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How to Describe a Dead Body in a Story

By A.W. Naves

Are you writing a murder scene in your novel? We want to help. We’ve included some words you can use below. Continue reading to find out how to describe a dead body in a story.

Decomposed, rotten ; in a state of physical breakdown.

“The decayed body had been lying in the basement for weeks before the caretaker discovered it.”

“The smell of the decayed corpse filled the room and wafted down the hallway.”

How it Adds Description

The word “decayed” creates an image that evokes a sense of repulsion in the reader. It highlights the passage of time since death and the natural process of decomposition that followed. The advanced state of decay can introduce plot points related to why the body remained undiscovered for an extended period or show that the death occurred under mysterious circumstances.

2. Mutilated

Disfigured, mangled ; having suffered severe damage.

“The mutilated body of Emily’s former lover was barely recognizable.”

“Sheila screamed as she stumbled upon the mutilated corpse deep in the woods.”

The word “mutilated” suggests that the dead body has been severely damaged or disfigured. It indicates a horrible death that may create a sense of shock, horror, or revulsion in the reader. This might serve as a catalyst for the story’s plot, as it often indicates foul play or an unforeseen external force at work that must be sought out and brought to justice.

3. Desiccated

Dried up, withered ; lacking any signs of moisture.

“The desiccated body was found in the scorching desert, but police had no idea how it had ended up there.”

“The desiccated corpse resembled a mummy from some late-night horror flick.”

The word “desiccated” imbues a dead body with a sense of extreme dryness and deterioration, as if it has been drained of life and moisture for a prolonged period. It can set the scene and signal the passage of time or hint at the cause of death. The discovery of a desiccated body may prompt an investigation, forcing characters to confront dark secrets or sinister powers.

Foul-smelling, rancid ; having a strong, offensive odor.

“The putrid stench led them to the bodies of the missing hikers.”

“Flies swarmed around the putrid corpse as it lay hidden for days among the rows of corn.”

The word “putrid” serves to underscore the vile nature of the corpse’s condition. It paints a clear picture of the nauseating smell, bloated and discolored flesh, and the presence of maggots that often accompany such a scene. This sets an ominous tone for the story, signaling that something sinister or tragic has occurred.

5. Skeletal

Bony, emaciated ; resembling a skeleton due to extreme thinness or absence of flesh.

“The skeletal remains were all that was left of the man policed believed to be Keith Sanderson.”

“The body appeared skeletal as if it had been starved for weeks before succumbing to death.”

The word “skeletal” adds a vivid description of a body that has been stripped down to its very essence. It underscores the finality of death but also hints at a backstory, where the body has lain undiscovered for a long time. This might be a pivotal moment in the story, as it creates a sense of mystery and intrigue regarding how the body died and remained hidden for so long.

Rigid, inflexible ; lacking in free movement.

“Tom’s stiff body showed that rigor mortis had begun but it was a mystery how he died.”

“He tried to move the stiff corpse but couldn’t, so he resorted to dismemberment.”

The word “stiff” conveys the lifeless state of the corpse, emphasizing the rigidity that comes with death. This chilling detail not only sets the scene but also hints at the amount of time since the person’s demise, as rigor mortis has set in. It can aid the plot by introducing a timeline around a death that has occurred, tying it to other elements of the story that have occurred.

Swollen, distended ; abnormally enlarged.

“The bloated body floated in the water among the debris from the crash days before.”

“He was taken aback by the sight of the bloated corpse as it bumped against his fishing boat.”

The word “bloated” implies that the death occurred during a certain timeframe, thus prompting an investigation, or triggering a chain of events that drives the narrative. This single word not only sets the tone for the scene but also paves the way for character reactions, interactions, and subsequent developments, making it a powerful tool in storytelling.

8. Unrecognizable

Indistinguishable, distorted ; impossible to identify or recognize.

“The body was so unrecognizable that they needed dental records to confirm the identity.”

“The unrecognizable corpse made it difficult to determine the cause of death.”

The word “unrecognizable” evokes a sense of horror and mystery for readers. It conveys the extent of the damage or decay inflicted upon the body, often implying a violent or gruesome end. This can further the plot, prompting characters to find out what occurred and consider whether they may also be in danger.

9. Festering

Rotting, putrefying; undergoing decay or decomposition.

“The festering body was a breeding ground for maggots and had begun to attract vultures overhead.”

“He covered his nose as he approached the festering corpse of the body that had remained undiscovered until neighbors complained of the smell.”

The word “festering” enhances the reader’s sensory experience but also effectively communicates the passage of time, suggesting that the body has been left to decay and smell. This level of detail may foreshadow a darker, more sinister turn in the narrative, as the decomposing body may symbolize a metaphorical decay or corruption that permeates the story’s setting or characters.

Pale, ashen ; lacking color or liveliness.

“The pallid body looked lifeless and cold against the gray concrete of the abandoned factory.”

“Her once rosy cheeks were now pallid and sunken in a mask of death.”

The word “pallid” effectively conveys the lifeless appearance of a dead body, providing readers with a vivid mental image. It emphasizes the contrast between the vibrant hues of life and the dull, colorless tones of death. This detail not only enriches the narrative but also serves to heighten the reader’s emotional response to the character’s demise.

How to Write Death Scenes (Ultimate Guide + 21 Examples)

Writing death scenes adds a new meaning to the popular writing phrase, “Kill your darlings.”

Here is how to write death scenes:

Write death scenes by focusing on sensory details, context, and symbolism. Use words like “eternal” or “finality” to set the mood. Incorporate elements like scent, sound, and even texture for added realism. Poetry often allows for greater symbolic exploration while prose offers deeper nuance.

In this guide, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to write death scenes in your stories.

7 Types of Death Scenes

Table of Contents

There are many different types of death scenes you can put in your story.

Each type of death scene serves a unique narrative function and comes with its own set of considerations for how to approach it effectively.

By understanding the different types of death scenes, writers can choose the one that best serves their story’s needs.

Here are 7 popular types of death scenes.

Emotional Death Scene

In an emotional death scene, the focus lies primarily on the inner feelings and psychological impact surrounding the character’s death.

The atmosphere is often heavy, filled with sorrow, love, or even a sense of tragic inevitability.

Characters may have the opportunity to say goodbye, allowing for moments of vulnerability or closure.

Sudden Death Scenes

Sudden death scenes jolt the reader with their abruptness.

There’s little or no time for emotional preparation; the death happens quickly, leaving characters and readers alike to grapple with the aftermath.

In such scenes, the focus is often on the shock and the immediate ripple effects of the death.

Sacrificial Death Scene

In sacrificial death scenes, a character willingly gives up their life for a cause, greater than themselves.

These scenes can be emotionally intense as they often involve a noble or courageous act, defining the character’s legacy.

The focus is on the magnitude of the sacrifice.

Also, its impact on the surviving characters and the narrative as a whole.

Funny Death Scene

Contrary to the generally somber nature of death, funny death scenes aim for humor without making light of the act of dying itself.

These scenes often involve irony, comedic timing, or unexpected outcomes that bring a dark levity to the narrative.

The goal is to provide emotional relief without trivializing the event.

Tragic Death Scene

Tragic death scenes carry an air of inevitability and futility, often resulting from a flaw or decision made by the character.

Such deaths are meant to provoke pity and fear, serving as a cautionary element in the story.

Build a crescendo of events that lead to an inescapable, devastating conclusion.

Heroic Death Scene

Heroic death scenes showcase characters dying in a manner that highlights their bravery, ethics, or special skills.

These deaths often occur during climactic moments, and serve to inspire other characters or resolve a critical plot point.

Heroic deaths linger in the memories of the characters and the readers alike.

Ambiguous Death Scene

Ambiguous death scenes leave room for interpretation, raising questions about whether the character has actually died, how they died, or what the implications are for the story.

This type of death can serve as a complex narrative device.

It leaves characters and readers in a state of uncertainty, which can be either resolved later in the story or left as an enduring mystery.

21 Tips for Describing Death in Writing

Here are 21 tips to guide you through the intricate process of describing death in your writing.

Tip 1: “Soulful Strings” – Create Emotional Resonance

A death scene should be emotionally charged.

Think about how you want the reader to feel and tailor the scene to invoke those emotions.

Whether you aim for sadness, anger, or even relief, the key is to make the scene resonate emotionally with the audience.

Example : Instead of just saying “She cried,” you could describe the scene with more emotional depth: “Tears blurred her vision as she held his lifeless hand, a torrent of emotions washing over her as she remembered their shared laughter, their shared dreams, now shattered.”

Tip 2: “The Echo Chamber” – Show the Ripple Effect

A death isn’t just a singular event; it has ramifications that affect other characters and the plot.

Make sure to highlight how the death alters relationships, prompts action, or deepens themes in your story.

Example : After the protagonist’s mentor dies, you might write: “John picked up the fallen sword, its weight heavier now. Every clang of metal was a reminder, every battle cry an echo of a lesson learned from the man who was no more.”

Tip 3: “Veil of Authenticity” – Be Accurate

If your story involves a death based on specific conditions like an illness or historical event, research is crucial.

Accurate details lend credibility and depth to the scene.

Example : If a character is dying of a specific illness, describe their symptoms and the medical procedures accurately: “The pallor of his skin, the visible jaundice in his eyes, and the constant beeping of the dialysis machine painted a picture more poignant than words could describe.”

Tip 4: “Time Warp” – Consider Pacing

The pacing of a death scene should match its emotional and narrative importance.

A sudden death might happen quickly, while a more emotional or dramatic death could benefit from a slower pace.

Example : For a sudden, unexpected death you might write, “The shot rang out, and Mark fell.” For a slower-paced, emotional death: “As she took her final breaths, each second stretched on, a lifetime of memories flashing before her eyes.”

Tip 5: “Color of Emotion” – Use Symbolism and Metaphor

Symbolism can add layers of meaning to a death scene.

Consider using objects, colors, or settings that have symbolic significance either to the story or the character who is dying.

Example : “As Emily died, the fading sunlight cast long shadows on the walls, mirroring the darkness that slowly enveloped her world.”

Tip 6: “Final Curtain” – Match the Tone with the Story

The tone of the death scene should align with the overall tone of your story.

A gritty crime novel and a whimsical fantasy will have very different kinds of death scenes.

Example : In a dark thriller, you could describe death as, “His last breath was a gasp, a futile grasp for life in a world filled with darkness.” In a comedic setting: “He tripped over a banana peel, plummeted off the cliff, and met his maker in the most absurd way possible.”

Tip 7: “Eclipsing Event” – Make it Unforgettable

A memorable death scene often contains an element that makes it stand out.

It could be a final line, an unexpected twist, or a significant action by the dying character.

Example : “With his last ounce of strength, he pulled the locket from his pocket and placed it in her hand. ‘Never forget,’ he whispered, before succumbing to the darkness.”

Tip 8: “Orchestrated Chaos” – Use Sensory Details

To make a death scene vivid and immediate, use all five senses.

Describe not just what is seen, but also what is heard, smelled, touched, and even tasted.

Example : “ The air smelled of gunpowder and sweat. As he lay dying, the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth, and the distant cries of his comrades sounded like a forlorn farewell.”

Tip 9: “Chiaroscuro” – Play with Light and Darkness

The contrast between light and darkness can provide a dramatic backdrop for a death scene.

Light and darkness can serve as a metaphor for life and death itself.

Example : “As her life ebbed away, the room grew darker, as if each flickering candle knew that its light was no longer needed in a world that would be devoid of her radiance.”

Tip 10: “Language of Loss” – Choose Your Words Carefully

The words you choose can heavily influence how a reader experiences a death scene.

Words with strong connotations can deepen the emotional impact.

Example : Instead of saying, “He stopped breathing,” you might write, “His breath surrendered to the relentless grip of death.”

Tip 11: “The Chain Reaction” – Set Up the Dominoes

A well-crafted death scene often has elements of foreshadowing that make the event feel both surprising and inevitable.

Setting up these “dominoes” can make the actual death more impactful.

Example : If a character has been coughing throughout the story, hinting at a deadly illness, their eventual demise will feel like a tragic but logical conclusion: “He coughed again, each hack more desperate than the last, as if his lungs were pleading for a reprieve he knew would never come.”

