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Me Talk Pretty One Day

Written by: David Sedaris

• Narrated by: David Sedaris
• Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
• 4.6 out of 5 stars 4.6 (204 ratings)

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• Narrated by: David Sedaris, Amy Sedaris
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• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 57
• Performance 5 out of 5 stars 46
• Story 4.5 out of 5 stars 46

Welcome to the hilarious, strange, elegiac, outrageous world of David Sedaris. In Naked , Sedaris turns the current mania for the memoir on its proverbial ear, mining the exceedingly rich terrain of his life, his family, and his unique worldview, a sensibility at once take-no-prisoners sharp and deeply charitable.

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• By Jennifiend on 2023-01-25

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• Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
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Once again, David Sedaris brings together a collection of essays so uproariously funny and profoundly moving that his legions of fans will fall for him all over again. He tests the limits of love when Hugh lances a boil from his backside, and pushes the boundaries of laziness when, finding the water shut off in his house in Normandy, he looks to the water in a vase of fresh cut flowers to fill the coffee machine.

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• Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
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Back when restaurant menus were still printed on paper, and wearing a mask—or not—was a decision made mostly on Halloween, David Sedaris spent his time doing normal things. As Happy-Go-Lucky opens, he is learning to shoot guns with his sister, visiting muddy flea markets in Serbia, buying gummy worms to feed to ants, and telling his nonagenarian father wheelchair jokes. But then the pandemic hits, and like so many others, he’s stuck in lockdown, unable to tour and read for audiences, the part of his work he loves most.

• 2 out of 5 stars

disappointed

• By Thought this would be a brilliant efficient time saver, but after a few uses found it more frustrating than helpful, and just went back to handwashing brushes on 2023-01-06

Barrel Fever and Other Stories

• Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 13
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In David Sedaris' world, no one is safe and no cow is sacred. A manic cross between Mark Leyner, Fran Lebowitz, and the National Enquirer , Sedaris' collection of essays is a rollicking tour through the national Zeitgeist: a do-it-yourself suburban dad saves money by performing home surgery; a man who is loved too much flees the heavyweight champion of the world; a teenage suicide tries to incite a lynch mob at her funeral; a bitter Santa abuses the elves.

A Carnival of Snackery

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• Length: 17 hrs and 8 mins
• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 119
• Performance 5 out of 5 stars 100
• Story 4.5 out of 5 stars 97

If it’s navel-gazing you’re after, you’ve come to the wrong place; ditto treacly self-examination. Rather, his observations turn outward: a fight between two men on a bus, a fight between two men on the street, pedestrians being whacked over the head or gathering to watch as a man considers leap­ing to his death. There’s a dirty joke shared at a book signing, then a dirtier one told at a dinner party - lots of jokes here. Plenty of laughs.

• By Stephen Sooley on 2021-10-25

The Best of Me

• Length: 13 hrs and 8 mins
• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 108
• Performance 5 out of 5 stars 94
• Story 5 out of 5 stars 93

For more than 25 years, David Sedaris has been carving out a unique literary space, virtually creating his own genre. A Sedaris story may seem confessional, but is also highly attuned to the world outside. It opens our eyes to what is at absurd and moving about our daily existence. And it is almost impossible to listen without laughing.

• By Q on 2022-06-13

Lafayette in the Somewhat United States

Written by: Sarah Vowell

• Narrated by: Sarah Vowell, John Slattery, Nick Offerman, and others
• Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 23
• Performance 4.5 out of 5 stars 20
• Story 4.5 out of 5 stars 20

From the best-selling author of Assassination Vacation and Unfamiliar Fishes , a humorous account of the Revolutionary War hero Marquis de Lafayette - the one Frenchman we could all agree on - and an insightful portrait of a nation's idealism and its reality. Lafayette in the Somewhat United States is a humorous and insightful portrait of the famed Frenchman, the impact he had on our young country, and his ongoing relationship with instrumental Americans of the time.

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This collection of sharply observed animal-themed tales is a delight, told with David Sedaris's trademark blend of hilarity and goodnaturedness. Though the characters may not be human, the situations in these stories bear an uncanny resemblance to the insanity of our own everyday interactions.

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David Sedaris's beloved holiday collection is new again with six more pieces, including a never before published story. Along with such favorites as the diaries of a Macy's elf and the annals of two very competitive families, are Sedaris's tales of tardy trick-or-treaters ("Us and Them"); the difficulties of explaining the Easter Bunny to the French ("Jesus Shaves"); and what to do when you've been locked out in a snowstorm ("Let It Snow").

A Christmas Tradition

• By Ryan on 2019-12-20

David Sedaris Live at Carnegie Hall

• Length: 1 hr and 13 mins
• Original Recording
• Overall 5 out of 5 stars 21
• Performance 5 out of 5 stars 18
• Story 5 out of 5 stars 18

If you are driving, pull over. If you are at work, close your door, unless you don't mind your colleagues seeing you doubled over, in tears, on your office floor. With this recording, taped before a delirious sold out audience at Carnegie Hall, you are there as David Sedaris performs new stories from his upcoming book. A parrot who mimics an ice maker, lovers quarreling over a rubber hand, and a Santa Claus who moonlights from his job as bishop of Turkey, the cast of characters is like no other.

