66 Forgiveness Essay: Examples, Titles, & Thesis Statement

A forgiveness essay is an exciting yet challenging task. In our article, you can find good forgiveness essay examples in literature, history, religion, and other spheres

📝 Writing a Forgiveness Theme Statement

🏆 best forgiveness essay examples, 🔍 simple forgiveness titles for essay, 💡 interesting forgiveness essay examples.

In your forgiveness essay, focus on different aspects of forgiveness. Some good forgiveness titles for the essay reveal themes of revenge, justice, and personal forgiveness. You can write an excellent reflective or argumentative essay on forgiveness – it is a versatile topic.

Regardless of your forgiveness essay’s specific topic and type, you should develop a strong thesis statement. Below we will provide recommendations on making a good forgiveness theme statement. This will help you come up with a solid base and arguments to prove your position.

Check these tips to make a powerful forgiveness thesis statemen:

  • Determine the primary idea. What are you trying to prove? Can anything be forgiven, or are there cases when it’s not possible? Introduce your one main idea and the angle from which you will look at it. You can also include some facts or opinions about the acuteness of the topic.
  • Work out your argumentation. It is crucial to have a firm structure in your forgiveness essay. You need to support the thesis statement with several arguments and evidence to demonstrate the consistency of your paper.
  • Think of the opposing views. Every argument has a counterargument. When working on your forgiveness theme statement, always keep an opposite thesis statement in mind. Having considered counter positions, you gain additional arguments for your position.
  • Don’t quote others in your thesis statement. A thesis statement is the first and foremost chance to introduce your point of view. Use your own strongest words to reach a reader. This is where they get the first impression about the whole work.

We also have lots of other tips on developing A+ thesis statements. Check our free thesis statement generator to discover more information and get a perfect forgiveness theme statement.

  • Forgiveness in Martin Luther’s Movement for Rights Blacks The bible teachings tell us that God exists in the holy trinity and the only way to forgive others is for us to be able to forgive our own transgressions.
  • Forgiveness in Simon Wiesenthal’s Work The Sunflower Taking into account the major themes of the book The Sunflower, one is to make a conclusion that such response to atrocities as forgiveness is considered to be the key aspect of humanity.
  • Forgiveness and Reconciliation Critique Availability of literature; as stated in the literature though the area of forgiveness is new in the field of psychology, but there is enough literature to cover the study.
  • Forgiveness & Reconciliation: The Differing Perspectives of Psychologists and Christian Theologians Based on the research design there is evidence of measures put in place to control against most of these biases which strengthens the study findings; this is the strength to the study.
  • Divine and Human Forgiveness in “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” By Samuel Taylor Coleridge After killing the albatross who was suppose to provide them with wind, all the people in the ship died but he managed to survive because he had asked God to forgive him all the sins […]
  • The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression, Anxiety and Posttraumatic Stress for Women After Spousal Emotional Abuse Enright forgiveness model applied in the study proved effective since it systematically addressed the forgiveness process identified the negative attributes caused by the abuse, and prepared the women for positive responses.
  • Self-Forgiveness as the Path to Learning to Forgive the Others The key issues that the given research responds to or, at least, attempts to solve, are the definition of self-forgiveness, the relation between self-forgiveness and interpersonal forgiveness, and the means to differentiate between self-forgiveness and […]
  • Review: “Interventions Studies on Forgiveness: A Meta-analysis” by Baskin T. and Enright R. In the church, members come to the pastor with a variety of social and psychological issues. The first step the pastor should undertake is to sympathise with the victims.
  • The Amish Philosophy of Forgiveness It is important to note that the immediate forgiveness of the enemy does not mean that the Amish will let the perpetrators of crime go free.
  • Self-Forgiveness: The Step Child of Forgiveness Research Other than the similarities and the differences, the two types of forgiveness relate to each other as self-forgiveness facilitates interpersonal forgiveness, this is through allowance of one to identify with one’s offender.
  • The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy After gathering the relevant data, the researchers compared the recovery of the participants to their controls to determine the effects of forgiveness therapy.
  • Forgiveness for Workplace Conflict Resolution The problem with the relationship between the two workers is that Jake feels that Monica is a relatively malicious individual. In the outlined scenario, Jake is doing all that he can to avoid dealing with […]
  • Philosophy of Forgiveness I believe that if anyone had gone through all the pain and horror that Simon had, and was asked to forgive Karl, the instinct, and most humane reaction at that moment would be to strongly […]
  • Forgiveness in the Christian Texts and the World Today The apostle calls upon the church’s people to stop the punishment of the wrongdoer and forgive, comfort, and affirm their love for him. It instructs Muslims to follow God and forgive others instead of following […]
  • Racial Inequality Targeted Student Loan Forgiveness Programs The research into this topic seems highly significant as the reduction of racial inequality was one of the most debated topics in the U.S.for the last several decades.
  • Service Recovery and Customer Forgiveness Studies suggest that after apologizing to customers plus taking responsibility for the problem, getting to the root of the problem is very important to prevent such occurrences in the future. Getting to the root of […]
  • Christ’s Atonement and the Concept of Forgiveness This study will connect the atonement of Jesus Christ and attitudes towards forgiveness through the revision of the current church, Love and God’s commandment to forgive.
  • Hamlet and Forgiveness: A Personal Reflection Some of the most prominent themes in the story are the ideas of mutual forgiveness, people’s motivation to be proactive and take risks, and their willingness to forgive and ask for forgiveness.
  • The Idea Of Forgiveness Resonates Differently With Every Individual
  • Accident Forgiveness in Automobile Insurance
  • The Association Of Feathers And Forgiveness
  • Christians’ Beliefs About Justice And Forgiveness
  • Debt Forgiveness: The Missing Link in Closing Gap with Third World
  • Christian Beliefs about Justice, Forgiveness and Reconciliation
  • Learning About Forgiveness From the Teachings of the Bible
  • Crusades and the Forgiveness of Sins of the Sinners
  • Feelings Surrounding the Need for Forgiveness in Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights
  • Why Forgiveness Is Essential and the Forgiveness Manadala
  • The Desirability of Forgiveness in Regulatory Enforcement
  • The Styles of Forgiveness Communication in Association with Determinants of Forgiveness in In the Wake of Transgressions, an Article by Andy Merolla
  • The Spiritual Principle of Forgiveness in Wes Anderson’s Film The Royal Tenenbaums, Saint Augustine’s Confessions, and the Biblical Story of Adam and Eve
  • The Problems With Forgiveness: An Analysis of Literary Works
  • The Relationship Between Forgiveness and Sleep Quality
  • The Themes of Betrayal and Forgiveness in Paradise Lost by John Milton and A Doll’s House by Henrik Ibsen
  • Love, Forgiveness, and Trust: Critical Values of the Modern Leader
  • Compassion and Forgiveness: Wilde’s Insincerity
  • The Secret Life of Bees An Analysis of Forgiveness and Responsibility
  • Themes Of Forgiveness In The Tempest By William Shakespeare
  • Resolutions of Forgiveness, Repentance and Reconciliation in Shakespeare
  • The Kite Runner: Forgiveness, Loyalty, and the Quest for Redemption
  • Why Forgiveness Is Vital In Our Society
  • Morals And Forgiveness In Simon Wiesenthal’s The Sunflower
  • The Emotional and Physical Benefits of the Act of Forgiveness
  • The Monster’s Lack of Forgiveness in Frankenstein, a Book by Mary Shelley
  • Conflict Management : Forgiveness And Reconciliation
  • Man Alive: A True Story Of Violence, Forgiveness And Becoming
  • The Renaissance Figure That Wonders the Lands in Hope of Bring Forgiveness in the Pardoner and His Tale
  • The Impact of Acceptance, Tolerance, and Forgiveness in Frankenstein, a Novel by Mary Shelley
  • Racism, Redemption, Forgiveness and Hope in Minor Miracle, a Poem by Marilyn Nelson
  • Why Perspective in Forgiveness and Redemption is so Important
  • The Themes Punishment vs. Forgiveness Present in the Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
  • The Dynamics of Corporate Debt forgiveness and Contract Renegotiation
  • Throwing Stones-Resilience and Forgiveness in The Glass Castle
  • The Importance of Granting Forgiveness to One’s Enemies in Simon Wiesenthal’s The Sunflower: on Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness
  • The Meaning and Significance for Christians Today of Forgiveness
  • Penalties and Exclusion in the Rescheduling and Forgiveness of International Loans
  • Gender Differences in the Relationship Between Empathy and Forgiveness
  • Conflicts And Forgiveness In Family
  • The Importance of Perspectives in Forgiveness and Redemption
  • The Economic And Ethical Ambiguities Of African Debt Forgiveness
  • Exploring the Themes of Forgiveness and Reconciliation in The Tempest by William Shakespeare
  • Vengeance and Forgiveness in Shakespeare’s The Tempest
  • The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression
  • Theme Of Betrayal, Revenge, And Forgiveness
  • Unbroken A Story Of Redemption And Forgiveness By Laura
  • The Christian View On Justice Forgiveness And Reconciliation
  • Chicago (A-D)
  • Chicago (N-B)

IvyPanda. (2024, February 24). 66 Forgiveness Essay: Examples, Titles, & Thesis Statement. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/forgiveness-essay-examples/

"66 Forgiveness Essay: Examples, Titles, & Thesis Statement." IvyPanda , 24 Feb. 2024, ivypanda.com/essays/topic/forgiveness-essay-examples/.

IvyPanda . (2024) '66 Forgiveness Essay: Examples, Titles, & Thesis Statement'. 24 February.

IvyPanda . 2024. "66 Forgiveness Essay: Examples, Titles, & Thesis Statement." February 24, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/forgiveness-essay-examples/.

1. IvyPanda . "66 Forgiveness Essay: Examples, Titles, & Thesis Statement." February 24, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/forgiveness-essay-examples/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "66 Forgiveness Essay: Examples, Titles, & Thesis Statement." February 24, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/forgiveness-essay-examples/.