Tip 12: “Inner Worlds” – Tap Into Inner Monologue

Incorporating the dying character’s inner thoughts can offer a poignant, intimate perspective on their death.

This works especially well for the main characters or those with whom the reader is emotionally invested.

Example : “Is this it? he wondered, as the edges of his vision began to blur. A lifetime reduced to this singular, fateful moment.”

Tip 13: “Unspoken Words” – Use Dialogue Wisely

Dialogue can be a powerful tool in a death scene, revealing character, emotion, or plot points.

However, it should be used wisely, as overly dramatic or unrealistic dialogue can break the reader’s immersion.

Example : “‘I love you,’ she said, her voice tinged with a sadness that conveyed more than any eloquent farewell could. With those final words, her eyes closed, forever.”

Tip 14: “The Elegy” – Give Time for Reflection

After the death occurs, allow room for the surviving characters—and the reader—to reflect.

This could be a brief moment of silence, a poignant observation, or a memory.

Example : “As they lowered her casket into the ground, Maria remembered the way her grandmother’s eyes had always seemed to sparkle like the ocean on a sunny day. That sparkle was now a legacy, etched in her memory.”

Tip 15: “The Undercurrent” – Use Subtext to Your Advantage

Subtext can add an additional layer of complexity to your death scene.

The unsaid words, hidden motivations, or lingering questions can add depth and richness to the experience.

Sometimes what isn’t said speaks volumes, leaving room for interpretation and drawing the reader further into the emotional fabric of the story.

Example : “He looked into her eyes one final time. Words failed him, but his eyes conveyed a lifetime of love and regret, a silent conversation only they understood.”

Tip 16: “Sound of Silence” – Consider the Role of Absence

Sometimes the most powerful moments in a death scene come from what is left unsaid or undone.

The absence of sound, movement, or even emotional response can be as telling as their presence.

This emptiness can create a haunting atmosphere, adding a layer of complexity to the scene.

Example : “As the life ebbed from his eyes, the room fell eerily silent. Even the clock on the wall seemed to pause, as if paying its respects to the gravity of the moment.”

Tip 17: “Interlude of Reflection” – Insert Moments of Inner Monologue

Providing an inner monologue can serve to deepen the emotional impact of the death scene.

Whether it’s the dying character reflecting on their life or another character grappling with the impending loss, these internal thoughts can serve as an emotional focal point.

Make sure the monologue fits the character and adds something meaningful to the scene.

Example : “In those final moments, Lisa’s mind danced through the years—childhood summers, love’s first kiss, her daughter’s smile—each memory a bittersweet note in the symphony of her life.”

Tip 18: “Fading Echoes” – Use Repetition for Emotional Impact

Repetition of a word, a phrase, or an action can add dramatic weight to a death scene.

This literary device can emphasize the emotional or thematic significance of the moment.

In a way, it acts as a refrain that hammers home the scene’s impact.

Example : “He fell to his knees, repeating her name over and over, as if each utterance could bring her back. ‘Emily, Emily, Emily,’ he whispered into the void.”

Tip 19: “Mosaic of Memories” – Incorporate Flashbacks

Skillfully interwoven flashbacks can enhance the emotional texture of a death scene.

By juxtaposing the past with the present, you can illuminate the significance of the dying character’s life, their relationships, or their dreams.

Flashbacks can serve as a poignant reminder of what is being lost.

Example : “As Anna took her last breaths, her mind transported her back to the day they first met. The sunlight in his hair, the promise in his eyes—gone, but never forgotten.”

Tip 20: “Harmony in Discord” – Use Contrasts to Highlight the Moment

Contrasting elements like joy and sorrow, noise and silence, or life and death can magnify the emotional stakes of your death scene.

By putting two contrasting elements side by side, you create a tension that captures the reader’s attention.

And, at the same time, underscores the tragedy or poignancy of the moment.

Example : “Amidst the joyous laughter and celebration of the festival outside, Mary closed her eyes for the final time, her world dimming as the fireworks burst into the night sky.”

Tip 21: “Ode to the End” – Pay Attention to the Final Sentence

The final sentence of a death scene holds a significant responsibility—it’s the lingering note that stays with the reader as they navigate the aftermath of the character’s demise.

Craft this sentence with care, making sure it encapsulates the emotion, the significance, and the finality of the moment.

Example : “As her heart gave its final beat, the room seemed to exhale with her, releasing a lifetime of love, sorrow, and unspoken dreams into the universe.”

Just when you thought we were done, here are 10 more tips for how to write death scenes:

How to Describe Death in a Poem

Describing death in a poem allows for a condensed but emotionally charged exploration of the subject.

Poetic forms often lend themselves to capturing the essence of death in a manner that’s more focused on emotional and sensory experiences than straightforward narrative.

The use of metaphors, similes, and symbolism can elevate the emotional stakes.

Meanwhile, the poem’s rhythm and meter can mimic the heartbeat or breath of life itself.

Example : “In twilight’s dim I softly tread, My breath a cloud, my heart like lead. The sun retreats, as must I too, Into night’s arms, where dreams are few.”

How to Describe a Dead Person in Writing

The description of a deceased character can set the mood and offer a poignant moment for both the characters and the readers.

Details such as facial expression, position, and surrounding scenery should be considered.

You may want to highlight whether they look peaceful or tormented, how their clothes lay, or even the color of their skin and the temperature of their body.

These details contribute to a vivid and respectful rendering of death.

Example : “Her face was a waxen moon in the dim light, eyes closed in eternal contemplation. Her once vibrant auburn hair lay flat, framing her face like a fading halo on a long-forgotten saint.”

How to Describe the Stages of Death in Writing

Describing the stages of death can add a layer of realism and gravitas to your narrative.

It’s crucial to handle this with care and sensitivity, keeping in mind that different cultures and individuals have their own perceptions and experiences of death.

The physical stages—such as pallor mortis, algor mortis, and rigor mortis—can be depicted to show the inexorable progression of death.

The emotional and spiritual stages can illuminate the internal experiences of the dying or those left behind.

Example : “As the minutes ticked by, John’s skin turned an ashy gray, the warmth retreating from his limbs like a fading summer. His breathing grew shallow, a slow rattle that signaled his spirit’s negotiation between two realms.”

How to Describe the Scent of Death

The scent of death can be an unsettling but powerful detail in your writing.

This sensory element immerses your reader into the scene and underlines the finality and biological aspects of death.

Depending on the circumstances, the smell could range from the antiseptic scent of a hospital room to the sickly-sweet smell of decay.

Injecting this olfactory detail can provide a visceral realism to your death scene.

Example : “The air was thick with a cloying, metallic odor, a mixture of fresh blood and the acrid tang of decay. It hung around them like an unspoken truth, inescapable and deeply human.”

How to Describe the Death Rattle in Writing

The death rattle is a specific respiratory sound that can occur shortly before or during death.

It’s a haunting, unforgettable auditory detail that can add a layer of stark realism to your scene.

The sound can serve as a countdown of sorts, each raspy breath a solemn drumbeat leading toward the end.

But tread carefully—while it adds to the sensory experience, it can be unsettling for some readers.

Example : “Each breath he took sounded like a distant thunderstorm, a low, guttural rattle that seemed to echo the turmoil within his failing body. It was a sound both alien and profoundly sad, a final refrain in the symphony of his life.”

30 Best Words to Describe Death in Writing

Selecting the right words can make a significant difference in conveying the tone, emotion, and atmosphere of a death scene.

Choose words that resonate with the mood you want to create, whether it’s peaceful, tragic, horrifying, or uplifting.

Here are some of the best words for death scenes:

30 Best Phrases to Describe Death in Writing

Just as single words can be powerful, phrases can deepen the emotional and thematic resonance of your death scene.

Phrases offer the chance to capture more nuanced feelings or reactions surrounding death, adding a lyrical or poetic layer to the narrative.

Best death scene phrases:

• Eternal rest
• Gave up the ghost
• Passed away
• Snuffed out
• Breathed his last
• Met his maker
• Crossed the threshold
• Laid to rest
• Gone to a better place
• Pushing up daisies
• Ascended to heaven
• Taken too soon
• Reached the end of the road
• A light extinguished
• Embraced oblivion
• Final curtain call
• Left this mortal coil
• Fading away
• Found peace
• Walked into the light
• Sank into darkness
• The sands ran out
• Time’s up
• Closed the book
• The last chapter
• Left the stage
• Cut the thread
• A life complete
• Shuffled off this mortal coil

Death Scene Writing Example

To bring all the tips, words, and phrases together, here’s an example of a death scene to illustrate how you might incorporate all these elements into your own writing.

Amelia sat by her grandfather’s bedside, her heart pounding in a strange mixture of dread and tranquility.

His skin was almost translucent, a fragile parchment that had recorded ninety years of joys, sorrows, and ordinary miracles. His breath came in shallow bursts, each one a raspy whisper that seemed to fill the room with an almost sacred reverence—a death rattle that served as the final curtain call in the grand theater of his life.

The room was permeated with the metallic scent of decay, but Amelia didn’t mind.

It felt natural, a part of the cycle that began with the sweet aroma of birth and concluded with this. The air was heavy , as if it too was burdened with the weight of impending finality.

He opened his eyes once more and locked his gaze onto hers.

No words were spoken, yet an entire lifetime seemed to pass between them in that lingering moment. The silence was their last shared language, a poignant interlude of reflection before the inevitable.

Then, with a soft sigh, he crossed the threshold.

His eyes remained open, but Amelia knew he had left the stage, departing this world for whatever lay beyond.

She felt a rush of sorrow, followed by an unexpected serenity, as if he had bequeathed to her a small part of his newly found eternal rest. The room seemed to exhale with him, releasing a lifetime of love, sorrow, and unspoken dreams into the universe.

Final Thoughts: How to Write Death Scenes

Death scenes are as unique as each story, character, and writer.

Blend the tips, techniques, and examples in this guide to write your next epic death scene.

Related Posts:

• How to Write Chase Scenes (13 Best Tips + Examples)
• How to Write Battle Scenes: The Ultimate Guide for 2023
• How To Write a Funeral Scene (Ultimate Guide + 20 Examples)
• How To Write a Sad Scene: A Full Guide With 10 Examples

PEW Research on Death and Dying

Search for creative inspiration

19,890 quotes, descriptions and writing prompts, 4,964 themes

corpse - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing

• bullet wound
• Dead People

She had been a flower all her days, the good seed that grew and bloomed. Only upon seeing her corpse did I really see that all that was her spirit, that all this time it was her soul I'd been in love with.

She was pure water in an elegant glass, her vessel stands empty, her water has moved on. Corpse and spirit each recycled.

I wanted him to laugh, to giggle, to say that this was all a big joke. No such luck. He had passed on, this was not him but a corpse, the vehicle he drove around all his life, his material home upon this plane of existence. I touch his skin, so cold. Whilst I am thankful for the time we had, when a one you loved passes on you grieve. There is a time of mourning, the ancients were right about that. Healing from loss takes more time than broken bones.

The corpse, the cadaver, was missing that soul-spark that made it a person, yet once it had been. Once it had laughed, played, been loved. There was a day they were born, a day they learned how to walk. There was a day they spoke their first word. Perhaps they danced and love music. Perhaps they were fond of sweet foods and exciting movies. Whomever they were, I hope they had good times and knew the beauty that living should be.

If you've never seen the transition from human to corpse, the moment the soul passes on, it is a very moving experience. If it is one you love there is a moment of grief, as if all the love you ever felt for them, every good memory sparks up, as if the soul makes this SOS for them to return. The cadaver, the corpse, the body without them is so very different. Seeing it makes it real in ways that are hard to transmit to the deep subconscious self in other ways. I guess this is why many cultures have open coffins.

To the corpse comes the welcoming earth, her loving brown arms to cherish what she birthed. To the soul comes the light of heaven and a chance for rebirth and transformation. This is death. All matter and energy is recycled, that is both science and faith.

Upon the face of the elderly corpse were deep set lines of laughter, and though we had come to return him to earth, I was harkened by this notion of the good times he'd been part of.

The light upon her petal skin, the heart that beat no more, the sound of her laughter still playing in my ears and soul. God, I miss her. God, I love her. Take good care of her. I pray you bring us back together in some other time and place.