Love! Love! Love! 👌

• By Anonymous User on 2019-07-15

• Written by: David Sedaris, Georg Deggerich - Übersetzer
• Narrated by: Devid Striesow
• Length: 4 hrs and 42 mins
• Overall 2 out of 5 stars 2
• Performance 1.5 out of 5 stars 2
• Story 3 out of 5 stars 2

Den betörend geheimnisvollen Namen "Calypso" teilen sich unter anderem eine griechische Meeresnymphe, ein afrikanisch-karibischer Tanzrhythmus und ein Saturnmond. Fragt man David Sedaris, ist Calypso ein besonders bescheuerter Name für eine Katze. Aber auch ein betörend geheimnisvoller Titel für die lang erwartete neue Geschichtensammlung eines der erfolgreichsten Humoristen unserer Zeit, der es wie kein anderer versteht, zarte Schönheit im Hässlichen zu entdecken und die banale Komik des schönen Scheins zu entlarven.

• 3 out of 5 stars
• By nicole on 2021-11-05

Written by: David Sedaris , and others

• Length: 3 hrs and 10 mins
• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 7
• Performance 4 out of 5 stars 4
• Story 4 out of 5 stars 4

Holidays on Ice collects six of David Sedaris' most profound Christmas stories into one slender volume perfect for use as a last minute coaster or ice scraper. This drinking man's companion can be enjoyed by the warmth of a raging fire, the glow of a brilliantly decorated tree, or even in the back seat of a van or police car.

Not Sedaris's Best

• By Adam Drew on 2019-12-27
• Abridged Audiobook
• Categories: Biographies & Memoirs

What the critics say

"At his best, he makes you laugh out loud, which indeed may be worth the price of admission." ( The New York Times )

What listeners say about Me Talk Pretty One Day

• 4.5 out of 5 stars 4.6 out of 5
• 5 Stars 158
• 5 out of 5 stars 4.8 out of 5
• 5 Stars 161
• 5 Stars 139

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Audible.ca reviews, amazon reviews.

• Overall 5 out of 5 stars
• Performance 5 out of 5 stars
• Story 5 out of 5 stars

• Danielle DeSorcy

I laughed out loud throughout! Highly recommended for a pick me up! Will listen again and again.

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Love David sederis

He is funny, insightful and the best narrator reading his books. I have them all in paperback and audio to listen to in the car

• Overall 4 out of 5 stars
• Story 4 out of 5 stars

• Anonymous User

Worth the listen

I chose this as the last book selection of the year for my Books & Beer book club and it was to mixed reviews. At the risk of being sexist, most of the members that attended this month were female and I believe, for the most part, David Sedaris' type of humor might be a little more well received by those of us toting around a Y chromosome. That being said, I LOVED it! I was having a difficult time getting my hands on a copy (I tend to borrow or buy used copies of most books) so I ended up first listening to the audio book. In my opinion, that was the best way to introduce yourself to Sedaris. Dry, almost-monotone, lisp-peppered... his delivery, if you are not familiar with him, brings his essays to life. I also read the digital version but I found I missed Sedaris' narration. On a bad note: the audio book only appears to come in an abridged version so six of the essays were cut (65 pages or so) from the final product. None of them were among my favorites but I don't do abridged. Notable essays: Go Carolina, Today's Special, See You Again Yesterday, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Make That a Double, I Pledge Allegiance to the Bag, and Picka Pocketoni. As a French-as-a-second-language person myself, I loved, and could relate to, every inane French grammar rule Yes, vagina SHOULD be a feminine noun, not a masculine noun. MA VAGINE, not mon vagin! I tried to start a rebellion to have all females retake ownership of their vaginas (but the masculine modifier still prevails.) Favourite quote (only because puns are my guilty form of pleasure): David Sedaris on audiobooks: If a person who constantly reads is a bookworm, then I was quickly becoming a tapeworm.

3 people found this helpful

• Amazon Customer

I don’t laugh out loud: except to David

I listened on my walks to work on some crazy frigid Canadian days this winter . I actually found myself sad to arrive; every chapter was wonderfully clever and often deeply messed up. Sidaris is comic genious and very little makes me laugh these days!

A must listen

David Sedaris is a master storyteller with a thesaurus vocabulary and great comedic timing. Can I please have him narrate my life!

A Mother and her stoned, gay son...

It went by so quickly! Hillarious storyteller with the underpinnings of family, identity and struggle.

• Overall 1 out of 5 stars
• Performance 2 out of 5 stars
• Story 2 out of 5 stars

• Carla M Positano

Like an uncle who thinks he's funny - but isn't

This is the second title I've tried to read by David Sedaris. I was hopeful, but couldn't get through it. I caught a couple of chuckles but after getting through half the book decided my odds of this book getting any better were not good. If you want to laugh out loud read Seth Rogens Year Book.

• Performance 1 out of 5 stars
• Story 1 out of 5 stars

Not for me.

Whiny and snarky. There must be plenty of people who are entertained by this guy. I gather he's quite popular. I made it through five chapters, well almost. But I kept asking myself why I was spending any time at all in the company of such an unpleasant person and decided to cut my losses. Your mileage might vary.

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Me Talk Pretty One Day Audible Audiobook – Abridged

• Part of a series Me Talk Pretty One Day
• Listening Length 5 hours and 51 minutes
• Author David Sedaris
• Narrator David Sedaris
• Audible release date June 30 2000
• Language English
• Publisher Hachette Audio
• ASIN B071W9TK5J
• Version Abridged
• Program Type Audiobook
• See all details

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Me Talk Pretty One Day

Author: David Sedaris

Narrator: David Sedaris

Unabridged: 5 hr 51 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Publisher: Little, Brown & Company

Published: 04/01/2006

Category: Humor - Form - Essays

Me Talk Pretty One Day

By: David Sedaris

• Narrated by: David Sedaris
• Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
• 4.5 out of 5 stars 4.5 (147 ratings)

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Happy-Go-Lucky

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Back when restaurant menus were still printed on paper, and wearing a mask—or not—was a decision made mostly on Halloween, David Sedaris spent his time doing normal things. As Happy-Go-Lucky opens, he is learning to shoot guns with his sister, visiting muddy flea markets in Serbia, buying gummy worms to feed to ants, and telling his nonagenarian father wheelchair jokes. But then the pandemic hits, and like so many others, he's stuck in lockdown, unable to tour and read for audiences, the part of his work he loves most.

