how to make an essay sound good

• Admissions Essays
• Books and Manuscripts
• Business Proofreading and Editing
• Dissertations
• Editing Tools
• Personal Statements
• Professional Writing
• Proofreading and Editing
• Thesis Proposals
• Uncategorized
• Working From Home
• Writing Fiction
• Writing Guides

8 Tips to Make Your Writing Sound More Formal

Get 400 words proofread and edited for free

Here at ProofreadingPal , we get a lot of requests to “elevate tone,” “create a scholarly tone,” and “increase the formality,” and even “help this sound smart.” Truthfully, we cannot make you sound “smart.” There is no substitute for good ideas, but we can (and do) help you elevate your tone and make you sound like a bona fide professional-thinking person. Here are some handy tricks that you can use yourself.

• Avoid colloquial, informal words

I see a surprisingly high number of formal academic/business works that include words that are better left for the water cooler or over a spirited discussion of the merits of Michael Bay movies. Some words to avoid are “totally” (use “completely” instead), “basically” (just avoid it), “impact” (mostly as a verb. You shouldn’t say “that will impact me”), “wicked” (only use this when chatting in online games), and “cool” (this word can mean just about anything. Try to choose a more precise word). In general, avoid all slang words (e.g., rad, YOLO, heaps, guv). If in doubt, see if you could imagine your professor or boss using it. If not, avoid it.

• Proper use of “such as”

In formal writing, never use “like.” It’s probably the most commonly used feature of speech today for certain populations, but avoid it in formal writing. Compare:

Animals, like bears and tigers, are interesting. Animals, such as bears and tigers, are interesting.

See how much more formal the second sounds?

Get a free sample proofread and edit for your document. Two professional proofreaders will proofread and edit your document.

• Avoid contractions

Contractions such as “can’t,” “didn’t,” and “I’m” are purely a product of verbal speech. We speak in contractions, but the convention is that, for formal, non-fiction writing, we shouldn’t write in them. When writing a formal business letter or an academic essay, forego contractions. It’s easy to use the Word FIND function to seek them out and destroy them.

• Avoid clichés

  Common Formality Mistakes

 This guide wouldn’t be complete without a look at some common practices that people use to make their writing more formal that don’t work. Here are a few practices we end up having to correct time and time again.

5. Don’t use passive voice . Passive voice is wordy, but being formal has nothing to do with wordiness.

• Don’t use thesaurus words you don’t fully understand. Big words don’t make your writing sound more formal, and this can backfire when you pick a word that doesn’t mean what you think it means. Take the sentence, “I saw a red dog walking down the street.” Easy, right? But using too much of a thesaurus might cause you to create: “I consulted a bloodshot mongrel marching down the highway,” which clearly is not what you intended.
• Don’t be wordy.

In all writing, wherever possible, brevity is the soul of wit. (Even I can’t avoid clichés, but at least that’s Shakespeare.) That means, always keep your prose as simple as possible . You may think, “The item that we are discussing could be the solution we are looking for to solve our problem,” sounds better because it’s long, but it’ll just annoy your reader. “That is the solution to our problem,” is better.

• Don’t mangle your sentences with third person.

Some professors still insist their students use third person to make their writing sound more formal, but (and always check with your professor first) style guides such as APA (and us) recommend you use first or second person to prevent passive voice and ambiguous language. Take: “The researcher applied a qualitative approach to the study” for example. Who is the researcher? You or someone else? This is ambiguous. It’s better to say, “I will take a qualitative approach to the study,” and this doesn’t sound any less formal.

Happy writing, and good luck.

Get a Free Sample

We will get your free sample back in three to six hours!

We proofread documents 24/7 Support 888-833-8385

Customer Service

Get in touch.

ProofreadingPal LLC 105 Iowa Ave., Ste. 214 Iowa City, IA 52240

Call Us 888-833-8385

Live Customer Support Hours Sun.–Thur. 8 a.m. to midnight CT Fri. and Sat. 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. CT

Submit Documents 24/7

© 2010 - 2020 ProofreadingPal LLC - All Rights Reserved.

The Vocative Comma Is Important, People!  ·  September 25, 2022

8 Tips to Make Your Writing Sound More Formal  ·  August 29, 2022

Worlde Tips and Tricks  ·  March 10, 2022

Worlde Tips and Tricks  ·  February 25, 2022

Top 4 Misspelled Words  ·  November 5, 2021

How to Capitalize Medicine  ·  October 1, 2021

How to Capitalize Medicine  ·  August 18, 2021

4 Fixes for Comment Boxes in MS Word  ·  January 17, 2021

How to Avoid Wordiness  ·  July 15, 2020

Write an Effective Blog Post  ·  June 9, 2020

Proofreading Services Rates  ·  April 19, 2020

How to Make Your Writing More Inclusive  ·  March 5, 2020

How to Make Your Writing More Inclusive  ·  February 27, 2020

Guide to Olde English  ·  December 27, 2019

Guide to Olde English  ·  December 26, 2019

Common Apostrophe Errors  ·  December 19, 2019

Guide to Olde English  ·  December 18, 2019

Capitalization in APA, Chicago, MLA, and AP  ·  August 27, 2019

Avoiding Common Capitalization Errors  ·  July 31, 2019

• SUGGESTED TOPICS
• The Magazine
• Newsletters
• Managing Yourself
• Managing Teams
• Work-life Balance
• The Big Idea
• Data & Visuals
• Reading Lists
• Case Selections
• HBR Learning
• Topic Feeds
• Account Settings
• Email Preferences

A (Very) Simple Way to Improve Your Writing

• Mark Rennella

It’s called the “one-idea rule” — and any level of writer can use it.

The “one idea” rule is a simple concept that can help you sharpen your writing, persuade others by presenting your argument in a clear, concise, and engaging way. What exactly does the rule say?

• Every component of a successful piece of writing should express only one idea.
• In persuasive writing, your “one idea” is often the argument or belief you are presenting to the reader. Once you identify what that argument is, the “one-idea rule” can help you develop, revise, and connect the various components of your writing.
• For instance, let’s say you’re writing an essay. There are three components you will be working with throughout your piece: the title, the paragraphs, and the sentences.
• Each of these parts should be dedicated to just one idea. The ideas are not identical, of course, but they’re all related. If done correctly, the smaller ideas (in sentences) all build (in paragraphs) to support the main point (suggested in the title).

Where your work meets your life. See more from Ascend here .

Most advice about writing looks like a long laundry list of “do’s and don’ts.” These lists can be helpful from time to time, but they’re hard to remember … and, therefore, hard to depend on when you’re having trouble putting your thoughts to paper. During my time in academia, teaching composition at the undergraduate and graduate levels, I saw many people struggle with this.

• MR Mark Rennella is Associate Editor at HBP and has published two books, Entrepreneurs, Managers, and Leaders and The Boston Cosmopolitans .  

Partner Center

Ultimate Guide to Writing Your College Essay

Tips for writing an effective college essay.

College admissions essays are an important part of your college application and gives you the chance to show colleges and universities your character and experiences. This guide will give you tips to write an effective college essay.

Want free help with your college essay?

UPchieve connects you with knowledgeable and friendly college advisors—online, 24/7, and completely free. Get 1:1 help brainstorming topics, outlining your essay, revising a draft, or editing grammar.

Writing a strong college admissions essay

Learn about the elements of a solid admissions essay.

Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Learn some of the most common mistakes made on college essays

Brainstorming tips for your college essay

Stuck on what to write your college essay about? Here are some exercises to help you get started.

How formal should the tone of your college essay be?

Learn how formal your college essay should be and get tips on how to bring out your natural voice.

Taking your college essay to the next level

Hear an admissions expert discuss the appropriate level of depth necessary in your college essay.

Student Stories

Student Story: Admissions essay about a formative experience

Get the perspective of a current college student on how he approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about personal identity

Get the perspective of a current college student on how she approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about community impact

Student story: admissions essay about a past mistake, how to write a college application essay, tips for writing an effective application essay, sample college essay 1 with feedback, sample college essay 2 with feedback.

This content is licensed by Khan Academy and is available for free at www.khanacademy.org.

• Writing Worksheets and Other Writing Resources

Nine Basic Ways to Improve Your Style in Academic Writing

About the slc.

• Our Mission and Core Values

1. Use ACTIVE VOICE

Don't say:  "The stepmother's house was cleaned by Cinderella."  (Passive.)

Say instead:  "Cinderella cleaned the stepmother's house."  (Active voice.)

Passive voice construction ("was cleaned") is reserved for those occasions where the "do-er" of the action is unknown.

Example:  "Prince Charming saw the glass slipper that was left behind."

2. Mix it up in terms of PUNCTUATION

Here are a few commonly misused punctuation marks that a lot of people aren't sure about:

The  semi-colon (;)  separates two complete sentences that are complementary.

Example:  "She was always covered in cinders from cleaning the fireplace; they called her Cinderella."

The  colon (:)  is used...

a. preceding a list.

Example:  "Before her stepmother awoke, Cinderella had three chores to complete: feeding the chickens, cooking breakfast, and doing the wash." 


b. as a sort of "drum roll," preceding some big revelation.

Example:  "One thing fueled the wicked stepmother's hatred for Cinderella: jealousy."  


The  dash (--)  is made by typing two hyphens (-). No spaces go in between the dash and the text. It is used...

a. to bracket off some explanatory information.

Example:  "Even Cinderella's stepsisters-who were not nearly as lovely or virtuous as Cinderella--were allowed to go to the ball." 


b. in the "drum roll" sense of the colon.

Example:  "Prince Charming would find this mystery lady--even if he had to put the slipper on every other girl in the kingdom."  


3. Vary your SENTENCE STRUCTURE

Don't say:  "Cinderella saw her fairy godmother appear. She was dressed in blue. She held a wand. The wand had a star on it. She was covered in sparkles. Cinderella was amazed. She asked who the woman was. The woman said, 'I am your fairy godmother.' She said she would get Cinderella a dress and a coach. She said she would help Cinderella go to the ball."

Instead say: (there are multiple correct ways to rewrite this, but here's one)  "Amazed, Cinderella watched as her fairy godmother appeared. The woman dressed in blue was covered in sparkles and carried a star-shaped wand. Cinderella asked the woman who she was, to which the woman replied, 'I am your fairy godmother." The fairy godmother would get Cinderella a dress and a coach; she would help Cinderella get to the ball."