  • Tolerance Essay Ideas
  • Loyalty Essay Ideas
  • Personal Ethics Titles
  • Friendship Essay Ideas
  • Christianity Topics
  • Altruism Ideas
  • Church Paper Topics
  • Positive Psychology Titles
  • Consciousness Ideas
  • Bible Questions
  • Virtue Essay Ideas
  • Moral Development Essay Topics
  • Belief Questions
  • Idealism Paper Topics
  • Personal Values Ideas

Appointments at Mayo Clinic

  • Adult health

Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger and resentment — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

Who hasn't been hurt by the actions or words of another? Perhaps a parent constantly criticized you growing up, a colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. Or maybe you've had a traumatic experience, such as being physically or emotionally abused by someone close to you. These wounds can leave lasting feelings of resentment, bitterness and anger — sometimes even hatred.

But if you hold on to that pain, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you also can embrace peace and hope. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness means different things to different people. But in general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger.

The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you. But working on forgiveness can lessen that act's grip on you. It can help free you from the control of the person who harmed you. Sometimes, forgiveness might even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you. It also doesn't necessarily mean making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that allows you to focus on yourself and helps you go on with life.

What are the benefits of forgiving someone?

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness can lead to:

  • Healthier relationships.
  • Improved mental health.
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility.
  • Fewer symptoms of depression.
  • Lower blood pressure.
  • A stronger immune system.
  • Improved heart health.
  • Improved self-esteem.

Why is it so easy to hold a grudge?

Being hurt by someone, particularly someone you love and trust, can cause anger, sadness and confusion. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by bitterness or a sense of injustice.

Some people are naturally more forgiving than others. But even if you tend to hold a grudge, almost anyone can learn to be more forgiving.

What are the effects of holding a grudge?

If you struggle with finding forgiveness, you might:

  • Bring anger and bitterness into new relationships and experiences.
  • Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present.
  • Become depressed, irritable or anxious.
  • Feel at odds with your spiritual beliefs.
  • Lose valuable and enriching connections with others.

How do I move toward a state of forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a commitment to change. It takes practice. To move toward forgiveness, you might:

  • Recognize the value of forgiveness and how it can improve your life.
  • Identify what needs healing and who you want to forgive.
  • Join a support group or see a counselor.
  • Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you, recognize how those emotions affect your behavior, and work to release them.
  • Choose to forgive the person who's offended you.
  • Release the control and power that the offending person and situation have had in your life.

What happens if I can't forgive someone?

Forgiveness can be hard, especially if the person who hurt you doesn't admit wrongdoing. If you find yourself stuck:

  • Practice empathy. Try seeing the situation from the other person's point of view.
  • Ask yourself about the circumstances that may have led the other person to behave in such a way. Perhaps you would have reacted similarly if you faced the same situation.
  • Reflect on times when others have forgiven you.
  • Write in a journal, pray or use guided meditation. Or talk with a person you've found to be wise and compassionate, such as a spiritual leader, a mental health provider, or an impartial loved one or friend.
  • Be aware that forgiveness is a process. Even small hurts may need to be revisited and forgiven again and again.

Does forgiveness guarantee reconciliation?

If the hurtful event involved someone whose relationship you value, forgiveness may lead to reconciliation. But that isn't always the case.

Reconciliation might be impossible if the offender has died or is unwilling to communicate with you. In other cases, reconciliation might not be appropriate. Still, forgiveness is possible — even if reconciliation isn't.

What if the person I'm forgiving doesn't change?

Getting another person to change isn't the point of forgiveness. It's about focusing on what you can control in the here and now. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to have in your life.

What if I'm the one who needs forgiveness?

The first step is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs you've done and how they have affected others. Avoid judging yourself too harshly.

If you're truly sorry for something you've said or done and want forgiveness, consider reaching out to those you've harmed. Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret. Ask for forgiveness without making excuses.

You can't force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Remember, forgiveness is a process. Whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect.

There is a problem with information submitted for this request. Review/update the information highlighted below and resubmit the form.

From Mayo Clinic to your inbox

Sign up for free and stay up to date on research advancements, health tips, current health topics, and expertise on managing health. Click here for an email preview.

Error Email field is required

Error Include a valid email address

To provide you with the most relevant and helpful information, and understand which information is beneficial, we may combine your email and website usage information with other information we have about you. If you are a Mayo Clinic patient, this could include protected health information. If we combine this information with your protected health information, we will treat all of that information as protected health information and will only use or disclose that information as set forth in our notice of privacy practices. You may opt-out of email communications at any time by clicking on the unsubscribe link in the e-mail.

Thank you for subscribing!

You'll soon start receiving the latest Mayo Clinic health information you requested in your inbox.

Sorry something went wrong with your subscription

Please, try again in a couple of minutes

  • Rakel D, ed. Forgiveness. In: Integrative Medicine. 4th ed. Elsevier; 2018. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed Nov. 2, 2022.
  • Forgiveness can improve mental and physical health. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/01/ce-corner.aspx. Accessed Nov. 2, 2022.
  • Silva RS, et al. Forgiveness facilitation in palliative care: A scoping review. JBI Evidence Synthesis. 2020; doi:10.11124/JBISRIR-D-19-00286.
  • Martinez-Diaz P, et al. Victim's perspective of forgiveness seeking behaviors after transgressions. Frontiers in Psychology. 2021; doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.656689.
  • Domestic violence against men
  • Domestic violence against women

Mayo Clinic does not endorse companies or products. Advertising revenue supports our not-for-profit mission.

  • Opportunities

Mayo Clinic Press

Check out these best-sellers and special offers on books and newsletters from Mayo Clinic Press .

  • Mayo Clinic on Incontinence - Mayo Clinic Press Mayo Clinic on Incontinence
  • The Essential Diabetes Book - Mayo Clinic Press The Essential Diabetes Book
  • Mayo Clinic on Hearing and Balance - Mayo Clinic Press Mayo Clinic on Hearing and Balance
  • FREE Mayo Clinic Diet Assessment - Mayo Clinic Press FREE Mayo Clinic Diet Assessment
  • Mayo Clinic Health Letter - FREE book - Mayo Clinic Press Mayo Clinic Health Letter - FREE book
  • Healthy Lifestyle
  • Forgiveness Letting go of grudges and bitterness

Your gift holds great power – donate today!

Make your tax-deductible gift and be a part of the cutting-edge research and care that's changing medicine.

logotype

  • Get a Discount
  • Affiliate Program

The Power of Forgiveness

As the famous saying goes “to error is human, to forgive is divine”, the aspect of forgiveness is very crucial in the lives of people within the society today. No one is perfect, and everybody on one occasion or another is bound to make a mistake which may irritate or annoy another person. When such a person acknowledges his or her mistakes and asks for forgiveness, then it should be granted to them without conditions. Forgiveness is a strong virtue which many people take quite relatively. Different people have different perceptions regarding the issue of forgiveness. Some think that some actions should be forgiven while others should not. Others believe that forgiving a wrongdoer encourages him or her to continue engaging in ill deeds. Therefore, for an individual to forgive, he or she should first have an understanding of the reasons behind forgiving. 

The poem “The Powwow at the End of the World” is one of the most incredible poems by Sherman Alexie, and an award-winning performer, novelist, and filmmaker. Alexie has become popular among many people for his amazing short stories and poems regarding contemporary Native American reservation life. Among his amazing writings include The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fight in Heaven (1998), The Business of Fancy Dancing (1992) and the Smoke Signals (1998). Alexie is the world Heavyweight Poetry Title holder for more than four years due to his incredible poems. The poem “The Powwow at the End of the World” is one of his favorite poems that has enhanced his reputation as a result of the detailed and informative element of forgiveness it portrays. 

essay of the power of forgiveness

The poem “The Powwow at the End of the World” has a forgiveness theme which the writer effectively represents. The aspect of forgiveness is evident throughout the poem through the rhyming first statement of every sentence “many of you tell me that I must forgive and so I shall” The poet uses this rhyming phrase symbolically to lay emphasis on the need for forgives. The poet decides to commit himself towards forgiving hence concluding the rhyming statement by “so I shall”. This is a clear expression of the desire by the poet to forgive hence encouraging the reader to practice forgiveness as well. 

The rhyming statement at the beginning of each statement is a strong suggestion of the dance and drumbeats or rather the Indian public dance at the end of the world where everything will be put all once again. The writer who is portrayed as an Indian is answering to the demand of the audience who require the Indians to forgive the European settlers who invaded their land four centuries ago and oppressed them. The entire poem gives emphasis on forgiveness as well as presenting different effects of modern civilization, dam’s destruction, and allowing the flow of water and return of salmon. 

The poet as well has other different types of symbolism in his poem. The Salmon represents the Native American souls and the hardship that they underwent under the hand of the colonizers. The breaking of the dams, on the contrary, means the tribes traditions and custom revitalization that portrays the challenges that the Spokane people faced under the control of the white man. These challenges always trigger bitterness in their hearts hence finding it difficult to forgive the white people. This clearly depicts the unforgiving theme within the poem which is an accurate reflection of what is happening in the real world today. Different nations apart from Indian that struggled under the hands of the colonizers also hold the same grudges hence making it difficult to forgive them. 

Unforgiveness retards a country’s growth and development. Nations such as Indian as displayed in the poem cannot easily trade and relate with their colonizers hence impeding their economic and social growth. It is important for such nations to forgive and reconcile with their colonizers towards initiating different economic and social growth within their communities. 

The Indian communities have been using different formal structures such as prayers, dances, songs, gestures and virtual symbols to restore harmony among the community members.  They have also been using poems by great Indian poets to portray a particular message aimed at uniting the community members. This poem by Sherman depicts a fundamental reconciliation element that resurrects the spirit of the dead Indians and their powwow culture regarding the end of the world. The poem also reflects the need of the poet for the current generation to uphold forgiveness to live peacefully with one another. The element of language use to reconcile and unite the community as displayed in this poem and other Indian formal structures should be emulated by other communities in different parts of the world. 

