an advice that changed my life essay

Essays About Life-changing Experiences: 5 Examples

Discover our guide for writing essays about life-changing experiences that combine three different elements: narrative, description, and self-reflection. 

Each of us has gone through life-changing experiences that shaped us into the individuals we are today. Because of how powerful they are, these events make for fascinating topics in writing. This subject doesn’t only let us tell our life stories, and it also pushes us to evaluate our behavior and reflect on why an incident happened.

Attract your readers by creating an excellent introduction and choosing a unique or exciting encounter. Paint a picture of the events that describe your experience vividly and finish with a strong conclusion.

5 Essay Examples

1. long essay on experience that changed my life by prasanna, 2. life-changing events: personal experience by anonymous on studycorgi.com, 3. my example of a life-changing experience by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 4. life-changing experience: death essay by writer annie, 5. a life-changing experience during the holiday season by anonymous on studymoose.com, 1. life-changing experience: defined, 2. the experience that changed my life, 3. life-changing events and how they impact lives, 4. everyday events that change a person’s life, 5. the person who change my life, 6. books or movies that changed my life, 7. a life-changing quote.

“Experiences can be good and sometimes terrible that results in a positive or negative impact on one’s life. Life is full of many unexpected challenges and unknown turning points that will come along any time. People must learn and grow from every experience that they go through in life rather than losing yourself.”

In this essay, Prasanna discusses her father’s death as her most challenging life-changing experience. She was cheerful, immature, and carefree when her father was still alive. However, when her father left, she became the decision-maker of their family because her mother was unable to.

Prasanna mentions that she lost not only a father but also a friend, motivator, and mentor. That sad and unexpected experience turned her into an introverted, mature, and responsible head of the family. Ultimately, she thanks her father for making her a better person, and because of the devastating incident, she realizes who she can trust and how she should handle the real world. You might also be interested in these essays about choice .

“In life, certain experiences present challenges that change the way people relate to themselves and their families. Certain life events mark life-changing moments that alter lives either positively or negatively. It matters how people handle their relationships at such critical moments.”

This essay contains two life events that helped the author become a better person. These events taught them to trust and appreciate people, be responsible, and value family. The first event is when their best friend passes away, leading to stress, loss of appetite, and depression. The second circumstance happened when the author postponed their studies because they were afraid to grow up and be accountable for their decisions and actions.

The writer’s family showed them love, support, and understanding through these events. These events changed their behavior, attitude, and perspective on life and guided them to strengthen family relationships.

For help picking your next essay topic, check out our 20 engaging essay topics about family .

“I thought it was awkward because he looked and acted very professional. In that moment I thought to myself, ‘this person is going to have a great impact in my life!’. I was very curious to meet him and get a chance to show him my personality.”

This essay proves that you should always believe in yourself and not be afraid to try something new. The author recalls when they had many problems and met an extraordinary person who changed their life. 

When they were in sixth grade, the writer had life issues that caused them to be anxious about any future endeavor. The author then says they don’t usually open up to teachers because they fear their reactions. Then they met Mr. Salazar, a mentor who respects and values them, and the writer considers him their best friend.

“When the funeral was over and he was laid to rest, I had a feeling I can’t even describe. It was almost an empty feeling. I knew I had lost someone that could never be replaced.”

Annie never thought that she’d go through a life-changing experience until the sudden death of her father. Her thoughts and feelings are all over the place, and she has many unanswered questions. She says that although she will never wish for anyone to experience the same. However, her father’s passing improved her life in some ways.

Her mother remarried and introduced a new father figure, who was very kind to her. Living with her stepdad allowed her to explore and do things she thought she couldn’t. Annie still mourns the loss of her birth father, but she is also grateful to have a stepdad she can lean on. She gradually accepts that she can’t bring her birth father back.

“This story as a whole has really changed me and made me an even better person in life, I’m so thankful that this happened to me because now I have a greater appreciation for the little things in life.”

The essay shows how a simple interaction on a cold day in December can completely change a person’s view on life. It starts with the writer being asked a small favor of an older man with Alzheimer’s disease to help him find his car. This experience teaches the writer to be more observant and appreciative of the things they have. The author was inspired to spend more time with loved ones, especially their grandfather, who also has Alzheimer’s disease, as they learned never to take anything for granted.

7 Prompts for Essays About Life-changing Experiences

Everyone has their definition of a life-changing experience. But in general, it is an event or series of events profoundly altering a person’s thinking, feelings, and behavior. Use this prompt to explain your understanding of the topic and discuss how a simple action, decision, or encounter can change someone’s life. You might also be interested in these essays about yourself .

For this prompt, choose a specific memory that made you re-evaluate your views, values, and morals. Then, discuss the impact of this event on your life. For example, you can discuss losing a loved one, moving to another country, or starting a new school. Your conclusion must contain the main lessons you learned from the experience and how it can help the readers.

Various positive and negative life-changing experiences happen anytime and anywhere. Sometimes, you don’t notice them until they substantially disturb your everyday life. 

To begin your essay, interview people and ask about a momentous event that happened to them and how it influenced their way of living. Then, pick the most potent life-changing experience shared. Talk about what you’d do if you were in the same situation.