4. Closely related to this, avoid CHOPPINESS

Don't say:  "She scrubbed the floors. They were dirty. She used a mop. She sighed sadly. It was as if she were a servant ."

Instead say : (again, there are multiple ways to do this)  "She scrubbed the dirty floors using a mop, as if she were a servant. She sighed sadly."

5. Avoid REPETITION.

Don't say:  "The stepsisters were jealous and envious ."

Instead say :  "The stepsisters were jealous ."  (...or envious. Pick one.)

6. Be CONCISE

Don't say:  "The mystery lady was one who every eligible man at the ball admired."

Instead say :  "Every eligible man at the ball admired the mystery lady."

7. Use the VOCABULARY that you know.

Don't always feel you have to use big words. It is always better to be clear and use simple language rather than showing off flashy words you aren't sure about and potentially misusing them. This is not to say, however, that you should settle for very weak vocabulary choices (like "bad" or "big" or "mad").

8. But also work on expanding your VOCABULARY.

When reading, look up words you don't know. See how they're used. Start a list. Incorporate them into your writing as you feel comfortable and as they are appropriate.

9. Keep language FORMAL and avoid language of everyday speech.

Don't say:  "Cinderella was mellow and good. She never let her stepmother get to her ."

Say instead:  "Cinderella was mild-mannered and kind. She never let her stepmother affect her high spirits ."

So, essentially, when it comes to working on style, there are three things to remember:

Empower yourself with knowledge..

Learn to punctuate correctly, enhance your vocabulary, etc. Give yourself all the tools there are so that you are free to...

...Mix it up!

Avoid repetition of words and sentence structure. Variance promotes good "flow" and is more interesting for your reader.

"Write to EXPRESS, not to IMPRESS."

Above all, write actively, clearly, and concisely.

Amber Carini

Student Learning Center, University of California, Berkeley

©2002 UC Regents

  This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Home › Study Tips › How To Write an Academic Essay? 9 Amazing Tips

How To Write an Academic Essay? 9 Amazing Tips

• Published October 19, 2021

Table of Contents

A regular question by our subscribers, so we’re here to answer ‘how to write an academic essay’?

In order to write a good academic essay and thesis, you must use appropriate language and concise words (and make sure there is plenty of proofreading and editing!).

It can be hard to ensure your essay follows proper conventions so we have compiled a list of things to do and things to avoid to make your essay sound more academic.

Remember before reading this, that you should be planning your essay, and important things to remember include: thesis and introduction, a well-structured body of text, research, and more.

These 9 important pieces of advice will help you be the author of a great academic paper.

1. Avoid Contractions

One question I always get, is should I use contractions? A contraction is a combination of words that have been shortened by either fusing the two words together or the omission of syllables from the two words.

For example, the words:

• aren’t
• don’t
• can’t

are all contractions.

Contractions are the enemy of a formal academic essay. Use them in your everyday conversation, but it is important to leave them out of your essay.

2. Avoid Clichés

Clichés are overused phrases or expressions such as “back to square one”, or “too good to be true”.

You can find hundreds of clichés and you should avoid them at all costs, as you do not need them.

Clichés are not always obvious, so you have to be thorough in your proofreading to ensure that no clichés have made their way into your academic essay.

In essence, avoid using flowery language and make sure you go through the process of knowing that your reader knows what you mean by writing plainly and clearly in your essay.

Advice: Write for the reader!

3. Avoid Colloquialisms and Informal Vocab

Your essay should steer clear of any colloquialisms or informal words, which will make it flow better for the reader. When writing essays be sure to avoid words that you use in everyday conversation such as, totally, basically, super and heaps.

Another important writing process is that you should never use slang or abbreviations in your academic essay. This is especially important when setting the tone in your thesis.

4. Use Academic Vocabulary

Ensure that you use academic vocabulary in your essay to strengthen your argument. Avoid words such as think, use and lots as these sound less academic. If you’re looking for more ways on writing better then our ‘ how to improve your writing ‘ may be of interest to you.

Use descriptive words to help your reader understand key points in your statements, introductions, body and conclusion.

When writing an academic essay, there is important to use academic words throughout the paper. By writing answers to the paper questions with a well-thought-out structure and use of academic vocab, then you’ll be well on your way to pleasing the reader of your paper.

5. Make Your Thesis or Argument Obvious

When writing an academic essay, one of the most important things is to ensure that your argument is clear, obvious and is clearly stated in plain language.

Use strong wording in your thesis or argument to persuade your reader. You can help this by using a careful structure in your essay plan, as well as writing clear coherent paragraphs and sections.

Your thesis statement should be in your introduction paragraph and reviewed in the proofreading process to ensure you have answered the question.

6. Ensure You Are Using the Right Point of View

The point of view in your paper depends on the type of essay you are writing and the task requirements. Always ensure that you are writing from the correct point of view when writing your essay.

Academic essays will either be written in the third person or first person. You should never write an essay in the second person.

7. Use Topic Sentences and Transitions

Each paragraph of your paper should begin with a topic sentence. A topic sentence introduces the main concept or idea of a paragraph.

Similar to topic sentences, transition sentences make your paper flow from one idea to another within a paragraph. Having these smooth transitions make your academic essay clearer and easier to read.

For instance, when editing your thesis you should make sure there is a topic sentence.

Are you looking to study English at university? Then you’ll love our top UK-ranked universities for English Literature .

8. Ensure Your Document is Properly Formatted

The way that your document should be formatted depends on the kind of essay you are writing. Be sure to check with your teacher about the formatting requirements for your essay.

As a standard formatting guide, you should always use a 12-point serif typeface and have a line spacing of 2.0.

Moreover, make sure you are proofread and go through the process of continually editing your essay. By making sure that your papers have coherent introductions (or thesis), a well-structured body, and a conclusion, as well as always answering the essay question, you’ll be well on your way to writing an academic essay.

You can always test your skills out in these exciting writing competitions for students which have some amazing prizes.

9. Make Sure You Are Using the Proper Referencing Guide

There are a number of academic referencing styles available for an essay. The academic referencing style you should use will depend on the type of essay you are writing, or the preference of the person marking it.

Be sure that you are using the correct referencing style as this will contribute to your essay looking and sounding more academic.

Finally, please remember…

Proofreading and editing are some of the most important parts to ensure that you have answered the question and satisfied the readers’ attention. By proofreading and editing multiple times, and even employing proofreading services (thanks Mum and Dad!), will lead to your essay sounding and reading in a more academic tone.

Each section should undergo meticulous proofreading, to ensure the correct words, advice, research, dates, and citations are used.

Motivated to learn how to write the best academic essays?

Are you a motivated 13-18-year-old student looking to get ahead of your competition? If you’re a talented writer looking to unlock the secrets to writing then you can attend our creative writing summer school .

We also have an amazing opportunity to be awarded with a 100% scholarship to our award-winning summer programmes. Click the following link if you’re interested in our essay competition ?

Related Content

Tackling homework anxiety: your guide to a calmer study life.

Have you ever read a report, article, or book, and wished that your writing sounded as good? All writers feel as though what they write is not nearly as good as works written by someone else. However, a few stylistic aspects set the great writers apart from the amateurs.

The stylistic aspects we are talking about are easy to learn. It is just learning alternatives to the way you may write now. Who knows what makes these styles sophisticated over any other way of writing; but in today's world, they are considered the better, more sophisticated way of writing, so it only benefits you to use them.

The first stylistic aspect of your writing that will make it sound more sophisticated is in your sentence structure. Two common structures that are attributed to amateur writers are in examples listed below:

Running to the store, she tripped and fell over a rock.

As she ran to the store, she tripped and fell over a rock.

Both the "as" and the "ing" construction are grammatically correct; however, they are constructions that are known to be used by newer, less experienced writers. The problem with using these is that they are lazy. Although they show action, they can be a shortcut used by the writer to show action as quickly and easily as possible, or they can be an unneeded distraction from the action that is taking place. Either way, they weaken your writing.

Use an alternative to these constructions, such as:

She tripped and fell over a rock on her way to the store.

Since "tripped" and "fell" are the verbs in this sentence, it is important to construct the sentence to show this. "On her way to the store" is simply what she was doing when she tripped and fell. It is not the action.

Another way to avoid looking like an amateur is to avoid using clichés. Clichés are expressions that are commonly used when speaking. For example: "Living life in the fast lane," or "not being worth a plugged nickel" are both worn-out clichés. They are used so often, they no longer mean anything when you use them in your writing. They are not adequate descriptions, and they do not show your readers anything except that you do not know how to be original.

Beware of other clichés that are not only over-used, they do not make any sense anyway. Editors and publishers particularly get tired of expressions such as "she tossed her head." When is the last time you saw anyone toss his or her head? How far did they toss it? While this may sound good to you as the writer, and you may think you are being clever, your descriptions should never rely on clichés or figures of speech that describe an impossible action.

Do not create clichéd characters, either. The computer geek with the pocket protector is a stereotype. He is clichéd. The characters that you create are individuals . Do not follow stereotypes or clichés when you create them. Instead, make them three-dimensional beings that are believable and unique. If you resort to using stereotypes and clichés, your characters will seem more like cartoon characters or bad parodies that are uninteresting and unbelievable. Nothing will turn your reader off more quickly than that.

There are so many clichés in the English language that it is impossible never to use one. You may find yourself in a position where you need to use a cliché to adequately describe a situation. However, before you just type out the cliché, try altering it a bit. Make it less familiar to the reader and tailor it to the situation you need it for. Look at the example below.

The fog was thicker than pea soup that night.

The fog was thicker than watered-down pea soup that night.

When we discuss dialogue avoid using "-ly" adverbs with your speaker attributions. These adverbs serve to tell the reader how something was said, but your dialogue and descriptions should show, instead. It is also easy for newer writers to use these adverbs in sentences to show action, as in the example below.

Angrily she set her coat on the couch.

This may be okay in a first draft because you convey the action taking place, but when you edit, weed out these adverbs. They tell. They do not show.

Try this instead:

She slung her coat onto the couch.