• 3 out of 5 stars

Too many repeats of stories in other collections

• By Tania on 08-10-22

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In David Sedaris' world, no one is safe and no cow is sacred. A manic cross between Mark Leyner, Fran Lebowitz, and the National Enquirer , Sedaris' collection of essays is a rollicking tour through the national Zeitgeist: a do-it-yourself suburban dad saves money by performing home surgery; a man who is loved too much flees the heavyweight champion of the world; a teenage suicide tries to incite a lynch mob at her funeral; a bitter Santa abuses the elves.

• 4 out of 5 stars

Strange, bittersweet, funny.

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Atomic Habits

• Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results

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A revolutionary system to get one per cent better every day. People think when you want to change your life, you need to think big. But world-renowned habits expert James Clear has discovered another way. He knows that real change comes from the compound effect of hundreds of small decisions – doing two push-ups a day, waking up five minutes early, or holding a single short phone call. He calls them atomic habits.

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Probably one of the most useful books I have read

• By lynn madeley on 05-25-19

David Sedaris Live at Carnegie Hall

• Length: 1 hr and 13 mins
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If you are driving, pull over. If you are at work, close your door, unless you don't mind your colleagues seeing you doubled over, in tears, on your office floor. With this recording, taped before a delirious sold out audience at Carnegie Hall, you are there as David Sedaris performs new stories from his upcoming book. A parrot who mimics an ice maker, lovers quarrelling over a rubber hand, and a Santa Claus who moonlights from his job as bishop of Turkey, the cast of characters is like no other.

Laugh. Out. Loud. And then wipe the tears away...

• By Ashley Kanes on 01-20-15

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Dismissed by a bored author at a book signing, a betrayed young man named David Sedaris made a vow. Someday, when it was his turn at the table, he’d connect with his readers. The experience has been even more revealing than he’d hoped.In this hilarious and perceptive essay, the celebrated humorist reflects on the unusual patterns of forced socialization between author and audience, and the obligations and sometimes surprising returns of not-so-chance encounters with strangers: jokes, secrets, insights, and even charity.

It’s true!

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What could be a more tempting Christmas gift than a compendium of David Sedaris' best stories, selected by the author himself? From a spectacular career spanning almost three decades, these stories have become modern classics and are now for the first time collected in one volume. The collection will also feature an introduction by the author; two never-before-collected stories, 'Unbuttoned' and 'Undecided'; and a new interview with David Sedaris.

Highly enjoyable with an excellent bonus interview

• By NattyB on 08-27-24

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Welcome to the hilarious, strange, elegiac, outrageous world of David Sedaris. In Naked , Sedaris turns the current mania for the memoir on its proverbial ear, mining the exceedingly rich terrain of his life, his family, and his unique worldview, a sensibility at once take-no-prisoners sharp and deeply charitable.

the best time ever spent

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Colombo, 1990. Maali Almeida, war photographer, gambler and closet queen, has woken up dead in what seems like a celestial visa office. His dismembered body is sinking in the Beira Lake and he has no idea who killed him. At a time when scores are settled by death squads, suicide bombers and hired goons, the list of suspects is depressingly long, as the ghouls and ghosts who cluster around him can attest. But even in the afterlife, time is running out for Maali.

The story is wonderful.

• By Nevena Hristozova on 04-05-24

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• Story 4.5 out of 5 stars 89

A guy walks into a bar.From here, the story could take many turns. A guy walks into a bar and meets the love of his life. A guy walks into a bar and finds no one else is there. When this guy is David Sedaris, the possibilities are endless, but the result is always the same: he will both delight you with twists of humour and intelligence and leave you deeply moved. In Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls, Sedaris remembers his father's dinnertime attire (shirtsleeves and underpants), his first colonoscopy (remarkably pleasant), and the time he considered buying the skeleton of a murdered Pygmy.

• 2 out of 5 stars

Not a fan I’m afraid

• By Matthew on 09-20-13

When You Are Engulfed in Flames

• Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 204
• Performance 4.5 out of 5 stars 133
• Story 4.5 out of 5 stars 133

Taking in the parasitic worm that once lived in his mother-in-law's leg, an encounter with a dingo and the purchase of a human skeleton, and culminating in a brilliant account of his attempt to quit smoking - in Tokyo - David Sedaris' sixth story collection is a fresh masterpiece of comic writing.

Great Listen

• By Lynne on 03-02-10

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• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,196
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Stephen Fry is so, so good

• By Matthew on 01-08-14

Demon Copperhead

By: Barbara Kingsolver

• Narrated by: Charlie Thurston
• Length: 21 hrs and 3 mins
• Overall 4.5 out of 5 stars 158
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Best Kingsolver book by far

• By Wayne Phillips on 11-09-22

Publisher's summary

• Abridged Audiobook
• Categories: Biographies & Memoirs

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"At his best, he makes you laugh out loud, which indeed may be worth the price of admission." ( The New York Times )

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What listeners say about Me Talk Pretty One Day

• 4.5 out of 5 stars 4.5 out of 5.0
• 4.5 out of 5 stars 4.7 out of 5.0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Audible.com reviews, amazon reviews.

