top personal statements for music

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Last updated March 22, 2024

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Blog > Essay Advice , Personal Statement > How to Write a Great College Essay About Music (with examples)

How to Write a Great College Essay About Music (with examples)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Alex McNeil, MA Admissions Consultant

Key Takeaway

Ask any admissions officer if they’ve read a college essay about music, and they’ll definitely say yes. Between music extracurriculars and academic interests in music, it’s is one of the most common college essay topics.

So does that mean that you shouldn’t write your college essay about music?

Not necessarily. But as with any common college essay topic, some approaches are better than others.

Let’s get into it.

Why you should (and shouldn’t) write your Common App essay about music

As we explained in our Stanford Items exercise , writing your college essay on a common topic isn’t off-limits. In fact, most college essays share common topics and themes. Trying to find a completely unique, never-been-done-before topic is almost impossible. And writing about a quirky topic in hopes of coming across as unique usually backfires.

In other words, it’s likely that you’ll write about the same topic as someone else.

The problem arises, however, when you write about a common topic in a cliche way . Cliches are always a danger in college essays, but in especially college essay topics that tend to surface again and again.

To avoid cliches, your college essay about music needs to be deeply personal, specific, and meaningful. You’ll want to let go of any over-generalizations or truisms and focus on the details of your own story.

Because you’ll need to write meaningfully and vulnerably, you should only write your college essay about music if you have something genuine and significant to say.

The Best Ways to Approach Your College Essay about Music

College essays about music aren’t off the table, but you should be thoughtful in how you write about them. The following two approaches will help you avoid cliches and find an authentic, meaningful story that fulfills all the requirements of a personal statement .

Writing about music as an academic interest

If you’re interested in studying music in college, then you can consider writing your college essay about music as an academic interest. A college essay about your academic interest in music can show fantastic intellectual fit with a school.

Let’s say you want to study music theory or composition. You might write about a topic you find compelling, a problem you’ve solved, or even a recounting of your journey becoming interested in the subject.

Or maybe you’re an aspiring performer planning on studying music performance. As an admissions officer, I read outstanding essays about students performing their favorite pieces, creating emotional music projects, and teaching lessons to young children.

No matter your topic, your goal with this approach is to show an intellectual spark, a curiosity and passion that will demonstrate to your admissions officers that you’ll be a great addition to the music community on their campuses.

Writing poignantly about a deeply meaningful extracurricular

The previous approach is great if you want to study music, but what if music is just an extracurricular passion of yours? Don’t worry—you can still write about it.

In that case, the best way is to focus on meaning. Remember: personal statements should be deeply-meaningful reflections on your personal strengths.

To start, reflect on your music extracurricular. Is it playing guitar in a band? Playing trombone in your school’s symphony? Learning piano from your grandma? How your love of poetry turned into a love of songwriting?

Next, think about what strengths you have to showcase. If you play guitar in a band, maybe you want to highlight your collaborative spirit. If you love poetry and songwriting, perhaps you focus on your creativity.

Writing about your love of music in a way that draws upon your strengths will make sure that your Common App essay avoids the following two approaches and gives admissions officers a reason to admit you.

Approaches to Avoid

While the following two approaches aren’t necessarily bad, they are the most cliche ways of approaching a college essay about music. You might want to consider avoiding them.

An inauthentic tale of triumph

Let me tell you a cliche story.

When I was in fourth grade, I decided to join the school orchestra. I found it exceedingly difficult at first. No matter how hard I tried, I never could seem to place my fingers correctly on the fingerboard. Every sound I made mimicked a screeching cat. But I decided not to give up. I practiced every day after school and on the weekends. By the time I was in ninth grade, I had made it into my high school’s top orchestra.

Is that a lovely story? Yes, absolutely. Is it hearty enough for a college essay? No. While it tells a good narrative of growth and progress, it remains on the surface of the writer’s life. It comes across as a convenient way to brag about your strengths instead of exploring them in a genuine way. In this example, the story also focuses on events that happened way too far in the past.

A song that changed your life

This approach is by far the most common cliche in college essays about music. We’ve all been there: a favorite song that transports you to a moment in your life whenever you hear it. It makes sense that you’d want to write about yours.

But there’s a problem with this approach. Too often, it reads as trite or unoriginal, and the end result usually doesn’t say much about the writer. And when it does, the message an admissions officer gets doesn’t typically give them any more reason to admit you. Since you want your college essay to be meaningful, even vulnerable, and strengths-based, you’re better off choosing another topic that better speaks to who you are.

Key Takeaways + Examples

College essays about music aren’t for everyone. But when you get it right, you can strike the perfect chord with admissions officers (you’re welcome for the pun).

As you go, dig deep, find something genuinely personal, and try to avoid the most common and cliche ways of approaching the topic.

Want to see some examples of college essays about music before you get started? Check out our examples, The Time Machine and The Band .

Liked that? Try this next.

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• Personal Statements
• Music Personal Statement

Music Personal Statements Example

Sample statement.

I love music but I also enjoy a challenge. That is why I have decided to focus on music as my future career rather than just a way to relax. I have had an instinctive feel for playing music, singing and moving to music since I was a small child and I have enjoyed training to improve my skills and to make my playing and singing a pleasure for others. That has not always been easy. It’s a lot of hard work at times but the rewards for sticking with it are very worthwhile.

A university course in music is the next natural step for me and I realise that it won’t be easy. It will be an opportunity to grow as a musician and I look forward to being able to immerse myself in music and to develop my skills both on a personal and academic level. Music for me is relaxing but it is that all-encompassing relaxation that comes with the self-discipline required to practice and improve. Learning to play a musical instrument can be torture, but getting through the difficult stages and learning to make the instrument sound good is so satisfying.

Music needs determination, commitment and skill to be able to make it sound good, but being able to apply your musical achievements to build a career also needs a thorough grounding in the music industry. I want to focus on expanding my musical skills and knowledge but also on where it can take me in the future. Studying at university level seems a very natural next step.

I have looked for music courses that allow flexibility and that will give me the widest experience and appreciation for different types of music and different ways of making it. I want to learn the technical knowledge too, building on my experience with music software I have already been using.

College has been a positive experience for me and I am lucky to have been within an environment that was encouraging and challenging at the same time. My music teachers provided the push we needed to achieve our best but were also realistic in the deadlines that they set. This has made me able to cope well with time pressure and I work consistently and well to finish set tasks, which has given me added confidence. I have a high natural ability, with a good ear, timing and good rhythmic skills but I have learned to become a polished performer and to work well within a group.

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Essays, Personal Statements, and Résumés for Music Students

Essays, personal statements and résumés for music students can be daunting. While the audition is a key component in the acceptance process, admission reps want you to keep in mind that the paperwork side of the application is also important.

by Caitlin Peterkin

“We have a small interview component to our audition process and we review recommendation letters and a student’s music history (typically via the résumé),” says Megan Grady, music recruitment coordinator and assistant director of Admission at the University of Puget Sound School of Music. “We also like to see what else students do and if we think they’ll fit in well with our liberal arts university, not just the School of Music.”

Applying to music school is a highly-competitive process. Brittany Jimenez, associate director of Undergraduate Admission at USC Thornton School of Music , encourages students to be genuine and to put their best foot forward in all parts of the admission process.

“There are many parts of the application and admission process you cannot control, like who else is applying,” she says, “so carefully managing the parts you can control (like the writing supplements and portfolio submissions) will be very important.”

Catch the attention you want

An essay, often referred to as your personal statement, is required by many music schools. Each school posts its own guidelines for these. If you’re uncertain about what they’re asking for, contact the admissions office.

The Common App streamlines the process of applying to several schools, although not all schools use it. You’ll find out whether colleges and universities that use the Common App require a personal essay once you create your Dashboard on the Common App website. The Common App provides a list of “prompts” or ideas to write about and you are given the option to edit your essay after you submit your first application. Even if schools don’t require a personal essay, you’ll have the option to submit one.  

Music schools within universities as well as some colleges require you to apply to the university or college as well as to the music school. A separate school of music essay may also be required. Schools will indicate the word count as well as prompts or a specific theme they want you to write about. This may be referred to as a “supplemental essay.”

You can also choose to apply directly to schools instead of using the Common App. A request for supplemental materials including writing requirements is built in to these applications.

Note that these requirements may be different for transfer students.

So how do you make sure your essay and personal statement stand out from the crowd?

Here are suggestions from recruiters and admission representatives for creating essays they’ll they’ll be eager to read:

1. Do your research.

“It is beneficial to research the school and program and speak to the specific aspects and opportunities you find most relevant to you and your interests,” says Jimenez. “Getting to know the specific programs and faculty is important because every school is going to be unique in the type of experience they offer.”

Patrick Zylka, assistant dean for Admission, Financial Aid and Graduate Services at Northwestern University Bienen School of Music , agrees. “We want to know an applicant has done the research on our institution, not just that it’s a top ten ranking, or that their best friend goes here, but that they’ve really dug a little bit deeper and understand what the institution offers….and whether we’re actually a good fit for them.”