In the first example, the verb is weak and does little to show action, so the writer added an "-ly" adverb to try to strengthen it. However, it only weakened it even more. When you find yourself in a position where you feel that you need to use an "-ly" adverb, try using a stronger verb instead.

Of course, there are always exceptions. If using an "-ly" adverb is the only way that you can completely describe the action taking place, and you are using a strong verb already, then it is not unacceptable or unprofessional to use an adverb.

Nobody is going to tell you to quit using "-ly" adverbs altogether. What experts will tell you is that amateur writers use them frequently. Weed out as many as you can and replace them with stronger verbs. Keep your writing strong. Make sure it shows the action, and make sure you are not whimping out on showing action by using "shortcuts." The more you write using proper mechanics and advanced stylistic techniques, the less you will be inclined to make amateur mistakes. Before you know it, everything you write will come out sounding better than your best piece does right now.

Style is simply defined as the manner of "voice" that a writer uses to tell the audience what is going on. Style is evident in syntax and diction, as well as figures of speech, such as metaphors. With fiction, the style you use may be influenced by the era in which the story takes place, the setting, or the education or background of your narrator or characters.

In non-fiction and journalism, style may be partially dictated by style guides. Style guides give examples of acceptable uses of words, proper spellings, punctuation, and typography to be used when preparing work for publication. Writers use style guides, as do copy editors and proofreaders to ensure factual accuracy and consistency.

Making sure that your style is consistent throughout a body of work lends to the sophistication of your writing. If you have a character who talks with a southern twang early in the book, make sure it carries throughout the book. On the other hand, if you spell "judgement" (British English) in one place in a body of work, make sure you do not spell it as "judgment" (American English) later on. You can always create a style sheet to make note of things like this, so you do not forget when creating longer pieces or sequels.

A list of style guides is included below for your reference:

AIP Style Manual: For Guidance in Writing, Editing, and Preparing Physics

The AMA Style Guide for Business Writing

The AMS Author Handbook (Mathematics) Manual of Style: A Guide for Authors and Editors ( Medical editing and proofreading) The Associated Press Stylebook and Libel Manual (Journalism, non-fiction, and fiction as well) Geowriting: A Guide to Writing, Editing, and Printing in Earth Science

The Bluebook: A Uniform System of Citation (Law) The Chicago Manual of Style (Non-fiction, fiction) Scientific Style and Format: The CBE Manual for Authors, Editors, and Publishers The ACS Style Guide: A Manual for Authors and Editors A Style Manual for Citing Microform and Nonprint Media

Other Ways to Make Your Writing More Sophisticated

• Avoid using too many exclamation points to show emotion. It makes you seem as though you are insecure with the strength of your dialogue.
• Avoid using italics to put emphasis on words. They are not needed if your dialogue is strong.
• Avoid flowery, poetic figures of speech. Oftentimes, this pulls the reader out of the story. Use clear descriptions that apply to the scene. There is no need to try to impress anyone with your poetic ability unless you are writing poetry.
• Avoid a lot of profanity. Amateur writers use profanity for shock value and sophistication, but using it does not achieve either. If your character swears a lot, just make sure it fits with the scene. Otherwise, one profane word in a book has a lot more effect than a dozen on each page.

Substitutions and Poor Phrasing

There are hundreds of phrases that can enhance your writing, but sometimes writers err on the side of "wordiness." They use phrases they believe sound more formal, more interesting, or more unusual than common alternatives. Unfortunately, if these phrases are using more words than needed to get the point across, they just end up cluttering the sentence. Below are several examples of poor phrasing, along with better alternatives.

• Course Catalog
• Group Discounts
• Gift Certificates
• For Libraries
• CEU Verification
• Medical Terminology
• Accounting Course
• Writing Basics
• QuickBooks Training
• Proofreading Class
• Sensitivity Training
• Excel Certificate
• Teach Online
• Terms of Service
• Privacy Policy

Have a language expert improve your writing

Run a free plagiarism check in 10 minutes, generate accurate citations for free.

• Knowledge Base
• How to write an essay introduction | 4 steps & examples

How to Write an Essay Introduction | 4 Steps & Examples

Published on February 4, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on July 23, 2023.

A good introduction paragraph is an essential part of any academic essay . It sets up your argument and tells the reader what to expect.

The main goals of an introduction are to:

• Catch your reader’s attention.
• Give background on your topic.
• Present your thesis statement —the central point of your essay.

This introduction example is taken from our interactive essay example on the history of Braille.

The invention of Braille was a major turning point in the history of disability. The writing system of raised dots used by visually impaired people was developed by Louis Braille in nineteenth-century France. In a society that did not value disabled people in general, blindness was particularly stigmatized, and lack of access to reading and writing was a significant barrier to social participation. The idea of tactile reading was not entirely new, but existing methods based on sighted systems were difficult to learn and use. As the first writing system designed for blind people’s needs, Braille was a groundbreaking new accessibility tool. It not only provided practical benefits, but also helped change the cultural status of blindness. This essay begins by discussing the situation of blind people in nineteenth-century Europe. It then describes the invention of Braille and the gradual process of its acceptance within blind education. Subsequently, it explores the wide-ranging effects of this invention on blind people’s social and cultural lives.

Instantly correct all language mistakes in your text

Upload your document to correct all your mistakes in minutes

Table of contents

Step 1: hook your reader, step 2: give background information, step 3: present your thesis statement, step 4: map your essay’s structure, step 5: check and revise, more examples of essay introductions, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about the essay introduction.

Your first sentence sets the tone for the whole essay, so spend some time on writing an effective hook.

Avoid long, dense sentences—start with something clear, concise and catchy that will spark your reader’s curiosity.

The hook should lead the reader into your essay, giving a sense of the topic you’re writing about and why it’s interesting. Avoid overly broad claims or plain statements of fact.

Examples: Writing a good hook

Take a look at these examples of weak hooks and learn how to improve them.

• Braille was an extremely important invention.
• The invention of Braille was a major turning point in the history of disability.

The first sentence is a dry fact; the second sentence is more interesting, making a bold claim about exactly  why the topic is important.

• The internet is defined as “a global computer network providing a variety of information and communication facilities.”
• The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on the world of education.

Avoid using a dictionary definition as your hook, especially if it’s an obvious term that everyone knows. The improved example here is still broad, but it gives us a much clearer sense of what the essay will be about.

• Mary Shelley’s  Frankenstein is a famous book from the nineteenth century.
• Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein is often read as a crude cautionary tale about the dangers of scientific advancement.

Instead of just stating a fact that the reader already knows, the improved hook here tells us about the mainstream interpretation of the book, implying that this essay will offer a different interpretation.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Next, give your reader the context they need to understand your topic and argument. Depending on the subject of your essay, this might include:

• Historical, geographical, or social context
• An outline of the debate you’re addressing
• A summary of relevant theories or research about the topic
• Definitions of key terms

The information here should be broad but clearly focused and relevant to your argument. Don’t give too much detail—you can mention points that you will return to later, but save your evidence and interpretation for the main body of the essay.

How much space you need for background depends on your topic and the scope of your essay. In our Braille example, we take a few sentences to introduce the topic and sketch the social context that the essay will address:

Now it’s time to narrow your focus and show exactly what you want to say about the topic. This is your thesis statement —a sentence or two that sums up your overall argument.

This is the most important part of your introduction. A  good thesis isn’t just a statement of fact, but a claim that requires evidence and explanation.

The goal is to clearly convey your own position in a debate or your central point about a topic.

Particularly in longer essays, it’s helpful to end the introduction by signposting what will be covered in each part. Keep it concise and give your reader a clear sense of the direction your argument will take.

Receive feedback on language, structure, and formatting

Professional editors proofread and edit your paper by focusing on:

• Academic style
• Vague sentences
• Style consistency

See an example

As you research and write, your argument might change focus or direction as you learn more.

For this reason, it’s often a good idea to wait until later in the writing process before you write the introduction paragraph—it can even be the very last thing you write.

When you’ve finished writing the essay body and conclusion , you should return to the introduction and check that it matches the content of the essay.

It’s especially important to make sure your thesis statement accurately represents what you do in the essay. If your argument has gone in a different direction than planned, tweak your thesis statement to match what you actually say.

To polish your writing, you can use something like a paraphrasing tool .

You can use the checklist below to make sure your introduction does everything it’s supposed to.

Checklist: Essay introduction

My first sentence is engaging and relevant.

I have introduced the topic with necessary background information.

I have defined any important terms.

My thesis statement clearly presents my main point or argument.

Everything in the introduction is relevant to the main body of the essay.

You have a strong introduction - now make sure the rest of your essay is just as good.

• Argumentative
• Literary analysis

This introduction to an argumentative essay sets up the debate about the internet and education, and then clearly states the position the essay will argue for.

The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on the world of education. The use of the internet in academic contexts is on the rise, and its role in learning is hotly debated. For many teachers who did not grow up with this technology, its effects seem alarming and potentially harmful. This concern, while understandable, is misguided. The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its critical benefits for students and educators—as a uniquely comprehensive and accessible information source; a means of exposure to and engagement with different perspectives; and a highly flexible learning environment.

This introduction to a short expository essay leads into the topic (the invention of the printing press) and states the main point the essay will explain (the effect of this invention on European society).

In many ways, the invention of the printing press marked the end of the Middle Ages. The medieval period in Europe is often remembered as a time of intellectual and political stagnation. Prior to the Renaissance, the average person had very limited access to books and was unlikely to be literate. The invention of the printing press in the 15th century allowed for much less restricted circulation of information in Europe, paving the way for the Reformation.

This introduction to a literary analysis essay , about Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein , starts by describing a simplistic popular view of the story, and then states how the author will give a more complex analysis of the text’s literary devices.

Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein is often read as a crude cautionary tale. Arguably the first science fiction novel, its plot can be read as a warning about the dangers of scientific advancement unrestrained by ethical considerations. In this reading, and in popular culture representations of the character as a “mad scientist”, Victor Frankenstein represents the callous, arrogant ambition of modern science. However, far from providing a stable image of the character, Shelley uses shifting narrative perspectives to gradually transform our impression of Frankenstein, portraying him in an increasingly negative light as the novel goes on. While he initially appears to be a naive but sympathetic idealist, after the creature’s narrative Frankenstein begins to resemble—even in his own telling—the thoughtlessly cruel figure the creature represents him as.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

• Ad hominem fallacy
• Post hoc fallacy
• Appeal to authority fallacy
• False cause fallacy
• Sunk cost fallacy

College essays

• Choosing Essay Topic
• Write a College Essay
• Write a Diversity Essay
• College Essay Format & Structure
• Comparing and Contrasting in an Essay

 (AI) Tools

• Grammar Checker
• Paraphrasing Tool
• Text Summarizer
• AI Detector
• Plagiarism Checker
• Citation Generator

Your essay introduction should include three main things, in this order:

• An opening hook to catch the reader’s attention.
• Relevant background information that the reader needs to know.
• A thesis statement that presents your main point or argument.

The length of each part depends on the length and complexity of your essay .

The “hook” is the first sentence of your essay introduction . It should lead the reader into your essay, giving a sense of why it’s interesting.

To write a good hook, avoid overly broad statements or long, dense sentences. Try to start with something clear, concise and catchy that will spark your reader’s curiosity.

A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . Everything else you write should relate to this key idea.

The thesis statement is essential in any academic essay or research paper for two main reasons:

• It gives your writing direction and focus.
• It gives the reader a concise summary of your main point.

Without a clear thesis statement, an essay can end up rambling and unfocused, leaving your reader unsure of exactly what you want to say.

The structure of an essay is divided into an introduction that presents your topic and thesis statement , a body containing your in-depth analysis and arguments, and a conclusion wrapping up your ideas.

The structure of the body is flexible, but you should always spend some time thinking about how you can organize your essay to best serve your ideas.

Cite this Scribbr article

If you want to cite this source, you can copy and paste the citation or click the “Cite this Scribbr article” button to automatically add the citation to our free Citation Generator.

McCombes, S. (2023, July 23). How to Write an Essay Introduction | 4 Steps & Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved April 7, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/academic-essay/introduction/

Is this article helpful?

Shona McCombes

Other students also liked, how to write a thesis statement | 4 steps & examples, academic paragraph structure | step-by-step guide & examples, how to conclude an essay | interactive example, what is your plagiarism score.

Get 25% OFF new yearly plans in our Spring Sale

• Features for Creative Writers
• Features for Work
• Features for Higher Education
• Features for Teachers
• Features for Non-Native Speakers
• Learn Blog Grammar Guide Community Events FAQ
• Grammar Guide

Essay Checker: Free Online Paper Corrector

Your Best Chance for an A+ Essay. Try Our Free Essay Checker Below.

Start typing, paste, or use

Get more suggestions to enhance this text and all your future writing

Your suggestions will show once you've entered some text.

Great job! We didn't find any suggestions in your text.

Why Should You Use a Free Essay Checker?

The simple answer? Good grammar is necessary, but it’s not easy. You've already done countless hours of research to write the essay. You don’t want to spend countless hours correcting it, too.

You'll get a better grade

Good grammar or its absence can determine if you get a good grade or a failing one. Impress your lecturer not just with how grammatically sound your writing is, but how clear it is and how it flows.

You'll save time

Essay writing can be a long and tedious process. ProWritingAid's essay checker saves you the hassle by acting as the first line of defense against pesky grammar issues.

You'll become a better writer

Essay writing is a particular skill and one that becomes better with practice. Every time you run your essay through ProWritingAid’s essay corrector, you get to see what your common mistakes are and how to fix them.

Good Writing = Good Grades

It’s already hard to know what to write in an essay. Don’t let grammar mistakes hinder your writing and prevent you from getting a good grade. ProWritingAid’s essay checker will help you write your best essay yet. Since the checker is powered by AI, using it means that grammar errors don’t stand a chance. Give your professors something to look forward to reading with clear, concise, and professional writing.

How Does ProWritingAid’s Essay Checker Work?

Your goal in essay writing is to convey your message as best as possible. ProWritingAid's essay checker is the first step towards doing this.

Get Rid of Spelling Errors

ProWritingAid’s essay checker will show you what it thinks are spelling errors and present you with possible corrections. If a word is flagged and it’s actually spelt correctly you can always choose to ignore the suggestion.

Fix Grammar Errors

Professors aren’t fans of poor grammar because it interrupts your message and makes your essay hard to understand. ProWritingAid will run a grammar check on your paper to ensure that your message is precise and is being communicated the way you intended.

Get Rid of Punctuation Mistakes

A missing period or comma here and there may not seem that serious, but you’ll lose marks for punctuation errors. Run ProWritingAid’s paper checker to use the correct punctuation marks every time and elevate your writing.

Improve Readability

Make sure that in the grand scheme your language is not too complicated. The essay checker's built in readability report will show if your essay is easy or hard to read. It specifically zones in on paragraphs that might be difficult to read so you can review them.

What Else Can the Essay Checker Do?

The editing tool analyzes your text and highlights a variety of key writing issues, such as overused words, incohesive sentence structures, punctuation issues, repeated phrases, and inconsistencies.

You don’t need to drown your essay in words just to meet the word count. ProWritingAid’s essay checker will help to make your words more effective. You'll get to construct your arguments and make sure that every word you use builds towards a meaningful conclusion.

Transition words help to organize your ideas by showing the relationship between them. The essay checker has a built in Transition report that highlights and shows the percentage of transitions used in your essay. Use the results to add transitions where necessary.

An engaging essay has sentences of varying lengths. Don’t bore your professor with long, rambling sentences. The essay checker will show you where you need to break long sentences into shorter sentences, or add more sentence length variation.

Generally, in scholarly writing, with its emphasis on precision and clarity, the active voice is preferred. However, the passive voice is acceptable in some instances. When you run your essay through ProWritingAid’s essay checker, you get feedback on whether you 'r e using the passive or active voice to convey your idea.

There are academic specific power verbs like appraise , investigate , debunk , support , etc., that can add more impact to your argument by giving a more positive and confident tone. The essay checker will check your writing for power verbs and notify you if you have less than three throughout your essay.

It's easy to get attached to certain phrases and use them as crutches in your essays but this gives the impression of boring and repetitive writing. The essay checker will highlight your repeats and suggest contextually relevant alternatives.

Gain access to in-house blog reports on citations, how to write a thesis statement, how to write a conclusion, and more. Venture into a world of resources specific to your academic needs.

What Kinds of Papers Does ProWritingAid Correct?

No matter what you’re writing, ProWritingAid will adapt and show you where your edits are needed most.

• Argumentative
• Descriptive
• Textual Analysis
• Lab reports
• Case studies
• Literature reviews
• Presentations
• Dissertations
• Research papers

Professors and students love using ProWritingAid

If you're an English teacher, you need to take a look at this tool - it reinforces what you're teaching, highlights strengths and weaknesses, and makes it easier to personalize instruction.

Jennifer Gonzales

Only reason I managed to get an A in all my freshmen composition classes.

Chris Layton

Great tool for academic work. Easy to use and the reports and summary evaluation of your documents in several categories is very useful. So much more than spelling and grammar!

Debra Callender

Questions & Answers

1. how do i use the essay checker online tool.

You can either copy and paste your essay in the essay checker field or upload your essay from your computer. Your suggestions will show once you enter text. You’ll see a number of possible grammar and spelling issues. Sign up for free to get unlimited suggestions to improve your writing style, grammar, and sentence structure. Avoid unintentional plagiarism with a premium account.

2. Does the essay checker work with British English and American English?

The essay checker works with both British English and American English. Just choose the one you would like to use and your corrections will reflect this.

3. Is using an essay checker cheating?

No. The essay checker won’t ever write the essay for you. It will point out possible edits and advise you on changes you need to make. You have full autonomy and get to decide which changes to accept.

4. Will the essay checker auto-correct my work?

The essay writing power remains in your hands. You choose which suggestions you want to accept and you can ignore those that you don’t think apply.

5. Is there a student discount?

Students who have an eligible student email address can get 20% off ProWritingAid Premium. Email [email protected] from your student email address to access your discount.

6. Does ProWritingAid have a plagiarism checker?

Yes! ProWritingAid’s plagiarism checker will check your work against over a billion web-pages, published works, and academic papers, so you can be sure of its originality. Find out more about pricing for plagiarism checks here .

A good grade is closer than you think

Drop us a line or let's stay in touch via :

• THE INTERNET DICTIONARY
• THE LARGEST LIST OF ONLINE ACRONYMS
• SMILEYS :-)
• Texting Terms
• Programming
• Acronym of the Day
• Jargon Word of the Day
• Unsubscribe
• Add Your Own Lingo
• Editor Guidelines
• Pocket Dictionary
• Color Guide
• File Extensions
• HTML Cheat Sheet
• Free Downloads
• Popular Text Terms
• Business Text Terms
• Newbie Terms
• Common Expressions
• Funniest Terms
• Twitter Terms
• Online Dating Terms
• NetLingo The Dictionary
• NSFW: Little Black Book of Acronyms
• List of Texting Terms
• NetLingo Store
• Get NetLingo on Amazon

15 Words and Phrases That Will Make Your Essay Sound Smarter

As composing any piece of writing, it’s essential to use appropriate vocabulary to make your essay stand out. Plain language sounds boring and unappealing, so it’s really important to know how to write effective papers. Not only do some words can help you persuade the reader, grab their attention, but they can also make you sound smarter.

“It’s always the language, words and phrases that you use in your writing that make your paper sound smart. Your paper can be well-researched and insightful, but it won’t stand out if it’s written in plain, boring language,” says Adam Simon, a college student and contributor to LegitWritingServices essay writing service review and education blog.

So enjoy our list of 15 words and phrases that will be of great help to make you paper sound smarter. 

In other words

When to Use: To paraphrase something in a simpler manner, thus making it easier to understand;

Exemplary Sentence: Writing an essay isn’t as black as it’s painted. In other words , once you learn the general tips, all is left is the practice.

That is to say

When to Use: To provide additional explanation to your previous point, or to add information to sound more accurate;

Exemplary Sentence: To start writing an essay one needs to do research. That is to say , one should search for materials, read them, examine and take notes.

To that end

When to Use: A synonymous phrase meaning ‘in order to’ or ‘so’;

Exemplary Sentence: He wanted to get straight A’s. To that end , he has been mastering his writing skills recently.