Some life-changing events include common things such as marriage, parenthood, divorce, job loss, and death. Research and discuss the most common experiences that transform a person’s life. Include real-life situations and any personal encounters for an intriguing essay.

It’s normal to meet other people, but connecting with someone who will significantly impact your life is a blessing. Use this prompt to discuss that particular person, such as a parent, close friend, or romantic partner. Share who they are and how you met them, and discuss what they did or said that made a big difference in your life. 

Movies like “The Truman Show” help change your viewpoint in life. They open our minds and provide ideas for dealing with our struggles. Share how you reached an epiphany by reading a book or watching a movie. Include if it’s because of a particular dialogue, character action, or scenes you can relate to.

While others use inspirational quotes for comfort and to avoid negative thinking, some find a quote that gives them the courage to make drastic changes to better their lives. For this prompt, search for well-known personalities who discovered a quote that motivated them to turn their life around.  Essay Tip: When editing for grammar, we also recommend spending time and effort to improve the readability score of your essay before publishing or submitting it.

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An Experience That Changed My Life Essay | Life Changing Experiences, Long and Short Essays on Life Changing Experiences

October 1, 2021 by Prasanna

Experience That Changed My Life Essay: It is rightly said that ‘Experience is the best teacher.’ Experience teaches a lot more things. Life gives you many experiences and certain experiences in your life can impact you a lot. In life we all have faced some or the other experience that has changed the way we perceive things. Through these life lessons we can learn a lot about ourselves and how strong we can be in difficult situations and circumstances.

You can also find more  Essay Writing  articles on events, persons, sports, technology and many more.

Long Essay on Experience that Changed My Life 500 Words in English

Sometimes things are out of our control and we can’t do anything about it. Experiences can be good and sometimes terrible that results in a positive or negative impact on one’s life. Life is full of many unexpected challenges and unknown turning points that will come along any time. People must learn and grow from every experience that they go through in life rather than losing yourself. Change is a part of life. Life gives many experiences almost every day.

An experience that changed my life was on 21st August 2004. One of my biggest life changing experiences was the time when I lost my father suddenly. Till that very day I was a very immature and jolly person. I don’t know what the worries were. I was the eldest one in my family. But as we lost the head of our family life took a new turning point in my life I had to take charge of all the decisions made which I had never done before. My mother was not in a state to understand anything. I started making big decisions even about finances, about our house and many more.

When my father died, my life had changed completely. I lost him in my own lap. He took his last breath and it was very heartbreaking. Accepting his loss was one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to do. It was very hard because it was unpredictable. I let all my emotions out, because I had to remember to take care of myself and my family too. Now it was the time for me to be more responsible.

His death made me an introvert, more responsible, think for myself and my family, and see things differently. Now that he is gone, I have to take charge of many things. My father was my counselor, my friend, my guidance, and most of all my motivator. I feel completely lonely without him.

I also experienced how people were falsely claiming that he is a family member of theirs and they will take care of me and my family, but two weeks after the cremation they were the same as before with no sympathy. I finally got a glimpse of the real world who are my real well wishers and who are not. Looking back at all of this I realized how important my father was to me. Now I am a more focused and responsible person. I still feel my father lives through me. Even though my father is gone he still guides me at each and every point of life. His death made me an introvert, think for myself and my family, and live life practically. I wish I could thank him for making me a better person. It was his inspirations which made me handle things in a proper way.

Short Essay on Experience that Changed My Life

According to me, experiences are very important to forge our personality over time. From very childhood I grew up in a nurturing and loving environment where I always felt safe and loved. My parents always made me feel important. I was a stubborn child. I used to throw tantrums if things didn’t go my way. I was a very demanding child as well, though my mother loved me unconditionally. My mother was very patient and compassionate and used to explain things so well to make me understand why things couldn’t always be how I wanted them to be. But as a child I never wanted to understand her preachings. But then once on a school trip to an orphanage totally changed my view towards life.

Orphanage is the place where the orphans (children who are homeless having no parents) are taken care of.

Once when I was in Grade 4 our school planned an educational trip to an orphanage institute.We were asked to bring whatever we wanted to donate. My mother gave me some of my old toys, clothes and some sweets. We collected a good amount of material to distribute.

As we entered the orphanage all the kids gathered in a hall. There were children of all ages. They strayed at us with eyes full of hope. We were asked to distribute the things and spent some time with them. They were so excited to receive these old things. In conversation with them we came to know that they have only two to three dresses to wear. One plate and a bowl for their food. Even the food served to them was always the same and limited. They don’t have many varieties of food to eat. They have toys in common to play with. These children don’t know the meaning of love, care and affection. They cannot demand for anything. The plight of every child was so miserable.I realised all my mistakes. I realised fortunate I am to receive all the luxury.

I never liked it when my parents reprimanded me for not studying properly, when I made blunders, when I didn’t listen to them but there was a concern behind every word that they said. They took care of me at every juncture of my lives no matter what their condition.

But I felt so sorry for these children because they are lacking all those words of care, anger, and love.

Visiting the orphanage is a life changing experience for me. From that day I started appreciating the little things in life. I never demanded for unexpected things. I feel like helping every needy person.