But he adds the caveat to not just regurgitate what’s on a school’s website: “Don’t tell us we’re a beautiful campus next to Lake Michigan—we already know!”

2. Don’t copy and paste.

Faculty and staff recognize that you’re probably applying to multiple institutions. Make sure to write a unique statement for each one, tailoring each essay to the specific program you’re applying to. Schools do not want to see a generic, cookie-cutter answer as to why you’re choosing their particular program.

“Essays that are clearly ‘cut and paste’ versions of an essay you’ve sent to a dozen schools…are not very persuasive,” says Christina Crispin, assistant director of Admissions at Eastman School of Music .

3. Show your personality!

As faculty and admissions reps review hundreds of applications each year, they want to read thoughtful statements from prospective students to get a better sense of each individual’s personality.

According to Zylka, admission reps view the essay as an applicant’s only opportunity to really show who they are as an individual, more than what any transcript or test score can reveal. “Speak from the heart,” he says. “If you’re funny, be funny. If you’re serious, be serious.”

Grady agrees: “We are looking for students to tell us more about themselves. We like to see creative essays that tell us something we may not be able to learn from the rest of their application.”

4. Proofread—multiple times.

Not only are essays a good way to show your personality, but they’re also a chance to demonstrate that you can write in a clear and coherent way.

“The essays that we are least impressed by are those that have typos, grammatical or punctuation errors—anything that screams, ‘I didn’t proofread this,’” says Crispin.

Some other no-nos: run-on sentences and “writing one big paragraph instead of a thought-out essay,” according to Grady.

Your résumé – the right way

Nearly all applications for music schools require a résumé.  

“The résumé is the place for applicants to highlight their musical accomplishments and experiences,” says Crispin. “If they want us to know about other extracurricular activities, leadership, volunteer work, etc., the résumé is a good place to capture that information.”

“It’s important to tell us about any honors, awards, summer festivals, private lessons,” adds Zylka. “Things that show us you didn’t just go to high school from a certain time in the morning to the afternoon.”  

• Make it clean and organized.

There is no one right way to format a résumé unless specified by the schools you’re applying to. They should be easy to read. Include your contact information plus music-specific information and experience.

“Present your résumé in an organized way so it is easy to review what you have done and when,” says Jimenez. “The résumé is typically 1-2 pages in length and mostly focuses on accomplishments and activities during high school.”

“Clean résumés are best—for musicians, that involves what you’ve performed, competitions you’ve won, ensembles you’ve performed along with chair placement (if applicable),” says Grady.  

“Keep your activities limited to your high school achievements,” she adds “unless there’s something particularly outstanding (like a performance at Carnegie Hall) that took place before high school. Show that you play multiple instruments and for how long, who you’ve studied with, ensemble directors, etc.”

• Proofread.

Edit your résumé multiple times, and have a trusted friend, family member, or teacher look it over. “We never want to see typos, misspelled words, or grammatical errors,” says Jimenez.

Final thoughts

Crispin advises all students to start their application early. “We often hear from applicants that they were surprised how much time it took to fill out their applications, and you don’t want to be rushing and risking errors right before the deadline,” she says. This also includes reaching out to teachers for recommendations well before applications are due.

Just like no two music programs are the same, no two application processes are the same. Do the research on what exactly is needed for each program you’re applying to, and make a checklist with deadlines for each one.

Finally, utilize all the resources available online and in admission offices. “Our website should be your best friend throughout the process,” says Jimenez. “Your other best friends will be the people in the office of admission. Applicants are always encouraged to ask questions anytime! We want our applicants to be successful throughout the admission process and are here to help however we can.”

Caitlin Peterkin is a writer/editor and arts enthusiast currently based in Portland, OR. She has worked as program manager for Earshot Jazz (Seattle) and has written for BestNewBands.com , Chronicle of Higher Education , and Paste Magazine . She graduated from Indiana University Bloomington with a B.A. in Journalism and a minor in Music.  

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How to Draft a Creative Music Grad School Personal Statement

Table of Contents

Are you considering pursuing a graduate degree in music? Writing a personal statement for your application can be an intimidating task. It is, after all, the one piece of writing that will give admissions officers insight into who you are as a person and musician.

Let’s dive into how to write an effective music grad school personal statement without further ado.

Steps to Writing a Music Grad School Personal Statement

Brainstorming.

Before you begin writing your personal statement , it’s essential to take some time to brainstorm. Reflect on why you want to pursue a graduate music degree in the first place. Consider what experiences have led you to this point—what has been meaningful for you about past musical endeavors? What made those experiences unique or special? What do you hope to experience in the future after attending grad school?

Explaining Your Passion

Your personal statement should also explain how your passion for music has evolved and how it drives your decision-making process . You may choose to discuss any challenges faced along the way or successes achieved that demonstrate a solid commitment to the art.

Providing Specifics

It is essential to be as specific and detailed as possible when writing your personal statement. This will give admissions officers a better understanding of who you are as an individual and musician. Try to include specific examples from past experiences demonstrating why you are uniquely qualified for the program. State how your skill set has grown over time.

Once you’ve completed the first draft of your personal statement, it’s time to do some editing! Read through it carefully, looking for any typos or errors in grammar or punctuation. Ensure the content is clear and concise—you don’t want to overwhelm the reader with too much information. Finally, review it for style to ensure that the tone and voice are consistent throughout the statement.

Music Grad School Personal Statement Examples

I have been passionate about music my entire life. As a child, I was constantly listening to and playing various instruments. After attending Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos performance, I was deeply inspired and decided to pursue music as my career path.

I attended college and earned a degree in Music Performance, where I honed my skills as a musician. I performed with many renowned ensembles during this time and developed close relationships with experienced musicians worldwide. My education has given me an appreciation for all genres of music, but classical music truly drives my passion for performing.

Now that I am ready to pursue a graduate degree in music, I am looking to expand my knowledge and skill set. A graduate program would provide me with the opportunity to learn from accomplished mentors. It will give access resources that will allow me to pursue unique performance opportunities.

My love for music began when I was very young. I started singing at an early age and eventually progressed to playing several instruments, including piano, guitar, and drums. Music has always been an outlet for me—not just as a means of expression but also as a way of understanding myself better.

I have had the privilege of studying with some fantastic musicians throughout my collegiate career. My professors have always encouraged me to push myself beyond my comfort zone and have helped shape me into the musician I am today. After receiving my undergraduate degree in Music Performance, I am ready to take the next step and pursue a graduate degree. This will help to expand my knowledge of music theory and composition.

Grad school will open up many unique opportunities for me as an aspiring musician. I am excited to learn from experienced teachers and peers who can help me reach new heights as an artist. I can achieve great things in this field with hard work, dedication, and commitment.

Final Thoughts

Writing a personal statement for music grad school is no small feat! However, take the time to brainstorm, explain your passion, provide specifics from past experiences, and edit thoroughly. You can craft a compelling personal statement that will make a great impression on admissions officers .

Good luck with your application process!

Abir Ghenaiet

Abir is a data analyst and researcher. Among her interests are artificial intelligence, machine learning, and natural language processing. As a humanitarian and educator, she actively supports women in tech and promotes diversity.

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Applying for Music at Oxbridge: The Course, and How To Craft A Standout Music Personal Statement

Find out more about the Oxbridge music courses and what to read/ listen to for your music personal statement with U2 tutor, Kai (1st Class Cambridge Music graduate and current Oxford PhD student, researching the existential implications of AI-composed music).

What does a Music course involve at Oxford or Cambridge?

Studying Music at university is an inspiring and thrilling experience—yet, until you have first-hand experience, it can be difficult to tell what an academic Music course actually entails. Specifically, how does studying Music at a university like Oxford or Cambridge differ from doing a performance or composition degree at a conservatoire? Is there a difference?

The short answer is yes—there is a huge difference. For although you can choose to make performance or composition play a role in your university studies, they will never become the main focus; at both Oxford and Cambridge, both performance and composition are each limited to around a fifth or sixth of your studies in a given year. So what do you do with the rest of your time? Here are some of the key components that make up most Music degrees:

Music history

o   This is usually focused on the development of Western music (all the way from plainchant to the present!); the emphasis is on the continuities and discontinuities between styles through history. For example, how did Schoenberg’s atonal music emerge from Wagner’s late Romanticism? At the same time, music history explores how music has both shaped and been shaped by the extra-musical features of its historical context, such as literature, visual art, philosophy, theology, and politics. For example, what impact did Stalin’s censorship have on Shostakovich’s musical style?

Theory and stylistic composition

o   This is the study of the fundamental methods and conventions that define a musical language. Although there will likely be an initial focus on the Western tonal and modal tradition—for example, Classical and Romantic harmony, Baroque fugue, and Renaissance counterpoint—there is also scope for things like jazz transcriptions, film music composition, and orchestration.

o   At first, analysis is not hugely differentiated from theory, as both involve understanding how music is constructed; at its most basic level, then, analysis involves things like identifying chords and structural markers in specific compositions. However, where analysis becomes really exciting is when you can build on these foundations to make your own judgments and interpretations. For example, there might be a Chopin nocturne you love, and that always makes you feel nostalgic; you could then try to get the bottom of how exactly Chopin’s compositional decisions—his choice of specific chords etc.—may serve to evoke such feelings.