As a result of European colonization, the poet used different images to portray the effect of the colonization on the Indian people. For instance, he uses lighting fires and leaping fish to present an impression of fury and anger for different inhuman activities conducted against his people. The poem slightly gives a contradiction by portraying an unforgiving theme whereby the writer claims that he will forgive when pigs fly. As stated at the beginning of this essay, different people have different perceptions regarding forgiveness. This is why we can see the poet driven by anger claiming that he was not ready to forgive despite the great demand by the audience. 

The importance of forgiveness should not be underestimated. Forgiveness helps us eliminate hard feelings, and hence we feel light. Forgiveness helps remove the element of bitterness that eats up people peace of mind. Many psychologists have attributed as a means of self-fulfillment claiming that those who easily forgive others are much more satisfied and responsible as opposed to those who keep grudges. This is evident in the poem as the writer feels bitter about the colonizers and the things they did to his people hence claiming that he would forgive them when pigs fly. From this, we can also identify bitterness as an element that hinders forgiveness. Many people have not been able to forgive their friends out of bitterness which develops to other disastrous activities such as murder or family breakup. 

The poem by Alexie ends with the statement “many of you tell me that I must forgive and so I shall”. Here the author means that the end of time will come when they would all come together and forgive hence their lives getting back to how they were before the colonizers. This shows that forgiving brings about healing. Forgiveness enables people to reunite hence contributing to growth and development within their community. This is why the writer uses powwow to mean the end time reconciliation where the community members will be reunited and peaceful once again. Despite the last sentence of the poem showing that they were not willing to forgive until they were reunited and the Indian life restored, the main aim behind all this is to get forgiveness and peacefully move on with life. 

When a person crosses or hurts another person, the offended person may find it difficult to forgive. Hurting a person directly or indirectly makes it hard for them to forgive the other person. This is evident in the poem as the Indians whose ancestors were hurt by the colonizers being quite angry despite not being the direct culprits of the actions of the colonizers. The fact that the colonizers hurt Indian ancestors’ make Indians feel hurt. Hence, it is difficult for them to forgive. The ease in forgiving is sometimes determined by the extent to which an individual’s trust is breached. The more the trust is breached, the more it becomes difficult to forgive and vice versa. For instance, the Indians who had their land grabbed by the colonizers found it harder to forgive. However, despite the intensity of bleach, it is advisable to forgive. This is because piling up bad intentions to people who did wrong to us will only stress and make us suffer more.  

It is evident in this essay that unforgiveness has dire consequences to those who fail to forgive. Failure to forgive may piles up bitterness which may result in tragic encounters with an individual. When a person does not forgive he or she holds on to bad experiences that keep haunting them and triggers negative feelings of anger, desire for revenge, resentment, and hatred that makes him not want to see the other person. As the poem portrays, the Indians are ready to forgive hence demanding from the poet to forgive. It is important for people to forgive one another towards enhancing a good relation hence moving their lives ahead. Forgiving relieves one from mental burdens, health problems, bandages, and other challenges such as injury or death that may result due to the desire for revenge.

Related essays

  • The Fall of the Soviet Union
  • Reasons for the Scramble
  • I-O Psychology
  • Swift’s Idea of Utopia in Gulliver’s Travels
  • Ethical Dilemma
  • Education 1
  • Informative 30
  • Literature 15
  • Management 6
  • Philosophy 3
  • Sociology 8
  • Technology 3

discount

for 30-page order

essay of the power of forgiveness

for 50-page orders

essay of the power of forgiveness

for 100-page orders

  • Academic Writers
  • PhD and Master Level Writers Available
  • Everything Double Spaced
  • 300 Words/Page
  • Communicate with Your Writer
  • All Paper 12pt Font Times New Roman
  • Professional Researches
  • Free Bibliography Page
  • Free Cover Page

Our Benefits

  • Only Original Papers
  • Always On-time Delivery
  • 24/7 Customer Support
  • Plagiarism-Free Content
  • Satisfaction Guaranteed
  • Complete Confidentiality
  • Moneyback Guarantee

payeer

Ilene Strauss Cohen Ph.D.

Forgiveness

3 key principles of forgiveness, releasing resentment and cultivating compassion..

Posted July 7, 2021 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

  • The Importance of Forgiveness
  • Find a therapist near me
  • Forgiveness, a concept that has existed across cultural lines for centuries, is intended to restore severed connections.
  • Holding onto one's anger provides a shield of comfort, so forgiveness takes time and isn't always easy.
  • Being able to forgive promotes calm and provides new perspective, clarity, and objectivity.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

No matter our origins, we are all emotional and social beings seeking human connection, a need that is perhaps all the more urgent when we’ve been wronged. Forgiveness , a concept that has existed across cultural lines for centuries, is intended to restore those severed connections, but the practice is by no means easy. When we’ve been hurt by others, our initial reactions are often fueled by anger , resentment, or vengeance. Holding onto our anger brings us a shield of comfort; it acts as a way to bind our anxiety around the difficulties that relationships bring to our lives.

First and foremost, forgiveness is a process, meaning that it takes time and isn’t always easy. To forgive someone means making a conscious effort to let go of something hurtful that happened to you by releasing negative thought patterns, anger, resentment, or pain. By engaging in this emotion -focused process, you are making an active choice to no longer suffer from the harm that was done to you.

When we see forgiveness this way, it becomes clear that forgiveness is also freedom — freedom from the past and even from future victimization. Because when you forgive the painful events of your past, they no longer define nor control your present. So by taking life's pitfalls as opportunities to grow instead of places to dwell in hopelessness, you are reclaiming your power. You are reclaiming your life.

Forgiveness helps us calm down and provides us with new perspective, clarity, and objectivity. For example, think of a time when you were very angry about something. Was it hard to be objective and transparent? Did you largely blame the other person or exaggerate the events to justify your reactions?

When we’re upset, our judgment tends to become clouded or inaccurate. This is not to say that you don't have any right to your feelings; you certainly do. However, by forgiving yourself and the other party, you can make sure that your perception of the situation is more balanced. Cultivating forgiveness will allow you to clear your mind and view the problem from a more objective position.

In addition, finding a way to forgive will allow you to become a more compassionate person. Most people have demons, triggers, and issues they are dealing with and don’t mean to hurt others intentionally. While that doesn't make their actions okay, when you’re able to see people in their own context, you’re better able to understand their reasoning and you can take their offenses less personally.

So, you've decided you’re ready to forgive. Congratulations! To help you prepare for your journey, here are a few key principles you can teach yourself.

1. Be Honest

Forgiveness includes acknowledging that you are hurt, accepting the pain as your own, and being honest with yourself about the effect it's had on you. Forgiveness happens by being honest about what it was like for you to be betrayed, lied to, offended, mistreated, and abused. Forgiveness is not about making excuses for others' misbehaving; it doesn't make it okay that you were hurt, and it certainly does not mean that you forget the offense. Instead, practice acknowledging it as part of your history so you can move forward.

2. Be Vulnerable

It takes a heavy amount of vulnerability and strength to forgive. It also takes self-awareness to acknowledge that someone has negatively impacted us. By looking at ourselves and our wounded relationships with openness , we can appreciate our vulnerabilities that come with being human.

3. Be Humble

Being humble is having the awareness that you are no better than anyone else. Especially with matters of forgiveness, it's essential to remain humble. Humble people do not expect anything from others and give lovingly (including their forgiveness) without any expectations attached. To reach that level of forgiveness, one must practice humility and remain open to positive outcomes.

Ilene Strauss Cohen Ph.D.

Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D. , is a psychotherapist and blogger, who teaches in the Department of Counseling at Barry University.

  • Find a Therapist
  • Find a Treatment Center
  • Find a Psychiatrist
  • Find a Support Group
  • Find Teletherapy
  • United States
  • Brooklyn, NY
  • Chicago, IL
  • Houston, TX
  • Los Angeles, CA
  • New York, NY
  • Portland, OR
  • San Diego, CA
  • San Francisco, CA
  • Seattle, WA
  • Washington, DC
  • Asperger's
  • Bipolar Disorder
  • Chronic Pain
  • Eating Disorders
  • Passive Aggression
  • Personality
  • Goal Setting
  • Positive Psychology
  • Stopping Smoking
  • Low Sexual Desire
  • Relationships
  • Child Development
  • Therapy Center NEW
  • Diagnosis Dictionary
  • Types of Therapy

January 2024 magazine cover

Overcome burnout, your burdens, and that endless to-do list.

  • Coronavirus Disease 2019
  • Affective Forecasting
  • Neuroscience

Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

Workplace Articles & More

The power of forgiveness at work, ever carry a grudge or harbor revenge fantasies about a colleague or boss it’s likely costing you and your workplace..

Over the last two decades, much research has been published about the positive impact of forgiveness , particularly on the forgiver and in relationships. Now, a new study —building on a smaller but growing body of research in the workplace—supports the power of forgiveness to potentially improve well-being and productivity in professional settings.

Conflict among colleagues is inevitable, and—left unheeded—associated with significant stress, health problems (both mental and physical), and poor productivity.  Researchers set out to explore the role of forgiveness in ameliorating these negative impacts.

The participants—more than 200 employees working in office jobs in Washington, DC, or manufacturing jobs in the Midwest—responded to questionnaires about their levels of forgiveness, productivity, and well-being.

essay of the power of forgiveness

The first survey asked respondents to focus on a specific offense, and how they believed it affected them. The second study looked at participants’ general tendency to be forgiving and their general state of mind and work habits over the previous month.

In both cases, forgiveness was linked to increased productivity, decreased absenteeism (fewer days missing work), and fewer mental and physical health problems, such as sadness and headaches. In the second study, these benefits were partly explained by reductions in interpersonal stress that went along with a forgiving disposition.