• Overall 5 out of 5 stars
• Performance 5 out of 5 stars
• Story 5 out of 5 stars

Where does Me Talk Pretty One Day rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

How does a guy get so funny. Loved every word of this book. Definitely my best so far.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Me Talk Pretty One Day?

Too many to list

What about David Sedaris’s performance did you like?

Everything. The writing, his delivery, his self-deprecation (so refreshing compared to so many people these days), his pathos, his empathy. He is just a great writer across the board.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

His writing about learning French in Paris. That was not only funny but helpful for me because I'm a language teacher and it really helped me to empathise more with my students.

Any additional comments?

I just hope my next audio book will be even half as good as this one.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

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• Amazon Customer

His sense of humour

I enjoyed listening to him. David reading it made it a whole lot more authentic. I found it quite surprising how well articulated his words were; those random intrusive thoughts that often cross most of our minds but David penned them down capturing their essence in its raw form. It’s a good listen.

• Story 4 out of 5 stars

• Elena Claydon

Fantastic narration and very very funny. Very easy to listen to and giggle along with the anecdotes.

Still hilarious twenty years later!

David Sedaris' food-hoarding father sounds exactly like my Chinese parents who did not live through abject poverty! Loved hearing about his years living as the American village idiot also in Normandy, France. Very relatable with my broken French in spite of twenty years of on-and-off French classes!!

I am a huge recent fan of David Sedaris, and this book didn't disappoint. My whole family was listening to it on a long drive. At one point I thought my husband was going to run off the road he was laughing so hard. I was weeping with laughter, so couldn't even take over the driving. David Sedaris has the best delivery, and the best self-deprecating humour that comes through even when the subject matter is less hilarious than piquant. We'll listen to it more than once.

1 person found this helpful

I thought I would be annoyed.

I thought David's voice would irritate me but no - he is a brilliant reader. His stories are a "slice of life" about growing up in his large family, surviving the education system and bulls****ing his way through various careers, while keeping a firm grasp on his sense of humour. The only irritating bit was the section where he was reading to an audience and we have to hear their laughter - fortunately this is short. I loved the chapter on the family's succession of ill fated pets. The book is well worth listening to.

3 people found this helpful

• Overall 4 out of 5 stars
• Performance 4 out of 5 stars

Would you listen to Me Talk Pretty One Day again? Why?

David Sedaris' short stories are hilarious, and spoken with his dry wit only adds to the overall experience.

It was wonderful to listen to the live segments and hear others appreciate the humour too.

Funny and relatable

I am a fan of David Sedaris, amd the books. This book was the first of his books I have read, which got me hooked on the humour genre. It is better when I listen to it.

• Overall 1 out of 5 stars
• Performance 1 out of 5 stars
• Story 1 out of 5 stars

• emmanuel panaretos

Disappointing.

I bought this based on the reviews but it didn't resonate with me. Not funny!

No laughs here

Not funny. The author details the adversity he faced growing up as a young homosexual. Not a comedy at all. Very sad at times. Was not expecting an autobiography.

2 people found this helpful

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Me Talk Pretty One Day

by David Sedaris

Read by David Sedaris

Regular Price $35.00

Regular Price $44.00 CAD

Also Available From:

Apr 26, 2022

9781668613894

Nonfiction / Humor / Form / Essays

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Me Talk Pretty One Day

At the age of forty-one, I am returning to school and having to think of myself as what my French textbook calls "a true debutant." After paying my tuition, I was issued a student ID, which allows me a discounted entry fee at movie theaters, puppet shows, and Festyland, a far-flung amusement park that advertises with billboards picturing a cartoon stegosaurus sitting in a canoe and eating what appears to be a ham sandwich.

I've moved to Paris in order to learn the language. My school is the Alliance Française, and on the first day of class, I arrived early, watching as the returning students greeted one another in the school lobby. Vacations were recounted, and questions were raised concerning mutual friends with names like Kang and Vlatnya. Regardless of their nationalities, everyone spoke what sounded to me like excellent French. Some accents were better than others, but the students exhibited an ease and confidence I found intimidating. As an added discomfort, they were all young, attractive, and well dressed, causing me to feel not unlike Pa Kettle trapped backstage after a fashion show.

I remind myself that I am now a full-grown man. No one will ever again card me for a drink or demand that I weave a floor mat out of newspapers. At my age, a reasonable person should have completed his sentence in the prison of the nervous and the insecure--isn't that the great promise of adulthood? I can't help but think that, somewhere along the way, I made a wrong turn. My fears have not vanished. Rather, they have seasoned and multiplied with age. I am now twice as frightened as I was when, at the age of twenty, I allowed a failed nursing student to inject me with a horse tranquilizer, and eight times more anxious than I was the day my kindergarten teacher pried my fingers off my mother's ankle and led me screaming toward my desk. "You'll get used to it," the woman had said.

I'm still waiting.

The first day of class was nerve-racking, because I knew I'd be expected to perform. That's the way they do it here--everyone into the language pool, sink or swim. The teacher marched in, deeply tanned from a recent vacation, and rattled off a series of administrative announcements. I've spent some time in Normandy, and I took a monthlong French class last summer in New York. I'm not completely in the dark, yet I understood only half of what this teacher was saying.

"If you have not meismslsxp by this time, you should not be in this room. Has everybody apzkiubjxow ? Everyone? Good, we shall proceed." She spread out her lesson plan and sighed, saying, "All right, then, who knows the alphabet?"