I also started understanding my mother’s preachings and with her help, over time, I learned how to deal with my emotions and situations and these experiences shaped my behavior and personality.

I feel extremely fortunate that I have parents with me and they provide me all the luxury. I am thankful to them.

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Ideas for an Experience That Changed My Life Essay

By: Henrique Bertulino

A college essay provides you with a unique opportunity to reveal your personality creatively. For example, professors may ask you to describe an experience that changed my life essay. What an exciting topic!

Pick an Interesting and Unique Personal Experience

Create an introduction to hook the reader, paint a vivid picture, write a powerful conclusion, sample essay: my experience that changed my life, introduction, how to finalize an essay about a life-changing event.

However, to complete this academic assignment successfully, you must not only share a significant life experience but also ensure your essay is well-structured, interesting, easy to follow, and submitted on time. Read ahead for all the essential tips on writing a captivating essay about a good or bad experience that changed your life.

Steps for Writing a Memorable Essay About a Life-Changing Experience

The good news is that this essay topic gives you the freedom to write about anything you want. The main challenge is to ensure that it reveals your character's unique and strong sides and proves your ability to write and think critically about yourself. Here are some essential tips to get you started on writing a great essay:

Choosing a good topic is the first step to write high-quality and impressive research papers. It would help if you wrote about something that interests you instead of picking a theme that your readers would supposedly like to hear. After all, only your passion for the chosen topic can make the audience care about the experience you are describing. Here are some examples:

• The first time traveling abroad
• The day you visited an elderly home
• A successful internship you've completed
• Your move from one city/country to another
• A meeting with your idol
• A certain experience in high school

Ensure that your essay introduction can interest the readers and make them care about a particular life experience and its outcomes. For example, you can start your academic paper with memorable details from the experience climax and then go back to it chronologically in the main body. This way, the readers will want to read your essay to the last word.

Once you start writing the main body paragraphs, your goal is to hold the readers' attention. That is when adding some details comes in handy. They can be your most effective tool to convey the importance of an event and describe your emotions. For this section, you will need to use adjectives, as they are the means to create a memorable description. Here is a list of useful adjectives you may consider including when describing a situation:

This element is crucial for any personal descriptive essay because it's all about your reflection on how a certain life experience changed you. A strong conclusion helps to set your academic assignment from the others. You can include the development of your character traits, such as compassion, leadership, and maturity. In other words, mention what makes the event you've experienced life-changing for you.

To get a better understanding of what it takes to write a great essay, let's take a look at a sample text provided by Dave, a college freshman:

An experience that changed my life is the COVID-19 pandemic. This event has happened unexpectedly and managed to affect the whole world, myself being no exception.

The coronavirus has taken many lives while forcing countries to go on lockdown and introduce a variety of preventive measures against contamination. Even though I was lucky enough not to lose any loved ones to the virus, living in New York has given me a taste of the massive changes caused by the COVID infection.

As a freshman year college student, I was expecting to have a lot of fun. However, instead of parties and social gatherings, my group mates and I have faced distance learning and strict lockdown measures. Yet, the first-year college students agreed to arrange a zoom call to get to know each other, and I have already managed to make some friends! Meeting them in person, as the lockdown measures softened, was a one-of-a-kind experience. Besides, I had more time to spend with my family members!

Studying online is also not easy. I feel like distance learning puts a lot more responsibility on the students' shoulders, requiring more motivation and self-discipline. After several tries, I have managed to come up with a strategy that allows me to be productive.

The lockdown also made me pay attention to those in need. Somehow, before the pandemic, I was rather numb to the issues going on in real life in the other parts of the world and even in my own country. However, nowadays, one of my strongest desires is to contribute to charitable organizations and become a volunteer for a cause I believe in whenever the situation allows.

The COVID-19 pandemic has affected my lifestyle a lot. As an extrovert, I found self-isolation extremely challenging. However, the global situation has taught me that being flexible and knowing how to adapt is a crucial quality in today's world. I have become more empathic and have found a calling for improving the world. All these factors make the pandemic a truly life-changing experience for me.

The Strong and Weak Points of the Sample Essay

Dave's essay is a typical example of a college student's essay. But, even though the text is not bad, it isn't likely to receive the grade Dave's hoping for. However, this written work can be improved in a few simple steps.

But first, let's highlight the positive aspects of Dave's essay:

• a powerful topic that is captivating and relatable
• the presence of self-analysis
• the description of qualities developed and improved throughout the experience

The elements that need to be improved include:

The introduction of Dave's essay doesn't make his work stand out, even though he selected a fascinating topic. Besides, it is too short and doesn't provide enough information to make the reader relate to the author. An improved version of the introduction could look like this:

My life-changing experience started in November 2019 and is still taking place. It is an event that affected not only me but also you, your neighbors, and even the people living on the other side of the ocean - nearly every person's life. Today, I will be giving you an insight into how the COVID-19 pandemic has turned my worldview upside-down.

Would you be interested in finding out what happened to the author? That's the power of a well-written introduction in action!