Composition

o   Here you have ‘free reign’, as it were. Although you will be encouraged to find your own compositional voice, you will be exposed to lots of different musical styles, especially those of living composers, in order to inspire you.

Performance

o   This is predominantly assessed through solo recitals. However, given that you are studying at an academic university rather than a conservatoire, there is also an emphasis on understanding key issues in performance, rather than simply practising your instrument. For example, to what extent are a performer’s facial expressions part of their performance?

Ethnomusicology and sociology of music

o   These related areas constitute the study of music in specific cultural contexts, with a particular emphasis on how musical practices interact with social structures. Ethnomusicology differs subtly from sociology of music in its focus on musics that do not belong to the broad tradition of Western art music—for example, the gamelan music of Bali. The sociology of music tends to be more focused on issues like gender, sexuality, and power structures, as they manifest in the music of contemporary society.

Psychology of music (music and science)

o   This investigates how we perceive and are uniquely affected by music, using psychological methods such as listening experiments, surveys, and brain scans.

What should I read (and listen to!) in preparation for my music personal statement and interviews?

I would suggest, as a general rule, that there are two types of book you should read. Firstly, general overviews and introductions are extremely useful for providing a basic grounding in key areas, as well as for drawing your attention to specific topics that might strike you as especially fascinating. This brings me to the second type of book: more narrowly focused works on a specific topic, such as a composer, a period of history, or a key concept (such as cultural appropriation in music). Remember, though, that you are NOT expected to have read and to know everything! So even though I will provide quite a few suggestions, I would suggest that you stick to reading a couple of introductory books and a couple of books that align with your specific interests. What’s most important is that you read carefully and critically —make sure to note down your ideas as you read. This will be useful for your personal statement as admissions tutors are looking for applicants who can critique and present their opinions, rather than list an abundance of books they have read. Some introductory books include:

An Introduction to Music Studies , edited by JPE Harper-Scott and Jim Samson

o   This book consists of a series of chapters by renowned specialists on the key areas and themes in the study of music—in effect, a much expanded (and much better!) version of the summary I gave above.

Oxford’s Very Short Introductions

o   There are several of these for music, including: Music (in general); Film Music; Folk Music; Ethnomusicology; Psychology of Music; Early Music; World Music; Country Music; and The Blues. Because they are so short and readable, they are the perfect way to sample various areas.

A Guide to Musical Analysis , by Nicholas Cook

o   This is a readable overview of key concepts and techniques in musical analysis; it’s especially useful for those who are daunted by the topic.

Musicology: The Key Concepts , by David Beard and Kenneth Gloag

o   This book consists of a huge number of short entries on themes in musicology, including things like ethics, gender, globalization, interpretation, modernism, and the sublime.

In terms of the second type of book, there are two main ways to find them. You can look for what the above introductions reference when they are focusing on a particular theme. In addition, you can simply search on a website that sells books—such as Amazon, Waterstones, or Blackwell’s—for the topic you are interested in, such as Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring . In general, books published by university presses, such as Oxford and Cambridge, will be more detailed and will be written by specialist academics; for this reason, I would encourage you to give some a go, but also not to be discouraged if you don’t understand everything at this stage. The key point is to read what grabs your attention —for this reason, there is no extensive general reading list I can give. That said, here are some personal suggestions for particularly good books on specific areas:

The Rest is Noise , by Alex Ross

o   This is an extremely popular book, and rightly so. Ross takes you on a journey through twentieth-century music, from late Romanticism, through Stockhausen, to Rock music.

The Classical Style and The Romantic Generation , by Charles Rosen

o   Both these books are classics, and focus on the Classical and Romantic eras respectively. Their main strength is Rosen’s ability to present deep insights from the music itself—they are ‘serious’ musicology—in a beautifully readable manner.

Cambridge Music Handbooks

o   This is a series of short books, written by specialists, each of which focuses on a specific piece, from Bach’s Mass in B Minor to The Beatles’s Sergeant Pepper . They are both accessible and rigorous.

Sound and Symbol , by Viktor Zuckerkandl.

o   This is a beautiful and quite poetic book that explores the experience of listening to music. Although there is some analysis, it is engaging throughout and never dry. 

Finally, it is crucial never to stop listening to music! Never just read a book on musical history without looking up some of the music mentioned and listening to it yourself—otherwise, what’s the point of studying music? Listen to what you love, read about what you love to listen to, and listen to what you are reading about. At the same time, listen to pieces outside your comfort zone , and make sure you are familiar with some of the seminal pieces in the history of music —not just because they are important in the study of music due to their influence, but also because they are generally amazing!

Some good music pieces to listen to for Oxbridge applications

Try listening to a few pieces a week, along with the score (there are many YouTube videos with the audio synced up with the score). Here are some suggestions, in chronological order—this list is by no means exhaustive, and is focused on the kind of music that you will encounter whilst studying music history (that is, music from the Western art music tradition):

·         Dies Irae anonymous plainchant

·         O Ignis Spiritus Paracliti , by Hildegard of Bingen (12th century)

·         Viderunt Omnes , by Perotin (c.1200)

·         Ave Maria Virgo Serena , by Josquin (c.1475)

·         Missa Papae Marcelli , by Palestrina (c.1562)

·         Vespers , by Monteverdi (1610)

·         St Matthew Passion , by Bach (1741)

·         Piano Concerto no.21 , by Mozart (1785)

·         Symphony no.9 , by Beethoven (1824)

·         Dichterliebe , by Schumann (1840)

·         Tristan and Isolde (especially the Prelude and Liebestod ), by Wagner (1865)

·         Symphony no.4 , by Brahms (1885)

·         Symphony no.9 (‘From the New World’) , by Dvorak (1893)

·         Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun , by Debussy (1894)

·         Symphony no.5 , by Mahler (1902)

·         Violin Concerto , by Sibelius (1905)

·         Gaspard de la nuit , by Ravel (1908)

·         Three Piano Pieces op. 11 , by Schoenberg (1909)

·         Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis , by Vaughan Williams (1910)

·         The Rite of Spring , by Stravinsky (1913)

·         Cello Concerto , by Elgar (1919)

·         Symphony , by Webern (1928)

·         Music for Strings, Percussion and Celesta , by Bartok (1937)

·         Symphony no.5 , by Shostakovich (1937)

·         Appalachian Spring , by Copland (1944)

·         Peter Grimes , by Britten (1945)

·         Four Last Songs , by Richard Strauss (1948)

·         Le marteau sans maître , by Pierre Boulez (1955)

·         Atmosphères , by Gyorgy Ligeti (1961)

·         Sinfonia , by Luciano Berio (1969)

·         Black Angels , by George Crumb (1970)

·         Rothko Chapel , by Morton Feldman (1971)

·         Music for 18 Musicians , by Steve Reich (1976)

·         Symphony of Sorrowful Songs , by Henryk Gorecki (1976)

·         Asyla , by Thomas Adès (1997)

·         Orion , by Kaija Saariaho (2002)

·         Partita for 8 Voices, by Caroline Shaw (2012)

·         Become Ocean , by John Luther Adams (2013)

Remember, the point of a personal statement is to be personal. Professors are looking for applicants who can demonstrate certain abilities, but how you gain those abilities and how you exhibit them in your personal statement and at interview is completely up to you and should be determined by your interests. Studying music at Cambridge or Oxford is an incredible experience.

Good luck, and happy reading and listening!

Looking for a Cambridge or Oxford Music Personal Statement Writing Tutor or Support For Your Wider Oxbridge Music Application?

Music Degree Personal Statement Support

U2’s Oxbridge-educated mentors have a close insight into what admissions tutors like to see in a Music personal statement, and can help students to convey their skills, motivations, and long term goals, in order to stand out from other applicants. The statement should be the candidates own work, but our mentors will provide direction and guide you through the process of content building and writing. We offer offline drafting as well as tuition sessions.

Oxbridge Music Mentoring

U2 offers wider Oxbridge Mentoring programmes (book a free consultation to discuss options). We have a large team of Oxford and Cambridge Music tutors including 1st Class, Master’s and PhD level graduates.

The Process:

1) We suggest a Cambridge or Oxford Music graduate as a mentor and send their full CV for review. Our mentors are deeply familiar with the admissions process to study Music at Oxford and Cambridge University, and are well-placed to guide you through personal statement curation and preparation for the interview process. We may suggest a range of application tutors to choose from with slightly differing rates depending on qualifications and level of experience.

2) We typically suggest beginning with a 1.5 hour informal assessment/ taster session , where the mentor will informally assess the student’s current performance level for application, including test and interview. Following this, we issue a report with feedback, and structure a plan to best prepare.