It was startling, because a) I hadn't been asked that question in a while, and b) I realized, while laughing, that I myself did not know the alphabet. They're the same letters, but they're pronounced differently.

"Ahh." The teacher went to the board and sketched the letter a. "Do we have anyone in the room whose first name commences with an ahh?"

Two Polish Annas raised their hands, and the teacher instructed them to present themselves, giving their names, nationalities, occupations, and a list of things they liked and disliked in this world. The first Anna hailed from an industrial town outside of Warsaw and had front teeth the size of tombstones. She worked as a seamstress, enjoyed quiet times with friends, and hated the mosquito.

"Oh, really," the teacher said. "How very interesting. I thought that everyone loved the mosquito, but here, in front of all the world, you claim to detest him. How is it that we've been blessed with someone as unique and original as you? Tell us, please."

The seamstress did not understand what was being said, but she knew that this was an occasion for shame. Her rabbity mouth huffed for breath, and she stared down at her lap as though the appropriate comeback were stitched somewhere alongside the zipper of her slacks.

The second Anna learned from the first and claimed to love sunshine and detest lies. It sounded like a translation of one of those Playmate of the Month data sheets, the answers always written in the same loopy handwriting: "Turn-ons: Mom's famous five-alarm chili! Turnoffs: Insincerity and guys who come on too strong!!!"

The two Polish women surely had clear notions of what they liked and disliked, but, like the rest of us, they were limited in terms of vocabulary, and this made them appear less than sophisticated. The teacher forged on, and we learned that Carlos, the Argentine bandonion player, loved wine, music, and, in his words, "Making sex with the women of the world." Next came a beautiful young Yugoslavian who identified herself as an optimist, saying that she loved everything life had to offer.

The teacher licked her lips, revealing a hint of the sadist we would later come to know. She crouched low for her attack, placed her hands on the young woman's desk, and said, "Oh, yeah? And do you love your little war?"

While the optimist struggled to defend herself, I scrambled to think of an answer to what had obviously become a trick question. How often are you asked what you love in this world? More important, how often are you asked and then publicly ridiculed for your answer? I recalled my mother, flushed with wine, pounding the table late one night, saying, "Love? I love a good steak cooked rare. I love my cat, and I love . . ." My sisters and I leaned forward, waiting to hear our names. "Tums," our mother said. "I love Tums."

The teacher killed some time accusing the Yugoslavian girl of masterminding a program of genocide, and I jotted frantic notes in the margins of my pad. While I can honestly say that I love leafing through medical textbooks devoted to severe dermatological conditions, it is beyond the reach of my French vocabulary, and acting it out would only have invited unwanted attention.

When called upon, I delivered an effortless list of things I detest: blood sausage, intestinal pâté, brain pudding. I'd learned these words the hard way. Having given it some thought, I then declared my love for IBM typewriters, the French word for "bruise," and my electric floor waxer. It was a short list, but still I managed to mispronounce IBM and afford the wrong gender to both the floor waxer and the typewriter. Her reaction led me to believe that these mistakes were capital crimes in the country of France.

"Were you always this palicmkrexjs ?" she asked. "Even a fiuscrzsws tociwegixp knows that a typewriter is feminine."

I absorbed as much of her abuse as I could understand, thinking, but not saying, that I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself. Why refer to Lady Flesh Wound or Good Sir Dishrag when these things could never deliver in the sack?

The teacher proceeded to belittle everyone from German Eva, who hated laziness, to Japanese Yukari, who loved paintbrushes and soap. Italian, Thai, Dutch, Korean, Chinese--we all left class foolishly believing that the worst was over. We didn't know it then, but the coming months would teach us what it is like to spend time in the presence of a wild animal. We soon learned to dodge chalk and to cover our heads and stomachs whenever she approached us with a question. She hadn't yet punched anyone, but it seemed wise to prepare ourselves against the inevitable.

Though we were forbidden to speak anything but French, the teacher would occasionally use us to practice any of her five fluent languages.

"I hate you," she said to me one afternoon. Her English was flawless. "I really, really hate you." Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help taking it personally.

Learning French is a lot like joining a gang in that it involves a long and intensive period of hazing. And it wasn't just my teacher; the entire population seemed to be in on it. Following brutal encounters with my local butcher and the concierge of my building, I'd head off to class, where the teacher would hold my corrected paperwork high above her head, shouting, "Here's proof that David is an ignorant and uninspired ensigiejsokhjx ."

Refusing to stand convicted on the teacher's charges of laziness, I'd spend four hours a night on my homework, working even longer whenever we were assigned an essay. I suppose I could have gotten by with less, but I was determined to create some sort of an identity for myself. We'd have one of those "complete the sentence" exercises, and I'd fool with the thing for hours, invariably settling on something like, "A quick run around the lake? I'd love to. Just give me a minute to strap on my wooden leg." The teacher, through word and action, conveyed the message that, if this was my idea of an identity, she wanted nothing to do with it.

My fear and discomfort crept beyond the borders of my classroom and accompanied me out onto the wide boulevards, where, no matter how hard I tried, there was no escaping the feeling of terror I felt whenever anyone asked me a question. I was safe in any kind of a store, as, at least in my neighborhood, one can stand beside the cash register for hours on end without being asked something so trivial as, "May I help you?" or "How would you like to pay for that?"

My only comfort was the knowledge that I was not alone. Huddled in the smoky hallways and making the most of our pathetic French, my fellow students and I engaged in the sort of conversation commonly overheard in refugee camps.

"Sometimes me cry alone at night."

"That is common for me also, but be more strong, you. Much work, and someday you talk pretty. People stop hate you soon. Maybe tomorrow, okay?"