This new research is important to employees and employers alike, as a lack of forgiveness negatively affects the individuals involved and organizations as a whole. Holding on to negative feelings after a conflict may lead to disengagement at work, a lack of collaboration, and aggressive behavior. Carrying a grudge is also associated with increased stress and a host of negative emotions, including anger, hostility, and vengeful rumination.

Since many people who have been in conflict need to continue to work together, forgiveness can be an effective coping tool, and a way to repair relationships and restore trust—both of which are key to effective work cultures.

More evidence of the power of forgiveness

In 2012, my team at Courageous Leadership LLC worked with employees at Google to build a more courageous culture, including the courage to forgive (one of the keys to healthy ongoing work relationships). We had employees share times when they failed to act on their values at work, to admit they didn’t understand something, or to speak up when they thought they had a better idea. This was designed to remind everyone how easy it is to act outside of our values in stressful situations—to do something that might merit forgiveness.

Participants then practiced taking courageous action. We had them use the REACH model (developed by Everett L. Worthington, one of the coauthors of the new workplace study) to practice forgiveness by identifying current grudges and work on forgiving (not condoning) the behavior. Participants also remembered and shared when others had forgiven them.

More on Forgiveness

Read and watch Fred Luskin explain "What is Forgiveness?"

Discover the eight keys to forgiveness .

How forgiving are you? Take our quiz !

Want to be more forgiving? Try these forgiveness practices .

Our program also showed positive impact. Participants reported a greater understanding of the power of stressful situations to negatively affect behavior. They also reported feeling better and more connected afterward; as one noted: “I had a deepened sense of lightening inside, like letting go of heavy weights. I feel the forgiveness exercise for me was very powerful.” Participants also took more social risks, like offering new ideas, admitting fears or concerns, and asking for or offering help.

Research shows that this kind of forgiveness can even impact employees who aren’t involved in the conflict. When people see others practicing forgiveness (and other virtuous behaviors) at work, it often fosters positive emotions that can improve decision-making, cognitive functioning, and the quality of relationships.

How to foster forgiveness at work

Unresolved stress from interpersonal conflict often dampens our cognitive and compassionate capacities, making it hard to find a way to forgive. Drawing on the implications of their study, the researchers offer individuals and organizations some suggestions to foster forgiveness at work: 


  • Model forgiveness at work , particularly if you’re a leader. Leaders’ behavior often has the greatest impact on organizational culture, a kind of contagion effect. Leaders who model forgiveness on a regular basis are cueing similar behavior in others.
  • Apologize and attempt to make restitutions. If we don’t take responsibility for our mistakes, distrust grows and the fear of something happening again can be worse than the original incident.
  • Rebuild trust by working on a common task , creating new experiences and memories of cooperation.
  • Conduct interventions (sometimes best done by third parties) to address conflict and foster forgiveness. Invest in programs to build understanding and teach evidence-based tools for ongoing forgiveness in the workplace.

There’s an old saying (attributed to everyone from the Buddha to Carrie Fisher) that goes, “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” If you’re holding onto a grudge at work, you could be sharing the poison with your colleagues.

Forgiveness, of course, does not mean we condone or ignore bad behavior. Every workplace should have policies and procedures for dealing quickly with serious transgressions. However, if you do feel ready and the situation warrants it, give forgiveness a try. It could help you, your colleagues, and your workplace.

About the Author

Brooke deterline.

Brooke Deterline is the CEO of Courageous Leadership, LLC .

You May Also Enjoy

The Forgiveness Instinct

This article — and everything on this site — is funded by readers like you.

Become a subscribing member today. Help us continue to bring “the science of a meaningful life” to you and to millions around the globe.

U.S. flag

An official website of the United States government

The .gov means it’s official. Federal government websites often end in .gov or .mil. Before sharing sensitive information, make sure you’re on a federal government site.

The site is secure. The https:// ensures that you are connecting to the official website and that any information you provide is encrypted and transmitted securely.

  • Publications
  • Account settings
  • Advanced Search
  • Journal List
  • Front Psychiatry

Forgiveness: A Key Component of Healing From Moral Injury?

Suzette brémault-phillips.

1 Faculty of Rehabilitation Medicine, Department of Occupational Therapy, University of Alberta, Edmonton, AB, Canada

2 HiMARC, Faculty of Rehabilitation Medicine, University of Alberta, Edmonton, AB, Canada

Terry Cherwick

3 Royal Canadian Chaplain Service, Department of National Defence, Edmonton, AB, Canada

Lorraine Alison Smith-MacDonald

Eric vermetten.

4 Department of Psychiatry, Leiden University Medical Center, Leiden, Netherlands

Associated Data

The original contributions presented in the study are included in the article. Further inquiries can be directed to the corresponding author.

Service members and veterans can be exposed to potentially traumatic and morally injurious experiences (PMIEs) including participating in, witnessing, or failing to prevent an act(s) that transgresses their core beliefs. Violation of one's deeply held morals and values can be profoundly distressing and shatter one's sense of self at the deepest level. Relationships with self, others, the world, and for some, the Sacred, can also be fractured. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and/or Moral Injury (MI) can result. Left unresolved, MI can leave individuals struggling with guilt, shame, cognitive dissonance, and negative self-attributions. A holistic approach that addresses the psychological and spiritual harm associated with MI is warranted. We wonder if forgiveness can help individuals struggling with MI to address the harm caused by actions or inactions, release negative emotions, and mend relationships. Commonly used by Spiritual/Religious (S/R) Leaders, forgiveness practices are increasingly being explored by Mental Health Professionals as a complement to evidence-based treatment approaches. This article provides case examples that illustrate the use of forgiveness practices that promote recovery and identifies programs used in clinical practice that incorporate forgiveness. Research is yet needed to better understand the importance of forgiveness in the treatment and healing of PTSD and/or MI. This requires an interdisciplinary discourse between Mental Health Professionals and S/R Leaders working in the field of MI. Such engagement and integrated use of forgiveness practices may yield improved outcomes not only for service members and veterans, but for all those struggling as a result of PTSD and/or MI.

Introduction

Deep moral woundedness, more recently termed “Moral Injury” (MI), can be a key aspect of post-traumatic stress injuries ( 1 , 2 ). Moral Injury has been defined as a “particular trauma syndrome including psychological, existential, behavioral, and interpersonal issues that emerge following perceived violations of deep moral beliefs by oneself or trusted individuals” ( 3 ). MI is preceded by exposure to potentially morally injurious experiences (PMIEs) such as participating in, witnessing, or failing to prevent an act that transgresses one's beliefs and values ( 4 ). Feelings of guilt, shame, and betrayal; emotional dysregulation and negative self-attributions are associated with MI, as are a shattering of one's sense of self, meaning, and purpose; corrosion of one's soul; and erosion of one's sense of values, beliefs, and a benevolent orderly world ( 1 – 18 ). Relationships can also be fractured with self, others, and for some, the Sacred—where the Sacred is understood as what is most meaningful and significant to a person, which would include concepts of the transcendent, holy, divine, ultimate being, and mystery ( 19 – 24 ).

We wonder whether individuals experiencing MI may benefit from an integrated psychological and spiritual approach, and propose consideration of forgiveness as a means of facilitating recovery from MI. During psychotherapy, Mental Health Professionals may see clients struggling with MI-related unforgiveness but without skills to address it ( 25 ). Spiritual/Religious (S/R) Leaders on interdisciplinary teams may support healing given their attunement to the S/R needs of service members and veterans and familiarity with forgiveness. S/R Leaders can establish trusting, non-judgmental relationships; convey that no topic is off-limits for thoughtful and compassionate discussion; and support reintegration into a moral community (be it religious, secular, familial, or other) ( 26 – 28 ).

The purpose of this article is to examine ways in which giving and receiving forgiveness may help restore one's sense of self and relationships. Additionally, it explores forgiveness in the context of MI from an interdisciplinary perspective that integrates mental and S/R domains and forgiveness practices as interventions.

Forgiveness Practices as Interventions

Forgiveness is a complex neurocognitive, affective, and spiritual process ( 29 ). A literature search yielded growing attention to forgiveness as a process and practice and increasing interest in it across disciplines ( 30 ). While no universally-accepted definition of forgiveness has been found, numerous understandings of forgiveness have emerged and critical ingredients of the process have been identified. Hartz isolated letting go of anger and reducing negative thoughts and feelings about self and others as being central to forgiveness ( 31 ), with forgiveness fundamentally calling for a shift in motivation away from retaliation and avoidance (unforgiveness) and toward undeserved goodwill for the perceived wrongdoer (forgiveness). Importantly, forgiveness occurs along a continuum from no forgiveness through complete forgiveness and potential relational restoration ( 31 ). This process can positively impact personal wellbeing and play a vital role in restoring social relationships ( 32 ). Seeking and receiving forgiveness has helped people find wholeness, offer unconditional forgiveness to others and themselves, and move them forward in their recovery ( 33 – 36 ).

Various approaches to forgiveness may be effective when dealing with MI. One comprehensive understanding of forgiveness is Enright's triadic forgiveness approach ( 37 ) which encompasses (i) forgiveness of the self, (ii) giving and receiving forgiveness from others, and (iii) forgiveness of the Sacred ( 38 ). Understanding the forgiveness triad and associated practices and processes can help Mental Health Professionals and S/R Leaders support recovery from shame and guilt ( 39 , 40 ) that can compromise a person's relationships horizontally (with self and others) and vertically (with the Sacred) ( 20 , 33 , 41 , 42 ).

Giving and receiving horizontal and vertical forgiveness is reflected in Canadian General (retired) Dallaire's PTSD journey following the 1994 Rwandan Massacre ( 43 ). Dallaire recognized that MI-related guilt and anger impeded his healing. His relationships with self and others were fractured and his faith destroyed. He noted: “ (faith) was something that I... fought against in the post-Rwanda genocide period. God had abandoned 800,000 Rwandans, my force, myself, and did absolutely nothing to stop it” ( 44 ). His anger and guilt recently began to dissolve when he received letters from senior UN figures who acknowledged and took responsibility for failing to heed his warnings, “ I wasn't feeling the guilt of having carried the whole catastrophe… and that started to reopen the door to going back to church” ( 44 ). Giving and receiving forgiveness facilitated healing of his horizontal and vertical relationships ( 45 ).