Supporting points with additional info

And, and, and. Using ‘and’ throughout your essay to add points won’t make your paper sound smarter. There are tons of awesome expressions and here are the top of them.

Furthermore

When to Use: To provide additional points, used at the beginning of a sentence (don’t forget a comma);

Exemplary Sentence: Furthermore , you should proofread and polish your paper before handing out the final variant.

When to Use: To add additional information, or offering some ideas that support your point of view in a similar manner;

Exemplary Sentence: Planning the writing process is vital to avoid writer’s block and craft a well-thought paper. Likewise , it is essential to write an outline, so that your essay is well-structured.

Another key thing to remember

When to Use: If you have already overused the word ‘also’, it’s high time to use its synonymous phrase ‘another key thing to remember’;

Exemplary Sentence: When writing an introduction, make sure you hook the reader’s attention and arouse their interest. Another key thing to remember is that crafting an introduction last thing is often more effective, as you have already had the perfect grasp of the chosen topic.

Not only...but also

When to Use: To present two ideas while the latter is often more surprising than the former one. Keep in mind the inversion moment as well;

Exemplary Sentence: Not only should you support your topic idea with several additional ones, but you should also provide great examples to underpin your point of view.

Coupled with

When to Use: To examine two or more arguments at a time;

Exemplary Sentence: He soon realized that choosing the topic he was passionate about, coupled with following all the academic rules and standards, was the key to getting top grades for the essay.

Expressing contrast

It’s essential to present contrasting opinions in argumentative essays, as well as in any essay if you want to develop your point of view and make it sound strong. That is why, here are some phrases to use.

When to Use: To provide a contrasting point of view;

Exemplary Sentence: Putting off your essay until the last minute isn’t the greatest idea. However , there are some students who claim that they do better when they’re pressed for time.

When to Use: To give a contrasting point; often used at the beginning of a sentence for better emphasis;

Exemplary Sentence: Purchasing essays online is regarded as cheating by the majority of people. Yet some believe there is nothing wrong in asking for a bit of assistance with their papers.

On the other hand

When to Use: Often used along with another contrasting point, for example, there are two different interpretations of the same idea ‘on the one hand’ and ‘on the other hand’;

Exemplary Sentence: Crafting an essay may seem like the worst and the most daunting task. On the other hand , once you’ve finished it, you feel satisfied and have this pleasant sense of accomplishment.

Highlighting important information

Emphasizing particular points in your essay also require some useful vocabulary.

When to Use: A synonymous expression to ‘particularly’ or ‘significantly’ to highlight peculiar information;

Exemplary Sentence: After reading this article, one can notably improve their vocabulary and make their writing sound smarter.

Importantly

When to Use: Another synonym to the word ‘significantly’, suggesting a special meaning to the point;

Exemplary Sentence: Polishing her paper with high-brow vocabulary affected her grades importantly.

Providing examples

You won’t surprise you professor ‘for example’, while the following expression will boost your writing skills.

To give an illustration

When to Use: To provide an example that will best illustrate your point of view

Exemplary Sentence: To give an illustration of what I mean, let’s have a look at the final effective phrase to use.

All things considered

When to Use: In other words, ‘taking everything into account’

Exemplary Sentence: All things considered , writing a good essay may be time- and energy-consuming; it may require scrutinizing tons of academic rules and standards; it can be pressuring and scary. However, following some useful tips can ease the whole composing process. To give an illustration of what I mean, try enriching your vocabulary with these 15 words and phrases and see how smarter your paper sounds now.

Summarizing

If an effective essay was a building, it would have a great foundation (an introduction and a conclusion). An introduction grabs the reader’s attention and guides straight to the main body, while a conclusion has the final say that is supposed to leave an aftertaste. For this reason, it’s essential to use persuasive vocabulary when summarizing your ideas.

• Word Counter
• Character Counter
• Scrabble Word Finder
• Pomodoro Timer

How To Make Your Essay Sound Simple Yet Professional 

What is the difference between an essay and a well-written essay?

There is a huge difference, and it is best to understand through grades. Students are already involved with strenuous modules. It can take a toll on them when they are involved in other academic projects.

Are you not making enough impressions with your academic essays?

Trying to figure out why you are not reaching there?

You might be losing on your simplicity and professional intent with your essay. Yes, students face similar problems. Simplistic writing is difficult, and remember, professionalism finds its home in a simple approach. The article discusses the ways to make the essay sound simple yet professional. So, read on to find out.

Simple Yet Profession – What Are The Things To Follow?

Let’s burst the myth here; let’s be honest. Writing a simple, effective yet professional academic essay takes practice. This can not be achieved in a day. It’s akin to a journey. Here, we discuss the points to understand how to reach the destination.

1. Do Not Use Any Contraction

Sometimes students, in their search for a simple tone, take refuge in contraction and finally fall into the trap. But, remember, contractions like won’t, can’t, and haven’t do not go in conformity with the academic style of writing.

So you will have to replace with would not, can not, and have not. This is both simple and professional. Do not repeat this mistake any further. Therefore we advise you to take the help of an essay writing service so that you have a better idea of how assignments are written.

2. Avoid Colloquialism

Remember, informality might relate to simplicity in other genres of writing but not in academic writing precisely. You ought to avoid any colloquialisms in your expression. University writing must have to follow a certain standard.

For example, if you procrastinate with your assignment or do your thing, you can get away with it. This is an informal tone. You need to write like, if you procrastinate with your assignment, do you think you can find an escape route? This is a simple yet professional tone of writing.

3. Bombastic Words – Stay Away!

Bombastic words are assignment killers! Let me tell you this. Teachers typically forbid students to use bombastic words and expressions. This terribly disbalances the sentences and disrupts the line. So you need to stay away from them.

Teachers don’t want your pedantry with vocabulary, useless jargon, and hackneyed phrases – hence they are useless. Consciously keep yourself away from any such practices, and you can really make your academic essay simple yet powerful. Professionalism must follow an order and logical flow. So do not try to disrupt the flow of your writing. Keep sentences short and simple, and this will do it for you.

Image from Adobe Stock

4. Back-Up All With Evidence

Back up your writing with evidence. This is the hallmark of academic writing. Quality academic writing is evidence-based. You must have perceived scholastic writing from sources like Google Scholar.

Most of the content is based on facts, and they are well-referenced according to the norms of the university. So you have the Harvard, APA, Vancouver, Chicago, and other conventions of referencing.

Make sure that you are adding references to your writing. Make extensive use of facts and stats as much as possible to make your assignment look professional.

5. Avoid Clutter

Among the major mistakes that take away your marks and impression is clutter. Clutter means unnecessarily stuffing words that are not required to frame an expression.

This is not welcomed in an academic style of writing. Moreover, the repetition of sentences and expressions mar the flow of writing and takes away all sharpness. Therefore it is better that you avoid clutter in your expression.

An unnecessary whirlwind fills the pitcher of word count, and it does not really reflect on the grades. Therefore, it is better that you avoid any clutter with your expressions. Clutter kills simplistic flow and takes your writing far away from professionalism.

6. Avoid Repetition Of The Same Words

You need to avoid any repetition of the same word. This is a childish mistake and is unwelcome at any level. Let us cite an example here:

Brexit created havoc in the UK economy. Brexit not only weakened the UK economy but that of the entire of Europe. Brexit was not the right decision.

Instead of this, you need to write Brexit created havoc in the UK’s economy. It not only weakened the UK’s economy but also the entire of Europe. This makes the sentences logical and keeps the flow.

7. Use Paragraph To Simplify

Divide the chunky parts into paragraphs. Chunk writing decreases the sharpness and readability of the piece of writing. When you are writing a long section, you notice that you quickly lose all interest and enthusiasm. Though you provide lots of statistical data to logically establish your points, it unnecessarily creates a monotony with the writing.

Therefore the best thing is to disintegrate the large sections to bring clarity and simplicity. This goes with professional practice so far as university academic writing conventions are concerned. Smaller paragraphs keep the intent and interest lively.

To Wrap Up!

Writing academic essays is a difficult thing to manage. Moreover, writing a simple and professional essay is more difficult. Mastering a simplistic yet professional essay requires practice. But if one wants to achieve it, one will have to work quite a lot on the writing approach.

Students need to ensure that they use simple expressions instead of twisted ones. They must try their best to put simple words rather than bombastic ones. Try to use as many references as possible to make your writing analytical. Students also need to focus more on the flow of writing.

Always remember the points above when writing an essay. Adhere to these standards to develop your essay so that it turns out to be simple yet professional.

Read this article for more writing tips !

Previous Post

October 05, 2019

September 16, 2019

September 11, 2019

September 10, 2019

Places on our 2024 summer school are filling fast. Don’t miss out. Enrol now to avoid disappointment

• 13 Ways to Make Your Writing More Interesting to Read

There are numerous characteristics of a good essay: original thinking, a tight structure, balanced arguments, and many more .

You should also read…

• How to Improve Your Writing Skills in your Spare Time
• 5 Top Tips for Everyday Study Success

But one aspect often overlooked is that a good essay should be interesting . It should spark the curiosity of the reader, keep them absorbed, make them want to keep reading and learn more. A boring essay risks losing the reader’s attention; even if the points you make are excellent, a dull writing style or poor handling of a dry subject matter can undermine the positive aspects of the essay. The problem is that many students think that essays should be like this: they think that a dull, dry style is suited to the purposes of academic writing, and don’t consider that the teacher reading their essay wants to find the essay interesting. Academic writing doesn’t have to be – and shouldn’t be – boring. The good news is that there are plenty of things you can do to make your writing more interesting, even though you can only do so much while remaining within the formal confines of academic writing. Let’s look at what they are.

1. Be interested in what you’re writing about

If there’s one thing guaranteed to inject interest into your writing, it’s actually being interested in what you’re writing about. Passion for a subject comes across naturally in your writing, typically making it more lively and engaging, and infusing an infectious enthusiasm into your words – in the same way that it’s easy to chat knowledgeably to someone about something you find interesting. This makes it relatively easy to write interestingly about a subject you have a real passion for. However, problems arise when you’re forced to write an essay about subjects for which you lack enthusiasm. It’s difficult to conjure up passion for your least favourite subjects, and that will come across in your writing. There are steps you can take, though: here are some tips on writing about a subject you don’t enjoy.