Dave does a great job describing his experience, using adjectives, and assessing the situation from different perspectives. However, the main body of his essay is not specific enough. Some examples of this issue are:

• "Meeting them in person ... was a one-of-a-kind experience."
• "After several tries, I have managed to come up with a strategy."
• "Become a volunteer for a cause I believe in."

These are all awesome pieces of information. However, they do not reveal the details. How did the meet-up with the group mates go? What is Dave's strategy for productivity? What is the cause he believes in? All this information would help the reader connect with the author and relate to their experience. Here is one example of a concise experience description:

Seeing how vulnerable elderly people are in the face of the pandemic, I have realized that I have never been sensitive enough when it comes to the older generation. I got inspired by the idea of volunteering in old people's homes whenever I get a chance to do so. This idea is dear to my heart and makes me believe I can become a better person and make a difference in the world by helping those in need.

Such a paragraph reveals what kind of person Dave is, what he has learned, and describes his future plans, making his written work stand out.

The conclusion written by Dave is good. However, to make it even more masterful, it would be great to include a memorable element, such as this sentence:

I am a believer that light can be found even in the darkest times - we just have to keep our eyes wide open.

It is a beautiful metaphor that is relevant to the topic and demonstrates the author's poetic side.

Personal experiences are perfect for academic writing, but choosing the right one and adding emotional honesty can be out of the comfort zone for many students. You need to brainstorm possible ideas and reflect on an important life experience to impress readers.

Don't forget to check the grammar and proofread your essay to find and fix all minor and major mistakes. If you have any difficulties, think about entrusting this task to a qualified and reputable writing service , such as Studybay!

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this was interesting

I'm hopeful and interested to learn to write essays

Jhaywhale Jones

I basically came online to find information on how to write about 'events that changed your life.' Yes, it is an assignment. After reading this, I have many ideas and much more information on how to direct the story's narrative.

Essays are usually very complex, and they don't come easy to me. So, I find it pretty confusing to describe any event that may have changed my life. I already have issues talking about something like that. However, I do look forward to improving my writing skills.

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The 11 Best Pieces of Advice I’ve Ever Received

Chris Rackliffe

14 Min Read

I can still hear my dad’s voice reverberating across the dinner table.

“Nothing in life is free, Son,” he said, passing down some of his own hard-won wisdom to me. “But if you put your mind to something, work hard and do your due diligence, you will certainly succeed in tackling whatever challenges come your way.”

“I know, Dad,” I said, continuing with an earnest question. “But what happens then?”

“You appreciate how far you’ve come,” he said, before emphasizing. “ And then you keep going. ”

It was some of the best advice I’ve ever received in my entire life.

His words of wisdom echoed in my mind throughout the formative years of my 20s. They rang true when I moved to New York in the middle of the Great Recession and struggled to find gainful employment. I was reminded to just keep going even when it feels impossible. They proved useful as I eventually landed on my feet, built my career and climbed the corporate ladder . I was shown that the more I gave, the more trickled back my way as well. But they were also helpful in my personal relationships, reinforcing the idea that I needed to invest in the connections that mattered to me. The more I cared for what was close to my heart, the more supported and fulfilled I felt.

That’s what great advice does: It lifts you up and helps you unlock levels of your heart and your mind you never knew were there. It helps you show up more fully for yourself and others. It helps you claim your life as your own. But the best advice goes further. It is essential. It is universal. It is truth wrapped in carefully-chosen words. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from or what you’ve been through, the best advice removes labels and boundaries, traverses space and time and cuts through skin and bone to reach the heart of hearts buried within all of us. 

During these challenging and uncertain times, essential wisdom and excellent advice help us find perspective, shift focus and stay grounded. They show us what really matters. They restore us to right-minded thinking and wholehearted living—and break us out of our fog of fear. Right when we need it most.

That’s why I’ve assembled the list of advice below. May these truths be the light that call you through the mists of fear. May they see you safely back to shore. May they comfort you and remind you of what’s important. Every single time you forget.

The 11 Best Pieces of Advice I’ve Ever Received

1. your life is your responsibility..

Please read this carefully, taking in each and every word: There is one person and one person alone over whom you have control in this life—and that is yourself. Since you are the only person you can control, you are the only person who can take responsibility for your life. That includes your energy, your happiness, your fulfillment, your career, your choices and more. You are responsible for you and you alone. You are not responsible for anyone else. How could you be? It is their responsibility to take care of themselves. Yes, you can and should support someone in making good choices, building a life that makes them happy, and taking care of themselves. In fact, taking responsibility for your own well-being is precisely how we are better able to be present for those around us. Just remember: Support and responsibility are two extremely different approaches. You take responsibility for yourself. You support other people. Do your best not to reverse or mix up the two.

Your responsibility for your life unfolds in the present moment. Not in some bygone era. Not in some future left untold. Not when you graduate. Not when you feel like it. Not when you reach a certain age or make a certain amount of money. Right. Now. 

This is not something to take lightly. It’s also not something about which to fret. This is a blessing. You get to be accountable for yourself. What a tremendous gift it is to be able to shape, craft, build, mold, and create your life! It is a privilege to have this responsibility. But it’s only when we recognize it’s ours and ours alone that we can actually seize our power.