Forgiveness practices and interventions have been shown to be helpful in addressing mental and emotional health. Meta-analyses indicate that people receiving forgiveness interventions report more forgiveness than those with no intervention. Forgiveness has been shown to provide psychological, mental, and spiritual health benefits; afford freedom from guilt and shame; decrease anxiety, depression, and anger; and increase self-esteem, hope, and a positive disposition for oneself, others, and the Sacred ( 46 – 48 ). Further, a process-based intervention has been found to be more effective than a shorter cognitive decision-based model ( 46 – 49 ). Components of effective practices and interventions include recalling the offense, empathizing with the offender, making a choice, committing to forgive ( 38 ), taking responsibility for one's actions, and making amendments where appropriate. These components are found in MI interventions such as Spiritually-Oriented Cognitive Processing Therapy (which includes forgiveness), and the Impact of Killing program [which requires development of a personalized forgiveness plan that serves as a springboard to self-forgiveness ( 26 )].

Forgiveness practices in the spiritual domain are rooted in S/R and cultural narratives/rituals. In addition to a reduction of negative emotions, greater peace of mind, and improved quality of life that self-forgiveness might offer, forgiveness practices found in traditional cultures and S/R traditions can also enable repentance, realignment, cleansing ( 29 ) and reconnecting with the Sacred and community. Where individuals have lost meaning and purpose, reconnection to the Sacred offers a sense of hope in the present or afterlife ( 50 ). To that end, Native American traditions offer the purification lodge, Catholicism offers confession, Judaism offers the 10 Days of Repentance, Shamanic traditions offer journeys to the spirit world, and Buddhism offers the wheel of karma ( 51 ). In the Catholic tradition's confessional model, steps to forgiveness include examination of conscience, expressing regret, naming a mistake, having a change of heart, seeking forgiveness from God, and making amends with self and others ( 51 ). Processes drawn from these traditions can support recovery, and when combined with a person-centered, biopsychosocial-spiritual approach, may help service members and veterans make sense of MI; give and receive forgiveness; and reconnect with themselves, their families, larger communities, and the Sacred ( 52 – 57 ).

Repairing Relationships

Forgiveness results when relationships are made right ( 4 , 15 , 34 , 35 , 58 – 61 ). In the following paragraphs, we discuss three relational aspects of forgiveness: of self, to and from the other, and with the Sacred.

Forgiveness of Self

Self-forgiveness concerns how one views oneself and aims to free the self from guilt or shame by accepting responsibility for having violated socio-cultural and S/R values and beliefs. Self-forgiveness enhances wellbeing by promoting relational repair and replacing negative condemning emotions with positive, affirming ones ( 62 ). Within the military environment, self-forgiveness can enable service members to thrive despite encountering ethical challenges ( 34 , 63 ). Self-forgiveness has also been identified as a potentially important component of MI healing, with Griffin et al. theorizing that self-forgiveness may “provide a framework by which to satisfy fundamental needs for belonging and esteem that moral pain often obstructs” [( 64 ), p. 78].

Forgiveness to and From the Other

Interpersonally, forgiveness aims to mend relationships. Central factors of forgiveness are cultivating an empathic perspective toward the offender; genuinely wishing the offender well while releasing hurt and angry emotions; and reframing the transgression through a more cognitive and less emotionally reactive interpretation ( 38 ). Further, seeking forgiveness has been positively correlated with mental health ( 65 , 66 ). Those who receive forgiveness report experiencing a sense of relief, a desire not to hurt the other again, and an improved relationship with the other ( 67 , 68 ).

Forgiveness With the Sacred

Forgiveness may also involve forgiving and/or being forgiven by that which is beyond oneself ( 69 , 70 ). When exposed to PMIEs, people often express anger at the Sacred who they believe has let them down or abandoned them in their time of need. For some individuals, forgiving and receiving forgiveness from the Sacred is necessary before it is possible to heal from MI. Forgiveness by the Sacred is associated with increased self-forgiveness ( 67 ), suggesting that when a person feels forgiven, they are more able to extend compassion to themselves and others ( 71 ).

Case Illustrations

The impact of forgiveness is best exemplified using case illustrations. These demonstrate the effect of forgiveness as it applies individually and collectively when facilitated jointly by Mental Health Professionals and S/R Leaders. In the following paragraphs, we describe two cases that offer a window into ways in which forgiveness can occur. Each case describes forgiveness practices and interventions used to facilitate a process of recovery and relational repair. While our case examples are drawn from military service members and their deployment experiences, the application of forgiveness as an intervention can extend more broadly to all affected by MI.

After serving 16 years, completing a final tour in Afghanistan, and being involuntarily released, a service member began experiencing night terrors, insomnia, depression, and anxiety. Relentless images associated with having taken the life of another person tormented him. At the urging of his family, he reluctantly entered therapy. During a course of cognitive processing therapy, it became clear that the primary trauma event involved the act of killing. Identifying MI and his strong feelings of anger and unforgiveness, his therapist encouraged him to meet with a S/R Leader as a complement to his therapy.

Forgiveness Practices

While meeting with a S/R Leader and engaging in an intensive narration of the PMIE, he disclosed that he resented his Chain-of-Command, was unable to forgive God for letting the event happen and hated himself. He expressed that he was repulsed by what he had done and struggled to reconcile his actions with who he was and his beliefs and values. His existential pain was palpable, as were his feelings of unworthiness to be in relationships with his wife, children, others, and God. He indicated that he had considered ending his life to stop the suffering. Honest and non-judgemental discourse with a S/R Leader enabled him to gradually forgive his Chain-of-Command and himself and ask for and offer forgiveness to God. He eventually engaged in a practice of reconciliation that aligned with his S/R beliefs and practices.

Repairing Relationship

Forgiveness allowed him to face the PMIE, reflect on its impact, extend and receive forgiveness, and find resolution and closure. This increased his ability to engage in and further benefit from mental health interventions with his therapist.

Veterans from a military unit, embarking on a “Return with a Mission” trip, journeyed to memorable places of their deployment. At one point, they began making their way to a location high on a steep mountain trail where one of their comrades had tragically died 25 years earlier. Arriving at the site, they affixed a commemorative plaque to a tree inscribed with their colleague's name, rank and the date of her passing. Each silently reflected on the mission, their colleague, the role they played in her life and death, as well as the moments that transpired that fateful day.

Forgiveness Practice

The veterans, with a MHP and chaplain among them, gathered together in a circle and engaged in a ritual at the place of her passing. Emotions ran high and tears were shed. Each person was invited to light a candle at the base of the tree, and silently contemplate the following sentiments: “I remember you and my lack of doing something that could have protected you. I ask your forgiveness and forgive myself and others for my/our omission. I release you and accept your forgiveness. I choose now to move from darkness to light.” Each then resumed their place in the circle. Testimonials were read and a prayer was offered by the group.

The veterans were able to release the guilt, unforgiveness, and shame they had carried, and experienced mending of relationships with their colleague, self, others and the Sacred—re-uniting, re-membering, and becoming “one” once again. Engaging in this journey enabled the veterans to make meaning of the event, reconcile and heal in a way that they had not been able to experience before, and pursue further growth and therapeutic opportunities.

MI may necessitate that Mental Health Professionals adopt a different approach to trauma than is commonly used with PTSD ( 72 ). This article examined forgiveness and forgiveness practices for service members and veterans struggling with MI. By way of two vignettes, it showcased how forgiveness practices can facilitate restoration of one's sense of self, relationships with others, and for some, the Sacred. We questioned whether conventional models of evidence-based interventions for MI are lacking reference to forgiveness or forgiveness practices and may benefit from integrating these into clinical care ( 17 , 59 , 72 ).

Forgiveness can help individuals recognize the weight of MI and their (in)actions, release negative emotions, and mend relationships. As a discourse, however, forgiveness is commonly reserved for S/R Leaders and is not well incorporated into mental health contexts. Forgiveness practices long-employed by S/R traditions, or those that draw on S/R principles, may yield a more holistic approach to MI service-provision. Such practices may enable service members and veterans to face shame and guilt associated with actions or inactions, let go of negative emotions, and mend crucial relationships ( 62 , 63 , 71 , 73 , 74 ). Integrating forgiveness practices may facilitate healing of MI and associated conditions such as PTSD, anxiety, and depression. When incorporating forgiveness, collaboration between S/R Leaders and Mental Health Professionals would be valuable ( 18 , 24 , 53 ).

While some clinicians associate PTSD and MI symptoms with maladaptive cognitions ( 75 ), there is a paucity of research on cognitions associated with MI. MI may in fact signal that something one has experienced is fundamentally “wrong.” Therefore, rather than reflecting a maladaptive cognition, MI may critically reflect adaptive cognitions, with the resulting struggle arising when things are not “as they ought to be” ( 76 ). As a result, recovery can require an alternative approach to evidence-based trauma therapies.

As the literature suggests, spiritual strength programs that incorporate forgiveness concepts and practices may facilitate reconciliation and healing ( 77 ). Several examples of programs used in clinical treatment are of note. The Forgiveness Interview Protocol (FIP) is a narrative therapy writing process that utilizes distinct theoretical and clinical disciplines for mental health counseling and S/R care ( 78 ). Acceptance and Forgiveness Therapy (AFT) has recently been introduced by Pernicano et al. ( 79 ). As a psychospiritual group intervention, AFT experientially guides veterans with MI from a trauma-focused to restorative view of self. S/R Leaders and Mental Health Professionals jointly deliver psychoeducation, facilitate therapeutic interaction, and encourage home practice. The curriculum includes evidence-driven psychological interventions, spiritually-oriented practices, metaphors, stories, and art to illustrate concepts and facilitate self-expression. Another example is Forgiveness Bibliotherapy ( 80 ). The efficacy of an 8-week Forgiveness Bibliotherapy intervention with undergraduate nursing students was tested using Enrich's 8 keys to forgiveness ( 81 ). After reading and providing a weekly reflection on each chapter, forgiveness and forgiveness-related outcome measures pre/post and one-month follow-up showed that the experimental group had significantly greater improvements in forgiveness, anxiety, depression, and fatigue. Such promising practices merit further study and implementation.