• Adjust your mindset : convince yourself that there are no boring subjects. If the subject or essay comes across as boring, blame yourself; if you find yourself feeling negatively about it, try to find the interest in it. Think about how it relates to the real world and how important the subject is. Find interesting snippets of information about it and look at it from a new angle.
• Think about your reader : consider the fact that not everyone will find the subject as boring as you do. As you write, keep the reader in mind and imagine them to be the world’s biggest fan of this subject.
• Find the fans : if you find it impossible to get into the mindset of your audience, try Googling the subject to find forums, videos or blog posts in which the subject is discussed by people who do find it interesting. This will help you picture whom you’re writing for, and give you a different perspective on a subject you may not have found inspiring up to now.

2. Include fascinating details

Another factor that can make an essay boring is a dry subject matter. Some subjects or topic areas are naturally dry, and it falls to you to make the essay more interesting through your written style (more on this later) and by trying to find fascinating snippets of information to include that will liven it up a bit and make the information easier to relate to. One way of doing this with a dry subject is to try to make what you’re talking about seem relevant to the real world, as this is easier for the reader to relate to. In a discussion of a seemingly boring piece of legislation, for instance, you could make a comment along the lines of “if it were not for this legislation, none of us would enjoy the freedom to do such and such today”, or “Legislation A ultimately paved the way for Legislation B, which transformed criminal law as we know it.” Make it seem exciting!

3. Emulate the style of writers you find interesting

When you read a lot, you subconsciously start emulating the style of the writers you read. It’s therefore beneficial to read widely, as this exposes you to a range of styles and you can start to take on the characteristics of those you find interesting to read. If you feel engaged with a piece of writing, the writer must be doing something right! As you read, think consciously about what the writer is doing to hold your interest, perhaps underlining or copying out certain phrases, techniques, sentence structures and so on. Then apply their techniques to your own writing.

4. Write in the active voice

It’s the oldest trick in the book, but using the active rather than the passive voice will automatically make your writing more interesting to read. It results in more direct, energetic writing that makes the reader feel more ‘in the moment’. Unfortunately, many students employ the passive voice in the belief that it makes their writing sound more academic or intellectual; in fact, it makes their writing sound boring. Remember, the active voice is when the subject of the sentence “acts”, while the passive voice is when the subject is acted upon. Passive : It was concluded by the scientists that the methods used were… Active : The scientists concluded that the methods used were… The subject in this example is “the scientists” and the “act” they are carrying out is “concluding”. As you can see in this example, the active voice almost always results in neater and more elegant phrasing, which is more concise and enjoyable to read.

5. Borrow some creative writing techniques

There’s clearly a limit to the amount of actual ‘story-telling’ you can do when you’re writing an essay; after all, essays should be objective, factual and balanced, which doesn’t, at first glance, feel very much like story-telling. However, you can apply some of the principles of story-telling to make your writing more interesting. For example, just as the opening sentence or paragraph of a novel is incredibly important in capturing the attention of the reader early on, so the first paragraph of your essay is essential in making your reader want to continue reading it. Start with an attention-grabbing ‘hook’ to draw them in, such as a controversial statement, a tantalising snippet of information or a rhetorical question (more on these below). Here are some more techniques you can adopt from creative writing to improve your essays .

6. Think about your own opinion

Your essay is bound to be boring if all you do is paraphrase what everyone else says about something. A good essay – in humanities subjects, at least – incorporates the writer’s intelligent responses to what others say, and this critical consideration not only shows that you’re thinking at a high academic level, but it automatically adds more interest and originality to your writing. So, think independently and don’t be afraid to demonstrate that you’re doing as much.

7. Cut the waffle

Rambling on and on is boring, and almost guaranteed to lose the interest of your reader. You’re at risk of waffling if you’re not completely clear about what you want to say, or if you haven’t thought carefully about how you’re going to structure your argument. Doing your research properly and writing an essay plan before you start will help prevent this problem. Editing is an important part of the essay-writing process, so once you’ve done a first draft, edit out the waffle. Read through your essay objectively and take out the bits that aren’t relevant to the argument or that labour the point. As well as editing out chunks of text, it’s important to be economical with words – not using ten where five will suffice, and avoiding clunky phrases such as those outlined in this article . During the editing process, tighten up your phrasing by eliminating unnecessary words and reordering any sentences that read badly.

8. Using a thesaurus isn’t always a good thing

You may think that using a thesaurus to find more complicated words will make your writing more interesting, or sound more academic, but using overly high-brow language can have the wrong effect. It alienates the reader and makes you sound pompous, with the result that the essay is more laborious to read and the reader may quickly lose interest. Despite this, many undergraduates admit to deliberately over-complicating their language to make it sound more high-brow. If you want to keep your reader interested, keep your language clear and simple.

9. Avoid repetitive phrasing

Avoid using the same sentence structure again and again: it’s a recipe for dullness! Instead, use a range of syntax that demonstrates your writing capabilities as well as making your writing more interesting. Mix simple, compound and complex sentences to avoid your writing becoming predictable.

10. Use some figurative language

As we’ve already seen, it’s easy to end up rambling when you’re explaining difficult concepts, – particularly when you don’t clearly understand it yourself. A way of forcing yourself to think clearly about a concept, as well as explaining it more simply and engagingly, is to make use of figurative language. This means explaining something by comparing it with something else, as in an analogy. For example, you might use the analogy of water escaping from a hole in a bucket to explain the exponential decay of a radioactive substance, as the rate of depletion of both depends on how much remains, making it exponential. This gives the reader something familiar to visualise, making it easier for them to understand a new concept (obviously this will not be a new concept for the teacher who set your essay, but they will want to see that you can explain concepts clearly and that you have a thorough grasp of it yourself).

11. Avoid clichés

Clichés are overused words or phrases that make your writing predictable, and therefore less interesting. An example would be “at the end of the day”, but there are many such favourites of student essay-writers. Don’t forget that your teacher will have a stack of essays to read in one sitting; if you use the same tired expressions everyone else uses, your essay will blend in with all the others. Make it stand out by shunning the clichés you know your classmates will be using.

12. Employ rhetorical questions

One of the ways in which ancient orators held the attention of their audiences and increased the dramatic effect of their speeches was by making use of the rhetorical question. What is a rhetorical question? It’s essentially one you ask without expecting your audience to answer – one that you will answer yourself, like the one we asked in the previous sentence. This can be an effective way of introducing a new line of enquiry, or of raising questions that you’re going to address in more detail. A good place to use a rhetorical question is at the end of a paragraph, to lead into the next one, or at the beginning of a new paragraph to introduce a new area for exploration. The rhetorical question, “But is there any evidence to support X’s claim?” could, for instance, begin a paragraph that discusses evidence for an opinion introduced in the previous paragraph. What’s more, as we’ve already seen, you could use a rhetorical question as your ‘hook’ to lure readers in right at the beginning of your essay.

13. Proofread

Finally, you could write the most interesting essay a teacher has ever read, but you’ll undermine your good work if it’s littered with errors, which distract the reader from the actual content and will probably annoy them. Before you submit your essay, proofread it thoroughly to ensure that the grammar is elegant, the punctuation is perfect and the spelling is flawless. Don’t just use a spelling and grammar checker, as these don’t always pick up on all the errors.

Do you want to take your writing to the next level? Our Creative Writing summer school will teach you how to experiment with a number of different writing techniques, plan, edit and proofread your own work and introduce you to new concepts and ideas. 

Image credits: banner ; carousel ; rose ; scientists ; baby ; thesaurus ; hawk ; questions . 

Comments are closed.

IELTS Practice.Org

IELTS Practice Tests and Preparation Tips

• IELTS Writing

How to make your essays and reports sound more formal

by Manjusha Nambiar · March 31, 2015

Your essays and reports should be written in a formal and academic style.

Here are some smart strategies you can employ to make your writing sound more academic.

Use tentative language

Assertive language sounds less formal and hence it should be avoided. Instead use tentative language. One way of using tentative language is to include expressions like ‘probably’ and ‘possibly’. You can use them before noun phrases and verbs.

Examples are given below:

Global warming is possibly caused by an increase in the emission of carbon dioxide.

Heredity is probably the most important factor that determines a person’s chances of getting cancer.

The modal verbs may and might also make you sound less assertive.

Parents may be the best teachers for their children.

Avoid the adverbs always and every. Instead use often and much / many.

Many people believe that the internet should be regulated.

Use formal vocabulary. For example, write ‘obtain’ instead of ‘get’.

Limit the use of phrasal verbs. Write ‘tolerate’ instead of ‘put up with’.

Begin sentences with preparatory it and there.

There are several benefits to living on one’s own.

It seems that there are several benefits to living on one’s own.

Limit the use of personal pronouns. For example, you can use ‘one’ instead of ‘you’.

One may ask if the internet should be regulated.

Do not use rhetorical questions in your essay.

‘Unrestricted access to the internet may affect the normal development of young children. But is regulating it such a good idea after all?’

You may rewrite this passage as follows:

‘Unrestricted access to the internet may affect the normal development of young children. However, regulating it does not seem to be such a good idea.’

The connectors

The connector ‘besides’ is informal. Limit its use. The connectors ‘moreover’ and ‘furthermore’ too should be used with care. Both expressions mean that the information that follows them is more important than the information that preceded them.

Instead of ‘moreover and ‘furthermore’, you can use the connectors ‘in addition’ and ‘also’ . They give equal importance to both sentences.

Internet addiction may affect your work. It may also affect your relationships.

Tags: ielts writing tips

Manjusha Nambiar

Hi, I'm Manjusha. This is my blog where I give IELTS preparation tips.

• Next story  How to attempt the completion tasks in the reading module
• Previous story  Accolade

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

• Academic Writing Task 1
• Agree Or Disagree
• Band 7 essay samples
• Band 8 Essay Samples
• Band 8 letter samples
• Band 9 IELTS Essays
• Discuss Both Views
• Grammar exercises
• Learn English
• OET Letters
• Sample Essays
• Sample Letters
• Writing Tips

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

IELTS Practice

How To Write Sounds: Onomatopoeia Definition and Examples

by Joe Bunting | 38 comments

Screech! Hold up. Did you hear that? Boom! No, not that. Ring-ring . Not that either. Moo. There it is.