Unlike other classes I have taken, here there was no sense of competition. When the teacher poked a shy Korean woman in the eyelid with a freshly sharpened pencil, we took no comfort in the fact that, unlike Hyeyoon Cho, we all knew the irregular past tense of the verb "to defeat." In all fairness, the teacher hadn't meant to hurt the woman, but neither did she spend much time apologizing, saying only, "Well, you should have been paying more attention."

Over time, it became impossible to believe that any of us would ever improve. Fall arrived, and it rained every day. It was mid-October when the teacher singled me out, saying, "Every day spent with you is like having a cesarean section." And it struck me that, for the first time since arriving in France, I could understand every word that someone was saying.

Understanding doesn't mean that you can suddenly speak the language. Far from it. It's a small step, nothing more, yet its rewards are intoxicating and deceptive. The teacher continued her diatribe, and I settled back, bathing in the subtle beauty of each new curse and insult.

"You exhaust me with your foolishness and reward my efforts with nothing but pain, do you understand me?"

The world opened up, and it was with great joy that I responded, "I know the thing what you speak exact now. Talk me more, plus, please, plus."

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Me Talk Pretty One Day

David sedaris.

Ask LitCharts AI: The answer to your questions

Me Talk Pretty One Day is a collection of essays about the everyday life of the author, David Sedaris . The book’s first essays detail his upbringing in North Carolina. As a child, he lives with his father , mother , and sisters. The opening essay recounts the time he’s forced to see a speech therapist in the fifth grade. Every Thursday, Miss Samson (the therapist) takes him out of class and brings him to her office, where she tries to train him to banish the lisp he has when saying the letter s . Sedaris hates this, partially because he’s one of the few boys in school who needs speech therapy. This, he believes, aligns him with a group of children who are unpopular, and he senses that the teachers might as well refer to them as the “future homosexuals of America.” Thinking this way, he wonders if his teachers are also capable of identifying the future alcoholics or “depressives” in their classrooms. Defying Miss Samson, he starts avoiding all s -words, using elaborate synonyms. A strict woman, Miss Samson dislikes this, but nothing she does gets Sedaris to stop. At the end of the year, she opens up to him and speaks emotionally about her failure as a speech therapist and about her depressing life. Seeing this, Sedaris tells her that he’s sorry, and she starts laughing, triumphantly informing him that she tricked him into using an s .

At another point in his childhood—as outlined in “Giant Dreams, Midget Abilities”—Sedaris goes with his family to a jazz concert. His father, Lou, is obsessed with jazz, always forcing him and his sisters to listen to his record collection. In another life, Sedaris thinks, his father would have made a good musician. Because he never pursued this dream, though, he decides after the jazz concert that Sedaris and his sisters should start a family band. None of them are interested, but Lou signs them up for lessons. Forced to learn the guitar, Sedaris finds himself sitting in a small room with an instructor named Mr. Mancini . Mr. Mancini is a little person, though Sedaris refers to him using the pejorative, politically incorrect term “midget.” Sedaris makes no effort to learn guitar, finding himself more fascinated by Mr. Mancini than by the instrument. When Mr. Mancini advises him to give his guitar a name, he decides on Oliver, but Mancini says it has to be a woman’s name. Eventually, he decides to show Mr. Mancini a routine he has developed on his own, which involves singing commercial jingles he’s heard on TV. In response, Mr. Mancini thinks Sedaris is coming on to him and asks him to leave, saying he doesn’t “swing that way.” After this, Sedaris tells his father that Mr. Mancini said his fingers are too small to play guitar, and he never returns for another lesson.

Sedaris’s relationship with his father is a thread that runs throughout Me Talk Pretty One Day , as Sedaris outlines his father’s idiosyncrasies in essays like “Genetic Engineering,” in which he describes his father’s obsession with mathematics and technology. As an engineer at IBM, his father often speaks at length about the future of computers or about other topics that bore Sedaris. He even pursues these conversations with Sedaris when they’re on vacation in a beach town, where his lecture about how estimating the number of grains of sand in the world attracts nearby fishermen who ironically ask him to calculate the cost of land they had to give up when rich families came to the beach town and turned it into a vacation destination. Failing to register their facetious tone, Lou diligently sets to work trying to answer the question.

Later, Sedaris goes to college and decides to be an art major because he wants to be as artistically talented as his older sister Gretchen . However, he shows little talent, so he transfers to another school and tries a different discipline within the arts. When this doesn’t prove successful, he drops out and moves into an apartment in Raleigh, where he develops a taste for meth and conceptual art. Falling in with a group of experimental artists, he scoffs at art that isn’t avant-garde, claiming to be anti-establishment when, in reality, he and his friends are mostly interested in taking drugs and making things that even they don’t understand. Surprisingly, his work is accepted by a local museum, but this embarrasses him because his friends resent his success, claiming he sold out. As time passes, he develops an interest in bizarre performance art. During one of his final shows, an audience member heckles him, poking fun at the loftiness of his absurd display. Sedaris realizes the voice belongs to his father. By the end of the show, everyone thinks his father is part of the performance, and they compliment him on his wit. This frustrates Sedaris, and when he later runs out of drugs because his dealer goes to rehab, he gives up performance art.