There are also limitations and cautions to the concept of forgiveness. First, forgiveness is a process. It may take time for individuals to face events at the root of unforgiveness and acknowledge actions, inactions and harms done to themselves or others. The timing of and pace at which forgiveness occurs is unique to each person, with people needing to be ready to forgive and choosing to do so. Further, for those who have experienced abuse, forgiveness necessitates particular care and an understanding that it is not necessary to engage in a relationship with an offender to forgive them, particularly if it would put them in harm's way.

It is vital to have an understanding of forgiveness from an interdisciplinary perspective. The study of the role of forgiveness in the treatment and healing of MI and complementarity of approaches to forgiveness that can be used by Mental Health Professionals and S/R Leaders is of critical importance. With mental health practices having a different discourse than S/R approaches, ways in which S/R forgiveness practices complement evidence-based interventions may be needed. For example, Mental Health Professionals tend to speak about “treatment” and “interventions,” while S/R Leaders speak about “practices” and “healing.” Such approaches can be complementary and benefit not only service members and veterans, but all those experiencing MI as a result of exposure to PMIEs.

Further research into MI is warranted and would benefit from an interdisciplinary approach. This includes study of: (i) the relationship between MI and forgiveness, (ii) S/R-informed prevention strategies, (iii) S/R components of forgiveness, (iv) types of modalities most conducive to forgiveness, and (v) the importance of healing relationships through forgiveness. While self-forgiveness as a concept is increasingly recognized, greater consideration is needed regarding additional topics such as the relationship between forgiveness and MI from victim and offender perspectives, triadic forgiveness, and relational repair with the Sacred. Moreover, to yet be distilled are the stages and elements of forgiveness (e.g., examination of conscience, penance, absolution, and recompense or restitution, and hope) specific to MI. These topics require further exploration for proper integration into practice. These considerations would deepen our understanding of forgiveness as a means of facilitating healing from MI.

Various practices and interventions explore forgiveness in relation to MI. This article examined ways in which giving and receiving forgiveness can help restore one's sense of self by reconciling relationships with oneself, others, and the Sacred. We feel it is crucial to consider integrating forgiveness practices into clinical practice. Recovery from MI may require a novel and intentional interdisciplinary discourse between S/R Leaders and Mental Health Professionals. Recognition of the expertise offered by each discipline will be vital to this engagement. Advancement of the field of MI would benefit from further collaborative research by these disciplines regarding the role of forgiveness in the treatment and healing of PTSD and MI.

Data Availability Statement

Author contributions.

SB-P, TC, LS-M, JH, and EV participated in the concept and writing of this manuscript and approved the final version of the manuscript.

We acknowledge the Nyples-Tans PTSD Fund to Leiden University, and in-kind contributions from the Leiden University, the University of Alberta and the Canadian Armed Forces.

Conflict of Interest

The authors declare that the research was conducted in the absence of any commercial or financial relationships that could be construed as a potential conflict of interest.

Publisher's Note

All claims expressed in this article are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of their affiliated organizations, or those of the publisher, the editors and the reviewers. Any product that may be evaluated in this article, or claim that may be made by its manufacturer, is not guaranteed or endorsed by the publisher.

Acknowledgments

The authors would like to acknowledge those who serve and have served, particularly those who have courageously struggled with MI as a result of exposure to PMIEs. You have been our teachers and inspiration.

Home / Essay Samples / Life / Emotion / Forgiveness

The Power of Forgiveness in Classic and Modern Literature

Essay details

Life , Literature

Emotion , Writers

Forgiveness , The Tempest

  • Words: 1104 (2 pages)

Please note! This essay has been submitted by a student.

Table of Contents

The tempest: forgiveness as a journey to self-discovery, a tale of two cities: forgiveness in the midst of revolution, the kite runner: the complex threads of forgiveness.

Get quality help now

essay of the power of forgiveness

Verified writer

Proficient in: Emotion , Writers

essay of the power of forgiveness

+ 75 relevant experts are online

More Forgiveness Related Essays

Forgiveness is an important, frequently misunderstood human experience. Once an individual experiences being hurt or wronged by someone, the feeling of anger or resentment becomes the natural reaction. The idea of forgiving the ...

Trying to draw fine lines about redemption can be tricky; however, I’ve always found that it goes hand in hand with forgiveness. In most situations, redemption begins with being forgiven by whoever it is that you wronged. There ...

Punishment means the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution of an offense, whereas forgiveness means the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. The Scarlet Letter written by Nathaniel Hawthorne depicts ...

In The Tempest, Prospero shows quite a development in himself starting as a cruel and vengeful sorcerer, to finding the humanity and forgiveness within himself. Prospero starts the play by seeking revenge for what Alonso, ...

“Thank You, Ma’m,” is the title of the short story written by Langston Hughes. This fictional story is about a boy named Roger who tries to steal Mrs. Luella Bates’ purse. Instead of calling the police, Mrs. Luella Bates ...

Focusing mainly on Felix and Miranda, the feudal meaning has been further developed through this relationship. Miranda and Felix in Hag-seed are reimagined versions of Prospero and Miranda. However, unlike The Tempest, Miranda ...

Yet Shakespeare implicitly asks if Caliban is as different from his human neighbors as he seems. The character Antonio is not only human but also a powerful duke and yet he shares many of Caliban’s nastiest tendencies. Like ...

“The battleline between good and evil runs through the heart of every man” - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. In both the play “The Tempest” by William Shakespeare and the novel” Heart of Darkness” by Joseph Conrad, they mirror a ...

The Tempest is shaped by Chrsistian humanist values that require redemption, more specifically Montaigne’s views on ethics and empathy. In a metaphysical reading of The Tempest, Shakespeare offers a nuanced portrayal of the ...

apologies

This feature is still in progress, but don't worry – you can place an order for an essay with our expert writers

We use cookies to offer you the best experience. By continuing, we’ll assume you agree with our Cookies policy .

Choose your writer among 300 professionals!

You cannot copy content from our website. If you need this sample, insert an email and we'll deliver it to you.

Please, provide real email address.

This email is exists.

Latest Stories

The transformative power of forgiveness, thursday, december 27, 2018.

essay of the power of forgiveness

Lawrence W. Reed

Thirty-five years ago today—on December 27, 1983—the world witnessed a most extraordinary act of forgiveness. In Rome’s Rebibbia Prison, Pope John Paul II met for the first time with Mehmet Ali Ağca, the very terrorist who shot him four times in St. Peter’s Square just two and a half years earlier. The two men sat inches from each other for 21 minutes in Ağca’s cell, engrossed in conversation. Eyeball to eyeball as they clasped hands, John Paul uttered firmly, “I forgive you.”

A convicted murderer, radical extremist, notorious thief, and prison escapee before he assaulted the pope, Ağca hardly invited a semblance of sympathy. Nonetheless, John Paul gave him that and so much more.

Ağca served nearly 30 years behind Italian and Turkish bars for his crime. While in prison, he became a Christian and a changed man. He was released in 2010. Four years later, on the anniversary of John Paul’s prison visit, Ağca traveled to the Vatican to lay roses on the late pontiff’s tomb.

I admit to puzzlement about this matter of forgiveness. Sometimes it’s easy, other times so demanding it seems unthinkable. I don’t know if I could muster it under all circumstances, especially on those occasions when the perpetrator of a wrong exhibits no remorse. It seems to me that some measure of penitence or regret ought to be a prerequisite for forgiveness, yet some people offer it without condition. Perhaps they do so in the belief that it may induce the very contriteness the subject has yet to show.

The Nature of Forgiveness

That generous act of mercy and compassion—of unqualified forgiveness—is the catalyst that transforms the rest of Valjean’s life. How many of us could have done what Bishop Myriel did?

In Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables , a recently paroled Jean Valjean is taken in by the parish priest, Bishop Myriel. Fed and sheltered from the cold, Valjean betrays his rescuer by stealing his silver and spiriting away amid the night. He’s quickly apprehended by the police, who bring him back to the priest to confess. Bishop Myriel covers for him, insisting to the police that the silver was a gift and that Valjean had, in fact, left more behind that he should have taken with him, as well. That generous act of mercy and compassion—of unqualified forgiveness—is the catalyst that transforms the rest of Valjean’s life.

How many of us could have done what Bishop Myriel did? And if he hadn’t gone that extra mile on Valjean’s behalf—if he had simply been truthful and allowed the justice system to take its course—would he have been in the wrong? I don’t have good answers to these questions. But there’s something about the forgiveness of the fictional Bishop Myriel and the very real John Paul II that I admire and aspire to. Perhaps that’s simply because I know what the eventual outcomes were. Neither of those good men, however, could have known those outcomes for certain at the moment they forgave. My head is swimming with all the alternatives that might have played out. I feel here like the philosopher who poses lots of questions but offers no hard answers.

The English poet Alexander Pope famously coined the phrase, “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” If true, that would certainly explain why we humans often find it so hard to forgive.

The late psychiatrist Thomas Szasz , who wrote many articles for FEE, offered this perspective: “The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” I agree. Forgiveness shouldn’t mean that you lose your memory.

