once upon a time in venice movie review

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After decades of kicking ass and taking names as one of America's foremost action stars, it's somewhat easy to forget that Bruce Willis began his career as a comic actor. Before " Die Hard ," there was " Moonlighting ," where Willis, alongside Cybill Shepherd , perfected casual, barbed banter as well as his sly wit. He still employs the latter in many of his features, usually in one-liners in between shootouts, but it's rare that a film asks him to prioritize his comedic talents over his considerable action prowess.

The best thing that can be said about "Once Upon a Time in Venice," a very light action comedy from Mark and Robb Cullen , is that it allows Willis to cut loose and have fun. He plays Steve Ford, a private eye in Venice Beach who appears to mostly just skateboard, sleep around, talk shop with his recently-divorced, mildly depressed best friend Dave ( John Goodman , also cutting loose and having fun), and occasionally solve minor mysteries. The film mostly consists of two-hander scenes where Willis gets to crack wise with various character actors, and generally be a likable screen presence. It's genuinely nice to see him work in that mode.

But though Willis, Goodman, and roughly half of the large supporting cast (which includes Thomas Middleditch , Adam Goldberg , Wood Harris , and Kal Penn , just to name a few) acquit themselves well, "Once Upon a Time in Venice" largely suffers from profound laziness. Its bare bones plot isn't the issue (Willis' beloved pup has been stolen by Jason Momoa and his drug gang) since it mostly strives for an ambling, shaggy dog tone, but it has no rhythm. It awkwardly shuffles along from scene to scene while introducing various inane plot points that abruptly conclude before they're developed. There are plenty of thinly-sketched characters whom the film discards or forgets at will until they're suddenly necessary for any given scene. It's amiable and pleasant, but never exactly funny. It features a completely unnecessary, wholly smug voiceover, courtesy of Middleditch. Plus, for a 90-minute film, there's way too much padding to speak of, especially in the first "act," if you can call it that. 

The Cullens clearly wanted to tell a character-based story starring Willis as a lax private dick who acts his shoe size rather than his age, and to their mild credit, they have all the material for that kind of feature. Willis fits the part well and they pepper the film with enough incident to both keep the story afloat and allow a threaded character study. Unfortunately, the Cullens deal primarily in the superficial, which all but negates this effort. They do the bare minimum to ground Willis' character in reality without going through the effort to give him much characterization, let alone depth. They hint at some backstory (he's a disgraced cop and there's suggestion of a troubled past home life), but they mostly want to ignore the work of development and skip right over to the fun stuff. In other words, this ain't " The Long Goodbye ."

To be clear, there's nothing wrong with "Once Upon a Time in Venice" prioritizing "fun" over things like plot or character. The problem arises when the film relies on performances to carry that torch and then provides its cast nothing in the way of support. "Once Upon a Time in Venice" frequently sags underneath its own general lethargy, and not even the snarkiest John McClane can fix that. It's a shame, too, because whenever Willis and Goodman are on screen together, you can see glimpses of what "Once Upon a Time in Venice" could've been with just a little more discipline.

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Film credits.

Once Upon a Time in Venice (2017)

Bruce Willis as Steve

Jason Momoa as Spider

Thomas Middleditch

Famke Janssen

Elisabeth Röhm as Anne Phillips

Colin Kane as Phil

John Goodman

• Mark Cullen
• Robb Cullen

Cinematographer

• Matt Diezel
• Zach Staenberg
• Jeff Cardoni

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‘once upon a time in venice’: film review.

Bruce Willis plays a burned-out L.A. private eye trying to recover his stolen dog in Mark Cullen's action-comedy 'Once Upon a Time in Venice.'

By Frank Scheck

Frank Scheck

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Bruce Willis continues the “I don’t give a damn, write me a check” phase of his career with Once Upon a Time in Venice , a lame action-comedy directed by Mark Cullen, who, along with his co-screenwriting brother Robb, was previously responsible for the actor’s equal unfunny Cop Out . Playing a burned-out private eye based in Venice Beach, Willis subjects himself to various humiliations in a vain quest for laughs. These include skateboarding naked, sticking a revolver between his butt cheeks and wearing a dress and an Annie -style wig. Hilarity does not ensue.

The film seems to be going for a loose satirical vibe reminiscent of Robert Altman’s modern-day take on Philip Marlowe in The Long Goodbye . Sadly, there’s no comparison between that 1973 minor classic and this shaggy-dog tale which literally revolves around a stolen dog. And that’s the most compelling plot point.

Release date: Jun 16, 2017

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Willis plays Steve Ford, who in the opening sequence is delivering a scared-straight lecture about the dangers of hookers and blow to a group of befuddled children. He’s the sort of low-rent gumshoe whose clients include “Lou the Jew” (Adam Goldberg), a shady real-estate developer who hires him to find out who’s drawing the large-scale pornographic drawings mysteriously appearing on the apartment building he’s trying to sell. Ford also has a bumbling partner or, more accurately, sidekick in John (Thomas Middleditch , failing to bring his Silicon Valley A-game to the weak material), who narrates the proceedings in film-noir fashion.

As previously mentioned, much of the plot, at least what aspects of it can be discerned, involves Steve’s efforts to rescue his beloved dog Buddy from the clutches of Spyder (Jason Momoa ), a drug dealer who has kidnapped the pooch as a form of blackmail. Making a deal for Buddy’s return as quid pro quo for recovering Sypder’s stolen cocaine stash, Steve is joined in his not-exactly-dogged investigative efforts by his best friend Dave (John Goodman), a surf shop owner going through a nasty divorce.