3) U2’s approach for regular Oxbridge Music application sessions: The main focus of tutorial sessions will be to explore material that can be discussed in the personal statement and at interview - this may sometimes stretch to First Year Undergraduate. Mentors ensure each student refines their interests, and is exposed to a range of new concepts, guiding students in their reading and wider subject exploration. Together, we build a case for the student, solidifying the stance and direction they will take during interview and honing critical discussion and analytical skills for interview.

Frequency of sessions can be decided between student and mentor. Students can take either ad hoc sessions, or we structure a full programme for preparation, which may include further co-curricular opportunities such as our Oxbridge mock interview days. Honing the skills necessary to succeed for Oxbridge ideally requires long-term preparation and mentoring presents a wonderful opportunity to learn from some of the very best Oxbridge has produced.

Sessions from £75/h.

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What is a Personal Statement?

A 1-2 page essay that is often requested for college applications, sometimes with specific prompts. At minimum, be prepared to describe who you are, your educational/professional background, your career goals, and why your are interested in going to this particular school .

What is a Teaching Philosophy?

A 1-2 page essay that is often requested for teaching positions, especially in higher education. It describes your focus, goals, and approaches to courses you instruct, such as what every student will learn, how they are assessed, how you engage your class, and examples of implementation.

What Is a Diversity Statement?

A 1-2 page essay that is often requested for teaching positions, especially in higher education. It describes your philosophy AND your actions (both inside and outside the classroom) around supporting diversity, equity and inclusion in your field.

Steps to Writing a Statement

1. read the prompt.

Before starting, be sure to read any specific prompts that are outlined by a school or organization. These questions must be answered and, therefore, you can not send an absolutely identical statement to every opportunity.

2. Draft an Outline

Write down the layout of your essay. Use a short introduction, 2-3 body paragraphs, and if space a quick conclusion. Be sure to theme each body paragraph with a topic, idea, or focus that is clearly identified.

3. Identify Specific Examples

Now that you know what you want to discuss, be sure to provide specific details or examples. It’s not enough just to say you are “passionate” or “committed” to music, teaching or diversity. You must demonstrate through your actions.

4. Make Connections

For personal statements, you must ALWAYS make a direct connection to the program for which you are applying – whether they ask you to or not. For philosophies, be mindful of the position and type of institutions you are applying for so that you focus on the correct thing (i.e. private piano instructor vs. group piano instructor might have different approaches).

5. Have Someone Read It

Whatever you write down, no matter how many times you edit it, it is a draft. Always have a friend, colleague, or advisor review it so they can confirm you are stating things clearly and without mistakes .

Whatever feedback you received, incorporate it into your final version and give it one more look over before sending as PDF.

Statement Tip Sheet!

For examples of prompts and further instructions, please view our Personal Statement Tip Sheet.

“The IML has been incredible in shaping my musical and entrepreneurial career. The advisors are extremely professional, knowledgeable, and welcoming which made me feel comfortable and productive every time I scheduled a session. All Eastman students should take advantage of this valuable resource. I am a better musician, activist and ambassador of the arts because of them.”

Naomi Nakanishi, ’20E B.M. Jazz Studies and Contemporary Media in Piano

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

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The 8 Best Speakers To Make Your Music Sing In All Settings

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Headphones are great, but the best speakers can make your listening experience more natural and more social. You probably don’t want to watch TV exclusively with headphones, after all. Sometimes, you want a speaker to take to the beach or park to listen with your friends. Sometimes, you simply want to make your music sound the best it can in your home.

A speaker for every occasion—some of our best speakers include Bose, Ultimate Ears and Sonos.

No speaker is a one-size-fits-all situation, so you might want more than one option—a soundbar for your TV, a portable speaker for gardening and a shower speaker for... showering. Our top pick for the best speaker for most people is the Sonos Era 100 , but other options for specific needs are below.

• Best Speaker Overall: Sonos Era 100 Smart Speaker
• Best Hi-Fi Speakers: KEF LS50 Meta Passive Speakers (Pair)
• Best Bluetooth Speaker: Sonos Roam Bluetooth Speaker
• Best Smart Speaker: Sonos Era 300 Wireless Smart Speaker
• Best Waterproof Speaker: Ultimate Ears Wonderboom 3 Waterproof Speaker
• Best Soundbar: Samsung HW-Q990D Soundbar (Bundle)
• Best Shower Speaker: Bose SoundLink Flex Waterproof Speaker
• Best Portable Speaker: Bose Portable Smart Speaker

Best Speaker Overall

The best general-use speakers for most situations, sonos era 100 smart speaker.

Dimensions: 7.2 x 4.7 x 5.1 inches | Ports: USB-C (supports 3.5 mm and ethernet with dongle) | Wireless connectivity: Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, AirPlay 2 | Subwoofer: Supports Sonos Sub and Sub Mini (sold separately) | Voice assistant: Amazon Alexa, Sonos Voice Control | Spatial audio: None

Best for: Anyone who wants a great-sounding speaker that supports smart features and offers a sleek design.

Sonos has been building some of the best modern speakers for years now, and the Sonos Era 100 is a continuation of that tradition. The speaker replaces the much-loved Sonos One, offering even more powerful and rich audio. You can technically use the speaker with a Sonos subwoofer, but it actually offers pretty good bass response without one, along with good clarity and detail in the high end. This isn’t an audiophile-level speaker, but the vast majority of buyers will be surprised by how great the speaker sounds.

The Era 100 has Amazon Alexa and Sonos’ own voice assistant built in, and while it doesn’t have Siri built into it, it does support AirPlay 2 for multi-room audio in the Apple ecosystem. You can also control the speaker straight through the Sonos app, and you can connect it to a wider Sonos speaker system. For example, it can be used as rear speakers in a home theater system in conjunction with a Sonos soundbar. It has Bluetooth, and supports wired audio through the use of an adapter. Note: This isn’t a portable speaker—there’s no battery built into it, and it needs to be plugged in to a power outlet to use.

What our writers say: “The Era 100 isn’t for audiophiles, but it easily punches above its weight-class—and the smart features it has are the icing on the cake.”

• Excellent audio
• Tons of smart features
• Sleek and stylish design
• Limited Google support
• Adapter needed for most wired audio

Best Hi-Fi Speakers

Stunning audio and a premium build, kef ls50 meta passive speakers (pair).

Dimensions: 11 x 7.9 x 11.9 inches (each) | Ports: Speaker wire | Wireless connectivity: None

Best for: Those who prioritize top-tier audio and have the money to get it.

If there’s any set of “traditional” speakers on this list, the KEF LS50 Meta is it. These speakers are passive—so they need to be wired to an external amplifier. But if you have the ability to set up a dedicated speaker system, then these are the speakers to get—they sound absolutely stunning. They deliver deep bass and well-tuned mids with excellent detail and clarity in the high end. The speakers make any audio sound its absolute best, with things you’ve never heard before in your favorite tunes.

The speakers are really built for a specific purpose, so they don’t include smart features or voice assistants, and you wouldn’t necessarily expect that. The main issue you might have with the speakers is the price—but again, if the best-sounding audio is what you’re looking for, then they’re worth the cost.

What our writers say: “These embody what audiophile speakers can be, and the clarity and detail in the high-end immediately puts them in a different class than the vast majority of other speakers you’ll find out there right now.”

• Stunning audio
• Strong, sleek build
• Available in a few different colors
• Very expensive
• No smart features or wireless connectivity

Best Bluetooth Speaker

Easy connectivity and a portable build, sonos roam bluetooth speaker.

Dimensions: 6.61 x 2.3 x 2.4 inches | Ports: USB-C (charging only) | Wireless connectivity: Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, AirPlay 2 | Battery life: 10 hours | Water resistance: IP67 | Voice assistant: Amazon Alexa, Google Assistant, Sonos Voice Control

Best for: Those who want a great-sounding Bluetooth speaker that can be taken on the road.

Plenty of speakers on this list support Bluetooth, but if you’re specifically looking for a Bluetooth speaker then you’re probably looking for something you can take on the road—in which case the Sonos Roam is an excellent option. One of the best things about this speaker is the fact that it works with the wider Sonos ecosystem of speakers and, when you’re at home, connects through Wi-Fi for better multi-room audio. It even supports AirPlay 2 for Apple users, and you can use Amazon Alexa or Google Assistant. It has an IP67 water-resistance for better durability, so you can take it to the pool without having to worry about it getting splashed—just don’t submerge it.

The speaker sounds great, but as a smaller, cheaper speaker, it doesn’t sound as good as Sonos’ other options, especially when it comes to bass response. And, while the 10-hour battery life is enough for a day out, it’s not as high as other options, so keep it charged with the included wireless charger. That said, it’s perfect for those who want a smart speaker that boasts tons of smart features at home, but that can still be taken on the go.

What our writers say: “The fact that this speaker can be taken on the road, but then used at home with Sonos’ full feature-set, makes it much more versatile than the average Bluetooth speaker.”

• Still has all the Sonos smarts
• IP67 water-resistance
• Battery life is a little low
• Bass is slightly limited

Best Smart Speaker

Super smart and great-sounding, sonos era 300 wireless smart speaker.