So, take responsibility for how you show up in the world. Honor the gift of life by exercising your right to consciously choose. Again and again and again. Dignify yourself by taking responsibility for your own well-being. It is yours to claim.

Do not burden yourself by taking on responsibilities that are not yours. Focus on being responsible for yourself first. As you own this sacred duty, you will discover parts within you that you may have forgotten were there. This is how we rediscover ourselves. This is how we’re better able to show up for others. Giving to yourself is how you learn to give to others. Listen to yourself so you can better lend an ear to others. Be present with your emotions so you can better be present for the emotions of others. Put on your own metaphorical oxygen mask so you can better assist others with theirs. When you take care of Numero Uno, you’re better equipped to take care of everything and everyone else, too.

The responsibility is yours.

2. The way someone treats you is a reflection of how they feel about themselves.

That cross look? Not about you. That snide comment? Not about you. That temper tantrum? Not about you. The way a person behaves indicates where they’re at physically, mentally, and spiritually. Try not to take things personally. They probably have nothing to do with you. Learn to see someone’s behavior through the lens of love. If they’re acting out, that probably means they’re in desperate need of a love tank fill-up.

Do not react when someone acts out. Ask her if she’s okay. Inquire about what’s going on in his life. Remain open and curious and compassionate. You know that’s exactly what you’ll want when your cup of love runs low, too. And you know it eventually will.

3. Life is all about managing expectations—most of all your own. 

The world will expect many things from you. And you will expect many things in return. The key is to manage its expectations of you—and yours of it. Going through life trying to live up to someone else’s expectations of you is how you end up disappointing both of you in the process. Conversely, trying to force the world to meet your expectations is like trying to make Niagara Falls flow backwards. It just doesn’t work that way.

There is another way, and it’s through finding harmony between your expectations and reality. According to Manel Baucells and Rakesh Sarin, authors of Engineering Happiness: A New Approach for Building a Joyful Life , there is even a formula for happiness that takes into account this harmony. The formula is as follows: Happiness equals reality minus shifting expectations . Thus, you’ll be happy as long your shifting expectations are lower than reality.

When you feel your energy or happiness slipping, focus on softening your expectations a bit. You’ll be better off not just in the moment but in the long run, too.

4. When you know better, do better.

Maya Angelou once said , “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Frequently cited by Oprah as some of the best advice she’s ever received, this quote serves as a reminder of a simple truth: We’re all figuring out this thing called life as we grow through it. We’re all doing the best we can based on the information and resources we have at our disposal. But some things are simply better learned through experience.

Do your best. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes . You will do better when you know how. And you often only find out when you get there.

5. Your word is your bond.

In the second film installment of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows , Dumbledore imparts some wisdom to Harry , saying, “Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it.”

J.K. Rowling penned those words. And both she and Dumbledore are right: Our words can hurt or they can heal. Our words can lift someone up or break them down. Our words can bring us together or tear us apart. Remember this power before you speak. Be intentional with what you say. Then, back it up with action. Keep your word. Follow through. Be reliable. It’s how you earn respect. It’s how you build integrity. It’s how you form formidable bonds.

The words you speak show your heart, your mind, your soul. Make sure what comes out of your mouth is an accurate reflection of what’s truest about you in those areas. Always.

6. Work hard. Stay humble.

Success is a beautiful thing. But unbridled by humility, it can also be an ugly, selfish, all-consuming endeavor. Here are some important reminders to stay humble as you progress on your path:

Never forget your roots. 

Never forget the sacrifices others made on your behalf. 

Never forget how hard you worked to get where you are today.

Never forget to say thank you.

Never forget that everything comes at a price.

Never forget to stop and appreciate how far you’ve come.

Never forget that who you are is so much greater than what you do.

Never forget to pay it forward.

Never forget that it’s not always about you.

Remember these and you will be golden.

Want even more wisdom on how to live a better life? Check out my new eBook, 70 Life Lessons I Wish I’d Learned Sooner !

7. Just keep going. No matter what.

You might lack skill, you might lack hope, you might lack money—honestly, most people, at one point or another, have lacked these seemingly important endowments. But if you have grit, determination and persistence, you will always make it through to brighter days because you can outlast the days that make you want to give up. If you learn to become comfortable with the discomfort of rejection, uncertainty and obscurity, you will forever persevere to claim the moments of joy and accomplishment you seek. It won’t always look how you imagined because life is rarely predictable, but it will feel familiar, it will feel right, it will feel like home.

All you have to do is keep going. No matter what.

8. Release the idea that things could’ve been any other way.

There is no point in wondering what if . There is no point in pondering what could’ve been . There is no point in believing in what should’ve been . There is only the way things actually are . The rest is all made up in your mind. Truth is, it’s useless to try to make sense of the past. The past only exists as a memory—a recollection kept alive by your belief in its importance. Like using an abstract painting to interpret reality, your mind misconstrues what happened to fit your prior experience and to favor your future expectations. The future is similarly a figment of your imagination. It does not yet exist. Thus, the only thing that matters—the only moment of any significance—is this one right now.