Bruce Willis Confirms $5.9 Million Arbitration Win Over Aborted Film

The ramshackle storyline is basically an excuse for a series of would-be comic set pieces, none of which are particularly amusing. Willis at least seems more invested here than he has in recent projects — he’s not sleepwalking, for one thing — while Goodman appears to be having a blast and provides the film its best moments with his bemused line readings and facial expressions. He’s a prime example of the movie boasting more talent than it really deserves, with the cast also including such familiar faces as Famke Janssen, Christopher McDonald and Kal Penn, who plays a convenience store proprietor.

Trading on his well-honed action-movie persona, Willis delivers a series of tough-guy one-liners throughout. But sorry, “Never f— with a man’s dog!” just doesn’t cut it compared to “Yippee-ki-yay , motherf — er !”

Production company: Voltage Pictures Distributor: RLJ Entertainment Cast: Bruce Willis, John Goodman, Jason Momoa , Thomas Middleditch , Famke Janssen, Stephanie Sigman , Adam Goldman, Kal Penn, Christopher McDonald, Wood Harris Director: Mark Cullen Screenwriters: Mark Cullen, Robb Cullen Producers: Nicholas Chartier , Mark Cullen, Robb Cullen, Laura Ford, Zev Foreman Executive producers: Jonathan Deckter , Stephen J. Eads , Patrick Newall Director of photography: Amir Mokri Production designer: Greg G. Grande Editors: Matt Diezel , Zach Staenberg Costume designer: Rebecca Gregg Composer: Jeff Cardoni Casting: Mary Vernieu , Michelle Wade Byrd

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Film Review: ‘Once Upon a Time in Venice’

Bruce Willis barks up a number of wrong trees in this scattered, only sparsely amusing shaggy-dog mystery.

By Guy Lodge

Film Critic

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Remember “Cop Out,” 2010’s less-than-momentous clash of the action-comic stylings of Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan? If the answer is “no,” you’d be entirely forgiven, yet Willis himself appears to regard it with some measure of fondness. That’s the most plausible explanation for his headlining presence in “Once Upon a Time in Venice,” a similarly negligible but rather more chaotic caper from Mark and Robb Cullen , the fraternal duo behind the “Cop Out” screenplay. Assuming directing as well as writing duties this time, the Cullens prove no heirs to the Coens as conductors of oddball underworld mayhem, with much of their glib quippery soured by gauche minority stereotyping. What scant charms this direct-to-video-style Nineties throwback has belong mostly to Willis, as a grizzled Venice Beach gumshoe juggling a number of shaggy-dog cases, chief among them the abduction of his own literal mutt. The back alleys of ancillary and streaming await.

If nothing else, “Once Upon a Time in Venice” serves as the requisite third film to seal a resurgent cinematic trend: Following “John Wick” and last year’s Ethan Hawke starrer “In a Valley of Violence,” the canine-motivated revenge tale appears to be taking shape as its own action subgenre. Still, the Cullens’ film ranks as a minor entry in this minor bracket — even its dog drama is low-stakes, with Buddy, the scruffily lovable Parson Russell terrier in question, thankfully never in any appreciable danger. Instead, he’s just a live, fuzzy magnet for the haphazard narrative, redirecting the movements of laid-back private eye Steve Ford (Willis) after he’s dognapped and passed from one Westside criminal denizen to the next.

In addition to recovering Buddy from the muscled clutches of drug lord Spyder (Jason Momoa, whose gruff charisma deserves more generous use), Ford’s investigations also entail returning a missing Samoan beauty (Jessica Gomes) to the custody of her hothead brothers, and unmasking the pornographic graffiti artist maliciously defacing the buildings of sleazy property developer “Lew the Jew” (Adam Goldberg). The script smugly lampshades the offensiveness of the latter’s nickname — a trick it distastefully repeats at several points with regard to black, Latino and transgender characters, all treated chiefly as figures of fun.

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The mountingly idiotic specifics of the plotting are, however, beside the point. “Venice” is more interested simply in hanging out with Willis’s kinda-cool, kinda-clumsy dude as he bumbles about his business — and, somewhat extraneously, that of his best pal Dave (a drawn, bored-looking John Goodman), a surfing store owner in the throes of divorce crisis. (No prizes for guessing that women get the shortest shrift here: as Ford’s sister and Dave’s ex, respectively, Famke Janssen and Elizabeth Rohm have little to do but glower with a weary sense of neglect that can’t be difficult for any actress in this boys-first romp to channel.)

The structural model here lies somewhere between the Coens’ “The Big Lebowski” (echoed in particular with Goodman’s presence) and Robert Altman’s “The Long Goodbye” — but the film has neither the wit nor the atmosphere to pull off even its broader, bro-ier take on such territory. What we do get is Willis skateboarding butt-naked over the streets and bar counters of Venice, a handgun wedged in his anus, during a frenzied chase sequence: hardly Raymond Chandler, but a peak setpiece the film oddly squanders in its first reels.

Least successful of all is the Cullens’ half-cocked attempt to fashion the film as a buddy detective comedy, with Willis’s antics shadowed throughout by his younger, dorkier apprentice John (Thomas Middleditch), a  film noir  buff who contributes needless, goofily soft-boiled narration throughout. Essentially repackaging his sweet-geek shtick from TV’s “Silicon Valley,” the ever-affable Middleditch can’t quite mask the impression that his entire character was a later modification to the script, driving no part of it despite his overseeing voiceover. With nearly half an hour passing before he and Willis so much as share a scene, the two actors hardly get a chance to build a rapport — indeed, thanks to some rather choppy editing, they often appear to be occupying separate, albeit markedly similar, films.