Dimensions: 6.3 x 10.2 x 7.3 inches | Ports: USB-C (supports 3.5 mm and ethernet with dongle) | Wireless connectivity: Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, AirPlay 2 | Subwoofer: Supports Sonos Sub (sold separately) | Voice assistant: Amazon Alexa, Sonos Voice Control | Spatial audio: Dolby Atmos

Best for: Those who want the best-sounding smart speaker available right now.

The Sonos Era 100 is a great all-around speaker, but if you want the best smart speaker, the Sonos Era 300 is it. The Era 300 has all the smart features you would expect from a Sonos speaker, such as integration with other Sonos speakers, AirPlay 2 support, and Amazon Alexa and Sonos Voice Control built in.

But where the Era 300 really shines is in its audio quality. Its size allows it to offer deeper and punchier bass than smaller smart speakers, and it still offers excellent detail in the high end. Its unusual shape lets it bounce audio off the ceiling and walls around it for a full Dolby Atmos experience. That can make listening to music a little more immersive, and it helps for those who want to use the speaker with a Sonos home theater system—such as for rear speakers paired with a Sonos soundbar. The speaker is a little expensive and a little bulky, but for those who want the best smart speaker experience out there, it’s the way to go.

What our writers say: “I use two Era 300 speakers in conjunction with a Sonos Arc soundbar, and love the fact that it delivers a more immersive, Dolby Atmos experience, on top of supporting all the smart features I would expect from Sonos.”

• Great frequency response
• Tons of features
• Supports Dolby Atmos
• A bit bulky

Best Waterproof Speaker

Perfect for the beach or the pool, ultimate ears wonderboom 3 waterproof speaker.

Dimensions: 4.7 x 4.5 x 4.7 inches | Ports: Micro-USB port (charging only) | Wireless connectivity: Bluetooth | Battery life: 14 hours | Water resistance: IP67

Best for: Those who want something relatively inexpensive they can use at the beach.

The Ultimate Ears Wonderboom 3 is the best choice for those looking for a portable waterproof speaker. To be clear, the speaker has the same level of water-resistance as the Sonos Roam speaker, which is also on this list. But if you’re looking for something to use occasionally near the pool or at the beach, you probably don’t want to spend as much as the Sonos Roam costs. That’s where the Wonderboom 3 comes in. It’s not as amazing-sounding or as feature-rich, but it does have Bluetooth built into it, and a pretty good frequency response overall, especially for something in its price range.

The speaker is a little low-tech. Unfortunately, it has a Micro-USB port for charging, not a newer USB-C port. And, it really only connects through Bluetooth—there’s no wired or Wi-Fi connectivity. But, it does have some helpful design touches to it, including a loop to hang it up and big volume buttons for easy control. Ultimately, it’s an excellent option for those who want something to blast tunes with their friends by the pool. It’s available in a bunch of cool colors, too.

What the reviews say: One Amazon reviewer was particularly impressed with the audio quality for such a small speaker. “I’ve been searching for a compact speaker that delivers impressive sound quality without sacrificing portability, and this speaker exceeds all expectations.”

• Compact build
• Inexpensive
• Solid audio for the price
• Limited feature-set

Best Soundbar

A full home theater in your living room, samsung hw-q990d soundbar (bundle).

Dimensions: 48.5 x 2.7 x 5.4 inches (main soundbar) | Ports: 2 x HDMi 2.1 in, 1 x HDMI 2.1 out, optical | Wireless connectivity: Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, AirPlay 2, Google Chromecast | Subwoofer: Yes, included | Channels: 11.1.4 | Voice assistant: Amazon Alexa, Bixby | Spatial audio: Dolby Atmos, DTS:X

Best for: Those who want to turn their living room into a full home theater.

The best soundbar available right now is the Samsung HW-Q990D. This is actually a larger home theater package that comes with rear speakers and a subwoofer for full-bodied, immersive audio. When it’s all set up, the system supports Dolby Atmos and DTS:X, so you get a complete surround-sound experience. The soundbar has two HDMI 2.1 inputs that can pass through to your TV, and it supports all the latest-and-greatest gaming tech, including a variable refresh rate from your PlayStation 5 or Xbox Series X. It also supports all the major wireless connectivity standards, including AirPlay 2 and Google Chromecast, so you can use it as part of a wider multi-room audio setup.

The main downside is the fact that the system is more expensive than most soundbars out there right now. Additionally, it is a little complicated to install, especially given the fact that installing it involves placing rear speakers for surround sound. That said, if you can afford the HW-Q990D and don’t mind spending some time to set it all up, it’s easily the best soundbar setup you can get right now.

What our writers say: “The HW-Q990D is a follow-up to the HW-Q990C, which offered one of the best-sounding, most immersive audio experiences you could get in your living room.”

• Stunning audio quality
• Supports all modern wireless standards
• Dolby Atmos and DTS:X support
• Slightly complicated setup

Best Shower Speaker

Don't stop listening, even in the shower, bose soundlink flex waterproof speaker.

Dimensions: 3.6 x 7.9 x 2.1 inches | Ports: USB-C (charging only) | Wireless connectivity: Bluetooth | Battery life: 12 hours | Water resistance: IP67

Best for: Those who want to keep up-to-date on their podcasts and favorite tunes even when they’re getting clean.

Who wants to stop listening to music just because they’re headed into the shower? There are plenty of shower speakers out there, but the best of them is the Bose SoundLink Flex. Sure, it’s expensive and slightly bulky, but it looks good, sounds great and is water-resistant enough to survive shower use. The speaker has an IP67 water-resistance rating, which means that while you should do your best to avoid completely submerging it, it withstands splashes from the shower or an accidental quick drop in the tub.

Even better is the fact that the speaker sounds great, as you would expect from Bose. It’s a little larger than many other shower speakers—it has larger drivers that can deliver deeper bass—coupled with a detailed and clear high-end response. It connects to your device through Bluetooth, and comes in a range of fun colors.

What the reviews say: One reviewer on Amazon was particularly impressed with the audio quality for a speaker of this size. “It has surpassed my expectations in several key areas. The sound quality, for starters, is incredible for a speaker of its size. The bass is robust and punchy, mids are clear and crisp, while the highs are distinct, creating a well-rounded and immersive audio experience.”

• Great audio response
• Sleek design
• Bulky for a shower speaker

Best Portable Speaker

Deep, rich audio wherever you go, bose portable smart speaker.

Dimensions: 7.5 x 4.7 x 4.1 inches | Ports: USB-C (charging only) | Wireless connectivity: Bluetooth, Wi-Fi, AirPlay 2 | Battery life: 12 hours | Water resistance: IPX4 | Voice assistant: Alexa, Google Assistant

Best for: Those who want the best on-the-go audio experience they can get.

If you’re looking for a high-end speaker that you can take wherever you go, then the Bose Portable Smart Speaker is the speaker to get. This certainly isn’t the only portable speaker on this list—and if you’re specifically looking for water-resistance, it’s worth considering the others. But, if simply getting something that’s portable yet still sounds amazing is your priority, then the Bose Portable Smart Speaker is a great option. The speaker is a little larger than some others, but it delivers deep, rich bass and a well-tuned frequency response overall. It has a 12-hour battery life, which is fine, but not incredible.

The speaker supports Bluetooth for use outside of the home, but it also works with an array of other standards, including AirPlay 2. And, it has the option for either Amazon Alexa or Google Assistant built right into it, so it can be integrated into a wider smart home and multi-room audio setup. Sure, the speaker is expensive, but given how versatile it is, and that it’s useful inside the home as much as outside, it could be worth it for many buyers.

What the reviews say: A reviewer on Amazon was particular impressed with the solid bass response on offer by this speaker. “The sound quality is markedly superior to the smaller Bose Flex or the B&O A1 speaker I replaced. A clear difference is being able to hear the distinct bass notes, while the smaller speakers produce bass sound that isn’t clear.”

• Detailed audio
• Good smart features
• Strong build
• Battery life could be better

The 7 Best LED Face Masks, According To Dermatologists

The best luggage for international travel 2024, approved by our editor, why trust forbes vetted.

At Forbes Vetted, we’re proud of our extensive library of tech and audio articles . We offer dozens of guides about speakers and headphones , as well as more niche products like turntables and streaming microphones .

• This guide was written by Christian de Looper , who has over a decade of experience writing about consumer technology, and specifically has a background in audio. He even earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Music Technology.
• Christian has written many consumer tech and audio guides for Forbes Vetted, including on wireless earbuds under $100 , the best karaoke machines and our tested best gaming headsets guide.
• All picks in this guide were approved by Rebecca Isaacs , Forbes Vetted’s tech editor, a consumer technology expert who has years of experience writing about and covering all the latest gadgets.
• The world of tech and audio moves fast, so we make every effort to keep our content accurate and up-to-date. This article was last updated in May 2024.

How We Chose The Best Speakers

In building this list of the best speakers, we leveraged our own expertise and years of experience covering the speaker and smart home industries.