Life could’ve played out in a million different ways. But it didn’t. And now you are here. It might be painful. It might be uncomfortable. It might be frustrating. But it is the way it is nonetheless. The sooner you come to terms with this fact, the sooner you can go about living a peaceful, surrendered life. Would you rather torture yourself with scenarios that never played out or would you rather be at peace? Either way, you get to decide.

9. Listen more than you speak.

You were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. Perhaps it’s because you were meant to spend more time listening than speaking.

As humans, one of our basic needs is to feel heard, seen and understood. When you honor someone else with your undivided attention, you help assuage their anxiety, wash away their worry and find clarity in the chaos. Because you’re showing them that, despite how bad things might seem, they’re not alone. 

Listen intently. Don’t just hear the words and syllables—listen so you can understand and relate. Listen to learn. Open your mind up to comprehend what’s happening in the world around you and within you. Listen to empathize. Open your heart up to imagine what someone else is going through.

Sometimes, we just need someone to lend an ear. The more adept you are at doing so, the better. And the more likely you are to get the same in return.

10. Do what you’re afraid to do.

Life can seem downright scary. And for good reason. It’s full of unpleasant, uncomfortable, unimaginable things like death, disease and disruption in many forms. In these moments, it feels so much easier to back down, burrow in and build walls instead of facing reality head-on.

But I’m here to offer up another way of being. Whenever and wherever possible, we should do what scares us instead of backing away from it. It’s hard to have a difficult conversation. But avoiding it only makes the situation worse. It’s scary to be vulnerable and say how you really feel . But it’s how you build authentic relationships. It’s daunting to think about making our dreams a reality. But we’ll never know if we don’t try. Honestly, it’s so much easier to turn a blind eye, ignore our intuition and be afraid of feeling our fear. But that’s not the point of life.

We are here to learn and grow. We are here to be present in the now. We are here to love. And we do those things not by seeing our darkness and shying away, but by seeking out and owning our light and showing up anyway. Any other focus is simply missing the point.

So, the next time you want to cower, avoid, deny or look the other way, do the opposite instead. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Always do what you are afraid to do.” Paradoxically, the more we face what we perceive to be scary, the less scary it becomes because we learn that the fear was only ever in our minds. All we had to do was just feel it.

This is how we live lives that are fulfilling. We choose to feel our fear instead of fearing it. And then we live to find out what’s on the other side.

11. Be kind. Always.

You never know what someone else is going through. Be gentle. Have compassion. Default to empathy. If you can’t find any love in a situation, it’s a signal to be the love the situation desperately needs. As humans, kindness is a nutrient for the heart. Love is the purest expression of this kindness. When all else fails, sprinkle a little love on it. You just might be surprised at how well it heals what appears broken. Especially when it’s turned inward.

What are some of the best pieces of advice you’ve ever read or received? Tell me in the comments below—or tweet me @crackliffe !

My favorite essays of life advice

I start each of my weekly reviews by re-reading one of my favorite essays of life advice—a different one each week. It’s useful for a few different reasons:

It helps me get into the right reflective frame of mind.

The best essays are dense enough with useful advice that I find new interesting bits every time I read them.

Much good advice is easy to understand, but hard to implement . So to get the most benefit from it, you should find whatever version of it most resonates you and then re-read it frequently to keep yourself on track.

I’ve collected my favorite essays for re-reading below. I’ll keep this updated as I find more great essays, and I’d welcome other contributions—please suggest your own favorites in the comments!

There's a lot of essays here! If you'd like, I can email you one essay every weekend, so you can read it before your weekly review:

Paul Graham, Life is Short . Inspire yourself never to waste time on bullshit again:

Having kids showed me how to convert a continuous quantity, time, into discrete quantities. You only get 52 weekends with your 2 year old. If Christmas-as-magic lasts from say ages 3 to 10, you only get to watch your child experience it 8 times. And while it’s impossible to say what is a lot or a little of a continuous quantity like time, 8 is not a lot of something. If you had a handful of 8 peanuts, or a shelf of 8 books to choose from, the quantity would definitely seem limited, no matter what your lifespan was. Ok, so life actually is short. Does it make any difference to know that? It has for me. It means arguments of the form “Life is too short for x” have great force. It’s not just a figure of speech to say that life is too short for something. It’s not just a synonym for annoying. If you find yourself thinking that life is too short for something, you should try to eliminate it if you can. When I ask myself what I’ve found life is too short for, the word that pops into my head is “bullshit.” I realize that answer is somewhat tautological. It’s almost the definition of bullshit that it’s the stuff that life is too short for. And yet bullshit does have a distinctive character. There’s something fake about it. It’s the junk food of experience. [1] If you ask yourself what you spend your time on that’s bullshit, you probably already know the answer. Unnecessary meetings, pointless disputes, bureaucracy, posturing, dealing with other people’s mistakes, traffic jams, addictive but unrewarding pastimes.

I’ve found that unless I’m vigilant, the amount of bullshit in my life only ever increases. Rereading Life is Short every so often gives me a kick in the pants to figure out what really matters and how to get the bullshit levels back down.