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How to Write A Truly Tragic Death Scene (and Avoid Clichés)

by allisongrace | Plot | 40 comments

How to Write A Truly Tragic Death Scene

By Allison Grace

“Noooo!” The hero runs across the battlefield to his fallen mentor. Falling to his knees beside the body, he begs his mentor to stay. 

The mentor weakly opens his eyes for the last time and gasps, “You are the Chosen One. Fulfill your destiny.” Then he dies. 

Cue the tragic soundtrack with haunting vocals. 

If we’re honest, we’ve all written scenes like that. 

We’re just trying to make the death feel real. But in the process, our readers wind up rolling their eyes instead of sobbing. 

Frankly, our character’s death turns into a writing tragedy. We fall into melodrama and clichés.

But there is hope. 

There is a way to avoid cheesy death scenes. Let’s take a look!

Spoiler Warning : Before you read on, know there are some pretty major spoilers ahead. I’ll be talking about Star Wars: A New Hope and Revenge of the Sith; Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame; Spider-Man: Homecoming; Captain America: Civil War; and The Fellowship of the Ring. You have been warned.

In general, your characters shouldn’t die out of the blue. Yes, you may want to shock your reader but when they look back, they should realize his fate was inescapable. 

For example, before watching Endgame , I knew Tony Stark was going to die (I’m still not over it). But Marvel did an excellent job of foreshadowing it. 

Just think of all the other times he almost died saving the world. It only made sense that at some point he’d fall in the line of duty. 

Excuse the poor wording, but his death was inevitable.

Gif credit: Tenor

Your reader doesn’t want their favorite character to die randomly. They want to look back at the events preceding his death and see your hidden hints.

Some good examples of foreshadowing are:

• Tony’s death was specifically foreshadowed when Captain America said Iron Man would never be the one to make the sacrifice play in the first Avengers movie.
• Spider-Man: Homecoming foreshadows Peter’s death when Tony says that if the kid dies, it would be on Tony’s conscience. 
• Anakin Skywalker becoming Darth Vader was foreshadowed over numerous events in the prequels and the Clone Wars TV series. Most notably was when he slaughtered the entire Sand People village. 

Give It a Point

Characters dying for no reason is really irritating. In real life, death is devastating (but we as Christians have hope after death!). It should be the same in your fictional world.

Their death should do something. It should move the plot along. Instigate a change in the main character. Force the other characters to come to grips with their own mortality. 

And your point should not simply be to make the reader sob their eyes out. That’s not nice, okay? 

At first glance, Peter Parker’s death in Infinity War seems to fit the category of “hehe, let’s watch the fans wail” but it has a deeper purpose than that. Once you watch Endgame , you see that Peter’s death is what drives Tony Stark to solve time travel and reverse the Snap. Without his death, Tony wouldn’t have been motivated to help the Avengers. 

Gif credit: Tenor  

(Whoever made this, it’s amazing.)

So yes, make your readers cry, but give their tears a purpose. 

Avoid Gushy Emotions

Our first instinct when writing the aftermath of a death scene is to go on and on for pages about the characters’ grief. But this actually isn’t the best way to handle tragedy in writing.

My college creative writing textbook quotes Anton Chekhov: “When you describe the miserable and unfortunate, and want to make the reader to feel pity, try to be somewhat colder--that seems to give a kind of background to another’s grief, against which it stands out more clearly. Whereas in your story the characters cry and you sigh. Yes, be more cold.”

The author of the textbook, Heather Sellers, explains, “‘Going cold’ means that the more intense the emotion is [that your characters are feeling], the less intense the writing should be.”

Oftentimes, your character won’t have time to focus on the tragedy. 

Think of when Gandalf died fighting the Balrog. The Fellowship didn’t stop and cry for ages. They had to keep moving.

Or when Luke Skywalker watched Vader slay his mentor. He had to finish rescuing the princess. 

So don’t slow the action for pages wallowing in sorrow. Doing so brings the pacing to a screeching halt.

As you do so, remember your characters should feel something. If they are too cold, it will be just as unrealistic and frustrating as pages of sobbing.

And sometimes, the best reactions to a death scene are not the emotions but the way in which the surviving characters change because of it. Like after the Snap in Infinity War. All the Avengers handle their grief in a different way--Tony focuses on his family, Thor starts drinking, Steve counsels others, Nat keeps trying to protect the world, and Clint...well, he goes a bit crazy.

Actions speak louder than words and emotions. Any character can cry but only those truly affected will change. 

Don’t Focus on the Death

Rather than writing pages of melancholy description, try focusing on one small element that stands in stark contrast to the death. 

K.M. Weiland has a good video where she explains this concept:

Snag a tiny detail and use it as a magnifying glass for the whole scene. Instead of describing the smoking ruins, focus on the American flag still flying. Instead of dwelling on the blood-soaked battleground, note the picture of a soldier’s family lying in the mud. 

These are the details I will remember when I close your book.

They reframe the sorrow of the scene and make us see it in a different light. By showing your reader an innocent detail, such as the butterfly Weiland mentions, it makes everything else stand out. 

Avoid Cringy Dialogue

One of the ways we make our death scenes really annoying is by drawing out the character’s last words. They usually say something along the lines of “I love you,” “I’m sorry,” “Go on without me,” etc. 

But what if their last words aren’t sappy? What if they don’t get a chance to say anything at all?

When Gandalf falls into the pit, he yells, “Fly you fools!” It’s definitely not what one would expect from a dying character. But it has become iconic. 

Gif Credi: Giphy

Or what about when Tony Stark dies? Surely as he’s sitting there surrounded by his friends and family, he could say something. Yet he doesn’t. And it makes the scene all that more tragic. ( Here’s an article explaining why he’s silent. )

Remember, a character’s last words are important. Most of the time, the character knows they are about to die and choses their words carefully. Whether you give them an opportunity to say them or not is up to you. 

It Doesn’t Have to be a Physical Death

This last point might seem a bit off-topic, but I assure you, it’s not. 

When we think about a death scene, we think of someone (probably the mentor) getting stabbed and dying in the hero’s arms. Then the hero proceeds to mourn and vows to take vengeance. 

But what if you tried a different kind of death scene? What about the death of a dream, a relationship, or a treasure? 

Everyone has experienced this kind of death. Everyone has a hope that got crushed, a dream that vanished into darkness, or a friendship that crumbled. 

Sometimes, this type of “death scene” hurts more than if someone physically dies. 

Remember the fight between Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi at the end of Revenge of the Sith? Neither character physically dies. But it still hurts.

Or take the battle between Iron Man and Captain America in Captain America: Civil War. In this scene, there is no death. But you can see the characters’ friendship crumbling with each blow. 

So before deciding your best bet is to kill a character, consider if turning them against the hero might improve the story. 

As you prepare to write the death of a beloved character remember these few tips:

• Make the character’s death inevitable by skillfully utilizing foreshadowing. 
• Don’t let them die in vain. Their sacrifice should drive the hero onward.
• Go cold. Don’t wallow in the grief. 
• Focus on an unusual detail that stands out against the tragedy. 
• Know when to use last words and when to remain silent.
• Sometimes the death of a dream or relationship hurts way more than physical loss.
• Bring lots of tissues.

Here are some more resources on writing death scenes:

Top 5 Myths to Avoid When Writing Grief

6 Tips for Writing Grief Realistically 

3 Reasons You Should Kill A Main Character

How to Kill Characters Without Enraging Readers

4 Tactics to Make Tragedy More Meaningful In Your Stories

Allison Grace

Allison Grace used to hate writing.

Now she can’t imagine a world without telling stories.

She has written several short stories and completed a novel. Her favorite themes to write about (fiction and nonfiction) are identity, faith, and redemption. She also has a whole stash of unfinished fan fiction no one is allowed to read.  

Besides writing, Allison loves to crochet stuffed animals and dolls to give to charities. She is a shameless Star Wars and Marvel nerd and can carry on an entire conversation solely in movie quotes.

She blogs at  allisongracewrites.com

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Ooh! This was such a good article! I love all the points you made. Particularly about giving the readers tears a purpose XD. Also, that Tony and Peter GIF? I agree. Amazing.

Thank you so much, Sandrina!

Ikr? I just stared at it for a while when I found it.

YES. Thank you for writing this. I have a death scene in my first book (yes, I’m that merciless) and so this will help me a LOT. Thank you so much!!

I do have one question though… would it interrupt the flow of the story to have one character in deep grief? In my story, two of the MCs are twin sisters, but one dies in an avalanche. Would it be okay, I guess, to have the other one sort of go into a depression without her? (And then learn to get over it, of course.)

Good question, Grace! The short answer is yes. That would be a realistic reaction in real life.

What I’m advising you avoid is the ten-page description of the character alone in their bedroom, looking at a picture of their friend, and reminiscing on days gone by. That’s what really slows the story down, not the character grieving.

So in my example of Gandalf’s death, the Fellowship didn’t have time to stop and grieve. But it clearly affected them and shook them up. If Tolkien had made them all stop and reminisce for chapters on how kind Gandalf was and how he always had the best fireworks, the adventure would be put on hold.

Or when Peter died in Infinity War, it clearly was devastating to Tony. But the story doesn’t slow down. It keeps going. Instead of watching Tony grieve, we see how his grief affects his relationships, his goals, his personality, and his team.

So I’d say, in your story, that your character definitely could fall into depression. But I wouldn’t write about her in a room alone. I’d stick her at the dinner table, no matter how much she doesn’t want to be there, and show her grief through her interactions with the rest of her family. Does she believe they don’t care about what happened and they are just glossing it over? Then show that through her actions. Don’t just have her think it, have her demonstrate it.

Does that make any sense? I feel like that was long and rambly. XD

Ok, thank you so much! This was super helpful. Sometimes I feel like the action in my story is too fast XD Yes, that makes a lot of sense! Thank you!! 😀

You’re welcome!

This was fantastic! I’ll have to save this for when I go back over my WIP’s death scene–it needs the help! 😉

Thank you for reading, Gracie!

This is awesome! I love this! I will totally use this information!

Thank you, Scoutillus!

Nice! I have a few death scenes in my stories. Usually there, a character’s “last words” are not their last dying breaths; rather, a character who dies in the story is usually dead by the time the others get to him, so whatever I want him to say before his excision from the story is what he said before he fought the enemy, or leaped into the explosion/burning building or ship or whatever/vicious battle. I used this in one of my fan-fictions. Also, I agree with you on that GIF, and on the “Fly, you fools!” quote. I really liked the LOTR movies!

That’s a good idea for last words!

I first remember doing it in my most recent Warriors fanfic, “The Fire Prophecy,” when the warrior cat Kalevpelt (if you’ve read the warriors books you’ll know why his name is so weird) explains to his fellow warrior Quorraheart how he truly feels about her, since he senses he’s about to die. Also, any advice on when a character dies of old age? Because I have a character which I had to let die of natural causes, because I realized he couldn’t live forever. (This guy was one of my favorites back when he was young, so it’s not like I don’t like him or anything.)

Hmm. I haven’t had any of my characters die of old age, and actually haven’t seen that very many other places. Apparently, writers prefer dramatic deaths instead. XD If he knows he’s going to die, he’d probably get his affairs in order (sort out his money, be sure his will is correct, etc.) and say goodbye to his family. If he’s sick, he might not be able to do those things. So maybe have his family visit him in the hospital or wherever he is. I kinda feel like your character would die in his sleep. (I realize if your character is a cat, these might not apply. XD) Does that help?

He did die in his sleep. But yes, I think that would be a good idea–saying goodbye to his remaining family.

Also, I saw your bio, and…..You and I have so much in common! I am a definite Marvel and Star Wars freak, too. And I have a zillion fanfics. Which is your favorite? What is it about?

*high fives* My favorite is the ones I’m working on right now, a novel-length fanfic about Tony Stark overcoming his greatest fears.

Awesome. My favorite fanfic….Well, I can’t decide. I had a Avengers/Star Wars/How to Train your Dragon one once, where Tony Stark rode a Night Fury from the Star Wars planet Lothal….. I’m currently working on a Tron Legacy fanfic, and multiple warrior cats ones.