That is the sound of onomatopoeia, one of the most fun words to spell in the English language, and if you want to know how to write sounds, an absolutely essential literary device.

How does onomatopoeia work? And how can you use it to write sounds? In this article, I'll give you the definition of onomatopoeia, share a list of onomatopoeia examples, and end with a creative writing exercise .

Onomatopoeia Definition

Onomatopoeia. A word that sounds like the sound it describes, e.g. bang, boom, pow.

How to Write Sounds with Onomatopoeia

Adding onomatopoeia to your writing engages the reader's imagination and forces them to mentally say that word, invoking the image or sound effect that you're trying to get across.

When you're writing, you may want the reader to hear the sound of gravel crunching beneath a character's feet.

James walked across the gravel driveway, his boots crunching with each step.

Not the best story I've ever told, but you get the idea, right? Onomatopoeia tries to capture the natural sounds that emerge from character action or setting detail.

It doesn't have to be a poetic sound or a pleasant sound—the goal is to capture image.

To add onomatopoeia to your writing, pay attention to sounds around you. Is a faucet dripping? Or maybe you can hear the woosh of cars as they fly by on the freeway beside your house.

Whatever you hear, try to capture it in a writing sound or a kind of sound effect for your reader.

Use Onomatopoeia to Describe Animal Sounds

Onomatopoeias is often used to describe the sounds animas make, like “oink” or “moo.”

My favorite recent example of onomatopoeia is a humorous song about the sound a fox makes called “What Does a Fox Say” by the Norwegian group Ylvis.

Dog goes “woof” Cat goes “meow” Bird goes “tweet” And mouse goes “squeek” Cow goes “moo” Frog goes “croak” And the elephant goes “toot” Ducks say “quack” And fish go “blub” And the seal goes “ow ow ow” But there's one sound That no one knows What does the fox say?

Different languages have their own onomatopoeias as well. For example, American dogs say “woof woof,” but French dogs say “ouah ouah,” and Japanese dogs say “wan wan.”

Make Up New Words With Onomatopoeia

Going back to our example:

James walked across the gravel driveway, his boots crunching at each step.

You could use the word crunch , which is a great example of onomatopoeia.

But if you wanted to take onomatopoeia a step further you could alter the word, or even make up a new word, to describe the sound. For example, say you have a very specific idea of what that sound is, so instead of saying that the gravel crunched , maybe you make up a word that, when spoken aloud, sounds like the gravel. Crinch or shimpch or even stomp-ch .

Onomatopoeia is, with a few exceptions, the one time when you're writing that no one will correct your spelling!

List of Onomatopoeia Examples

Here's a list of some of the top onomatopoeia examples:

Whichever examples of onomatopoeia strike you as the best description for your action, try a few today and see how they enliven the scene.

What is your favorite onomatopoeia sound word? Are there any onomatopoeia words I forgot? Let me know in the comment s.

Ready to put onomatopoeia to use? Great! Here's your creative writing prompt :

Write for fifteen minutes about a group of friends experiencing the last few days of summer. Incorporate as many onomatopoeias as you can.

Share your practice in the Pro Practice Workshop here , and leave feedback for a few other writers. Not a member? Join us here .

Joe Bunting

Joe Bunting is an author and the leader of The Write Practice community. He is also the author of the new book Crowdsourcing Paris , a real life adventure story set in France. It was a #1 New Release on Amazon. Follow him on Instagram (@jhbunting).

Want best-seller coaching? Book Joe here.

38 Comments

Ok, best conversation ever: we were in Guatemala and my friend asked one of the children what dogs say in Spanish. The little girl, like 6, responded, “Dogs don’t speak Spanish!” (She didn’t say, “Duh!” but that was the tone in her voice).

 Ha ha!  We are raising my little girl bilingual (Spanish/English) and all our friends get confused when she point to birds and says “piu piu” instead of “chirp chirp” or “wow wow” instead of “Bow wow”.  So yes, dogs speak Spanish. 

That’s great that you’re raising her bilingual. I hope do the same with my kids someday. Learning a language is hard but doing it when you’re young makes it easier than in the classroom (I’ve done that twice).

How do you write Gasp! (when someone gasps), when you are writing a story and you want to emphasize that word in action?

Finally, someone that gets that if the dogs (or pigs or cats, etc.) of the world got together they would need an international bow-wow translator. 🙂

“Ugh,” she frowned as she threw her head back towards the bright sun beating down on them.  “I so don’t want to go back to school.”

“Well, as they say, all good things must come to an end.”  Her father spoke absently as his hands slipped over the large smooth wheel.  He was coming about, steering the boat back towards the harbor entrance.

Ting, ting, ting, ting.  The large striped sail was luffing in the wind and the sail ties snapped wildly against the mast.

“Honey, can you tighten the main a little?”

I tucked my tanned outstretched legs underneath me so my mother could grab the line.

Click, click, click, click, click.   My mom screwed up her face as she used all her waning strength to slowly crank the winch for the main sheet.  Rrrrrrt!   At last the sail was tight, she could crank no further.

“Ok!  That’s good!  Now cleat it off.”

 As the sail stiffened, it became quiet and once again we were left with only the sound of the boat rhythmically surfing through the afternoon swells.  Swish, Swish…the sound and the gentle rocking nearly always put me to sleep.  Once again, I leaned my head back against the cabin, closed my eyes and let the sun warm my face.  

I was nearly asleep when I heard the familiar clang of the harbor beacon.  I sat up and peered around.  It was nearing 5:00 pm and the boats that had gone out that day were on their way back in.  As the beacon bobbed to and fro, I caught a whiff of the sea lions perched upon it and lazily atop each other.  Like a plate of noodles they nestled into one another until the largest among them suddenly lifted his head and thrust his chest out towards the horizon.  His mates slithered off his back, rudely awakened. 

Ohr!  Ohr!  Ohr!  One by one, they all clamored their way to an upright position.  Soon they were falling over one another trying to catch a scattering of tiny orange treats.  

I should have known.  It was my brother, tossing goldfish crackers to the sea lions from the bow of the boat.

Splash!  A baby fell into the ocean and soon they were all in the water diving and swimming, poking their heads up looking for treats.  

That damn kid.  He always knew how to ruin a perfectly peaceful moment.

 This has to be some of the best use of onamatopeia I’ve ever read! It all sounds so natural, you can imagine the sounds coming from a boat. I liked your analogy of the sea-lions “like a plate of noodles”, too!

What a well-crafted piece.   If someone had asked he to guess the writing prompt that inspired this story, I never would have onomatopeoia.  That’s how seemlessly it is woven into the story.  It stands out, yet disappears as just another compelling part of the narrative.

I really enjoyed your submission!

Too tired to read this post tonight, but that is the most beautiful cow I’ve ever seen… Great photo!!!

I know. I was impressed too. 🙂

Thud.   Sally opened her eyes to the warm darkness of a summer night. She listened intently but all she could hear was Doug’s breathing next to her. She smiled and pulled the light sheet over her. Thud.   Silence.   Scrittch, scratch, scratch,scratch. Thud. Her heart began to race and Doug stirred beside her but the noises in the next room had stopped. Phoooph – an exhalation of breath not quite a snort, and then another flurry of scratching. Thud …. thud it sounded as if something was being thrown around the room.  Doug was sitting up beside her now. She hardly dared to breathe. Squeak, squeak – then silence. Ominous silence. “Bloody cat! Its got a rat.” Doug lay back down pulling her with him. In the morning, just outside their room they found the remains – a long grey tail and a small pile of viscera. The cat was asleep in the sun.

Great build up of tension with your sounds there. Well done, I was expecting it to be much worse than the already bad cat offering. Like.

My favorite sentence:  Doug lay back down, pulling her with him.  And I love the use of the word scritch.  So much more texture than if you had just left it all up to scratching.

The last days of summer in Vladivostok. It had sounded like a great idea. It was still a great idea. Theoretically. In practice, however…

Abigail moaned, almost physically sick, as the slurge of Chantelle’s umpteenth belly-flop lurched across the pool area.

“Telly!” yelped Isabelle, as droplets of water tinkled delicately onto her tanning skin.

There ought to be rules against wearing bikinis, Abigail thought. She glanced sideways at Daffy. Daffy had looked up over her reading glasses, but evidently wasn’t concerned. After all, Daffy could keep her calm through the worst of their sisters’ tricks – the time Telly danged the frying-pan over Isabelle’s pretty head, for insance. A few shrieks couldn’t upset her. She returned to the no-doubt engrossing subject of the Russian Formalists.

Abigail, glancing anxiously at the other occupant of the pool area – a short man, fast asleep, evidently on a mission to tan bulging paunch – decided to try unconcern, too. Lying back on the lounge, she shut her eyes, dreaming of a remote village in Peru. A few whoops from headhunters could hardly be worse than this.

Perhaps it was a premonition. Or maybe the light pop-splash of a beach ball plopping lightly into the pool.

Abigail sat bolt upright – just in time to see the beech ball leave Chantelle’s hand and warrump onto that bright, tempting paunch.

Telly blinked innocently as the man fixed her with bulbous eyes. “How unexpected!” she exclaimed. “Must be a sort o’ magnetic ‘ttraction ‘tween round objects. I’d better go after it, ‘adn’t I?” Telly pulled herself out of the pool and disappeared round a corner, splat-splatting water everywhere.

The lightest whoosh was Isabelle slipping into the pool and underwater before the man could trace any sisterly likenesses.

Daffy’s reading glasses folded with a clickety-click. Snap! Their case shut. A mild thud sufficed to shut the Russian Formalists between their covers. A delicate “Ahem!” as Daffy stood up. “I seem to have forgotten my phone upstairs. I’m expecting an important call…” Clip-clip-clip as she effaced herself, neatly and efficiently, as always.

Abigail lay back, ramming her sunglasses over her eyes and jamming her sunhat on top of her face. If she were only half as adept at making excuses…

A great use of onomatopoeia without making the words stand out like a sore thumb – very natural.  Nice job!