Letting Go of Grudges

Another example of remarkable forgiveness dates to 2006 when a gunman entered a one-room Amish schoolhouse near Lancaster, Pennsylvania. He killed five children and wounded five others, ages six to 13, before taking his own life. Americans were stunned at the response of the local Amish community. While grieving the loss of their own, they visited the parents of the killer to offer comfort and solace. They even established a fund to assist his family. The shooter’s mother later wrote an open letter to the Amish in which she said:

Your love for our family has helped to provide the healing we so desperately need. Gifts you've given have touched our hearts in a way no words can describe. Your compassion has reached beyond our family, beyond our community, and is changing our world, and for this we sincerely thank you.

In their exceptionally moving book on the incident, Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy , authors Donald B. Kraybill and Steven M. Nolt explained that the Amish willingness to eschew vengeance is one of the sect’s most deeply-rooted cultural traits. They believe in “the letting go of grudges.” Kraybill and Nolt argued that this attitude “does not undo the tragedy or pardon the wrong, but rather constitutes a first step toward a future that is more hopeful.”

The Amish forgave completely, but they did not forget; they demolished the school, built another nearby, and christened it the “New Hope School.”

“Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge, and dares to forgive an injury,” declared the famous orator and minister of the mid-19th century, Edwin Hubbell Chapin .

Nelson Mandela was incarcerated for nearly three decades before he became president of a post-Apartheid South Africa. “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies,” he once said. “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”

Forgiving Is an Act of Self-Care

The best medical authorities are convinced that forgiveness is at least as essential to the mental and physical health of the wronged as it is to the wrongdoer. A page on the Mayo Clinic’s website asks, “What are the benefits of forgiving someone?” It lists the following:

Healthier relationships Improved mental health Less anxiety, stress and hostility Lower blood pressure Fewer symptoms of depression A stronger immune system Improved heart health Improved self-esteem

“What if the person I’m forgiving doesn’t change?” the Mayo Clinic’s page asks. The answer makes a lot of sense to me:

Getting another person to change his or her actions, behavior or words isn't the point of forgiveness. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life—by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to wield in your life.

Renewed Richness

Forgiveness is often essential to engagement. A black American named Daryl Davis is a remarkable example. As documented by Netflix and both in print and video by FEE’s Sean Malone, Davis set out to learn why KKK members could hate him for the color of his skin when they had never met him. He now counts as personal friends dozens and dozens of former racists.

If you need some good advice on why, how, and when to forgive, you’ll find it in this short essay by Betty Russell, The Importance of Forgiveness . She says “[w]e can all find renewed richness in our relationships if we can learn to forgive.”

Maybe adopting a more forgiving spirit—thinking of forgiveness first as an option when we’re wronged instead of last—would make an excellent New Year’s resolution, if we really mean it and do it.

Forgiveness is enough of a mystery to me that I can’t regard myself as a counselor on the subject. I’m comfortable in suggesting, however, that we need more of it, perhaps a lot more of it in these days when mere unintended slights ignite raw tension and indignation. Maybe adopting a more forgiving spirit—thinking of forgiveness first as an option when we’re wronged instead of last—would make an excellent New Year’s resolution, if we really mean it and do it.

You may be relatively new to FEE and wondering what forgiveness has to do with a foundation devoted to “economic education.” Let me just say that from our earliest days, despite the seeming narrowness of our name, FEE has been committed to a free society and all the dimensions of personal character that build and sustain it. I’m no expert on forgiveness, but I’m sufficiently moved by its manifestations to say that a good dose of it is one of those dimensions. How about you?

Lawrence W. Reed

Lawrence W. Reed is FEE's Interim President, having previously served for nearly 11 years as FEE’s president (2008-2019).

Sorry, it looks like your browser is blocking JavaScript for fee.org.

This page relies heavily on JavaScript.

Please, enable JavaScript and reload the page to enjoy our modern features.

More by Lawrence W. Reed

essay of the power of forgiveness

Why the Meiji Restoration Was Pivotal for Japan

essay of the power of forgiveness

Breaking Down Tucker Carlson’s Interview With Vladimir Putin

essay of the power of forgiveness

The Origins of Valentine’s Day and Some Reflections on the Holiday

essay of the power of forgiveness

How Japan Went From High Culture to a Samurai Culture

Republish this article.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License, except for material where copyright is reserved by a party other than FEE.

Please do not edit the piece, ensure that you attribute the author and mention that this article was originally published on FEE.org

essay of the power of forgiveness

  • Post Betrayal Syndrome™ Quiz
  • Healed or Hardened Quiz
  • For the Betrayer: Do you need to Rebuild? Quiz
  • Trust Again 2.0
  • Work with Dr. Debi Directly
  • What They’re Saying
  • Support Groups (Directory)
  • Get Certified
  • FREE Certification Masterclass
  • Certified Support Group Host
  • Work with Dr. Debi
  • HR Assessment
  • Workshops, Books, & Accessories
  • Human Design
  • NES Health Scan
  • Nat’l Forgiveness Day
  • About Debi Silber
  • Dr. Debi Silber – What They’re Saying
  • Meet the Team
  • Go to My account
  • Affiliate Dashboard
  • PBT Institute Reclaim
  • What They’re Saying About Certification

No products in the cart.

Behavior & Mindset

0    comments

The Healing Power of Forgiveness: A Path to Inner Peace

The journey.

In the journey of personal growth and emotional well-being, forgiveness stands as a profound and transformative practice. Embracing the power of forgiveness (especially after something like broken trust and betrayal) can lead to a path of inner peace and emotional healing. Let’s explores the profound effects of forgiveness on mental and emotional well-being, offering insights into how this practice can unlock the door to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

Understanding Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful act of releasing resentment, anger, and negative emotions towards someone who has wronged you. It’s not about condoning the behavior or denying the hurt, but rather choosing to free yourself from the burden of carrying grudges. By understanding that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, you open the door to healing and growth.

The Physical and Mental Impact

Scientific studies have shown that forgiveness has tangible benefits for both mental and physical health. Chronic anger and resentment can contribute to stress-related illnesses , while embracing forgiveness can reduce blood pressure, improve cardiovascular health, and boost the immune system. From a mental perspective, letting go of grudges can reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and promote overall emotional well-being.

A Journey to Inner Peace

Forgiveness is a crucial step towards finding inner peace. When we hold onto anger and resentment, we create an emotional prison for ourselves. Choosing forgiveness is like unlocking the doors to that prison and stepping into a space of serenity. As you release negative emotions, you make room for positive feelings like compassion, empathy, and understanding.

Self-Forgiveness: The Inner Sanctuary

Forgiving others is essential, but equally vital is the practice of self-forgiveness. Many people carry guilt and shame from their own past actions, preventing them from experiencing true inner peace. Recognize that you are human and prone to mistakes; forgiving yourself is an act of self-love and an essential part of your healing journey.

Steps to Embrace Forgiveness

a. Acknowledgment: Recognize and acknowledge the pain you’ve experienced as a result of the offense. This step is crucial for moving forward.

b. Empathy: Try to understand the perspective of the person who hurt you. This doesn’t excuse their actions, but it can help you detach from the hurt.

c. Letting Go: Release the grip of resentment. Write a letter (you don’t have to send it) or find a symbolic act to represent the release.

d. Healing Boundaries: If necessary, set healthy boundaries with the person to prevent further harm.

e. Practice Patience: Forgiveness is a process that takes time. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey.

The Ripple Effect

When you embrace forgiveness, you not only heal yourself but also contribute to a positive ripple effect in your relationships and the world around you. Your ability to forgive can inspire others to do the same, creating a more compassionate and peaceful community.

Cultivating Forgiveness in Daily Life

a. Mindfulness: Practice mindfulness to stay present and avoid dwelling on past grievances.

b. Gratitude: Focus on the positive aspects of your life and the growth that comes from challenges.

c. Positive Affirmations: Use affirmations to reinforce your commitment to forgiveness and inner peace.

Wrapping it Up

The healing power of forgiveness is undeniable. It’s a journey that liberates you from the shackles of negativity, allowing you to experience inner peace and emotional freedom. By practicing forgiveness , you embark on a transformative path that leads to a more fulfilling and harmonious life. Remember, forgiveness is not just a gift to others; it’s a precious gift you give to yourself.

Dr. Debi-A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche

Dr. Debi Silber, Founder and CEO of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who helps (along with her incredibly gifted Certified PBT-Post Betrayal Transformation Coaches and Practitioners) a predictable, proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.

essay of the power of forgiveness

About the author 

A Trusted Resource in an Untrusting Niche Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute https://thepbtinstitute.com is an award-winning speaker, bestselling author, holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert who’s created a proven multi-pronged approach to help people heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.

You may also like

The five pillars of trust in the workplace, decoding your blueprint: the transformative power of human design in personal recovery, 358: healing from betrayal with the help of human design.

Session expired

Please log in again. The login page will open in a new tab. After logging in you can close it and return to this page.

essay of the power of forgiveness

StudySaurus

  • Knowledge Base
  • Popular Essay Topics

Forgiveness Essay

  • Author Kimberly Ball
  • Category Popular Essay Topics

Disclaimer: This paper has been submitted by a student. This is not a sample of the work written by professional academic writers.

Any opinions, findings, conclusions or recommendations expressed in this work are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of StudySaurus.

Topic: Why is forgiveness important

Throughout your life, you will have to forgive people. Often times, forgiveness can be difficult. A wise man once declared, “Holding a grudge does not make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving does not make you weak; it sets you free.” Forgiving others allow you to overcome your anger, to heal spiritual wounds, and to be set free.

First, forgiving others allows you to overcome your anger. If you hold a situation against someone, you begin to also hold a grudge. This is also known as bitterness. Bitterness builds up over time and eventually, you become a negative form of yourself. Anger is not something you should hold in. It’s proven that anger is more than just an emotion, it has physiological effects on you.

Secondly, forgiving allows you to heal spiritual wounds. Matthew 6:14-15 “ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Once you forgive others, our Father in Heaven will forgive you. Healing spiritual wounds will allow you to grow closer to Jesus and your family in Christ. With spiritual wounds, you will never be fully whole.