• We first looked at the different categories of speakers, and the top products that we’ve tested that are consistently recommended in those categories.
• Factors we considered included things like audio quality, connectivity options, design, and more.
• In certain situations, we also looked at metrics like water-resistance— like it the speakers are recommended for outdoor and shower use.
• We also pored over reviews from real buyers to make sure others’ experience aligned without own. We didn’t include any options that weren’t top-rated by reviewers.

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Janet Jackson is bold, fierce as she delivers the hits: Best moments of 'Together Again' tour

BRISTOW, Va. – All Janet Jackson needs to do is look fierce and snap “gimme a beat,” and everything falls into place.

At the 13 th of the 37 shows of her Together Again tour , Jackson maintained her hallmark precision throughout a nearly two-hour reminiscence of her 40-year career. It is a production choreographed by every definition, with five acts and an encore, 34 songs – though many are carved into medleys – and casual-cool fashion statements.

The 20,000-plus packing every inch of Jiffy Lube Live amphitheater in Northern Virginia on Saturday didn’t seem fazed by the bass-heavy mix that rendered some vocals inaudible. They just wanted to marvel at Jackson, who turns 57 on May 16, as she slithered her hips, squared her shoulders and invited the audience to head-bob along with her.

Here are some highlights from Jackson’s first tour in four years.

Janet Jackson packs the smashes into Act 2

Against a stark white backdrop with swirled black accents, Jackson and her dance troupe rolls through hits from Jackson’s first No. 1 pop album, 1986’s Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis-produced “Control.”

Need a break? Play the USA TODAY Daily Crossword Puzzle.

The tour version of “What Have You Done For Me Lately?” offers an incessant bass line that pumps with shades of Madonna’s “Vogue.” Jackson’s dancers reproduce some of the most memorable moves from the song’s video (the backward hand wave still sends a message), while she saves her toughest moves – taut elbow snaps and rapid knee knocks – for “Nasty.”

Though Jackson doesn't talk much throughout the show, she reminds the crowd that “When I Think Of You,” performed with flirty cutesiness, was her first No. 1 hit.

In her black pants and white top with symmetrical black stripes, Jackson grins as she uses a chair as a dance prop during “Control,” which drips with finger-snapping sass.

The second half of Act 2 is dedicated to Jackson’s balladry, and she finally takes a breather and sits while she sings. Her voice – which isn’t often heard too robustly during the show – is light and pretty during “Again.” After holding a long note toward the end of the ballad, Jackson tears up, putting her hand over her eyes as she tries to finish the song. Her emotion seems prompted by her ability to hit the challenging note and the crowd’s rapturous response.

Janet Jackson is performing rarely played songs on tour

The first hint that Jackson’s show is going to span far beyond her dozens of hits comes with the strains of music heard on stage – “Damita Jo,” the title track of her 2004 album that isn’t heralded as often as her MTV-era work.

During Act 3, Jackson mentions that one of the joys of her live performances is the ability to “play songs that I haven’t played on tour before.”

Fans didn’t seem to expect an appearance from “Throb,” a track from her 1993 eponymous album, or a medley that included “Girlfriend/Boyfriend” – Jackson’s 1999 collaboration with Blackstreet – and “Do It 2 Me,” from 2006’s “20 Y.O.” release.

The hip-hop dance track “So Excited,” also from “20 Y.O.” was mostly ignored on radio upon its release but found a home in the clubs. The crowd’s reaction indicates that many fans were hardly unfamiliar with it.

Janet Jackson makes several fashion statements

For her opening act, Jackson opts for a regal look of a gold body suit accented with a purple sash to match her backup dancers. Of course, she wears her patented headset throughout the night and also dons a lengthy high ponytail that bounces with her every step.

When Jackson gets rolling in Act 3 with a fizzy rendition of “All For You,” she bops around the stage, all writhing hips and shuffling feet, in a hot pink jumpsuit accented with green plaid.

And by the Act 4 hit parade that includes “Miss You Much” and "Love Will Never Do (Without You)," Jackson comes down from a raised platform sporting a black hooded cape and a black shirt emblazoned with Rhythm Nation – fitting, since, of course, this is the segment that wraps with “Rhythm Nation,” her sharp-edged social commentary from 1989’s “Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814,” her most formidable album.

Live, live, live

• Bono flies solo: U2 frontman's Beacon Theatre show will make you laugh, cry and sing
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Kendrick Lamar vs. Drake Beef Goes Nuclear: What to Know

The two rappers had circled one another for more than a decade, but their attacks turned relentless and very personal in a slew of tracks released over the weekend.

By Joe Coscarelli

The long-building and increasingly testy rap beef between Kendrick Lamar and Drake exploded into full-bore acrimony and unverifiable accusations over the weekend. Both artists rapid-fire released multiple songs littered with attacks regarding race, appropriation, sexual and physical abuse, body image, misogyny, hypocrisy, generational trauma and more.

Most relentless was Lamar, a Pulitzer Prize winner from Compton, Calif., who tends toward the isolated and considered but has now released four verbose and conceptual diss tracks — totaling more than 20 minutes of new music — targeting Drake in the last week, including three since Friday.

Each racked up millions of streams and the three that were made available commercially — “Euphoria,” “Meet the Grahams” and “Not Like Us” — are expected to land near the top of next week’s Billboard singles chart, while seeming to, at least momentarily, shift the public perception of Drake, long a maestro of the online public arena and meme ecosystem .

In between, on Friday night, Drake released his own broadside against Lamar — plus a smattering of other recent challengers — in a teasing Instagram interlude plus a three-part track and elaborate music video titled “Family Matters,” in which he referred to his rival as a fake activist and attempted to expose friction and alleged abuse in Lamar’s romantic relationship.

But that song was followed within half an hour by Lamar’s “Meet the Grahams,” an ominous extended address to the parents and young son of Drake, born Aubrey Graham, in which Lamar refers to his rival rapper as a liar and “pervert” who “should die” in order to make the world safer for women.

Lamar also seemed to assert that Drake had more than a decade ago fathered a secret daughter — echoing the big reveal of his son from Drake’s last headline rap beef — a claim Drake quickly denied on Instagram before hitting back in another song on Sunday. (Neither man has addressed the full array of rapped allegations directly.)

On Tuesday, a security guard was shot and seriously injured outside of Drake’s Toronto home, which appeared on the cover art for Lamar’s “Not Like Us.” Authorities said they could not yet speak to a motive in the shooting, but the investigation was ongoing. Representatives for Drake and Lamar did not immediately comment.

How did two of the most famous artists in the world decide to take the gloves off and bring real-life venom into an extended sparring match for rap supremacy? It was weeks, months and years in the making, with a sudden, breakneck escalation into hip-hop infamy. Here’s a breakdown.

Since late March, the much-anticipated head-to-head seemed inevitable. Following years of “will they or won’t they?” lyrical feints, Lamar hit directly on record first this year during a surprise appearance on the song “Like That” by the Atlanta rapper Future and the producer Metro Boomin, both formerly frequent Drake collaborators.

With audible disgust, Lamar invoked the track “First Person Shooter” from last year’s Drake album, “For All the Dogs,” in which a guest verse from J. Cole referred to himself, Drake and Lamar as “the big three” of modern MCs.

Lamar took exception to the grouping, declaring that there was no big three, “just big me.” He also called himself the Prince to Drake’s Michael Jackson — a deeper, more complex artist versus a troubled, pop-oriented hitmaker.

“Like That” spent three weeks at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100, as Future and Metro Boomin released two chart-topping albums — “We Don’t Trust You” and “We Still Don’t Trust You” — that were anchored by a parade of Drake’s past associates, each of whom seemed to share a simmering distaste toward the rapper, who later called the ambush a “20 v. 1” fight.

In early April, J. Cole fought back momentarily , releasing the song “7 Minute Drill,” in which he called Lamar overrated, before backtracking, apologizing and having the song removed from streaming services. But Drake soon picked up the baton, releasing a wide-ranging diss track called “Push Ups” less than a week later that addressed the field, with a special focus on Lamar’s height, shoe size and supposedly disadvantageous business dealings.

Less than a week later, Drake mocked Lamar’s lack of a response on “Taylor Made Freestyle,” a track released only on social media. It featured Drake taunting Lamar for being scared to release music at the same time as Taylor Swift and using A.I. voice filters to mimic Tupac and Snoop Dogg imploring Lamar to battle for the good of the West Coast.

“Since ‘Like That,’ your tone changed a little, you not as enthused,” Drake rapped in an abbreviated third verse, as himself. “How are you not in the booth? It feel like you kinda removed.” (“Taylor Made Freestyle” was later removed from the internet at the request of the Tupac Estate.)

But it was a seemingly tossed-off line from the earlier “Push Ups” that included the name of Lamar’s longtime romantic partner — “I be with some bodyguards like Whitney” — that Lamar would later allude to as a red line crossed, making all subject matter fair game in the songs to come. (It was this same alleged faux pas that may have triggered an intensification of Drake’s beef with Pusha T in 2018.)