Tony Stark, Night Furies, and Lothal. That sounds awesome! (I love SW Rebels. =D)

Yay! Someone else who’s a Rebels/How to Train Your Dragon freak. Maybe someday I’ll show you “Dragon Riders, Assemble!” (That’s what it was called. Each Avenger had a dragon……)

This is an extremely helpful article! I filled at least three pages full of note-taking while reading this and it made me re-think the death of one of my characters. Perhaps making him turn against the MC would be more effective than having him die. Question: or would it be terribly cliche to have the character turn against the MC, later help her, then die? I am just wondering before I begin setting the idea in stone:)

Also, the character in question happens to be a very close friend (almost kindred spirit to the MC). That doesn’t make things much easier on me, so I was just wondering what advice you might have.

I’m glad it was helpful!

Sorry it took so long to reply!

I don’t think that is cliche. As long as they really, truly turn against the MC and aren’t doing a double-agent kind of thing. *glances at her own characters who like to do that*

The closer the characters are, the worse the betrayal is. And I think if your MC knows her friend really well, she will know that it’s not fake.

So my best advice is to commit to the betrayal and if the friend winds up helping the MC again, that it’s not “just like old times.” The MC will have trouble trusting them and might even balk at their help.

Is that helpful? I feel like that was rambly. XD

@allisongrace

Oh, my goodness! That is super extraordinarily helpful!! That wasn’t rambly at all and it really helps clear up a lot about the characters:) Thank you so so much! 😀 Your response literally helped me make another breakthrough in my WIP:)

That and my MC already has an extremely hard time trusting people. And carrying out the betrayal instead of making them a double-agent *also coughs guiltily* I think it would be much more effective for the story. Thank you so much for all these awesome tips! 😀

Hi, Abigail!!! 🙂 My advice might not be very good, but I like the idea of your character turning against your MC, then helping your MC before dying. That’s just my opinion. Do what works best for your story. I wish you the best of luck as you plan it out!!!!!! 🙂

Hi Kathrine! 🙂 Thank you so much, I appreciate it (I’ll need all the luck I can get XD ) Seriously though, thank you! 😀

This a great article! Whenever I want to write a tragedy I always have the character in question promise to do something else with someone else before hand (usually going to see the ocean or something) before I write the scene.

That’s one I think you might want to be a bit careful with. My family has watched a lot of old (like, pre-1970) war movies, and it’s gotten so we know that if someone is going to die, he is probably going to have a scene talking about his life/dreams/future, unlike every other guy in the story. It starts seeming pretty cliche-ish. BUT…it IS a reasonable way to foreshadow.

Thank you! Ooo, that is tragic. I had my MC promise something to his wife. He thought he was going to die, but she did instead. *cries*

“His death was inevitable.”

Really? REALLY? too soon, girl. too soon. 😉

I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist. XD *goes to cry in the corner*

Girl, why are you so good?? 😄 Thanks so much for writing this, definitely will use it in the future…

Aww, thank you so much! <3

This post was incredible!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!! A couple of weeks ago I wrote my first death scene. Reading this post really gave me some great ideas on how to make my MC react to the death of another character.

OOOOH, such good advice!! I really needed this, as I tend to write way too many death scenes :))

I loved this so much!!! This brought out several thing’s I’d never thought about before, so THANK YOU!!!!

I think Tony actually says “Pep” really, really quietly but other than that…augh yes. You could even say it was foreshadowed as early as the first Iron Man movie, but I don’t know how – maybe after the battle with Obadiah when the arc reactor is flickering?

Anyway…in my in-progress Civil War series, I plan on one of the main characters losing one of his older brothers at the Battle of Fredericksburg. The Northern Lights made an appearance on the night of the 14th, and after finding his brother dead, the MC sees the Lights and it causes him to remember a childhood memory of his brother.

Also, his brother’s last words to him are sometime before they get separated during the battle and it happens to be something he always told the MC growing up, so 😭.

Hi! I am writing a book with one of my friends. We are trying to be the youngest authors to write chapter books! I don’t really know how to put in a death scene of one of the main characters so this was extremely helpful. Quick question, if I kill off the third main character, and they come back to life, would it be weird? In case this gets published, please look for the book: Finding Panacea! It is going to be a series! Thank you so much for this article! Trying to make stories heartfelt but it’s kinda hard to get it just right.

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Writing Nestling

How To Describe Death Scenes In Writing (12 Steps You Need To Know)

Writing a death scene is a delicate yet potent art form within the realm of storytelling.

It is a pivotal moment where emotions run high, and the narrative takes a dramatic turn. Crafting a death scene that resonates with readers requires a skillful blend of character development, plot consideration, and emotional depth.

In this exploration of the craft, we will delve into the intricate facets of creating a memorable death scene, one that not only tugs at heartstrings but also serves as a catalyst for the narrative, leaving a lasting impact on the audience.

From character selection to scene composition, dialogue to emotional resonance, we will uncover the secrets of this powerful storytelling device, striving to strike that elusive balance between shock and satisfaction, while ultimately leaving a lasting imprint on the reader’s soul.

Table of Contents

How To Describe Death Scenes In Writing

Certainly, here’s a step-by-step process for writing a death scene:

Establish the Context

Begin by setting the stage for the death scene. Describe the location, time, and any relevant circumstances leading up to this moment.

Character Development

Ensure that the character facing death is well-developed. Readers should have a strong emotional connection to the character.

Emotions and Inner Thoughts

Show the character’s emotions and inner thoughts as they confront their mortality. This is a key element in making the scene poignant.

If there are any final words or exchanges between characters, write meaningful and authentic dialogue that fits the context.

Physical Description

Describe the physical sensations the character experiences, such as pain, difficulty breathing, or fading consciousness.

Surroundings:

Incorporate sensory details to convey the environment – sights, sounds, smells, and even the weather – to create a vivid setting.

Other Characters’ Reactions

Depict how other characters present react to the impending death. Their emotions and actions can add depth to the scene.

Symbolism and Metaphor

Consider using symbolism or metaphor to enhance the scene’s meaning and impact.

Control the pacing of the scene to build tension. You may slow down to emphasize significant moments and speed up for intensity.

Decide how the scene concludes, whether with acceptance, regret, or other emotions. It should feel emotionally satisfying.

Revise and edit the scene to ensure clarity and emotional resonance. Eliminate any unnecessary elements.

Reader Impact

Reflect on the impact you want the death scene to have on your readers. Aim to evoke the intended emotions.

Remember that writing a death scene can be emotionally challenging, so approach it with care and sensitivity, keeping your overall narrative and character arcs in mind

Character development is the artist’s palette, the symphony’s crescendo, and the novelist’s alchemy. It’s the art of breathing life into words, weaving the ordinary into the extraordinary.

Through every turn of the narrative, characters evolve, their hearts and minds laid bare like a treasure map waiting to be explored.

It’s the magic that turns ink on a page into a living, breathing soul, inviting readers to embark on a journey where empathy blooms, flaws reveal their beauty, and the human spirit unfurls its wings.

In the realm of storytelling, character development is the heartbeat that resonates, the catalyst for emotional investment, and the thread that weaves tales that transcend the bounds of mere words.

Choosing the right character for the death

Selecting the right character for a poignant death scene is akin to choosing a note in a symphony; it must strike the perfect chord.

It’s a delicate balance of narrative impact and emotional resonance. The character chosen should be one whose presence has been deeply etched into the reader’s heart, someone whose absence will leave a palpable void.

Whether it’s a beloved hero sacrificing for a noble cause or a complex antagonist finding redemption in their final moments, the character’s journey and connection with the audience must be profound.

This choice is not only about the shock value of death but the profound impact it has on the story’s tapestry, evoking emotions that linger long after the final page is turned.

Building a strong emotional connection with the audience

Building a strong emotional connection with the audience is the architect’s blueprint of storytelling.

It’s the art of crafting characters whose dreams, fears, and triumphs mirror the reader’s own, forging an unspoken bond that transcends the page.

It’s about giving life to characters with whom the audience can laugh, cry, and grow. Through shared experiences, vulnerabilities, and aspirations, the reader becomes not just an observer but a participant in the story’s unfolding drama.

It’s in these moments of connection that the words on the page transform into a mirror reflecting the human condition, reminding us that within the vast tapestry of fiction, we find echoes of our own joys, sorrows, and, ultimately, our shared humanity.

Plot Considerations

Plot considerations are the labyrinths of imagination, where every twist and turn holds the power to captivate or confound the reader.

They’re the strategic maneuvers of storytelling, the hidden levers that propel a narrative forward with unrelenting momentum.

It’s the dance of cause and effect, where each event ripples through the story like a stone thrown into a pond, creating intricate patterns of consequence.

As a writer, it’s not merely plotting points on a graph but orchestrating a symphony of emotions and revelations.

Plot considerations breathe life into the tale, from the first page’s tantalizing setup to the climactic crescendo and the lingering notes of resolution.

They are the heartbeat of storytelling, where the author’s artistry lies in crafting a journey that keeps readers on the edge of their seats, eager to unravel the enigma of what happens next.

Incorporating death into the storyline

Incorporating death into the storyline is akin to weaving the shadowy threads of mortality into the vibrant tapestry of life. It’s a narrative alchemy that can evoke profound emotions and challenge the very essence of the human experience.

Whether it’s a tragic loss that shatters the protagonist’s world or a poignant farewell that brings closure, death is a powerful catalyst for transformation and reflection.

When deftly integrated, it can serve as a compelling narrative device, prompting characters to confront their fears, reevaluate their priorities, or embark on quests for justice and closure.

It’s the ultimate reminder that in the intricate web of storytelling, death isn’t merely an end; it’s a beginning, a catalyst for growth, and a testament to the enduring power of human resilience and the enduring impact of those we’ve loved and lost.

Foreshadowing and suspense

Foreshadowing and suspense are the masterful strokes of a storyteller’s brush, painting intrigue across the canvas of narrative.

Like whispered secrets in a dimly lit room, they tantalize the reader’s imagination and invite them to delve deeper into the unfolding mystery.

Foreshadowing is the subtle art of planting seeds of anticipation, dropping breadcrumbs of clues that leave the audience eager to decipher their significance.

Suspense, on the other hand, is the pulse-quickening heartbeat of uncertainty, where the unknown lurks in the shadows, heightening emotions and keeping readers on the edge of their seats.

Together, they create a symphony of tension and release, a delicate balance that transforms storytelling into an exhilarating journey where the thrill of discovery lies just beyond the next page, encouraging readers to turn it with bated breath.

Scene Composition

Scene composition is the playwright’s stage, the filmmaker’s frame, and the novelist’s canvas. It’s the choreography of storytelling, where words are brushstrokes and setting becomes a character in its own right.

It’s about choosing the perfect backdrop, orchestrating the play of light and shadow, and harnessing the sensory arsenal to immerse readers in a vivid, multisensory experience.

Scene composition isn’t just about describing a place; it’s about invoking a mood, setting the emotional temperature, and creating a space where characters and plot can flourish .

It’s where a dilapidated mansion becomes a haunting metaphor, a moonlit forest a sanctuary of secrets, and a bustling city street a symphony of human drama.

In the hands of a skilled writer, scene composition transforms the mundane into the magical, making readers not just observers but active participants in the unfolding narrative, stepping into a world where every scene is a masterpiece waiting to be explored.

Selecting the location and time

Selecting the location and time in storytelling is akin to choosing the stage for a grand theatrical performance. It’s the cornerstone upon which the narrative’s authenticity and atmosphere are built.

The location becomes a character in its own right, influencing the story’s mood and characters’ actions. Whether it’s a sun-soaked beach at dawn, an eerie forest beneath a silver moon, or a bustling metropolis at the height of rush hour, each setting imparts its unique essence to the tale.

Simultaneously, the chosen time period is a lens through which we view the characters and their dilemmas, reflecting the social, cultural, and historical context that shapes their lives.

Together, the location and time create the backdrop against which the drama of the narrative unfolds, painting a vivid, immersive world that draws readers into its embrace, making the story’s magic all the more palpable and profound.

Utilizing sensory details for a vivid portrayal

Utilizing sensory details is the writer’s secret incantation for conjuring worlds that live and breathe within the reader’s mind.