Lou Sedaris has unique relationships with his children, always holding them to high standards and getting disappointed when they show no interest in the things he values. In “You Can’t Kill The Rooster,” Sedaris describes the beautiful relationship his father has with Sedaris’s youngest brother, who calls himself The Rooster . Lou has high hopes for The Rooster because none of his other children have fulfilled his dreams. The Rooster, however, has no intention of following his father’s plans, and his personality is in direct opposition to Lou’s. And yet, this doesn’t bother Lou; when The Rooster calls his father “bitch,” for instance, the old man simply smiles. Observing this relationship, Sedaris and his sisters are baffled that the two men get along so well, but Sedaris recognizes a tenderness running between them—a tenderness that transcends the fact that The Rooster doesn’t live the life Lou originally wanted for him.

In terms of accomplishments, Sedaris interrogates his own working life in “Learning Curve,” in which he’s hired as a writing professor despite his lack of experience. At first, he focuses on nothing but what he’ll wear, but he soon realizes that he also needs to think about how to fill up class time, so he starts watching soap operas with the students under the pretense that this will help them learn to write. When an older student furiously asks why he’s qualified to critique one of her essays, he finds himself at a loss for words. After a moment, though, he realizes what he needs to say: “I am the only one who is paid to be in this room.” This seems to work, but then the student asks how much he earns, and when he answers, the students unite with each other for the first time all semester, loudly laughing in unison.

Later in life, Sedaris moves to New York City and lives in a small apartment. He strolls through the city in the evenings and peers into the windows of townhouses, wishing he could live in such beautiful buildings. When he gets hired as a personal assistant to a rich woman named Valencia , he’s delighted that he can spend several days a week in her house, but the job soon gets old because Valencia annoys him by pretending to be poor. She haggles over prices and tries to underpay people who need the money more than she does. In keeping with this, Sedaris’s wage is much less than it should be, but he puts up with her because he doesn’t feel like finding a new job. When a group of movers comes to move some furniture from her townhouse to a friend’s apartment, though, they offer Sedaris a job, and he accepts it. Riding away with them in their truck, he realizes that this is where he belongs—in a crowded vehicle with kind people, not in a beautiful townhouse with meanspirited rich people.

While living in New York City, Sedaris meets Hugh , a man who lives in a nice apartment and owns a small house in Normandy, France. This intrigues Sedaris, who starts dating him and eventually visits France for the first time without knowing the language. On that first visit—outlined in “See You Again Yesterday”—he only knows how to say “bottleneck,” and he says it whenever he meets somebody. The next time, though, he tries to acquire a few more words, and his process continues on each subsequent visit. At this point in the essay collection, Sedaris devotes himself to chronicling what it’s like to live in France as an American, especially when he and Hugh move to Paris for several years. During this time, he struggles to learn French under the tutelage of a frightening and rude teacher, walks around the city listening to a French audiobook for medical doctors trying to learn clinical phrases, considers the way French people view Americans, and tries unsuccessfully to remember which French words are masculine and which are feminine—a practice he finds frustrating and ridiculous. Sedaris pays close attention to the various assumptions and stereotypes that come along with national identity, especially in “Picka Pocketoni,” in which an American couple riding the metro in Paris mistakes Sedaris for a French pickpocket and says rude things about him because they assume he can’t speak English. This makes Sedaris hate them, though he also recognizes that part of his anger has to do with his own pretentiousness. This realization only makes him hate them even more.

In addition to examining cultural identity, Sedaris thinks about the ways in which intelligence impacts his sense of self. In the essays “21 Down” and “Smart Guy,” he reveals his fear that he’s unintelligent, making it clear that he wants to be seen as a genius who can easily complete crossword puzzles and has a high IQ. Unfortunately for him, though, he isn’t particularly gifted at crossword puzzles, and when he and Hugh take an IQ test, he discovers that he’s “practically an idiot.” Hugh, on the other hand, has an incredibly high IQ, a fact that makes Sedaris feel even worse about himself. Trying to console him, Hugh tells him not to take his score to heart, adding that Sedaris is perfectly good at a number of things, including vacuuming and naming stuffed animals. There might be other things Sedaris is good at, Hugh offers, saying that he needs time to think of what, exactly, these things are.

All in all, Me Talk Pretty One Day sheds light on the little details of everyday life, highlighting strange encounters Sedaris has had in a number of different contexts. Accordingly, there are too many small interactions laid out in the book to mention here. What’s important to grasp, though, is that Sedaris is interested in exposing not only the absurdities that people overlook in daily life, but also the humor that can be found in even the most mundane situations. To drive this point home, he ends the collection with a story about his father’s approach to storing food. This topic might not sound all that interesting, but Sedaris manages to emphasize the humor of his father’s strange behavior. When Lou visits him in Paris, he explains that he found a small brown object in his suitcase and tried to eat it. This is because Lou never wastes food and has no problem eating things that look spoiled. Placing the object in his mouth, he chewed it for five minutes before realizing it was a disintegrated piece of his hat. Hearing this, Sedaris knows his father will now store the hat with the rest of his rotting food, saving it for a time when he has nothing else to eat. And instead of criticizing Lou for this, Sedaris simply appreciates the humor inherent in his beloved father’s odd behavior.

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Me Talk Pretty One Day

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This is my absolute favorite! I love hearing him narrate it even more. So grateful for David Sedaris.

Mr. Sedaris has an amazing easy satirical style which is a joy to read or listen to . . .

Typically fun book from Sedaris!

Sedaris is great. Helped our road trip greatly. Loved it like I love all his stuff.

Filled me with giggles! Light & deep at the same time.

He's very entertaining and his stories (real or embellished) are always unique. His telling of tales, in his voice, is also unique. Especially love the stories of his family. What a group.

Sedaris is enjoyable, easy to listen to, and great storyteller. His essays are quick, funny, and worth your time.

Me Talk Pretty One Day...

David sedaris.