How We Got Here

Even with Drake-dissing cameos from Future, Ye (formerly Kanye West), Rick Ross, the Weeknd and ASAP Rocky, the main event was always going to be between Drake, 37, and Lamar, 36, who have spent more than a decade subtly antagonizing one another in songs while maintaining an icy frenemy rapport in public.

In 2011, when Drake introduced Lamar to mainstream audiences with a dedicated showcase on his second album, “Take Care,” and an opening slot on the subsequent arena tour, the tone was one of side-eying competition. “He said that he was the same age as myself/and it didn’t help ’cause it made me even more rude and impatient,” Lamar rapped on “Buried Alive Interlude” of his earliest encounter with a more-famous Drake. (On his Instagram on Friday, Drake released a parody of the track, citing Lamar’s jealousy since then.)

The pair went on to appear together on “Poetic Justice,” a single from Lamar’s debut album, “Good Kid, M.A.A.D City,” in 2012, as well as “___ Problems” by ASAP Rocky the same year.

But their collaborations ceased as Drake became his generation’s premier hitmaker across styles in hip-hop and beyond, while Lamar burrowed deeper into his own psyche on knotty concept albums that brought wide critical acclaim alongside less constant commercial success.

When asked, the two rappers tended to profess admiration for one another’s skill, but seemed to trade subtle digs in verses over the years, always with plausible deniability and in the spirit of competition, leading to something of a hip-hop cold war.

The Week It Went Nuclear

Lamar’s first targeted response, “Euphoria,” was more than six minutes long and released last Tuesday morning. In three sections that raised the temperature as they built, he warned Drake about proceeding and insisted, somewhat facetiously, that things were still friendly. “Know you a master manipulator and habitual liar too,” Lamar rapped. “But don’t tell no lie about me and I won’t tell truths ’bout you.”

He accused the biracial Drake, who was born and raised in Toronto, of imitating Black American heritage and insulting him subliminally. “I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk, I hate the way that you dress,” Lamar said. “I hate the way that you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it’s gon’ be direct.” And he called Drake’s standing as a father into question: “Teachin’ him morals, integrity, discipline/listen, man, you don’t know nothin’ ’bout that.”

Days later, Lamar doubled down with an Instagram-only track called “6:16 in LA,” borrowing both Drake’s “Back to Back” diss tactic from his 2015 beef with Meek Mill and a song title structure lifted from what is known as Drake’s time-stamp series of raps. Opting for psychological warfare on a beat produced in part by Jack Antonoff, Swift’s chief collaborator, Lamar hinted that he had a mole in Drake’s operation and was aware of his opponent’s opposition research.

“Fake bully, I hate bullies, you must be a terrible person,” he rapped. “Everyone inside your team is whispering that you deserve it.”

That night, Drake’s “Family Matters” started with its own justification for getting personal — “You mentioned my seed, now deal with his dad/I gotta go bad, I gotta go bad” — before taking on Lamar’s fatherhood and standing as a man in excruciating detail. “They hired a crisis management team to clean up the fact that you beat on your queen,” Drake rapped. “The picture you painted ain’t what it seem/you’re dead.”

Yet in a chess move that seemed to anticipate Drake’s familial line of attack, Lamar’s “Meet the Grahams” was released almost immediately. “This supposed to be a good exhibition within the game,” Lamar said, noting that Drake had erred “the moment you called out my family’s name.” Instead of a rap battle, Lamar concluded after another six minutes of psychological dissection, “this a long life battle with yourself.”

He wasn’t done yet. Dispensing with subtlety, Lamar followed up again less than 24 hours later with “Not Like Us,” a bouncy club record in a Los Angeles style that delighted in more traditional rap beef territory, like juvenile insults, proudly unsubstantiated claims of sexual preferences and threats of violence.

Lamar, however, didn’t leave it at that, throwing one more shot at Drake’s authenticity as a rapper, calling him a greedy and artificial user as a collaborator — “not a colleague,” but a “colonizer.”

On Sunday evening, Drake responded yet again. On “The Heart Part 6,” a title taken from Lamar’s career-spanning series, Drake denied the accusation that he preyed on young women, indicated that he had planted the bad information about his fake daughter and seemed to sigh away the fight as “some good exercise.”

“It’s good to get out, get the pen working,” Drake said in an exhausted outro. “You would be a worthy competitor if I was really a predator.” He added, “You know, at least your fans are getting some raps out of you. I’m happy I could motivate you.”

Joe Coscarelli is a culture reporter with a focus on popular music, and the author of “Rap Capital: An Atlanta Story.” More about Joe Coscarelli

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• Overall Bank Rating
• Pros and Cons
• Savings Review
• Checking Review
• Money Market Account Review

About Crescent Bank

Methodology, how crescent bank compares, crescent bank review 2024.

Affiliate links for the products on this page are from partners that compensate us and terms apply to offers listed (see our advertiser disclosure with our list of partners for more details). However, our opinions are our own. See how we rate banking products to write unbiased product reviews.

Crescent Bank Overall Rating

Crescent bank pros and cons, crescent bank personal statement savings review.

no monthly service fee

• Check mark icon A check mark. It indicates a confirmation of your intended interaction. No monthly service fees
• Check mark icon A check mark. It indicates a confirmation of your intended interaction. No excessive transaction fees
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. Must open an account at a branch
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. Interest compounds quarterly, not daily or monthly
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. $100 minimum opening deposit
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. No interest earned for the month if your balance falls under $100
• You must open this account in a Crescent Bank branch
• 3 branches in Louisiana (New Orleans, Mandeville, and Metairie)
• When you keep at least $100 in your account, you’ll earn interest for the month
• Interest compounded and paid quarterly
• Many banks charge an excessive transaction fee if you go over 6 withdrawals per month from savings; Crescent Bank does not charge this fee
• Member FDIC

The Crescent Bank Personal Statement Savings account has no monthly service fee, including statement, minimum balance, dormancy, or excessive transaction fees. There's a minimum opening deposit of $100, and you'll earn 1.70% APY (Annual Percentage Yield) on balances above that amount. The interest compounds quarterly. 

Crescent Bank also offers a Jumbo Savings account that pays a higher rate and compounds interest monthly. However, there's a $100,000 minimum to open an account, and you'll earn the Personal Statement Savings APY if your balance dips below that amount. Most savers should be able to find a better (and more flexible) deal: The best high-yield savings accounts right now are paying more than 5.00% APY with lower minimum balances.  

You'll have to visit a branch to open either type of Crescent savings account.

Compare Today's Rates

Crescent Bank Personal NOW Account Review

up to $10 monthly service fee

• Check mark icon A check mark. It indicates a confirmation of your intended interaction. Earn interest on your checking balance
• Check mark icon A check mark. It indicates a confirmation of your intended interaction. Unlimited check-writing privileges
• Check mark icon A check mark. It indicates a confirmation of your intended interaction. No overdraft fees
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. $1,000 minimum opening deposit
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. $10 monthly service fee (unless you qualify to waive it)
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. No interest earned if you balance falls under $1,000
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. Interest compounded monthly, not daily
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. $1.25 out-of-network ATM fee
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. Doesn’t reimburse any fees charged by out-of-network ATM providers
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. No overdraft protection; if a transaction would overdraw the account, Crescent denies the transaction
• 3 branches in Louisiana (New Orleans, Mandeville, and Metairie); ATMs are only at New Orleans and Metairie locations
• When you keep at least $1,000 in your account, you’ll earn interest for the month and waive the monthly service fee
• Interest compounded and paid monthly

The Crescent Bank Personal NOW Account offers a 1.40% APY on balances of $1,000 and above, and the interest compounds monthly.

There's a $1,000 minimum to open an account, and you can avoid paying the service fee (and earn interest) by keeping your balance above that threshold.

Crescent Bank also offers a standard personal checking account with a lower opening deposit and lower monthly fees. You won't earn interest, though.

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Crescent Bank CD Review

4.10% to 5.00%

• Check mark icon A check mark. It indicates a confirmation of your intended interaction. High interest rate
• Check mark icon A check mark. It indicates a confirmation of your intended interaction. Standard CD terms
• Check mark icon A check mark. It indicates a confirmation of your intended interaction. Standard early withdrawal penalties
• 3 branches in Louisiana
• Terms range from 12 months to 5 years
• Early withdrawal penalties: 90 days interest for a 1-year CD term; 180 days interest for all other CD terms
• Interest compounded and deposited monthly

CDs are the bank's strongest products. Crescent Bank CD rates are high overall, but especially on its 12-month term, which pays 5.00% APY. For all CDs, the minimum deposit is $1,000, and the funds must originate from a financial institution other than Crescent Bank. Unlike other Crescent accounts, you can open CDs online. Still, you'll find the best CD rates at other online banks.

Crescent Bank Money Market Account Review

$10 monthly service fee

1.70% to 2.20%

• Check mark icon A check mark. It indicates a confirmation of your intended interaction. Check-writing capabilities
• Check mark icon A check mark. It indicates a confirmation of your intended interaction. Includes ATM card
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. $10 monthly service fee unless you qualify to waive it
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. No interest earned for the month if your balance falls under $1,000
• con icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. Interest compounds monthly, not daily

The Crescent Bank Money Market Account offers check-writing capabilities, unlimited deposits, and ATM cash withdrawals (unlike some other money market accounts, this one doesn't come with a debit card).