Last, forgiving simply sets you free. Forgiving others will allow weight to come off your shoulders. When you do not forgive, a bad feeling exists inside of you. It makes you feel hatred. One element of life is loving everyone, you cannot do this until you forgive. You have to be a blessing. With bitterness in your thoughts and mind, you cannot do this.

Overall, you will have to forgive people every day. Everyone makes mistakes. You should forgive people as fast as you would want them to forgive you. Forgiving gives you the chance to overcome your anger, to heal your spiritual wounds, and to set you free. Forgiveness is the key to life.

Explain why it is important to forgive

The Freedom of Forgiveness

It is very important to forgive others. Forgiveness means to forget someone’s bad deed or mistake. Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never received. You react to someone else’s mistake can be vital to your life and the lives of the others around you. Avoiding forgiveness can leave frustration in your heart and destroy your personality. You must learn to forgive others and yourself. It is very important to forgive.

First of all, it is important to react in the right way to someone else’s mistake. When you act in a response to an act or mistake, it could cause damage to good and bad sides. Fighting or taking revenge will only make a situation worse and it also means that you would commit a bad deed as well. If you do not fight or take revenge, but choose to forgive, you are at a higher place than the other person. By acting mature and not fighting or taking revenge, you will not damage your self-respect. Also, there will be peace between you and the other person because you both acted in a mature way. It is important to react in the right way to someone else’s mistake.

Secondly, it is important to forgive because avoiding forgiveness causes frustration in your heart and destroys your personality. If you forgive someone, you will feel better about yourself. Your heart and your mind will become more relaxed because you have peace in knowing that you do not have to be angry with anyone. In history, war broke out because countries could not forgive each other. If you simply learn to forgive, your mind and heart will be at peace instead of at war. Forgiveness is very important.

Lastly, forgiveness is important to you and the people around you. If you do not find forgiveness in yourself, others can become victims of your ego and revenge. If you are too prideful to forgive someone, you need to change your mindset. If someone does you wrong, you must treat everyone in a kind way because it is not their fault. If you don’t forgive yourself, you can’t forgive others. Forgiveness is very important to you and the people around you.

In conclusion, it is very important to forgive others. It is important to react in the right way to someone else’s mistake. It is important to never avoid forgiveness. Also, the way you react to forgiveness will affect you and the people around you. It is very important to forgive others.

Was this material helpful?

Related essays, about studysaurus, community. knowledge. success..

StudySaurus is run by two uni-students that still get a kick out of learning new things. We hope to share these experiences with you.

Ideas ,  concepts ,  tutorials,   essay papers  – everything we would’ve liked to have known, seen or heard during our high-school & UNI years, we want to bring to YOU.

Privacy & Cookies Policy Terms and Conditions DMCA Request

web analytics

Steve Taylor, Author and Lecturer in Spirituality and Psychology

The Power of Forgiveness: The Transformational Effect of Letting Go of Resentment

Next Article >>

Originally published in Kindred Spirit (2014)

Recently I met a woman called Sena, whose brother was killed 13 years ago. Tony, her brother, was working as a chef in the British army, when he was shot by one of the soldiers in his own unit. The soldier claimed it was an accident, that the gun had just gone off as he put it over his knees. He was eventually sentenced to two years in prison for manslaughter. The death was made even more tragic by the fact that Tony’s wife was pregnant with their first child.

Sena’s life was thrown into disarray. She had a psychological breakdown, couldn’t work or sleep, and was put on strong psychiatric drugs. She became timid, felt that she couldn’t face the outside world, and didn’t leave her house for months. It was made worse by the media attention which the incident caused. The investigation and trial lasted for more than two years, and as Sena told me. “We lived in a small town where nothing ever happened, so it was big news, and always featured in the local newspaper and on local television.”

Sena’s difficulties continued until six years ago, when she began to go through a process of healing, the main feature of which was forgiving the man who killed her brother. As she describes it:

“I realised that it wasn’t serving any purpose for me to be so full of hatred and bitterness. All it was doing was causing intense pain inside me. It definitely wasn’t serving my purpose. So I decided to let go. I realised that he [the man who killed her brother] was no different to me. He said it was an accident, and I was sure he felt remorse about it. I knew that it was the right thing to do, to forgive him. And it had an immediate effect. I felt lighter and freer, as if I’d suddenly let go of about 40 years of ageing. It felt like my life could begin again.”

Since then Sena’s life has turned around. She feels that the experience has deepened and expanded her, and enabled to live a richer and more meaningful life.

It’s certainly not easy to forgive. If someone has wronged you – inflicted pain, humiliated you, abused or exploited you – it’s entirely natural to feel bitterness and resentment. That’s surely what they deserve. Surely what they don ’ t deserve is our empathy and understanding, and certainly not our charity. Surely to forgive them just “lets them off the hook” and gives them licence to mistreat others.

But there are good reasons why forgiveness is worthwhile. A prolonged, constant sense of resentment doesn’t punish the person who wronged you, but only yourself. Carrying resentment – or a grudge against someone – drains of us our energy and well-being. It creates tension inside us, makes us rigid, and creates a general sense of negativity which seeps through the whole of our lives. In a sense therefore, by carrying resentment, we allow the person to continue hurting us. An act of forgiveness, therefore, means releasing this resentment, freeing ourselves from the tension and rigidity which comes with carrying a grudge.

Research has shown how beneficial forgiveness can be. In a study at Stanford University, 259 people were assigned to either a nine hour “forgiveness workshop” or to a control group. At the end of the workshop, the workshop participants reported significantly lower levels of stress and anger, and more optimism and better health. (1)

You might assume that, if you had the opportunity to take revenge on someone who has wronged you, this would give you a tremendous sense of well-being, a sense of catharsis which would purge you of your resentment and make you feel liberated. But research has shown that this is generally not the case. Whereas people who don’t seek revenge tend to “move on,” people who take revenge continue to ruminate about the situation, which prolongs the negativity. Situations which may have been seen as trivial are inflated and inflamed. The “catharsis” of revenge only leads to more bitterness and resentment. (2)

And in any case, acts of revenge are counterproductive in the long run. They only set up a cycle of violence which leads to more hatred, hurt and destruction on both sides.

Empathy and Understanding

I’m aware that this is very idealistic, of course. The idea of offering complete forgiveness to someone who has wronged you may be a step which you’re unwilling to take. It may depend on the severity of the incident, and how strongly it has affected you.

However, there are some intermediate points between vengefulness and complete forgiveness. It may help simply to try to understand the person’s perspective, and look at the reasons for their actions. Did they really intend to hurt you? And even if they did, were they really responsible for their actions? If they really are “evil” in some way, perhaps this is due to factors beyond their own control – for example, psychological or personality problems, or environmental factors. Perhaps they suffer from low self-esteem, insecurity, or a psychiatric disorder. Perhaps they had a terrible upbringing which has scarred or traumatized them. It’s also worth remembering that people who hurt and humiliate others are usually full of psychological disord themselves, and most likely extremely unhappy.

It doesn’t really matter conclusions you come to – the simple act of empathising with the person may release some of your resentment.

And once you’ve reached that point you may feel that you can further, to the point of forgiveness. In Sena’s experience, forgiveness was sudden and immediate, but according to the psychologists Enright, Freedman and Rique, the process normally has four stages. First, there is the “Uncovering Phase,” where you become aware of the negative effect your resentment is having on your life. Second, there is the “Decision Phase,” when you decide to let go of your resentment. Next is the “Work Phase,” where you cultivate your forgiveness, by accepting what has happened and trying to empathize with the offender. Finally, there is the “deepening phase,” in which your forgiveness leads to a deeper understanding of yourself and of life in general; you might, for example,develop a sense of empathy and compassion for others who have suffered in a similar way. (3)

We shouldn’t, therefore, think that forgiveness means letting the wrongdoer “off the hook.” We should forgive for ourselves, not for them. If anything, forgiveness means letting ourselves “off the hook” – that is, freeing ourselves from unnecessary anger and bitterness, which – as Sena put it – serves no purpose and blights ourselves our lives with negativity. As the saying goes, “The best revenge is living well.”

Perhaps we also have a collective responsibility to forgive, as a way of avoiding (or at least mitigating) the conflicts and wars which still rage throughout the world – all of which began and are continually inflamed by resentment, and which will keep raging until empathy and understanding overcome resentment. As Archbishop Desmond Tutu has written, “Forgiveness is an absolute necessity for continued human existence.”

Notes/References

  • http://learningtoforgive.com/research/effects-of-group-forgiveness-intervention-on-perceived-stress-state-and-trait-anger-symptoms-of-stress-self-reported-health-and-forgiveness-stanford-forgiveness-project/
  • http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/95/6/1316/
  • Enright, R.D. (1998). Comprehensive bibliography on interpersonal forgiveness. In R.D. Enright & J. North (Eds.), Exploring forgiveness (pp. 165-186). Madison, WI: University of Wisconsin Press

essay of the power of forgiveness

Home / Essay Samples / Life / I Am Sorry / The Meaning Behind “I Am Sorry” – the Power of Forgiveness

The Meaning Behind "I Am Sorry" - the Power of Forgiveness

  • Category: Life
  • Topic: Father , Forgiveness , I Am Sorry

Pages: 1 (653 words)

Views: 2382

  • Downloads: -->

--> ⚠️ Remember: This essay was written and uploaded by an--> click here.

Found a great essay sample but want a unique one?

are ready to help you with your essay

You won’t be charged yet!

Happiness Essays

Respect Essays

Courage Essays

Responsibility Essays

Fear Essays

Related Essays

We are glad that you like it, but you cannot copy from our website. Just insert your email and this sample will be sent to you.

By clicking “Send”, you agree to our Terms of service  and  Privacy statement . We will occasionally send you account related emails.

Your essay sample has been sent.

In fact, there is a way to get an original essay! Turn to our writers and order a plagiarism-free paper.

samplius.com uses cookies to offer you the best service possible.By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .--> -->