Other tech contributions are sleeker, with Amir Mokri’s widescreen lensing playing off both the sun-bleached dilapidation and scuzzy neon allure of the film’s very particular (and, to its credit, heavily used) Venice Beach locale. Jeff Cardoni’s score and accompanying jukebox soundtrack are appropriately all over the place, though if the frequent injections of 1960s surf guitar were intended to channel the dizzy Los Angeleno rush (and Bruce Willis glory days) of Quentin Tarantino’s “Pulp Fiction,” the evocation isn’t exactly flattering.

Reviewed online, London, June 14, 2017. Running time: 94 MIN.

• Production: An RLJ Entertainment release of a Voltage Pictures production. Producers: Laura Ford, Nicolas Chartier, Zev Foreman, Mark Cullen, Robb Cullen. Executive producers: Valentina Gardani, Patrick Newall, Stephen Eads.
• Crew: Director: Mark Cullen. Screenplay: Cullen, Robb Cullen. Camera (color, widescreen): Amir Mokri. Editor: Matt Diezel. Music: Jeff Cardoni.
• With: Bruce Willis, Thomas Middleditch, John Goodman, Jason Momoa, Adam Goldberg, Famke Janssen, Jessica Gomes, Emily Robinson, Christopher McDonald, Stephanie Sigman, Maurice Compte, Kal Penn, Elizabeth Rohm.

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Once upon a time in venice, common sense media reviewers.

Mature humor in goofy-but-violent crime caper.

A Lot or a Little?

What you will—and won't—find in this movie.

Not much is learned here other than "don't steal s

Characters act recklessly and without regard for a

Guns and shooting. Grenades. Characters are beaten

The main character is naked during a long sequence

Very strong language includes uses of "f--k," "mot

Mentions of Google and Starbucks.

A supporting character is a drug dealer. A suitcas

Parents need to know that Once Upon a Time in Venice is a crime/action comedy starring Bruce Willis about several colorful characters in the Southern California community. It has lots of over-the-top violence involving guns and shooting, grenades, explosions, car crashes, and characters being beaten up,…

Positive Messages

Not much is learned here other than "don't steal someone's dog." Some cultural insensitivity.

Positive Role Models

Characters act recklessly and without regard for anything, including consequences. Some diversity, but that doesn't make any of the characters more admirable. Women are generally treated as sex objects.

Violence & Scariness

Guns and shooting. Grenades. Characters are beaten up, choked, and hit with blunt objects. Car crashes. Characters are tied up and threatened.

Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Violence & Scariness in your kid's entertainment guide.

Sex, Romance & Nudity

The main character is naked during a long sequence; bare bottom seen. Several sex scenes/sexual situations. Sex noises heard. Topless woman. Graphic graffiti that vividly depicts several sex acts. Prostitutes shown. Mention of sex with hookers, mentions of porn. A man attends a meeting for sex addicts. Strong, frequent innuendo.

Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Sex, Romance & Nudity in your kid's entertainment guide.

Very strong language includes uses of "f--k," "motherf----r," "s--t," "ass," "a--hole," "son of a bitch," "piss," "goddamn," "cajones," "balls," and "f----t," plus "Christ" and "Jesus Christ" (as exclamations).

Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Language in your kid's entertainment guide.

Products & Purchases

Drinking, drugs & smoking.

A supporting character is a drug dealer. A suitcase full of cocaine is shown. Smoking. Mentions of "weed," "blow," "acid," and "tequila." Minor characters appear stoned.

Did you know you can flag iffy content? Adjust limits for Drinking, Drugs & Smoking in your kid's entertainment guide.

Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that Once Upon a Time in Venice is a crime/action comedy starring Bruce Willis about several colorful characters in the Southern California community. It has lots of over-the-top violence involving guns and shooting, grenades, explosions, car crashes, and characters being beaten up, injured, tied up, and hit with blunt objects. Language is also strong, with multiple uses of "f--k," "s--t," and more. Mature sexual content includes racy sex scenes and/or sexual situations, with both a naked male bottom and a woman's breasts shown. Graffiti art on the side of a building depicts several very graphic sexual acts. Prostitutes are shown and mentioned, and a man attends a meeting for sex addicts. A supporting character is a drug dealer, and a case of cocaine is important to the plot. Smoking is shown, and other drugs are mentioned; some characters appear stoned. The movie doesn't approach art, but if the mood is right, it's silly fun. To stay in the loop on more movies like this, you can sign up for weekly Family Movie Night emails .

Where to Watch

Videos and photos.

Community Reviews

• Parents say (1)

Based on 1 parent review

Finally a movie to watch again!

What's the story.

In ONCE UPON A TIME IN VENICE, private detective Steve Ford ( Bruce Willis ) is a recognizable figure in his Venice, Calif., neighborhood. When he's caught sleeping with a missing woman he's located, he escapes, naked, on a skateboard. This leads to a job recovering a stolen car from a drug dealer named Spyder ( Jason Momoa ). But before things can settle down, Steve's dog, Buddy, is stolen, and it looks as if the dangerous Spyder is involved. And that's somehow connected to another case: Real estate man Lou the Jew ( Adam Goldberg ) is being pestered with graphic graffiti on his building and wants to catch the culprit. To unwind this tangled series of events, which also involves a case of drugs and money borrowed from a loan shark, Steve's best friend, surf shop manager Dave ( John Goodman ), decides to help. Through it all, Steve's apprentice, John ( Thomas Middleditch ), is available to narrate.

Is It Any Good?

Another in a long line of Tarantino-inspired, multi-character comic crime capers, this movie stays on its toes during a whirlwind of sly humor, cool-headed characters, and colorful situations. The absurd plot of Once Upon a Time in Venice keeps charging ahead with a goofy gait, not even allowing time for the hero to sleep. Willis is fresh and at his cool, cocky best, and director Mark Cullen -- who previously wrote the screenplay for the awful Willis vehicle Cop Out -- gives the entire supporting cast a chance to shine. Only Middleditch's character, who narrates, is a bit too slapsticky.