It’s the difference between merely reading words on a page and stepping into a vibrant tapestry of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures.

When expertly wielded, sensory details transform description into immersion. The rustling leaves whisper secrets in the reader’s ear, the aroma of freshly baked bread can transport them to a bustling bakery, and the chill of a winter’s night can send shivers down their spine.

By harnessing the senses, a writer can create a vivid, multisensory experience that goes beyond storytelling, inviting readers to feel, taste, and breathe the very essence of the narrative.

It’s the art of making fiction tangible, and in doing so, it turns words into worlds, and readers into travelers on an unforgettable journey through the power of imagination.

Dialogue and Monologue

Dialogue and monologue are the lifeblood of character revelation, the symphony of voices that echo the human condition within the confines of a story.

Dialogue, like a lively debate between souls, is where characters breathe life into words, revealing their quirks, passions, and innermost thoughts through conversation.

It’s the art of crafting words that dance like music, with every exchange carrying the power to ignite sparks or mend wounds. On the other hand, monologue is the character’s unfiltered confession, a soliloquy where secrets, dreams, and fears are laid bare.

It’s the intimate whisper to the reader, a window into the very essence of a character’s soul.

Together, they create a harmonious dialogue, a duet between the fictional and the reader’s imagination, where every word becomes a brushstroke, painting the portrait of the human experience in vibrant and unforgettable colors.

Crafting poignant last words

Crafting poignant last words is the writer’s ultimate symphony of emotion, a fleeting crescendo that lingers in the reader’s heart long after the final page is turned.

These words are the character’s swan song, a culmination of their journey, and a poignant reflection of their essence. When done with mastery, they transcend mere text, becoming a profound moment of vulnerability and truth.

Whether it’s a hero imparting wisdom, a lover expressing their eternal devotion, or an antagonist revealing a hint of redemption, last words encapsulate the character’s entire arc and purpose within the narrative.

They are a profound reminder that even in the face of mortality, words have the power to transcend time and etch themselves into the reader’s memory, forever echoing the character’s legacy and the emotional impact of their journey.

Internal thoughts and reflections

Internal thoughts and reflections are the quiet whispers of a character’s soul, the hidden chambers where the true essence of a narrative resides.

It’s through these intimate moments that readers gain access to the innermost sanctum of a character’s psyche, witnessing their fears, hopes, regrets, and dreams.

These internal monologues become windows into the depths of human complexity, allowing us to empathize, connect, and even challenge our own beliefs through the character’s introspection.

They are the moments of profound vulnerability when characters grapple with their choices and confront the moral dilemmas that define their journey.

In the hands of a skilled writer, these internal musings become a tapestry of emotions, painting a rich, authentic portrait of the human experience and, in turn, inviting readers to explore the labyrinth of their own hearts and minds.

Emotional Resonance

Emotional resonance is the storyteller’s alchemy, the elixir that turns words on a page into indelible imprints on the human soul. It’s the heartbeat of a narrative, the secret ingredient that transforms tales from mere stories into unforgettable journeys.

When a writer masterfully crafts a narrative with emotional resonance, it’s as though they’ve harnessed the power of empathy itself, allowing readers to walk in the characters’ shoes, feel their joys and sorrows, and carry the echoes of their experiences long after the book is closed.

It’s the universal language that unites us all, reminding us that beneath our differences, we share the same hopes, fears, and dreams.

In the tapestry of storytelling, emotional resonance is the thread that binds us to the narrative, leaving an enduring mark on our hearts and inviting us to explore the boundless depths of our own humanity.

Evoking empathy and sorrow

Evoking empathy and sorrow in storytelling is like weaving a tapestry of human connection. It’s the art of inviting readers to step into the shoes of characters, to see the world through their eyes, and to feel the weight of their burdens as if they were their own.

Through vivid portrayals of characters’ struggles and vulnerabilities, a skilled writer can ignite a profound emotional response, stirring empathy that transcends the confines of the narrative.

Sorrow becomes the shared experience, a poignant reminder of the universality of pain and the beauty of resilience.

When done with finesse, this emotional alchemy doesn’t just bring tears to the reader’s eyes; it forges an enduring bond, reminding us all of our capacity for compassion and the power of storytelling to illuminate the profound depths of the human spirit.

Symbolism and Themes

Symbolism and themes are the hidden gems of storytelling, the cryptic codes that unlock the deeper layers of a narrative’s meaning.

They’re the breadcrumbs scattered through the story’s forest , urging readers to venture deeper into the woods of thought. Symbolism is the art of infusing objects, motifs, or events with hidden significance, turning them into metaphors that resonate with universal truths.

Themes, on the other hand, are the narrative’s beating heart, the philosophical questions it poses, and the lessons it imparts.

Together, they create a tapestry where every element serves a dual purpose – advancing the plot while inviting readers to explore profound questions about life, morality, and the human condition.

In the hands of a skillful writer, symbolism and themes transform a story into a multidimensional puzzle, where the act of unraveling becomes as rewarding as the tale itself, leaving readers not only entertained but enriched by the layers of meaning beneath the surface.

Linking the death to the overall narrative

Linking a character’s death to the overall narrative is akin to connecting the threads of fate in a grand tapestry of storytelling.

It’s the moment when the narrative’s disparate elements coalesce into a profound and resonant whole. A well-crafted death serves as more than a mere plot device; it becomes an integral piece of the narrative’s thematic puzzle, amplifying the story’s central messages and character arcs.

It’s the point where the story’s themes find their zenith, where characters confront their deepest fears or discover newfound purpose through the loss.

The death, whether tragic or redemptive, weaves itself into the narrative’s very fabric, reminding readers that within the ebb and flow of life and death, there is an enduring and intricate beauty that transcends the bounds of fiction.

Reader Experience

Reader experience is the sacred alchemy where words on a page transform into a vivid, immersive journey that transcends the limits of reality.

It’s the moment when a reader steps through the looking glass into a world where time stands still, where characters become confidants, and where every plot twist quickens the heartbeat.

A well-crafted narrative isn’t just a story; it’s an invitation to embark on an odyssey of emotions, a thrilling rollercoaster of empathy, laughter, and tears. Reader experience is the spark that ignites the imagination, making it soar to places unknown and return forever changed.

It’s a testament to the transformative power of storytelling, where each page is a portal, and every word is a magic spell, leaving readers not as they were before, but as explorers of the boundless landscapes of the human spirit.

Balancing shock and satisfaction

Balancing shock and satisfaction in storytelling is akin to walking a tightrope suspended between surprise and fulfillment.

It’s about offering readers unexpected twists and turns while ensuring that these narrative acrobatics remain deeply rooted in the story’s internal logic and character development.

Too much shock without satisfying resolutions can leave readers disoriented and unsatisfied, while an overdose of predictability can render a narrative dull.

Striking the perfect equilibrium involves crafting surprising revelations that feel earned and resonate with the overall narrative’s themes.

It’s the art of keeping readers on their toes, providing them with moments of exhilaration, and ultimately rewarding them with resolutions that leave a lasting impact.

In the realm of storytelling, it’s the delicate dance that transforms a good tale into an unforgettable masterpiece.

Leaving a lasting impact on the audience

Leaving a lasting impact on the audience is the holy grail of storytelling, the beacon that guides writers through the creative labyrinth.

It’s about crafting narratives that, like timeless melodies, continue to resonate in the hearts and minds of readers long after the final page is turned.

A story that endures isn’t merely a sequence of events; it’s an emotional rollercoaster that forges deep connections, challenges beliefs, and stirs the soul.

It’s in those moments of reflection, when the book is closed, that the true power of storytelling is revealed—the ability to inspire, provoke, and leave an indelible mark on the reader’s consciousness.

A narrative that lingers is a testament to the writer’s artistry, a gift that keeps on giving, and a reminder that stories have the power to transcend time, bridging the gaps between generations and cultures, and echoing through the annals of human experience.

Editing and Refinement

Editing and refinement are the sculptor’s chisel and the jeweler’s precision, where raw narrative potential transforms into a gleaming gem of storytelling.

It’s the phase where the rough edges are smoothed, the superfluous stripped away, and each word, sentence, and paragraph honed to perfection.

Editing isn’t merely a chore; it’s a symphony of revisiting, revising, and reimagining—a process that transforms a manuscript from a diamond in the rough into a sparkling literary masterpiece.

It’s the art of tightening the narrative’s grip on the reader, where every word carries weight and every plot twist finds its resonance.

In the crucible of editing, a story evolves, not just into its best self, but into a work of art that can enthrall, enlighten, and endure the test of time.

Polishing the death scene for maximum effect

Polishing the death scene for maximum effect is akin to crafting the crescendo of a symphony. It’s the culmination of careful character development, plot intricacies, and emotional resonance.

This process is about finetuning the details—the choice of words, the pacing, the atmosphere—all to create a moment that lingers in the reader’s soul.

It’s where the art of storytelling converges with the art of emotional manipulation, aiming not just to evoke tears but to provoke profound introspection.

The polished death scene isn’t just a moment of departure; it’s an emotional epicenter that reverberates through the narrative, shaping the characters and their journey, and, ultimately, leaving a powerful imprint on the reader’s heart and mind.

FAQs About Writing Death Scenes

What is the purpose of including a death scene in a story.

A death scene serves various purposes, such as advancing the plot, character development, and evoking emotional responses from readers. It can symbolize sacrifice, redemption, or the impermanence of life, adding depth to the narrative.

How do I choose which character should die in my story?

Selecting the right character for a death scene involves considering their impact on the story , emotional connection with readers, and how their demise advances the plot or themes. The character’s journey and significance should guide your decision.

What are some common mistakes to avoid when writing death scenes?

Common pitfalls include gratuitous violence, deaths lacking emotional depth, and abrupt or unrealistic deaths that don’t align with the narrative. Avoid clichés and ensure the death feels organic to the story.

How can I make a death scene emotionally resonant for readers?

Crafting poignant last words, exploring the character’s inner thoughts and emotions, and utilizing sensory details can all contribute to making a death scene emotionally impactful.

Should every death scene be tragic, or can they be redemptive or even uplifting?

Death scenes don’t always have to be tragic. They can also be redemptive, heroic, or even bittersweet, depending on the story’s themes and the character’s arc.

What role does foreshadowing play in preparing readers for a death scene?

Foreshadowing is essential for creating anticipation and emotional buildup. It can subtly hint at the impending death, preparing readers emotionally for the impact.

How do I balance the shock value of a death scene with satisfying resolutions for readers?

Striking a balance involves surprising readers while ensuring that the death’s impact aligns with the narrative’s overall goals. Avoid cheap shock and ensure that resolutions feel earned and emotionally resonant.

Is it essential for a death scene to have symbolism and tie into the story’s themes?

Incorporating symbolism and connecting the death to themes can deepen the narrative’s meaning and leave a lasting impression. It’s a powerful tool, but not all death scenes require it, depending on the story’s context.

What is the role of editing and refinement in perfecting a death scene?

Editing and refinement are crucial for polishing a death scene, ensuring that it aligns with the story’s tone, pacing, and emotional impact. This phase helps you fine-tune the scene for maximum effect.

How can I leave a lasting impact on readers through a death scene?

Leaving a lasting impact involves creating a death scene that resonates emotionally, challenges readers’ perspectives, and reflects the larger themes of your story. It’s about crafting a moment that lingers in readers’ hearts and minds long after they finish reading.

In the world of storytelling, the art of writing a death scene is a profound endeavor, one that requires the writer to masterfully navigate the tumultuous waters of emotion and narrative impact.

As we conclude our exploration of this craft, it becomes evident that a well-crafted death scene is not merely a moment of finality, but a profound exploration of the human condition, a reflection of life’s impermanence, and a mirror through which readers can examine their own experiences and emotions.

Through careful consideration of character development, plot dynamics, and emotional resonance, writers have the power to leave an indelible mark on the audience, reminding us all that even in the face of mortality, stories have the enduring power to evoke empathy, provoke contemplation, and resonate for generations to come.

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• How To Write Reunion Scenes (10 Best Ways You Need TO Know)
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• Writing About
• Tips For Writers

August 10, 2015

Writing about: a corpse, 84 comments:.