There's a minimum opening deposit of $1,000 and a $10 monthly service fee each month your balance falls under that amount. You'll earn a higher rate on balances of $100,000 or higher, and interest compounds monthly. The best money market accounts right now pay much higher rates with lower minimum deposits.

Like Crescent Bank's checking and savings accounts, you'll have to visit a branch to open a money market account. 

Crescent Bank is a New Orleans-based community bank that was established in 1991 as City Bank & Trust, eventually rebranding to its current name in 2022 — the name was chosen to pay homage to one of New Orleans' nicknames, the "Crescent City." Crescent Bank has three branches, with ATMs at two branches (there's no ATM at the Mandeville location).

The bank is best known for offering auto loans , especially to borrowers with low credit scores. It also provides local banking services to the greater New Orleans area and online CDs to consumers nationwide. 

Live phone support is available Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. CT. A separate after-hours phone number is listed on the Crescent Bank website for nights and weekends.

Unlike many banks, Crescent Bank doesn't offer a mobile app (the best mobile banking apps have user-friendly interfaces that make managing your account easy).  Still, the bank provides 24/7 online access to your account. Crescent Bank is an FDIC-member bank , so deposits are insured up to $250,000 per depositor, per account ownership type. 

Is Crescent Bank Trustworthy?

Crescent Bank is accredited by the Better Business Bureau with an A+ rating . A strong BBB grade indicates a company responds effectively to customer complaints, maintains transparent business practices, and makes truthful advertising claims. However, remember that BBB ratings don't guarantee a company's reliability or performance. 

According to the Identity Theft Resource Center , Crescent Bank has had no data breaches within the last five years. 

The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) has received only one complaint about Crescent in the past year. However, the CFPB has received thousands of complaints about Crescent Bank's parent company, CB&T Holding Corp. Most complaints fall under two categories: improper use of a credit report and incorrect information on a credit report.   

Crescent Bank FAQs

Yes, Crescent Bank is a legitimate bank serving the greater New Orleans community and online CD customers nationwide. The bank offers auto loans and personal and business checking, savings, CD, and money market accounts. 

Yes, Crescent Bank is an FDIC-member bank, so deposits are protected up to $250,000 per depositor, per account ownership type. 

Crescent Bank offers online CDs with rates ranging from 4.10% to 5.00% APY. These are the bank's most competitive rates, and CDs are the only Crescent accounts you can open online.

Yes, Crescent Bank is a Member FDIC bank . Deposits are insured up to $250,000 for an individual account, and $500,000 for a joint account.

We rated Crescent Bank's accounts and services using Personal Finance Insider's bank account methodology . We generally look at customer support, mobile apps, ethics, and other factors depending on the type of account we're reviewing. For example, we consider minimum deposits and monthly fees for checking accounts, and early withdrawal penalties and interest rates for CDs . 

Because CDs are Crescent Bank's strongest products — and the only accounts they offer online — we've compared the bank to two other online banks with strong CDs.

Crescent Bank vs. CFG Bank

CFG Bank is a community bank serving local communities in Baltimore and Annapolis, Maryland. Like many community banks, it offers online CDs to customers nationwide. CFG Bank currently pays 4.05% to 5.31% APY on CDs.

Compared to Crescent Bank, CFG Bank has fewer term options, with 12-, 18-, 36-, and 60-month terms. Still, you can open a CD with $500 — half of Crescent Bank's minimum requirement.

Both Crescent Bank and CFG Bank are FDIC-member banks, so deposits are insured up to $250,000 per depositor, per account ownership type.

Crescent Bank vs. BrioDirect

BrioDirect is an online subsidiary of FDIC-member Webster Bank, a regional bank with branches throughout Connecticut, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and the New York Metro area.

BrioDirect offers an extensive lineup of CD maturities ranging from one to 60 months, but the sweet spot is its 12-month CD, which currently pays 5.00% APY. The bank offers other CD terms, but the rates are poor compared with many online banks, Crescent Bank included.

Editorial Note: Any opinions, analyses, reviews, or recommendations expressed in this article are the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, approved, or otherwise endorsed by any card issuer. Read our editorial standards .

Please note: While the offers mentioned above are accurate at the time of publication, they're subject to change at any time and may have changed, or may no longer be available.

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• Main content

Qantas fixes data breach after passengers' personal details shared

Qantas says it has resolved an issue with its app that allowed customers to view the details of other passengers, including names and upcoming flight plans.

The airline has issued an apology for the blunder and has sought to reassure customers that the technical disruption was not a cyber security incident.

Qantas said current investigations indicated the problem, which emerged Wednesday morning, was caused by a technology issue that may be related to recent system changes.

“At this stage, there is no indication of a cyber security incident,” the airline said in a statement.

“We sincerely apologise to customers impacted by the issue with the Qantas app Wednesday morning, which has now been resolved.”

Qantas said “some” frequent flyers had been able to view the travel information of other customers, such as their name, upcoming flight details, and points balance.

“No further personal or financial information was shared and customers would not have been able to transfer or use the Qantas Points of other frequent flyers,” they said.

“We’re not aware of any customers travelling with incorrect boarding passes.”

The scale of the issue has not yet been confirmed.

One passenger has told the ABC they could see another customer's name on their app as well as their boarding pass for a flight.

Qantas customer Josh Withers, from Hobart, said he noticed an issue with the app when he opened it. 

It showed him the details of a customer called Sam.

"It said, 'Hi Sam' and I instantly noticed Sam had a lot more Qantas points than I did," Mr Withers said.

When he closed the app and opened it again, he saw another customer's details.

Mr Withers said he did this several more times and saw other details each time.

Mr Withers is a wedding celebrant and flies frequently for his work.

Details from their home screen dashboard, including their frequent flyer points, their status, and scheduled flights could be seen.

"It's a pretty big concern because it's the personal details as to the where and when we're flying," he said.

"It's a pretty big privacy concern for me."

• X (formerly Twitter)

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'The journey will take time': Qantas boss promises improved service as airfares, profits fall

'Heads have to roll': Senator calls for Qantas board resignations over worker court case

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Music and music technology personal statement example.

Music has always been one of my main interests and passions and I have always strived to learn and develop my skills and understanding of music as much as possible in my free time. It was only recently that I decided to pursue this interest further and study it full-time, academically at university as it is what I truly believe I want to be doing all my life.

It all started when I was eleven years old in secondary school and I was exposed to all kinds of genres of music rather than the standard chart hits I was listening to prior. I thought it was amazing how much great music there is out there and it wasn’t long before I decided I wanted to be able to play some music myself. This led me to start playing the guitar as soon as I could afford one. Over the years I eventually moved on to learn the drums and piano as well, which further helped my understanding of music and how different instruments all come together to create certain types of sounds.

Of course I was eager to form and join bands all the time and that only boosted my enthusiasm for the art – playing alongside and discussing music with fellow musicians gave me an incredible amount of confidence and skills I wouldn’t have obtained otherwise. It wasn’t until I started making recordings of my bands that I stumbled upon the production side of music. It amazed me how vast the area of music production was and it gave me further passion and drive for music as there was all these new areas to learn. Straight away I dug into using software such as Ableton Live and Cubase to record, create and edit my own sounds and that further increased my understanding and thirst to learn even more about sound engineering.

Other than just playing and creating music, I’ve also always enjoyed going to gigs, festivals and such, just to see music being performed live. I always get engrossed with how musicians play and thoroughly enjoy seeing their techniques as well as enjoying the sound itself. In later years when I started going to clubs and raves I discovered the wonderful art of DJing and that was yet another skill I wanted to learn for myself. By this point you could say I was completely obsessed with music and was what I spent all my free time indulging in.

In college I chose to study ICT as that another of my main interests. Since I was nine I’ve explored and studied a variety of areas including web development, networking, programming and hardware assembly. It made sense for me to study ICT post-secondary school as I’ve always been surrounded by it, whether I’m developing software for someone or troubleshooting a friend’s PC. This turned out well as I easily achieved three distinctions at the end of my BTEC and a CCNA networking qualification.

Work-wise, I have worked in the catering business for a number of years now, starting with working part-time behind the counter at a few local takeaways. Then I moved onto taking on a full-time kitchen porter job at a busy sushi restaurant alongside college, eventually working my way up to becoming a commis chef there. Currently I work part-time as a sous-chef at a reputable local restaurant and part-time expediting at a busy local takeaway. These years of experience gave me a great number of invaluable workplace skills – teamwork, punctuality, communication, coordination and the ability to work hard and well.

Overall, I see myself as a person who is keen and willing to learn and experiment with new ideas and technologies, and I hope that doing a music technology course will fuel my passion for music and help me get to where I want to be in the future.

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This personal statement was written by jeff043 for application in 2013.

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