“Ahhhhhh,” Nicki sighed, Tory Burch flip-flops by her side.  “You’re so lucky you guys have a pool.”   Splip.  Splip.   “You really are, Tessa,” agreed Jill.  “Look how unswollen my feet look in this water.  I wonder if it would work for my ass?  It’s gotten huge!”   “Haha!  Mine, too!  Tessa, come join us.”   Sigh….   “I’ll be there in a minute,” said Tessa.   Ka-chick. Ka-chick. Ka-chick.  Watermelon rind was still no match for the five-year old knives Tessa’s had gotten for her wedding.   Black teardrops dotted pink flesh of the summer fruit.    “Grrrr.”  The seedless sticker had lied to Tessa, again.     Zap-splat, Zap-splat, Zap-splat!   “Ow!!  Mom, Patrick shot me in the eye!”   “Wah-wah-wah, you little cry-baby!  It’s just water, Caroline!  Besides, it was an accident.”   Whap. Whap. Crack.   “So was that.”  Caroline smiled, a now-broken plastic pail dangling from her five year-old fingers.   “I’m gonna get you for that!”   “Eeeeeek!” Caroline flung the red bucket from her hand, and zoomed away, with her twin brother in hot pursuit.   Bonk. Clatter. Shatter.   Tessa bent down  and picked up the pieces of the glass pitcher, sticky with spilled lemonade.  Tessa had gotten it for her wedding, too.   “Ding Dong the pitcher’s dead…” played in parody in Tessa’s head.  She and Bill had registered for different pitcher.  But her mother-in-law had given them this one, instead.   The shards clinked like tinkling wind chimes in warm breeze as Tessa dumped them in the garbage.    “Stay off the patio!” Tessa called to her children, who seemed to have forgotten they hated each other and were now playing a game they’d invented called “I can make a grosser sound that you can!”   Blech….Buurrrp….Gaaaag…   Psssttt-pssst-shhhh-pssst. Even across the yard, Tessa could catch a few of her friends’ whispered words, including “My kids will never be like that,” and “I know, doesn’t she read Parenting magazine?”   Hmmmph.  Next month Nicki and Jill would each give birth to their first child.  Until then, they would have all the answers.   “Help me up,” Jill said to Nicki. “I gotta go pee.”   “Great.  Now you got my bladder thinking it has to go pee, too.”   Ms. September 14 Due Date and Ms. September 22 Due Date groaned as they struggled to launch their beach ball bodies upward.   “Through the playroom and then first door on your left,” Tessa directed.  It wasn’t the closest bathroom, but it was out of earshot of the kitchen.   Pop. Fizz. Blibble blibble blible. Swish.   Tessa toasted the setting summer sun.  Etiquette be damned, she downed her champagne in one glorious gulp.   Kindergarten began on Tuesday.   Ahhhhhh.

You’re a master at this!

Fantastic onomatopoeia!  

            The cool sea breezes softly stroked the cheeks of the three friends as they sat on the small plot of sand that throughout the summer, they had come to consider as their own.

            “Isn’t this the best?” Becky said, closing her eyes and letting out a long, contented “ahhhh.”  The waves wooshed as they climbed the up sand towards our feet, but just as they were about to lap over our toes, fell back with a prolonged shoosh.

            “I don’t want to go back to school,” Drew said, gulping the last of his soda, then smacking his lips in a dramatic fashion that made his companions giggle.  “I say, we claim this beach in the name of Beach Bums everywhere!”  He leapt to his feet, plunking down into the hard-packed sand, hands flying to his hips in a comical fashion.

            Becky and Allison began scooping up the wet, soppy sand and piling it into a rudimentary castle.  As they scooped, the sand sucked and bubbled, as if it was angry at being removed from it’s comfortable, squishy bed.  They piled their tower so high, that it eventually collapsed like the Tower of Babel.  “Aw,” they said in unison, sticking out their bottom lips.  Allison shrugged, and inspected her nails, flicking the crusty sand from beneath the edges.

            “I never want to leave this spot.”  Becky wrapped her arm around her best friend, who in turn wrapped her arm around Drew.  The three companions sat staring out into the glassy sea, letting the caw of the gulls lull them into a late summer trance, as the cooper sun dipped sluggishly behind the horizon.

This is wonderful!

Great imagery!

Loved the part about the sand being angry about being being pulled out its comfortable bed (I’d leave out the word squishy though, cause I think being pulled out a comfortable bed is strong on its own and lots of people can relate to it.

Seems like no one wants school to start (except the moms?).

We are here on the White River just as the sun is setting, the three of us, and we are slick with suntan lotion and we are drinking white zin with a splash of Sprite and we feel the way you do when you know an ending is close, though none of you will say it.

We play a game from back in the day, when we stayed out late, hiding behind big trees and small houses, signaling to each other in the black night.

“Hoo,” I call from my place on the beach towel, and Royce calls back.

“Hoo, hoot,” she says, and takes a swig.

Gaylene takes over then.

“Hoo, hoot, hoosier,” she calls, and starts to laugh, the hiccupped laughter she’s famous for.

A boat whooshes by, a great plume of water in its wake. 

Royce pulls out the firecrackers she’s been holding onto since July.  She stands, unsteady on her feet, and lays the firecrackers out on the bank of the river.  The group of them is as big as a dish towel. Gaylene jumps up and brings her cigarette to Royce, who lights the row of tiny explosives.  There are pops like gunfire and the firecrackers flick and snap and hiss and sizzle.

We raise our fists and we thump our foreheads, we dance together, as if the fireworks are the grandest thing we’ve seen.  Everything tonight is bigger than it should be.  The moon seems too close now, so big and so bright the stars fade beside it.  I smile to hard, and my back teeth are probably showing.  Gaylene is  turning in wide circles calling the Razorbacks.  “Woo, pig, sooie,” she calls and wiggles her fingers like she’s just touched something hot.

Tomorrow she’ll be heading to Fayetteville, where she’s a freshman at the University of Arkansas. 

“I’ll hate wearing a picture of a hog on everything I own,” Gaylene says.  “If I was little like Royce, I wouldn’t care, but one me it looks like a confession.”

And Royce says, “You’re going to be fine, sweetie. And you haven’t been fat since seventh grade.”

In the distance the wind whips across the hills, the sound like wheezing.  The highway is a half a mile away, the cars swooshing by, and we stand there, listening. 

Royce is getting married in a week, something we’re all trying not to talk about, and so we focus on  Gaylene, who stands beneath the glinting moon, and we try to see her future, high and lifted up, and we hang onto it,  we hang onto each other, and we are slashes of light that streak across the black water of the river and spark across the midnight sky.

That’s beautiful!

You have some really great phrases, like the razorback being a confession and and an ending is close though none of us will say it.  Also, you developed the friendship very strongly.  I wanted to know them better.

Maybe you added some things just for the sake of the onomatopoeia exercise, but I think if you were to develop this into a short story, you could leave out a few scene descriptors (like the boat passing, unless it has relevance to the story, like if it happened after they set off the fireworks and they are afraid they are getting busted?) and you will still have a strong setting.

Beautiful framework.  I can definitely see these 3 as chick lit characters. 🙂

Really beautiful imagery.  You really have a knack for expressing feelings.  I loved this scene.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I love onomatopoeia! In my piece for the short story contest I wanted to use a word describing a girl calling out. I had in mind a particular sound but wasn’t sure if I could just make it up (now I know!) so I tried to find something like it on dictionary.com. Woohoo, which surprisingly is a word, wasn’t the sound I was after. I ended up using the Australian call cooey, which is also an actual word, even though the story is set in Scotland. I knew words like pop and buzz were onomatopoeia but I didn’t know it was legitimate to make up your own. Even more reason to like onomatopoeia! I also just like saying it! 🙂

I’ve got problems with onomatopoeia-  years ago I wrote a story in college that my professor loved and made me read aloud in class.  There was one bit with a clock ticking, and I felt ridiculous reading out the tick tock.  My prof said- rule of thumb:  if you feel awkward reading it out loud, don’t write it.  So I don’t.

The only way I could do this, was by doing a children themed piece, so here goes:

Splish went the water as they jumped right in,

Into the ocean where they loved to swim.

Whooosh went the sea shell held to their ear

Sounding like the ocean that they loved so dear.

Shoo-oo-oo went the soft summer breeze

That blew the fine grained sand that made them sneeze.

Squish-squash went the wet sand beneath their toes/

“Mommy, where is it that the ocean goes?”

But now that summer has come to an end,

Good by ocean, shell, summer breeze and sand.

“Blaah burla burla burlah” – cackled the boiling laughter of the bong. Followed by a long sigh-like “Paaaaaaaaah” and real lifelike cloud burst out of his mouth filling the room above them with thick white smoke. “Pheeew, Johny that`s a big one! Where did you get lungs like that!” Said Susan and pulled the bong from his hands. “Well my dear, I`m a trained expert in homemade clouds, mists and any sorts of smoke-like activities.” Johny laughed.

“Blurp blurp blurp.” The bong gargled angrily in her hands. Susan closed her eyes and let out a long “Phooooo” of smoke towards the ceiling. The pictures on the back of her eyelids begin to move and she could almost swear she heard the whirring “Swish swash” of the lightsabers she swings in her mind.  

Lol. This is sooooo funny 😉

You could say, footstep. And say the t, and p, heavily.

La la la la la la ,a la la ,a Lanka ka kamdehvdkebfiebfinedosbdubwi

Oh, wow. I got to learn a new word! What a cool one! Yes. I must practice this one! Thank you!

How do you all write zip, do you add extra zs or ps when trying to make a sound rather than explain the action of zipping?

Submit a Comment Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Submit Comment

Join over 450,000 readers who are saying YES to practice. You’ll also get a free copy of our eBook 14 Prompts :

Popular Resources

Book Writing Tips & Guides Creativity & Inspiration Tips Writing Prompts Grammar & Vocab Resources Best Book Writing Software ProWritingAid Review Writing Teacher Resources Publisher Rocket Review Scrivener Review Gifts for Writers

Books By Our Writers

You've got it! Just us where to send your guide.

Enter your email to get our free 10-step guide to becoming a writer.

You've got it! Just us where to send your book.

Enter your first name and email to get our free book, 14 Prompts.

Want to Get Published?

Enter your email to get our free interactive checklist to writing and publishing a book.