Wonderful post. A thorough description of a corpse is a must. LOL I do read and review a lot of books with corpses. :-) sherry @ fundinmental

So do I. :)

Sometimes you don't know when a body is going to show up in your book, so this is always great information to know! Good tips.

Thanks, Nick!

great tips, haha, though I don't know if my books will ever have one...great question, I think I'm always finding I have some element of celebrity-hood in my books! :) also, makeup. lol

Liuke Nicek said, you never know. ;) I've never written about celebrity-hood or makeup but books with both are a lot of fun!

Sorry the sign up didn't work as advertised. I've not placed a dead body in any of my books, but you've given me points to consider if I ever do.

Thanks. It was really frustrating when I found out it didn't work right.

I've had corpses scattered about during battles, on death marches, and in concentration-camps, described in a variety of ways. The corpses from a battle like Tarawa stink in the Pacific heat the morning after, whereas the corpses from a battle like the Normandy landings are just scattered across the beach the morning after, in various stages of dismemberment or wounding, without that same kind of intense stench.

I've written about battles too and describing the dead bodies that result from these fights is a must.

Love this post! Fabulous tease in the 'position' paragraph :-) Excellent tips,have you ever interviewed anyone in the field? For me, whether implied or expressed, elements of supernatural-coincidental-karma tend to sneak, creep or astonish right into many of my stories. So far, bodies of the dear departed have never been found...Ha!

No, I haven't interview anyone yet. But it would be interesting and very informative to do so. Bodies never been found is an intriguing concept.

It's weird actually seeing a corpse in real life. I've seen a couple in my day. One was when I was training nurses during a midnight shift at a hospital, and I saw a patient pass away. The second one was when I was meeting a client who happened to be a crematorium, and he gave me a tour of the place. I saw the room where they process the bodies. Yikes!

I've never seen a corpse in real life and hope I never do. The corpses in my imagination are enough. lol

I've offed people, but mostly just that, never found any real corpses. Lots to think about with them indeed though

I've done both. ;)

Great tips! The closest thing to a corpse I've written about was a character stumbling upon someone who was almost dead (it was a fantasy & they were able to bring him back to life). No real dead bodies yet (in writing or real life, actually...)

Oh! That sounds really good, Sarah! I've had one of my characters stumble upon a dead person who comes back to life.

Useful tips! Thanks for sharing. :-)

You're welcome. :)

I write about space travel a lot so I have to keep days straight. It gets complicated. Don't usually have too many bodies to write about.

Well, I guess that's good. Unless you write about a body floating around in space. Now that could be fun! ;)

Really insightful thanks for sharing!

Thanks for visiting!

One thing I've ALWAYS loved about your posts is the way you really think about each and every aspect of a topic. And then, you explain it so well! Once again, great post.

Thank you so much, Cherdo! I try my best. :)

The position of ghosts is interesting. Hadn't thought of that before. I've never had to view a corpse in a morgue or at the scene. Viewing bodies at a funeral is hard enough because of what funeral homes do the body to preserve them. Never touch a preserved body! At least that's been my advice. I was 'haunted' for years over one experience.

Yikes! The only funeral I went to was my grandmother's when I was a baby, so I don't have any memory of what she looked like.

Hi Chrys, I thought you said this wouldn't be gruesome, LOL. Slit throat? Bloatiing? Blood spray? ;) Excellent tips as always. You'll be very proud of me writing my fiction this last week while on a blog break.

HAHAHA!!!! Well, just mentioning those things shouldn't be too gruesome. But I didn't go into great details about those things like I could have. ;)

Terrific information. I try to keep my corpses off stage since I write about crime from a psychological perspective. That said, my first novel opens with a mutilated and flayed college student hung nude and spread-eagled from a wooden slab. So much for off stage. ;) I write about the weather a lot. I choose words that reflect what’s going on in the story. Cliché, but it’s the only time I really feel comfortable getting “literary.” VR Barkowski

YIKES! I feel sorry for that college student. Haha! I write about weather a lot too...especially in my Disaster Crimes series. ;)

What a great write? not that I could write about a corpse in my poetry. I usually write about what has or is happening in my life. Yvonne.

And that's great! :)

I wondered about that, as there's always an email verification. Done did it again! Looking forward to your first issue!

Thanks, Yolanda!

I signed up again, hope it works. Great information for describing a corpse.

Thanks, Jeffrey! But I think yours had already gone through. If you get a verification email than it worked the first time. :)

Hmm. I have to think about this, but I can't recall writing about a corpse. Not yet at least, but I'm keeping your suggestions at the ready in case I need to one day.

Maybe you will write about a corpse one and those corpses' ghost. ;)

I'm not a writer but I think its super cool to give helpful hints like this to fellow writers!!

Thank you so much, Holli! :D

Signed up again because I hadn't gotten a confirmation email; waiting to see if I get one this time around. I think your descriptions of how to write about corpses were all good ones. betty

Thanks for signing up again, Betty. I had manually added you. :)

I don't write about corpses at the moment. In fact, I'm kind of avoiding death in my current WIP.

That's all right. Not every story needs one. :)

One of my novels starts with a scene in a morgue. I go through the whole jazz of the tint of the skin being different, colder. But he was embalmed and on ice, so no funky smell at that point. I'm thinking of adding details now because of your post, thanks!

That's awesome! This may sound weird, but I like detailed corpses. lol

Doesn't sound weird to me. Anything that pulls the reader in completely is what I like best :)

Great post. In my WIP, my character walks into an arena filled with corpses. So this post is very helpful in describing in more detail of that scene. As for the question, I tend to write more about characters, mostly female, trying to find their path in life. And how they go about it is usually the source of trouble.

An arena filled with corpses? Whoa! That'll be an interesting scene.

I don't expect to be writing about corpses. Yet, I found it interesting to consider what you'd need to consider in order to do so. #WeekendCoffeeShare @ Life & Faith in Caneyhead

Thanks for commenting, Barbara!

This is important because people who read the books will know if you know how a corpse is really supposed to look. You have to get it right. Doctors, nurses and all other types who deal with dead people will know. In the film Psycho, when Marion lays dead on the floor and there is a close up of her, Hitchcock got many letters from people in the field saying that her eyes were not dilated. If she were dead, they would be. Excellent info!

Exactly! It's important to get it right. Just like it's important to get anything in the medical field right. I had no idea about that Psycho/Hitchcock story. Thanks for sharing!

Those tips are great even when you're not writing about corpses. I write a lot about chickens, so I'm sure the clothing tip will be useful, but who knows???

Haha! I'll let you know when I see a chicken in clothes. ;)

I'm currently reading a whodunnit where you don't even know who was murdered until half-way though the book. It's fascinating because it takes place in a Big Brother-style house with cameras everywhere and the killer somehow managed to get away with it.

That's sounds like a strange but interesting book.

I have to admit, just the word gives me the willies.

It can do that.

I had a corpse in one of my books. I Googled how long she had been dead so that I could look at pictures and descriptions of corpses with that same level of decomposition. It wasn't fun research.

Ick! Not fun research at all.

Great tips! All the little details make such a difference. Have you ever read Stiff by Mary Roach? It's a funny nonfiction book about different things that are done to cadavers after death. I learned a lot about corpses!

No. I haven't read Stiff, but I've wanted to for years!

I follow the cozies rule of bodies off stage. So I guess I write about the whodunit with using gossip,wacky witnesses, etc. It adds more humor than terror. :-) Anna from Elements of Writing

Humor is awesome!

I haven't had to do any corpse descriptions yet, but I loved reading the tips. The details are so important in things like that.

I agree! And I'm glad you liked my tips. :)

Excellent tips for writing about corpses. There are so many details to think about.

There sure are.

Very good points. I'm saving them in case I ever write about corpses. Mostly I write about teenage angst and middle grade wanting to belong or family problems. I don't recall any corpses in my stories, maybe a ghost or two, which means they're dead. :)

Thanks, Beverly! There can never be enough stories about teenage angst. I love ghosts! I've included a few of those in my stories too. ;)

I thought I'd signed up but couldn't find a record, so I signed up again. I get confused easily. :)

That's okay, Beverly! I believe I added you manually. :)

Great tips. I like reading the gross details too.

You need gross details when it comes to a corpse.

Ooh, good information - I have corpses in my current WIP but it's not a crime scene kind of MS - just a couple of bodies lying around so I mentioned flies and the smell. yuck! :)

The smell has to be the worst thing and so hard to describe with words.

ew! dead people! but i guess i have a few in my thriller series or it wouldn't be much of a thriller series! i should probably do more research, thanks for helping us refine the details!

Good point! Thrillers need dead people. ;)

Great post as always Chrys. Yes you did do a great job with the dead in Witch of Death. Very graphic and believable, sorta.

Thank you so much, Denise! :D

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Describing Blood in Writing: Personification, Metaphors, Similes, Color, Scent, Texture, and Imagery

By Happy Sharer

Introduction

Blood is a vital part of the human body, essential for life and health. As such, it is an important element for writers to be able to describe accurately and vividly in their works. In this article, we will explore different ways to describe blood in writing, from personifying and metaphorizing to colorizing and texturizing. We’ll look at examples of how to use each of these techniques to create compelling descriptions of blood.

What is Blood?

Blood is a complex fluid composed of red and white cells, platelets, and plasma, among other components. It carries oxygen and nutrients throughout the body and helps to regulate body temperature. It also helps to fight disease by carrying antibodies and other immune system components.

Why is it Important to Know How to Describe Blood in Writing?

Being able to accurately and vividly describe blood in writing can be an important tool for authors. Whether you are writing a horror story, a medical drama, or a romance novel, being able to accurately and effectively describe blood is essential for creating believable characters and settings. Knowing how to describe blood in writing also allows authors to evoke strong emotions in their readers, as blood has long been used as a symbol for life, death, love, and violence.

Personify Blood

One way to describe blood in writing is to personify it. Personification is when you describe an object or idea as if it were a living entity. When describing blood, you can use personification to make it seem alive, as if it were a character in your story. You can describe how the blood moves and behaves like a living creature, giving it human-like qualities.

Examples of Personifying Blood:

• The blood rushed through my veins like a wild animal, surging with energy.
• The blood was a slow, steady river, flowing through my body with a peaceful rhythm.
• The blood moved in waves, ebbing and flowing with each beat of my heart.
• The blood pulsed through me, a vibrant, living force.

Metaphorize Blood

Another way to describe blood in writing is to use metaphors. Metaphors are comparisons between two different things, often using the words “like” or “as.” When describing blood, you can use metaphors to compare the characteristics of the blood to something else. This can help to give your description more depth and make it more vivid.

Examples of Metaphors for Blood:

• My veins were rivers of fire, the blood rushing through them like molten lava.
• My blood was a raging storm, surging through me with a fierce intensity.
• My blood was a deep ocean, its depths unknown and mysterious.
• My blood was a raging river, carrying me away on a wild journey.

Simile-ize Blood

Similar to metaphors, similes are comparisons between two different things using the words “like” or “as.” However, similes are generally less intense than metaphors, making them a good option for describing blood in a more subtle way. With similes, you can create comparisons between the qualities of the blood and other objects, ideas, or feelings.

Examples of Similes for Blood:

• My blood felt like silk, flowing through me with a gentle grace.
• My blood was like lightning, coursing through my veins with electric energy.
• My blood was like a raging bull, charging through my body with raw power.
• My blood was like a river, winding its way through me with a calming rhythm.

Colorize Blood

When describing blood, you can also use color to create vivid images. Blood comes in many different colors, depending on the context in which it is seen. You can describe the color of the blood and how it changes in different contexts, such as when it is exposed to air or mixed with water.

Examples of Describing the Color of Blood:

• The blood was a deep, dark red, like a pool of ink.
• The blood was a bright crimson, almost glowing in the light.
• The blood was a dull brown, fading quickly as it mixed with the water.
• The blood was a pale pink, its color growing brighter as it was exposed to the air.

Scentize Blood

Another way to describe blood in writing is to use scent. Blood has a distinct smell that can be used to evoke powerful emotions in readers. You can describe what the blood smells like and how it changes in different conditions, such as when it is exposed to air or mixed with water.

