple steps:

• Ask yourself: What type of toast is it?
•  Next, consider: Who will be attending (listening)?
•  Brainstorm some ideas. Perhaps the first time you met, or some funny stories to share. Jot down some notes.
•  Start your speech writing. Remember that often, less is more. You do not need to speak for a long time to give a touching and memorable speech.
•  Write your speech down on note cards. This is more effective than reading from a piece of paper or trusting your memory. Speaking from memory is an especially bad idea if you worry you might get emotional.
•  Practicing is especially important if you get nervous in front of groups.

What Are Some Examples Of Toasts?

You can offer up a toast on any special occasion. Some examples of toasts:

• Bridesmaid Toast : “To the happy couple. May your life together be filled with love and happy moments.”
• Best Man Speech:  The best man speech usually includes explaining who you are and your relationship to the groom, telling a few anecdotes about your relationship, and wishing your best friend a lifetime of love and happiness with his new spouse. Short but sweet toasts may state something like “Cheers to my best friend and his new best friend, his beautiful bride.”
• Parents of the Groom:  During the rehearsal dinner, the mother and father of the groom often act as hosts. One of them should thank everyone for coming and give a toast to the happy couple.
• Retirement Toasts:  “May you have more fun in retirement than we did together at work.” “Enjoy your retirement and endless honey-do lists.” “We hope you enjoy many beautiful days of bad golfing. Just remember, the worse day of golf is better than the best day at work.”
• Celebration of Life Toasts:  “There are some who bring a light so great to the world that even after they have gone, the light remains.” – Anonymous. “May the roads rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back, may the sunshine warm your face, And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.” -Traditional Irish Blessing

Why Do People Drink Alcohol When Toasting?

Toasting with alcohol dates back to Ancient Greece or Rome, when people would offer up wine to gods in exchange for good fortune. In modern times, people don’t insist on a toast made with alcohol. Whatever you happen to be drinking would suffice.

It is important to know that in some countries and cultures, it is considered bad taste to raise an empty glass during a toast. Do not need to drink your entire beverage during the toast, no matter what is in your glass. A simple sip is enough.

A former English teacher and currently an elementary principal in a rural school, Pam has honed her speaking skills in the classroom and before professional groups. Pam enjoys sharing her insights about public speaking almost as much as she enjoys running, which she does daily.

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Preparing a Speech

• Organize your speech in a logical sequence: opening, main points, summary.
• Practice and rehearse a speech frequently prior to delivering it. Ask friends to be your audience, or practice in front of a mirror. Be sure to use a timer to help you pace your speech.
• Become familiar with the stage or the setting where the speech will take place. Get a sense of the size of the stage, where any steps or obstacles might be, and where to enter and exit.
• Choose comfortable clothes to wear , but always maintain a professional appearance.
• Visual aids should fit a speech, whether they are funny, serious or technical. The main goal of visual aids is to help the audience understand what is being said, and reinforce the points of a speech in unique and interesting ways.

Helpful Resources

5 simple tips to better speechwriting.

An easy formula for figuring out what to say.

How to Build a Speech

Structure, stories, and word choice are all key to crafting a compelling presentation.

Speech Topics Are Everywhere

Pay attention to your life and the ideas will come.

10 Tips for more productive speech practice.

Building a Great Speech

Gain valuable tips for constructing a presentation from start to finish.

Quick Links

Tips for success.

Enjoy helpful resources that will aid you in improving your communication and help you build leadership skills.

Hybrid Meeting Tips

Learn how to run a successful hybrid meeting.

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