Especially funny is -- surprisingly -- Game of Thrones ' Momoa, who gives his drug dealer character (who once supposedly killed a Starbucks barista for misspelling his name) a quiet dignity. Other jokes are broad and purposely offensive but carried off with spirit. Once Upon a Time in Venice is far from a work of art, and in Willis' filmography it's closer to Alpha Dog or Lucky Number Slevin than Red or Pulp Fiction , but it's a bright, sunny, silly movie, and perhaps worth a viewing on TV.

Talk to Your Kids About ...

Families can talk about Once Upon a Time in Venice 's violence . Is it realistic or cartoonish? How does the movie's tone affect its impact ?

How is sex depicted? Are the sex acts shown as emotional connections? Anything else? Parents, talk to your teens about your own values regarding sex and relationships.

Are drugs and/or smoking glamorized? Are there consequences for their use? Why does that matter?

When is crude/over-the-top humor funny, and when does it cross the line? Who decides where "the line" is?

Movie Details

• In theaters : June 16, 2017
• On DVD or streaming : August 15, 2017
• Cast : Bruce Willis , John Goodman , Jason Momoa
• Director : Mark Cullen
• Inclusion Information : Indigenous actors, Polynesian/Pacific Islander actors
• Studio : RLJ Entertainment
• Genre : Action/Adventure
• Run time : 95 minutes
• MPAA rating : NR
• Last updated : November 29, 2023

Did we miss something on diversity?

Research shows a connection between kids' healthy self-esteem and positive portrayals in media. That's why we've added a new "Diverse Representations" section to our reviews that will be rolling out on an ongoing basis. You can help us help kids by suggesting a diversity update.

Suggest an Update

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Once Upon a Time in Venice Reviews

Stuff happens in Venice, but it never feels like it's building toward anything, either as a payoff for the setpieces it subjects us to or as a subversion of expected payoff.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/5 | Sep 24, 2020

... the chaos and mish-mash of ideas takes over and not much is done to reign it in and make it into a movie that doesn't feel like a bit of a mess.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/5 | Apr 17, 2020

Once Upon a Time in Venice sports a truly incredible cast, who are then placed as cartoon characters in a shallow pastiche of crime stories. Enter a world where every person is defined by stereotype, yet still gets introduced by a narrator.

Full Review | Jan 9, 2020

Once Upon a Time in Venice isn't a classic, but it's certainly not a waste of time either.

Full Review | Original Score: 6.5/10 | Oct 10, 2019

Based on the fun work being done by most of the cast, this could have been an entertaining little genre exercise with the right leading man. Instead, it's a sad reminder that Looper may be the last good movie Bruce Willis will ever make.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Jul 17, 2019

Not funny enough or crazy enough, when it could be a "gangsters stole my dog" B-movie caper; Bruce Willis is amiable, John Goodman underused. Buddy the dog doesn't make an appearance for ages -- he deserved better (and I'm a cat person).

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/5 | Nov 9, 2018

Despite having an all-star talented cast, Once Upon A Time In Venice doesn't live up to the action comedies that preceded it despite a talented cast.

Full Review | Nov 26, 2017

The script is awful and the goofy stunts are not as entertaining as you expect them to be.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Sep 20, 2017

Once Upon A Time In Venice is clearly a film made by cinephiles, but the scattered subplots and underdeveloped characters combine for an overall misfire.

Full Review | Aug 31, 2017

Imagine Hudson Hawk barrelling along Abbot Kinney Boulevard, collecting John Wick as he enters from Brooks Avenue, before both are rammed by the Inherent Vice bus on Main.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/5 | Aug 17, 2017

An ultra-lite version of Paul Thomas Anderson's "Inherent Vice," "Once Upon a Time in Venice" is a sunny SoCal noir so inconsequential it seems to evaporate as it plays out.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4 | Aug 14, 2017

Adding yet another meaningless B-movie role to his long list of misses, veteran action star, Bruce Willis, returns to the big screen.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Aug 9, 2017

Once Upon a Time in Venice is a sterling example of how a lazy star can make a bad movie even worse.

Full Review | Jul 1, 2017

Fueled by testosterone, it's a wannabe action-comedy caper that turns out to be neither.

Full Review | Original Score: 4/10 | Jun 27, 2017

You leave with a lot of questions, first and foremost being: Bruce Willis woke up for this?

Full Review | Jun 22, 2017

I still can't stop smiling and thinking about the unusual and entertaining performances of Bruce Willis, John Goodman and Jason Momoa in 'Once Upon a Time in Venice.'

Full Review | Jun 20, 2017

It's good to have Bruce Willis back in a lead role as a wiseacre private eye, though this shambling shaggy-dog story about a kidnapped pooch is like a stoned student film with major stars, or a cross between Inherent Vice and The Big Lebowski.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/5 | Jun 19, 2017

Another in a long line of Tarantino-inspired, multi-character comic crime capers, this movie stays on its toes during a whirlwind of sly humor, cool-headed characters, and colorful situations.

Full Review | Original Score: 3/5 | Jun 19, 2017

Comedy is subjective, so while I'm about to trash this lazy and obnoxiously unfunny movie you may actually enjoy it. Especially if you have an terrible sense of humor.