Examples of Scents Associated with Blood:

• The blood had a metallic scent, like rust and iron.
• The blood had an earthy smell, like freshly turned soil.
• The blood had a sweet smell, like copper and honey.
• The blood had a sharp odor, growing stronger as it was exposed to the air.

Texture-ize Blood

You can also describe the texture of the blood in your writing. Blood has a unique texture that can be used to create vivid descriptions. You can describe how it feels when touched, as well as how it changes in different contexts, such as when it is exposed to air or mixed with water.

Examples of Textures Associated with Blood:

• The blood was thick and sticky, like tar.
• The blood was slimy and slippery, like oil.
• The blood was thick and viscous, like syrup.
• The blood was smooth and silky, becoming thicker as it was exposed to the air.

Imagery-ize Blood

Finally, you can also use imagery to describe blood in writing. Imagery is the use of vivid language to paint a picture in the reader’s mind. You can use imagery to create a vivid description of the blood, from its color and texture to its smell and movement.

Examples of Imagery Related to Blood:

• The blood was a deep, dark red, like a sea of rubies.
• The blood rushed through my veins like a raging river, its currents surging with energy.
• The blood had a metallic scent, like a forge burning hot in the night.
• The blood was thick and viscous, coating my skin like a warm blanket.

In conclusion, there are many ways to describe blood in writing. From personifying and metaphorizing to colorizing and texturizing, there are plenty of techniques that can be used to create vivid and accurate descriptions of blood. Knowing how to describe blood in writing can be a valuable tool for authors, allowing them to evoke powerful emotions in their readers and create believable characters and settings.

(Note: Is this article not meeting your expectations? Do you have knowledge or insights to share? Unlock new opportunities and expand your reach by joining our authors team. Click Registration to join us and share your expertise with our readers.)

Hi, I'm Happy Sharer and I love sharing interesting and useful knowledge with others. I have a passion for learning and enjoy explaining complex concepts in a simple way.

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Writing GRUESOME Injury Descriptions

How do you describe an injury so that the reader can see it, smell it, feel it?

Let’s look at some examples then write some gruesome descriptions together!

During the last stream, a subscriber requested that we write some descriptions of gruesome injuries

Watch a short version of the stream here or scroll down for what we wrote.

Describing injuries is tough: you need to make sure to not only evoke the imagery of the wound, but the feeling of it too, plus you can’t go too overboard or else the description will get confusing/silly

So let’s practice it together! But first, some examples:

Hunger Games: “I can see the tear Cato’s sword made in the fabric over his thigh, but it in no way prepares me for what lies underneath. The deep inflamed gash oozing both blood and pus. The swelling of the leg. And worst of all, the smell of festering flesh . … Within minutes of pressing the handful of chewed-up green stuff into the wound, pus begins running down the side of his leg.”

Game of Thrones: “He began to scrape away the black leaves and dried blue mud from Drogo’s chest. A foul, sweet smell rose from the wound, so thick it almost choked her. The leaves were crusted with blood and pus, Drogo’s breast black and glistening with corruption. Black blood ran slow and thick from his open wound.”

• Note how each description uses more than one sense to really make it evocative for the reader
• The use of words like “oozing” and “crusted” that aren’t usually used with human body vocabulary also amp up the gross levels
• Takeaway: Use more than 1 sense, use gross/unnatural vocabulary!

After that, chat came up with a bunch of gruesome injuries, then voted on the ones they liked best for us to describe.

First up, (the aftermath of) being mauled by a bear/lion/large animal.

Here’s what we wrote:

The woman lay on the forest floor after the bear attack, unfortunately still breathing. The skin of her face had been peeled upward, now a flat, bloody sheet of stringed flesh dangling back over her forehead, flapping with her labored breaths. The putrid stench of exposed meat had already summoned a horde of buzzing flies, burrowing under the skin every time it rose and fell with another wet, squelching flop. COZYROGERS Tommy had a threefold gash across his face, each gap wide enough to accommodate a dime lengthwise. Gnarled crevasses with dark walls and bone-white depths, where the beast’s claws had scraped the flesh away, exposing his bare skull. Out gushed a waterfall of blood, coating the man’s formerly handsome face in a crimson mask as he groaned weakly for his mother. JOE The lady sat in the dirt. She had no nose, no lips, no cheeks. Not much of a face anymore. Her mangled flesh barely clung to her exposed skull. Globs of dark blood throbbed, the remaining veins still pumping what they could. One brown eye among flaps of skin. That was the only recognizable part of her.

Next was acid burns on the face.

Her face dripped downward, as if made of putty, flowing into a discolored pool of flesh that had once been her neck. The weight of it dragged down all of her features, pulling her ears, eyes, and mouth into long gaping holes. A sharp, acidic smell still permeated from her skin. No matter how hard anyone scrubbed. Only a faint gurgle escaped from her mouth, unable to ever close again. JUSTINTOONZ Her face was a bulbous, raw chicken breast covered in red and pink scabs of dry, crusted flesh. COZYROGERS You think that’s a burn? Buddy, you’ve never seen a burn before. Remember those acid attacks a dozen years back? Well, I worked in emergency response and… tell you what. Take a look in that mirror. Yeah, that one right there. What do you see? You see a face, right? Good. Now, replace that face with a scab. Just a giant scab. Boiling, bubbling, popping at first, and then… it all… melts together. Smooths out. Like a sheet of glass. And then? It rots. And – if you’re lucky – it all… falls… off.

And last, a disease that eats away flesh from the bone.

His foot looked like it was covered in a thick layer of raw ground beef. Red and orange meat spaghetti with chunky yellowed bits poking out, reeking of old piss and puss. Most terrifying was the healthy skin around it — the plump toes and ankle and shin — like untouched trees waiting for the forest fire to take them too. It was only a matter of time until his entire leg was nothing more than a rancid skin sack brimming with bacterial broth.

Be sure to check out the video for some dramatic readings!

If you want to join us and help write a story by trolling in chat, or share your own writing for feedback, then we’d love to have you join us on Twitch .

And you missed the stream, you can still watch them on the  YouTube channel  or  watch the full stream reruns .

Hope to see you next time, friend!

Describing Sadness in Creative Writing: 33 Ways to Capture the Blues

By: Author Paul Jenkins

Posted on August 25, 2023

Categories Creative Writing , Writing

Describing sadness in creative writing can be a challenging task for any writer.

Sadness is an emotion that can be felt in different ways, and it’s important to be able to convey it in a way that is authentic and relatable to readers. Whether you’re writing a novel, short story, or even a poem, the ability to describe sadness can make or break a story.

Understanding sadness in writing is essential to creating a believable character or scene. Sadness is a complex emotion that can be caused by a variety of factors, such as loss, disappointment, or loneliness. It’s important to consider the context in which the sadness is occurring, as this can influence the way it is expressed.

By exploring the emotional spectrum of characters and the physical manifestations of sadness, writers can create a more authentic portrayal of the emotion.

In this article, we will explore the different ways to describe sadness in creative writing. We will discuss the emotional spectrum of characters, the physical manifestations of sadness, and the language and dialogue used to express it. We’ll also look at expert views on emotion and provide unique examples of describing sadness.

By the end of this article, you’ll have a better understanding of how to authentically convey sadness in your writing.

Key Takeaways

• Understanding the emotional spectrum of characters is essential to creating a believable portrayal of sadness.
• Physical manifestations of sadness can be used to convey the emotion in a more authentic way.
• Authenticity in describing sadness can be achieved through language and dialogue, as well as expert views on emotion.

33 Ways to Express Sadness in Creative Writing

Let’s start with some concrete examples of sadness metaphors and similes:

Here are 33 ways to express sadness in creative writing:

• A heavy sigh escaped her lips as a tear rolled down her cheek.
• His eyes glistened with unleashed tears that he quickly blinked away.
• Her heart felt like it was being squeezed by a cold, metal fist.
• A profound emptiness opened up inside him, threatening to swallow him whole.
• An avalanche of sorrow crashed over her without warning.
• His spirit sank like a stone in water.
• A dark cloud of grief descended on her.
• Waves of sadness washed over him, pulling him under.
• She felt like she was drowning in an ocean of melancholy.
• His eyes darkened with sadness like a gathering storm.
• Grief enveloped her like a wet blanket, heavy and smothering.
• The light in his eyes dimmed to a flicker behind tears.
• Sadness seeped through her veins like icy slush.
• The corners of his mouth drooped like a wilting flower.
• Her breath came in short, ragged gasps between sobs.
• A profound melancholy oozed from his pores.
• The weight of despair crushed her like a vice.
• A haunted, hollow look glazed over his eyes.
• An invisible hand squeezed her heart, wringing out all joy.
• His soul curdled like spoiled milk.
• A silent scream lodged in her throat.
• He was consumed by a fathomless gloom.
• Sorrow pulsed through her veins with every beat of her heart.
• Grief blanketed him like new-fallen snow, numbing and icy.
• Tears stung her eyes like shards of glass.
• A cold, dark abyss of sadness swallowed him.
• Melancholy seeped from her like rain from a leaky roof.
• His spirit shriveled and sank like a deflating balloon.
• A sick, hollow ache blossomed inside her.
• Rivulets of anguish trickled down his cheeks.
• Sadness smothered her like a poisonous fog.
• Gloom settled on his shoulders like a black shroud.
• Her sorrow poured out in a river of tears.

Understanding Sadness in Writing

Describing sadness in writing can be a challenging task.

Sadness is a complex emotion that can manifest in different ways. It can be expressed through tears, sighs, silence, or even a simple change in posture. As a writer, you need to be able to convey sadness effectively to your readers, while also avoiding cliches and melodrama.

One way to approach describing sadness is to focus on the physical sensations and reactions that accompany it. For example, you might describe the feeling of a lump in your throat, or the tightness in your chest. You could also describe the way your eyes become watery, or the way your hands tremble.

These physical descriptions can help your readers to empathize with your characters and feel the same emotions.

Another important aspect of describing sadness is the tone of your writing. You want to strike a balance between conveying the depth of the emotion and avoiding excessive sentimentality.

One way to achieve this is to use simple, direct language that conveys the emotion without resorting to flowery language or overwrought metaphors.

When describing sadness, it’s also important to consider the context in which it occurs. Sadness can be a response to many different situations, such as loss, disappointment, or rejection. It can also be accompanied by other emotions, such as anger, confusion, or melancholy.

By considering the context and accompanying emotions, you can create a more nuanced and realistic portrayal of sadness in your writing.

Finally, it can be helpful to draw on examples of how other writers have successfully described sadness. By studying the techniques and descriptions used by other writers, you can gain a better understanding of how to effectively convey sadness in your own writing.

In conclusion, describing sadness in writing requires a careful balance of physical descriptions, tone, context, and examples. By focusing on these elements, you can create a more nuanced and effective portrayal of this complex emotion.

Emotional Spectrum in Characters

In creative writing, it’s important to create characters that are multi-dimensional and have a wide range of emotions. When it comes to describing sadness, it’s essential to understand the emotional spectrum of characters and how they respond to different situations.

Characters can experience a variety of emotions, including love, happiness, surprise, anger, fear, nervousness, and more.

Each character has a unique personality that influences their emotional responses. For example, a protagonist might respond to sadness with a broken heart, dismay, or feeling desolate.

On the other hand, a character might respond with anger, contempt, or apathy.

When describing sadness, it’s important to consider the emotional response of the character. For example, a haunted character might respond to sadness with exhaustion or a sense of being drained. A crestfallen character might respond with a sense of defeat or disappointment.

It’s also important to consider how sadness affects the character’s personality. Some characters might become withdrawn or depressed, while others might become more emotional or volatile. When describing sadness, it’s important to show how it affects the character’s behavior and interactions with others.

Overall, the emotional spectrum of characters is an important aspect of creative writing. By understanding how characters respond to different emotions, you can create more realistic and relatable characters. When describing sadness, it’s important to consider the character’s emotional response, personality, and behavior.

Physical Manifestations of Sadness

When you’re feeling sad, it’s not just an emotion that you experience mentally. It can also manifest physically. Here are some physical manifestations of sadness that you can use in your creative writing to make your characters more believable.