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Me Talk Pretty One Day Audio CD

• Language English
• Dimensions 4.88 x 0.91 x 5.67 inches
• ISBN-10 1405500387
• ISBN-13 978-1405500388
• See all details

Product details

• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1405500387
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1405500388
• Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 7.2 ounces
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 4.88 x 0.91 x 5.67 inches

About the author

David sedaris.

David Sedaris lives in Paris. Raised in North Carolina, he has worked as a housecleaner and most famously, as a part-time elf for Macy's. Several of his plays have been produced, and he is a regular contributor to ESQUIRE and Public Radio International's 'This American Life'.

Customer reviews

• 5 star 4 star 3 star 2 star 1 star 5 star 56% 25% 12% 4% 3% 56%
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• 5 star 4 star 3 star 2 star 1 star 1 star 56% 25% 12% 4% 3% 3%

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Customers say

Customers find the humor in the book funny and entertaining. They describe the book as easy to read in short intervals. Readers also find the stories compelling and interesting. They find the insights insightful, thought-provoking, and great about self-discovery. Reader also praise the author as great and special. They say the book is delightful and engaging.

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Customers find the book funny, witty, and entertaining. They say it's absurd and the author has an impeccable sense of comedic timing. Readers also mention the writing is entertaining.

"...of his short stories which was initially confusing but I found a number of them hilarious ...." Read more

"Sad, funny , informative, educational, entertaining,easy to recommend." Read more

"...story in a comedic fashion didn't seem as childish to me, but rather clever and witty compared to the first half...." Read more

"...I won't compare them. I like them both. This book provided more laughs than I thought it would...." Read more

Customers find the book easy to read in short intervals, well-written, and light. They say it's conversational and easy to comprehend. Readers also mention the author is amazingly truthful and an easy book to pick up for a few minutes.

"Sad, funny, informative, educational, entertaining, easy to recommend ." Read more

"The stories are ok, but I found a lot of this book to be rambling. A quick read , though. Goes down easy." Read more

"...Each chapter can be a story unto itself, so its an easy book to pick up for a few minutes and put down again when you get busy...." Read more

"...Would I recommend it? Of course, I would. It is well written , and since I had the audible version, I had the additional delight of having the author..." Read more

Customers find the stories compelling, interesting, and funny. They say the author perfectly balances telling a story and personal reflection. Readers also mention the book is entertaining and touching.

"...grief giving. On the whole, the author’s childhood memories were quite entertaining although I bought the book for his cross cultural..." Read more

"...Some of the stories were compelling and interesting while others seemed to fall flat and I questioned what was the point of these stories...." Read more

"...But these stories were enjoyable , with not that many cringe-worthy stories...." Read more

"...Some of the stories were not so good or two or three I had trouble getting through them. But I made it through, so not so bad...." Read more

Customers find the book insightful, thought-provoking, and interesting. They say it opens up possibilities and is a great book about self-discovery. Readers also appreciate the author's sense of humor and perception of things. They mention the book is episodic, topical, and smart.

"...His insights into the French was entertaining and insightful although not as well developed as Sixty Million Frenchmen Can’t be Wrong: Why We Love..." Read more

"Sad, funny, informative , educational, entertaining,easy to recommend." Read more

"...I found this book to be amusing, funny and insightful . Fans of David Sedaris should check this autobiographic book out for themselves...." Read more

"...It opens up words of possibilities , pun intended, there is a writer in the making here...." Read more

Customers find the writer interesting, complex, and hilarious. They appreciate the truly special talent and unique voice. Readers also mention the author is incredible and refreshing.

"...to be found in life's situations is refreshing, as his skilled authorship qualities ...." Read more

"Funny. As. Hell.This man's narrative voice is so genuine and unapologetic, I fell in love with him immediately...." Read more

"...It's really good in more ways than one. First, Sedaris is just a great writer ...." Read more

"... He's absolutely incredible ." Read more

Customers find the book delightful, fun, poignant, and engaging. They say it leaves them in good spirits when they finish a chapter. Readers also mention the book is exciting, refreshing, and has a goodness of soul that enchants.

"...take on the wonderful, wry humor to be found in life's situations is refreshing , as his skilled authorship qualities...." Read more

"...Throughout these stories, you find a sense of wonderment and joy (well, maybe not so much with the giant turd piece, but still...)" Read more

"...a way to be short, memorable chapters that were all interesting and flavorful . I really enjoyed the writing style...." Read more

"...Some of the stories are warm and engaging , some are funny, some of them made my heart ache...and then there are others that I wish he'd never written..." Read more

Customers find the style beautiful, expressive, and fleshed out. They also describe the voice as genuine and unapologetic. Readers also mention the style is easy and funny to read, and true to life.

"... Vivid and poignant, Sedaris titles it “Go Carolina.” David is a boy with a speech impediment here...." Read more

"...As. Hell.This man's narrative voice is so genuine and unapologetic , I fell in love with him immediately...." Read more

"...Sedaris' books and find "Me Talk Pretty" to be the funniest and most fleshed out ...." Read more

"...But really all of the essays are so funny, and true to life ...." Read more

Customers have mixed opinions about the emotional content of the book. Some find it heartbreaking, poignant, and thoughtful, while others find it irritating, whiny, and painful to read.

" Sad , funny, informative, educational, entertaining,easy to recommend." Read more

"...Just a lot of blah blah blah talk and not a lot of substance." Read more

"...Vivid and poignant , Sedaris titles it “Go Carolina.” David is a boy with a speech impediment here...." Read more

"...I definitely got some chuckles from this one, but it was more poignant and a less ha-ha than some others." Read more

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