Full Review | Jun 16, 2017

That hissing sound you hear is the air being let out of Bruce Willis as he struggles mightily to reconnect with once-vital action-comedy chops in the dim, unfunny Once Upon a Time in Venice.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN VENICE – Review

Review by Mark Longden

I genuinely have no idea what to make of ONCE UPON A TIME IN VENICE. Like, why was it made? Who thought “yes, this is definitely the best we can manage” and released it to the public? Just before I looked up the career of co-writer / director Mark Cullen, I had the creeping realisation that this felt like a double episode of a basic-cable light drama show like “Burn Notice”, only not quite as good; it turns out Cullen has previous form in TV, being the creator of two failed shows (“ Back In The Gam e” and “ Mr Robinson ”), and also the writer of “Cop Out”, the comedy that director Kevin Smith described as the most miserable experience of his life.

But I feel like Mr Cullen shouldn’t get the lion’s share of the blame for this – that must go to top-billed Bruce Willis, who also starred in “ Cop Out ”, where he regularly ignored his script, direction and co-stars for no reason other than he could. Well, that was a big budget cinema release, and this isn’t, and it’s safe to say Willis had a great deal more say about how this one turned out.

He plays Steve Ford, the only private detective in Venice Beach. Really? No, sorry, can’t get sidetracked this early. The basic plot is sort of about his friend’s dog, which is kidnapped by a drug dealer, and there’s a guy trying to sell an apartment block that a graffiti artist keeps defacing with exceptionally graphic art (the movie’s sole remotely funny running gag), and he’s got a best friend going through a divorce, and an assistant who’s also the movie’s narrator. The dog is the only creature in the movie who appears to be trying. There’s a few scenes with trans sex workers, and in case you were wondering, they’re so dumb that it’s difficult to take offence, or have any other sort of emotion than pity.

How I assume it worked is, Bruce made a few phone calls to his friends and got anyone who had a few days to spare to come along to Venice and shoot a few scenes, leading to an exceptionally baggy movie, one that feels far far longer than its 94 minute running time. He also wanted to have sex with a couple of women young enough to be his granddaughters (Willis is 62, and neither of the women he’s with look older than 25), so that happens as well. Sidetracked again! The drug dealer is Jason Momoa, his best friend is John Goodman, Goodman’s wife is Elizabeth Rohm, the real estate guy (called “Lew The Jew” but it’s cool because he calls himself that) is Adam Goldberg, Kal Penn pops up to play the guy who runs the corner convenience store, Famke Janssen is the dog’s owner and his assistant is played by Thomas Middleditch.

Now, the opening scene might have you believe that Middleditch is the star, and his unnecessary voiceover is our constant companion. His sole purpose, though, is to do the scenes that Willis couldn’t be bothered to, as the two men share almost no screen time and don’t have enough character between them to make two separate people. Their interactions have the strong whiff of improv, too, like Willis couldn’t be bothered to learn his lines, or he knew that Middleditch was an improv guy and wanted to try his hand at it as well (here’s a spoiler: he probably should have just stuck to the script).

If you like seeing movies where old men have sex with young women and fight huge, strong guys, then…I’d still not recommend this. There’s also a scene at the beginning where Willis is naked, on a skateboard (he’s a former skateboard champion as well as being a disgraced cop, two potential plot areas that are completely ignored after the first few scenes) and is chased through the streets. Do you want to know what a completely insulated-from-reality elderly A-lister thinks is funny? You’ll see it here, and you’ll also see the most obvious nudity-double ever, one so obvious that a better movie would have played it for laughs.

It’s nice, I suppose, to see Willis in light-comedy mode, a reminder that there was a good reason he was once one of the biggest stars on the planet. But he seems to be treating his waning years in slightly the same fashion as Marlon Brando or Nicolas Cage – Brando for the doing whatever he liked on set; and Cage for the choices themselves, although admittedly he hasn’t slipped quite as far into straight-to-video obscurity as Cage occasionally has.

Pepper in a few plot holes (if you had an eight-figure real estate deal about to go south thanks to a graffiti artist, would you hire a proper security firm…or the laziest private eye in town?) and you’ve got yourself a movie. Sort of. I kept hoping one of them would step up, but Middleditch looks like he’d rather be anywhere else, Willis looks like he doesn’t care and everyone else looks like they’re not sure what they’re supposed to be doing. There’s a curious mix of low-key improv comedy and slapstick, like they couldn’t decide which to do, and they really don’t go well together, in this instance.

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Summary Steve Ford (Bruce Willis) is a down but not out L.A based Private Investigator whose professional and personal worlds collide after his loving pet Buddy is stolen by a notorious gang. A series of crazy circumstances find him doing the gang's bidding, while being chased by two vengeful Samoan brothers, a loan shark's goons, and a few othe ... Read More

Directed By : Mark Cullen

Written By : Mark Cullen, Robb Cullen

Once Upon a Time in Venice

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Once Upon a Time in Venice (2017) Review

Another buddy cop movie sees bruce willis go full-on comedy..

Once Upon a Time in Venice is a 2017 action/comedy about a Los Angeles detective who seeks out the ruthless gang who stole his dog.

The buddy cop genre is all but played out with nearly every conceivable pairing there is, the joke of it capped way back in 1993’s Last Action Hero,  though there seems no end to the trope decades on. With One Upon a Time in Venice , a new comedy that pits one more odd couple together, that pairing is an admittedly funny one filled with lots of potential though there’s not much we haven’t seen before, however at least it gets some quality mileage from its star.

That would be none other than  Bruce Willis who of late has not made any great effort to find the best roles, sticking mostly to indie projects that give him limited screen time and a hefty paycheck. Here though, he is back in the lead role and for the most part, has some fun with the premise, playing LA detective Steve Ford, a former disgraced police officer handling petty cases as he spends his time skateboarding and chilling, helping his pals, including Dave ( John Goodman ) with his divorce, and taking care of sister-in-law Katey ( Famke Janssen ) and her daughter. Mostly though, he’s showing bumbling new partner John ( Thomas Middleditch ) how to do the job though all of that goes out the window when Steve’s cuddly dog gets stolen, which puts him in the line of fire with a gang leader named Spyder ( Jason Momoa ), a person he’s already got beef with from an earlier incident.