Derek Sivers, There is no speed limit , in which he learns a semester’s worth of music theory in an afternoon:

Within a minute, he started quizzing me. “If the 5-chord with the flat-7 has that tri-tone, then so does another flat-7 chord. Which one?” “Uh… the flat-2 chord?” “Right! So that’s a substitute chord. Any flat-7 chord can be substituted with the other flat-7 that shares the same tri-tone. So reharmonize all the chords you can in this chart. Go.” The pace was intense, and I loved it. Finally, someone was challenging me — keeping me in over my head — encouraging and expecting me to pull myself up quickly. I was learning so fast, it felt like the adrenaline rush you get while playing a video game. He tossed every fact at me and made me prove that I got it. In our three-hour lesson that morning, he taught me a full semester of Berklee’s harmony courses.

This was one of the major inspirations for Be impatient . Every time I reread it, I think of at least one thing where I’m setting myself a speed limit for no reason!

Sam Altman, How To Be Successful . Sam might have observed more successful people more closely than anyone else on the planet, and the advice is as good as you’d expect.

Focus is a force multiplier on work. Almost everyone I’ve ever met would be well-served by spending more time thinking about what to focus on. It is much more important to work on the right thing than it is to work many hours. Most people waste most of their time on stuff that doesn’t matter. Once you have figured out what to do, be unstoppable about getting your small handful of priorities accomplished quickly. I have yet to meet a slow-moving person who is very successful.

Almost always, the people who say “I am going to keep going until this works, and no matter what the challenges are I’m going to figure them out”, and mean it, go on to succeed. They are persistent long enough to give themselves a chance for luck to go their way. … To be willful, you have to be optimistic—hopefully this is a personality trait that can be improved with practice. I have never met a very successful pessimistic person.

There are lots of different points here, so this one especially bears rereading!

R. W. Hamming, You and your research . Hamming observed almost as many great scientists as Sam Altman did founders. He had some interesting conclusions:

At first I asked what were the important problems in chemistry, then what important problems they were working on, or problems that might lead to important results. One day I asked, “if what they were working on was not important, and was not likely to lead to important things, they why were they working on them?” After that I had to eat with the engineers! About four months later, my friend stopped me in the hall and remarked that my question had bothered him. He had spent the summer thinking about the important problems in his area, and while had had not changed his research he thought it was well worth the effort. I thanked him and kept walking. A few weeks later I noticed that he was made head of the department. Many years later he became a member of the National Academy of Engineering. The one person who could hear the question went on to do important things and all the others—so far as I know—did not do anything worth public attention. … Some people work with their doors open in clear view of those who pass by, while others carefully protect themselves from interruptions. Those with the door open get less work done each day, but those with their door closed tend not know what to work on, nor are they apt to hear the clues to the missing piece to one of their “list” problems. I cannot prove that the open door produces the open mind, or the other way around. I only can observe the correlation. I suspect that each reinforces the other, that an open door will more likely lead you and important problems than will a closed door.

There is another trait that took me many years to notice, and that is the ability to tolerate ambiguity. Most people want to believe what they learn is the truth: there are a few people who doubt everything. If you believe too much then you are not likely to find the essentially new view that transforms a field, and if you doubt too much you will not be able to do much at all. It is a fine balance between believing what you learn and at the same time doubting things. Great steps forward usually involve a change of viewpoint to outside the standard ones in the field. While you are leaning things you need to think about them and examine them from many sides. By connecting them in many ways with what you already know…. you can later retrieve them in unusual situations. It took me a long time to realize that each time I learned something I should put “hooks” on it. This is another face of the extra effort, the studying more deeply, the going the extra mile, that seems to be characteristic of great scientists.

Hamming is an unusual combination of (a) a great scientist himself, (b) curious and thoughtful about what makes others great, and (c) honest and open about his observations (it seems).

Anonymous, Becoming a Magician —on how to become a person that your current self would perceive as magical:

The description was about five or six handwritten pages long, and at the time, it was a manifestation of desperate longing to be somewhere other than where I was, someone who felt free and cared for. At the time I saw that description as basically an impossibility; my life could never be so amazing in reality. Fast forward about seven or ten years and I rediscovered the description when I was moving old notebooks and journals from one dusty storage spot to another. As I read through it, I discovered that 90% of the statements I had made in that description were true (or true in spirit). … It was incredible to me, despite all the changes that had happened in my life since when I wrote the passage, that I had basically become the person whose life I had dreamed of living as a teenager. That’s pretty fucking cool.

And then came Sanatan Dinda. An Indian visual artist from Kolkata, he didn’t even make the finals the first year he competed, and the next year he placed second with a style that broke half a dozen of the implicit rules of ‘good artwork’ at the competition. … [T]he third year he came he won the entire competition by something like ten percent of the total awarded points over the next artist in second place. … The thing that confused me though was this – I could not work out how he did it. Like, I had zero mental model of how he created that piece in the same timeframe we all had; how he came up with it, designed it, practiced it. Even though he placed first and I placed fifth and logically we both existed on a scale of ‘competence at bodypainting’ it seemed like the skills required were completely different.

The exercise they suggest is a really useful activity for weekly (or monthly or yearly) reviews. Highly recommended!