Written by Mark and Robb Cullen and directed by Mark in their feature film debut, Once Upon a Time in Venice  sees them returning to work with Willis, having written the script for his 2010 buddy cop movie Cop Out , taking that formula and recycling it for one more spin. It’s a familiar theme with a good-natured guy running afoul of just about everything in his path and the Cullen’s throw whatever they can into the mix to try and trip up Steve, sometimes making it work though the tonal ups and downs often leave it hard to know where it’s all supposed to be. If you can imagine a fully naked Bruce Willis riding a skateboard while being chased by thugs and then holding a pistol between his butt cheeks as police corner him, well, you might see where this is going. Or not.

It’s all played out in a sort of ‘day in the life’ attitude with movements in the story progressing along with new characters coming and going, including Lou the Jew ( Adam Goldberg ), a spastic real estate manager at the end of his rope because of a graffiti artist, a pretty girl named Nola ( Jessica Gomes ) who likes to have sex with Steve but can’t seem to do it without her big brothers trying to stop her, and a few others, all pulling Steve in different directions. It’s a lot to unpack and while Willis seems up to the task, committed to the whole ordeal with jump off the cliff gung-ho, the film itself can’t seem to find it’s groove either as a parody or a fun adventure. It’s great to see Willis in charming comedic form again, but it’s not enough to elevate this to where it should.

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Once upon a time in venice.

• 75 Chicago Sun-Times Richard Roeper Chicago Sun-Times Richard Roeper At times it’s funny as hell. At other times it’s pretty much a disaster. But it never commits the crime of being tedious.
• 50 RogerEbert.com RogerEbert.com The best thing that can be said about Once Upon a Time in Venice, a very light action comedy from Mark and Robb Cullen, is that it allows Willis to cut loose and have fun.
• 38 Movie Nation Roger Moore Movie Nation Roger Moore The messy tangle of the plot, which involves Steve-Bruce getting knocked out, more than once, does little more than throw a whole lot of potentially silly stuff against the screen — some of it landing laughs.
• 33 IndieWire Kate Erbland IndieWire Kate Erbland Mark Cullen’s ruthlessly boring and decidedly dismal Once Upon a Time in Venice marks a new low in Willis’ still-trucking action career, one that even Cage would likely flinch at, even if it does feature an entire sequence dedicated to naked skateboarding.
• 30 The New York Times Neil Genzlinger The New York Times Neil Genzlinger The movie tries for propulsive Tarantino grit but ends up being just another annoying example of Hollywood’s addiction to stories in which graying white men bed beautiful young women and beat up men much more youthful and fit than they are.
• 25 The A.V. Club Ignatiy Vishnevetsky The A.V. Club Ignatiy Vishnevetsky Stylistically, Once Upon A Time In Venice is mostly indistinguishable from a middling TV pilot that never made it to series.
• 20 Los Angeles Times Michael Rechtshaffen Los Angeles Times Michael Rechtshaffen A wincingly unfunny comedy caper.
• 20 Variety Guy Lodge Variety Guy Lodge What scant charms this direct-to-video-style Nineties throwback has belong mostly to Willis.
• 20 TheWrap Robert Abele TheWrap Robert Abele A stroll along the Venice boardwalk is likely to elicit more laughs, and probably even thrills, than Once Upon a Time in Venice.
• See all 9 reviews on Metacritic.com
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Review: ‘Once Upon a Time in Venice’ Unleashes a Bland Bruce Willis

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By Neil Genzlinger

• June 15, 2017

A bunch of well-known faces look lost in “Once Upon a Time in Venice,” which is billed as an action-comedy but has little comedy and less action.

Bruce Willis stars as Steve Ford, a private detective in the Venice Beach section of Los Angeles whom the story puts through various indignities, including a naked skateboard ride, before eventually getting to the main yarn, which involves Steve’s efforts to recover his stolen dog from a drug dealer. Also on hand is John Goodman, playing a good friend of Steve’s who is going through a divorce, a side plot that has no real purpose; Mr. Goodman seems to have no idea how he landed in the movie.

Thomas Middleditch, who needs someone to explain to him the dangers of overexposure, plays his usual bumbling character, a gofer for Steve who also narrates the tale. The barely coherent script (the brothers Robb and Mark Cullen wrote the script, with Mark Cullen directing) involves cocaine, real estate and a man (Adam Goldberg) who wants Steve to find out who keeps painting pornographic graffiti on a building he owns.

The movie tries for propulsive Tarantino grit but ends up being just another annoying example of Hollywood’s addiction to stories in which graying white men bed beautiful young women and beat up men much more youthful and fit than they are.

Not rated. Running time: 1 hour 34 minutes.

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Review: Weird prevails in ‘Once Upon a Time in Venice’

Bruce willis stars in oddball detective story that never takes itself very seriously.

It was one thing when Bart Simpson rode his skateboard nude through “The Simpsons Movie.” It’s another when Bruce Willis pulls the same stunt in “Once Upon a Time in Venice,” showing this daffy detective story has a flare for the absurd.

Willis stars as Steve Ford, a private detective in Venice Beach, navigating an interconnected world of loan sharks, drag queens, drug dealers, shady businessmen, gang members, sex addicts and surf shop owners. It’s as much a snapshot of a screwball neighborhood as it is a loose-ended shaggy dog story, with a weird, buoyant spirit that lifts it up over its somewhat sloppy storytelling.

“Venice” never takes itself very seriously, but it had enough going for it to attract a talented cast that includes John Goodman, Jason “Aquaman” Momoa, Famke Janssen, Kal Penn, Thomas Middleditch and Adam Goldberg. At one point David Arquette walks through the frame, and it’s possible he may have just been walking through the frame. It’s that kind of movie.

The story, as it were, kicks off when Ford is hired to find a girl (whom he winds up sleeping with) and is chased down by her brothers, forcing him into the aforementioned nude skateboarding scenario. When his niece’s dog gets snatched up by some bad guys, it leads Ford down a long trail of oddball neighborhood types, highlighted by Momoa’s Spyder, a tough-talking but level-headed drug kingpin. (When Ford asks Spyder for directions, Spyder claps back, “Google it, homes!”)

“Once Upon a Time in Venice” was directed by Mark Cullen, from a script he wrote with his brother, Robb. It’s the kind of curiosity that doesn’t get made much anymore, but when it does, its weirdness is worth noting.

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‘Once Upon a Time in Venice’

Rated R: for language, drug use, nudity, violence and sexual situations

Running time: 94 minutes

Movieman's Guide to the Movies

Review: once upon a time in venice bd + screen caps.

Once Upon a Time in Venice (2017)

Genre(s): Comedy, Crime RLJ Entertainment | NR – 94 min. – $34.97 | August 15, 2017

Date Published: 08/14/2017 | Author: The Movieman

Check out some more 1080p screen caps by going to page 2. Please note, these do contain spoilers .

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‘Once Upon a Time In Venice’ Review: Once Upon a Time Bruce Willis Made Good Movies

Bruce willis re-teams with the writers of cop out . what could go wrong.

Here’s the thing. Comedy is subjective, so while I’m about to trash this lazy and obnoxiously unfunny movie you may actually enjoy it. Especially if you have an absolutely terrible sense of humor.

Steve Ford (Willis) is Venice Beach’s only licensed detective, but by all accounts it’s due more to population than the actual quality of his work. He spends his days teaching the local kids about skateboarding and whores, his P.I. partner is an unassuming little man named John ( Thomas Middleditch ), and he loves his niece’s dog. His latest job is working a case for Lew the Jew ( Adam Goldberg ) who’s hired him to find the person responsible for lewd graffiti being left on his condo exteriors, but the plot thickens when thieves abduct the dog and give it to a local thug ( Jason Momoa ) with a grudge against Ford.

Despite the bad-ass nature of the poster below Once Upon a Time in Venice is every bit a goofy, laid-back comedy with relatively few action beats. Unfortunately for viewers who enjoy action/comedies neither element works all that well here. The film’s singular highlight, the only scene to earn a smile, sees John Goodman watching Zombeavers while eating soup.

Director Mark Cullen and his co-writer, Robb Cullen , also wrote Willis’ ill-fated Kevin Smith feature, Cop Out , and this is an inarguable step down. The central mistake the brothers Cullen make, beyond the belief that familiar faces equal guaranteed enjoyment, is the idea that “edgy” spectacle makes for surefire laughs. How else to explain the sight of a naked Willis (well, his body double anyway) skateboarding down a city street with bad guys on his heels and a pistol clenched between his ass cheeks? The punchline to it all is when he pulls the gun out and says “So that’s what that feels like.”

Hilarious, right?

The hits keep coming with “funny” jokes about race and religion, typically followed with a verbal disclaimer about how the speaker’s not being offensive, and any hope of the film redeeming itself is abandoned by the time Ford is forcibly dressed up like a woman and then chased by transvestite hookers.

There’s no denying that this ensemble is a talented cast, but precisely none of them are used to their actual strengths. It’s been a while since Willis appeared to care about his work — 2012’s Looper probably — and that doesn’t change here as he limps his way from scene to scene with zero enthusiasm. Momoa’s take on a Hispanic (-ish?) gangster results in his least imposing performance ever as neither the humor nor the threats land. Middleditch, who also narrates the film in another of the script’s unfortunate choices, is even more subdued and easily flustered than usual. Famke Janssen , Kal Penn , and Christopher McDonald also make too brief appearances to matter.

Goodman’s presence is a plus based strictly on Goodman himself, but even he feels at a loss as his character acts as little more than a distraction. Dave (Goodman) is a nice guy, Ford’s friend, and struggling with an impending divorce. His mellow behavior shifts quickly as he latches onto Ford’s investigation, and soon he’s every bit the jerk the rest are. Again though, he watches the under-appreciated Zombeavers while eating soup so it’s not a total loss.

Once Upon a Time in Venice is an action/comedy that’s neither funny nor exciting, and viewers looking for fun times, snappy dialogue, and a cantankerous Willis will be better off looking backward to the man’s earlier films with more accomplished filmmakers.

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Once Upon A Time In Venice (2017) – A Review

A review of the 2017 action comedy Once Upon A Time In Venice starring Bruce Willis, John Goodman, Jason Momoa, Jessica Gomes, Thomas Middleditch and Famke Janssen

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Bruce Willis is a private detective in Venice Beach. His dog gets stolen and he sets out to get back his lovable mutt. Along the way he encounters an eclectic cast, oddball characters and a series of convoluted tasks in this action comedy.

Once Upon A Time In Venice is not a good movie. It’s a pretty lazy, unfunny and unexciting yarn that had I expected something more from it, I would have felt pissed that I wasted my time on it. BUT I didn’t expect anything worthwhile from it and it delivered on that.

For those hoping for some old school Willis action they’ll be disappointed. Written and directed by Mark and Robb Cullen, it’s more comedic than action – or at least tries to be comedic. Sure there’s some action bits in it, but they’re kind of pushed to the background. The focus mainly stays on stale jokes and an offbeat tone with wacky characters. It really doesn’t work.