Dan Luu, 95th percentile isn’t that good . Great for cultivating self-improvement mindset by reminding you how easy (in some sense) it is to make huge improvements at something:

Reaching 95%-ile isn’t very impressive because it’s not that hard to do. I think this is one of my most ridiculable ideas. It doesn’t help that, when stated nakedly, that sounds elitist. But I think it’s just the opposite: most people can become (relatively) good at most things. Note that when I say 95%-ile, I mean 95%-ile among people who participate, not all people (for many activities, just doing it at all makes you 99%-ile or above across all people). I’m also not referring to 95%-ile among people who practice regularly. The “one weird trick” is that, for a lot of activities, being something like 10%-ile among people who practice can make you something like 90%-ile or 99%-ile among people who participate.

It’s not weekly review material, but I also appreciate the bonus section on Dan’s other most ridiculable ideas.

Nate Soares, Rest in Motion :

Many people seem to think the ‘good’ state of being, the ‘ground’ state, is a relaxed state, a state with lots of rest and very little action. Because they think the ground state is the relaxed state, they act like maintaining any other state requires effort, requires suffering. This is a failure mode that I used to fall into pretty regularly. I would model my work as a finite stream of tasks that needed doing. I’d think “once I’ve done the laundry and bought new shoes and finished the grocery shopping and fixed the bugs in my code and finished the big refactor, everything will be in order, and I’ll be able to rest.” And in that state of mind, every new email that hit my inbox, every new bug discovered in my code, every tool of mine that wore down and needed repair, would deal me damage. I was modeling my work as finite, with the rest state being the state where all tasks were completed, and so every new task would push me further from that precious rest state and wear me down. But the work that needs to be done is not a finite list of tasks, it is a neverending stream. Clothes are always getting worn down, food is always getting eaten, code is always in motion. The goal is not to finish all the work before you; for that is impossible. The goal is simply to move through the work. Instead of struggling to reach the end of the stream, simply focus on moving along it.

A really helpful reminder of the right way to think about time management!

Again, to get one of these every weekend, sign up here:

And suggest your own favorite life advice essays in the comments!

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Why and how to write things on the Internet

Staring into the abyss as a core life skill, be less scared of overconfidence.

format comments in markdown .

Great list, you included some of my favorites and some I didn’t know about but have now read and will return to. A few books I’ve reread parts/all of to help me think about improving are The score takes care of itself (details on practices/mindsets that led to football success) and Peak (details of deliberate practice).

Violence and the Sacred: College as an incubator of Girardian terror —Because I’m in college, to not compete in meaningless ways

Hume the humane —To be inspired by Hume, who wrote the Treatise by 26 and was still a pretty happy philosopher

The Mundanity of Excellence (a paper but as readable as an essay) , The String Theory —Excellence isn’t special just hard

Even if you beat me —By Sally Rooney, on her college debate career— this especially stood out to me because I do college debate, and I’m still not sure what I’m supposed to get out of this essay. On one hand it makes me more competitive and want to work harder and win more, on the other hand it makes me want to quit and take a larger perspective. I think the point is that I don’t know which is correct.

What Does Any of This Have To Do with Physics? , That Eternal Question , Stargazing Before the Apocalypse —These three the same, to remind me not to chase things because they’re hard, like you’ve said before; there are things that matter more

Even artichokes have doubts —Don’t sell out when getting a job

Here is a fave life advice essay from Shane Parrish via Gallwey. I use the inner Game analogy particularly in narrative painting but it works with anything. Self 2 knows.

https://fs.blog/2020/01/inner-game-of-tennis/

Wow, these were some great suggestions and I had not heard of most of them before (only had seen the PG and Sam Altman essays before, essays that I keep bookmarked and make sure to frequent).

Here’s are some interesting life advice essays I’ve come across:

• https://www.spakhm.com/p/productivity-advice
• https://keaganstokoe.wixsite.com/website-2/post/13-ways-to-live-a-life-of-purpose-in-your-20-s
• http://paulgraham.com/hs.html
• https://kk.org/thetechnium/you-are-not-late/

Do the work. A simple sentiment that can move mountains when internalized.

Thanks for this blog and this post. I’ve been a reader of it for some time now. Fifteen years ago or so a friend sent me the following article and I turn to it every year. I don’t think it’s quite in line with the rest of the articles here - more philosophical and perhaps less practical - but I felt inspired to share it nevertheless. Perhaps you will like it.

https://freedomcenter.arizona.edu/sites/freedomcenter.arizona.edu/files/Meaning%202015.pdf

Kind regards and happy new year.

Here is a new article that I fits the genre: https://www.calnewport.com/blog/2021/04/30/favorable-conditions-never-come/

Cal Newport beautifully revisits the old idea of finding time for the important / not-urgent work.

Has the newsletter stopped?

It sends you one of these essays each week and stops after the last one, so 6 weeks after you sign up!

My apologies. I missed the “I’ll keep this updated as I find more great essays” part. Looking forward to receiving a new one!

Solid recommendations. Here’s mine: Play in Hard Mode . I also read my full list of favorite essays once a month and reflect on them. Definitely a useful habit!

Super valuable!!!

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The Best Advice I've Ever Received

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