I’m not sure if Once Upon A Time In Venice was written before John Wick with the hero’s dog being the lynchpin to kick off the story, but it’s hard not to draw comparisons to that element. I’d wager most reviews have made that connection, so I’ll leave it there.

Thomas Middleditch who is working for Willis goes undercover to a sex addiction meeting. A beautiful Jessica Gomes shows up as a runaway who Willis sleeps with and her big brothers chase after. Now there’s a LONG sequence of Willis skateboarding away from them naked. Further humor is added to this by Willis holding a gun between his butt cheeks. Yeah, a real laugh riot.

Willis’ pal John Goodman is going through a divorce and is losing his surf shop. Willis’ pizza guy friend convinces him to steal back his car that was taken by Jason Momoa. Don’t blink, there’s Famke Janssen playing Willis’ sister.

This by the way is all before the meat of the story starts up!

It’s just like seemingly random stuff that doesn’t connect or is funny. It’s like they didn’t have enough ideas to sustain the story for even ninety minutes and they came up with these bits to fulfill a film running time and dropped them in the beginning.

When Willis’ dog does get taken things don’t get much better. Willis agrees to get Momoa’s stolen cocaine back in exchange for his pooch. Then the dog switches hands. There’s this goofy bit about an ongoing pornographic graffiti artist. A tough drag queen who puts makeup and a wig on Willis. Willis having to borrow money from loan shark Ken Davitian. Middledtich’s mission dressing as a cowboy at some Spanish bar. Then there’s even more familiar faces you’ll recognize and wonder, ‘How did they end up in this movie?’

This sound like a crazed shopping list huh? You might be wondering, ‘Well, how does this all connect into one story?’. It really doesn’t and I gave up trying to make sense of how the story was progressing. The movie almost becomes a cinematic equivalent of Mad Libs.

I guess it’s meant to be a series of escalating events that draw Willis into encountering more and more bizarre characters and situations, but it’s just so exhaustingly dull! Even this section, that doesn’t even last an hour, felt like it dragged on for twice that long! It started to feel like some kind of lame detective/cop show you’d stumble across on the USA Network.

I know Willis has done quite a few video on demand movies in recent years. I would love to know why.

I’m sure they pay decently and it’s steady work, but are they really worth his time? He can’t be this desperate for a paycheck. I’ve only watched this one, but from what I’ve heard of the others they’re about the same quality.

These cheaper video on demand and direct to streaming movies are a great avenue for B-level actors to get featured in. In Hollywood they might not be viewed as exactly A-List anymore and older actors who’s sheen has worn off can get to work in these and be a bigger fish in this little pond, rather than struggle to land a smaller role in a big Hollywood flick. But I never considered Willis to have that problem.

He basically plays the action persona he’s been known as for decades, he doesn’t have to put a lot of effort into that and looks like he’s trying to get through this as quickly and with as little enthusiasm as possible. I don’t really understand his decisions.

This is miles above when I thought it was strange that he did the voice in Look Who’s Talking all those years ago. At least that must of only been a days work and a big payday back when his movie career was still relatively new.

I’m still confused by it. The biggest moment that held my attention was Gomes taking her top off.

For Willis fans who have been hoping he’d get back into their good graces after….now a pretty long dry spell of subpar flicks, don’t look to this one for any kind of redemptive entertainment from him.

Don’t be fooled by the tantalizing cast and think, “It can’t be too bad.” You’ll be eating those words not even halfway through this flick.

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2 thoughts on “ once upon a time in venice (2017) – a review ”.

Wife and I enjoyed the movie. But then again we do not ask too much from a Bruce Willis movie these days. I will admit, I am waiting for the sequel. Please do not ban me.

You are absolutely entitled to like it! I’m glad you enjoyed it, as you read I wasn’t a fan, but I’m still hopeful that Glass will be decent and maybe it will be a better quality Bruce flick that will satisfy everyone.

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‘Once Upon a Time in Venice’ Movie Review

Ford is no Magnum, P.I., but he does manage to come out on top. When his dog Buddy is stolen, that’s the last straw for this man. His main focus now is getting his dog back, but he cannot let his other clients down in the meantime. Luckily for Ford, everything and every one tie together so while on the trail of Buddy, he also helps solve other cases.

Along the way to retrieving his beloved pooch, Ford makes a bargain with the leader of the most devilish gang in the area. Spyder (Jason Momoa) has a soft spot, even though he is a gangster, drug dealer, and thief. He is also a man of his word. He has some scruples.

Ford follows one lead after another, and during this time he catches up with Buddy several times, but then things fall apart. To finally get his best friend back, Ford has to do some unsavory things, like stealing a shipment of cocaine to trade for his dog. But dogs are mans best friend so Ford has no qualms about doing anything to get back Buddy.

With the help of his surfer dude friend (John Goodman), they manage some pretty interesting swaps and Goodman’s character of Dave is the comic relief in the film. He has some pretty cute scenes and is the salvation of the movie. Well, him and Buddy. Let’s face it, films about dogs are endearing – most of the time – unless the dog dies. But don’t worry, Buddy is very much alive and happy at the end of the film, even though there are plenty of gunfights along the way.

Once Upon a Time in Venice could have been a very entertaining film. Unfortunately, it isn’t. If you don’t have high expectations for this film, then you might enjoy it. The movie opens June 16, 2017.

About the Author

Francine Brokaw has been covering all aspects of the entertainment industry for over 20 years. She also writes about products and travel. She has been published in national and international newspapers and magazines as well as Internet websites. She has written her own book, Beyond the Red Carpet The World of Entertainment Journalists , from Sourced Media Books.

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