Tears are one of the most common physical manifestations of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, your eyes may start to water, and tears may fall down your cheeks. Tears can be used to show that a character is feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

Crying is another physical manifestation of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may cry. Crying can be used to show that a character is feeling deeply hurt or upset.

Numbness is a physical sensation that can accompany sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may feel emotionally numb. This can be used to show that a character is feeling disconnected from their emotions.

Facial Expressions

Facial expressions can also be used to show sadness. When you’re feeling sad, your face may droop, and your eyes may look downcast. This can be used to show that a character is feeling down or depressed.

Gestures can also be used to show sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may slump your shoulders or hang your head. This can be used to show that a character is feeling defeated or hopeless.

Body Language

Body language can also be used to show sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may cross your arms or hunch over. This can be used to show that a character is feeling closed off or defensive.

Cold and Heat

Sadness can also affect your body temperature. When you’re feeling sad, you may feel cold or hot. This can be used to show that a character is feeling uncomfortable or out of place.

Sobbing is another physical manifestation of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may sob uncontrollably. This can be used to show that a character is feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

Sweating is another physical manifestation of sadness. When you’re feeling sad, you may sweat profusely. This can be used to show that a character is feeling anxious or nervous.

By using these physical manifestations of sadness in your writing, you can make your characters more realistic and relatable. Remember to use them sparingly and only when they are relevant to the story.

Authenticity in Describing Sadness

When it comes to describing sadness in creative writing, authenticity is key. Readers can tell when an author is not being genuine, and it can make the story feel less impactful. In order to authentically describe sadness, it’s important to tap into your own emotions and experiences.

Think about a time when you felt truly sad. What did it feel like? What physical sensations did you experience? How did your thoughts and emotions change? By tapping into your own experiences, you can better convey the emotions of your characters.

It’s also important to remember that sadness can manifest in different ways for different people. Some people may cry, while others may become withdrawn or angry. By understanding the unique ways that sadness can present itself, you can create more authentic and realistic characters.

If you’re struggling to authentically describe sadness, consider talking to a loved one or best friend about their experiences. Hearing firsthand accounts can help you better understand the nuances of the emotion.

Ultimately, the key to authentically describing sadness is to approach it with empathy and understanding. By putting yourself in the shoes of your characters and readers, you can create a powerful and impactful story that resonates with your audience.

Language and Dialogue in Expressing Sadness

When writing about sadness, the language you use can make a big difference in how your readers will perceive the emotions of your characters.

Consider using metaphors and similes to create vivid images that will help your readers connect with the emotions of your characters.

For example, you might describe the sadness as a heavy weight on the character’s chest or a dark cloud hanging over their head.

In addition to using metaphors, you can also use adjectives to describe the character’s emotions. Be careful not to overuse adjectives, as this can detract from the impact of your writing. Instead, choose a few powerful adjectives that will help your readers understand the depth of the character’s sadness.

For example, you might describe the sadness as overwhelming, suffocating, or unbearable.

When it comes to dialogue, it’s important to remember that people don’t always express their emotions directly. In fact, sometimes what isn’t said is just as important as what is said.

Consider using subtext to convey the character’s sadness indirectly. For example, a character might say “I’m fine,” when in reality they are struggling with intense sadness.

Another way to use dialogue to convey sadness is through the use of behaviors. For example, a character might withdraw from social situations, stop eating or sleeping properly, or engage in self-destructive behaviors as a result of their sadness.

By showing these behaviors, you can help your readers understand the depth of the character’s emotions.

Finally, when describing sadness, it’s important to consider the overall mood of the scene. Use sensory details to create a somber atmosphere that will help your readers connect with the emotions of your characters.

For example, you might describe the rain falling heavily outside, the silence of an empty room, or the dim lighting of a funeral home.

Overall, when writing about sadness, it’s important to choose your words carefully and use a variety of techniques to convey the depth of your character’s emotions.

By using metaphors, adjectives, dialogue, behaviors, and sensory details, you can create a powerful and emotionally resonant story that will stay with your readers long after they’ve finished reading.

Expert Views on Emotion

When it comes to writing about emotions, it’s important to have a deep understanding of how they work and how they can be conveyed effectively through writing. Here are some expert views on emotion that can help you write about sadness in a more effective and engaging way.

Dr. Paul Ekman

Dr. Paul Ekman is a renowned psychologist who has spent decades studying emotions and their expressions. According to Dr. Ekman, there are six basic emotions that are universally recognized across cultures: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust.

When it comes to writing about sadness, Dr. Ekman suggests focusing on the physical sensations that accompany the emotion.

For example, you might describe the heaviness in your chest, the lump in your throat, or the tears that well up in your eyes. By focusing on these physical sensations, you can help your readers connect with the emotion on a deeper level.

While sadness is often seen as a “negative” emotion, it’s important to remember that all emotions have their place in creative writing. Disgust, for example, can be a powerful tool for conveying a character’s revulsion or aversion to something.

When writing about disgust, it’s important to be specific about what is causing the emotion. For example, you might describe the smell of rotting garbage, the sight of maggots wriggling in a pile of food, or the texture of slimy, raw meat.

By being specific, you can help your readers feel the full force of the emotion and understand why your character is feeling it.

Overall, when it comes to writing about emotions, it’s important to be both specific and authentic. By drawing on your own experiences and using concrete details to describe the physical sensations and causes of emotions, you can create a more engaging and emotionally resonant piece of writing.

Unique Examples of Describing Sadness

When it comes to describing sadness in creative writing, there are many unique ways to convey this emotion to your readers. Here are some examples that can help you create a powerful and moving scene:

• The crying scene : One of the most common ways to show sadness is through tears. However, instead of just saying “she cried,” try to describe the crying scene in detail. For instance, you could describe how her tears fell like raindrops on the floor, or how her sobs shook her body like a violent storm. This will help your readers visualize the scene and feel the character’s pain.
• The socks : Another way to show sadness is through symbolism. For example, you could describe how the character is wearing mismatched socks, which represents how her life is falling apart and nothing seems to fit together anymore. This can be a subtle yet effective way to convey sadness without being too obvious.
• John : If your character is named John, you can use his name to create a sense of melancholy. For example, you could describe how the raindrops fell on John’s shoulders, weighing him down like the burdens of his life. This can be a creative way to convey sadness while also adding depth to your character.

Remember, when describing sadness in creative writing, it’s important to be specific and use vivid language. This will help your readers connect with your character on a deeper level and feel their pain.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some effective ways to describe a person’s sadness without using the word ‘sad’.

When describing sadness, it’s important to avoid using the word “sad” as it can come across as cliché and lackluster. Instead, try using more descriptive words that evoke a sense of sadness in the reader. For example, you could use words like “heartbroken,” “bereft,” “devastated,” “despondent,” or “forlorn.” These words help to create a more vivid and emotional description of sadness that readers can connect with.

How can you describe the physical manifestations of sadness on a person’s face?

When describing the physical manifestations of sadness on a person’s face, it’s important to pay attention to the small details. For example, you could describe the way their eyes become red and swollen from crying, or how their mouth trembles as they try to hold back tears. You could also describe the way their shoulders slump or how they withdraw into themselves. By focusing on these small but telling details, you can create a more realistic and relatable portrayal of sadness.

What are some examples of using metaphor and simile to convey sadness in creative writing?

Metaphors and similes can be powerful tools for conveying sadness in creative writing. For example, you could compare a person’s sadness to a heavy weight that they’re carrying on their shoulders, or to a storm cloud that follows them wherever they go. You could also use metaphors and similes to describe the way sadness feels, such as a “gnawing ache” in the pit of their stomach or a “cold, empty void” inside their chest.

How can you effectively convey the emotional weight of sadness through dialogue?

When writing dialogue for a character who is experiencing sadness, it’s important to focus on the emotions and feelings that they’re experiencing. Use short, simple sentences to convey the character’s sadness, and avoid using overly complex language or metaphors. You could also use pauses and silences to create a sense of emotional weight and tension in the scene.

What are some techniques for describing a character’s inner sadness in a way that is relatable to the reader?

One effective technique for describing a character’s inner sadness is to focus on their thoughts and feelings. Use introspection to delve into the character’s emotions and describe how they’re feeling in a way that is relatable to the reader. You could also use flashbacks or memories to show why the character is feeling sad, and how it’s affecting their current actions and decisions.

How can you use sensory language to create a vivid portrayal of sadness in a poem or story?

Sensory language is an effective way to create a vivid portrayal of sadness in a poem or story. Use descriptive words that evoke the senses, such as the smell of rain on a sad day or the sound of a distant train whistle. You could also use sensory language to describe the physical sensations of sadness, such as the weight of a heavy heart or the taste of tears on the tongue. By using sensory language, you can create a more immersive and emotional reading experience for your audience.

BRYN DONOVAN

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How to Describe Pain in Writing

What’s the worst pain you’ve ever felt? And how would you describe it?

Describing physical pain in writing is a challenge that most writers face at one time or another. A character might have a headache, give birth, or get injured in an accident or a battle. (By the way, if you’re reading this, you might also want to check out my writer’s guide to serious injuries and calamities .)

When I was writing my book The Equinox Stone , I did a lot of thinking about ways to describe pain since my characters get pretty banged up over the course of the book. Near the end (spoilers), one of them has several injuries, and I wrote: “His adrenaline was burning off, leaving him in a symphony of pain, one part of his body screaming, the other parts answering with agony of their own.” I really liked the “symphony of pain” idea.

Since so many writers look for ways to describe pain in creative writing, I figured I should do a master list of words and phrases to use. I’ve also suggested ways that the character can react to the pain, which you could use whether you’re writing from the point of view of the person in pain or the point of view of someone with them. Some of these could probably be adapted to emotional rather than physical pain.

In most cases, you probably won’t use these ways to describe pain verbatim (although you’re certainly welcome to, even with the longer phrases.) You’ll adapt it for the paragraph you’re writing. You might also combine one or two ideas. Like all my master lists, it’ll probably make you think of even more ideas.

Save the post as a bookmark or a Pinterest pin so you’ll have it when you need it!

she braced herself for the pain

a dull ache

a deep ache in his bones

a throbbing ache

his head throbbed

pain filled her head

pain squeezed her head

a jab of pain

a burst of pain

a flash of pain

prickles of pain

a blaze of pain

a stinging pain

a spike of pain

white-hot pain

a sharp pain

a shooting pain

a stabbing pain

a piercing pain

a corrosive pain

a crippling pain

a searing pain

a grating pain

a grinding pain

a drumbeat of pain

pain shot up her leg

pain surged through her body

pain lashed across his lower back

pain ripped through her chest

pain branched across their back like lightning

pain lacerated her shoulder

pain twisted his belly

a cramp seized her foot

pain exploded behind her eyeballs

the pain flared in his leg

a flaming pain in her wrist

a burning pain in her neck

pain coursed through his body

pain like a sharp knife in his gut

pain lanced through him

pain went through her like a sword/spear

blinded with pain

dizzy from the pain

disoriented from the pain

the pain blossomed in his midsection

the pain spread through her bowels

a wave of pain rolled through her

pain crashed through his body

he let out a gasp from the pain

she panted with pain

she hissed with pain

he grimaced in pain

he managed to grin through the pain

he winced at the pain

she cringed at the pain

they strained against the pain

she curled up in pain

he doubled over with agony

she writhed in pain

he moaned in pain

she sucked in a sharp breath at the pain

he howled in pain

she grunted from the pain

he let out a cry of pain

she bit back a cry of pain

she yelped with pain

he let out a shriek of pain

he screeched in pain

she screamed in pain

the pain brought tears to his eyes

he quivered with pain

he was wracked by pain

she trembled from the pain

she was shaking from the torment

she convulsed with pain

his breathing was shallow

the pain took her breath away

they tried to breathe through the pain

she tried to focus on something other than the pain

he clutched his head in agony

she clamped her hand around her stubbed toe

he cradled his wounded arm

he grasped her hand tightly as the pain hit

she gritted her teeth against the pain

he clenched his teeth when the pain hit

his face was drawn with pain

her face was twisted with pain

she stiffened with the pain

he went rigid with agony

her back arched off the bed with the pain

she spoke haltingly from the pain

his voice was tight with pain

her voice was rough with pain

it hurt too much for him to speak

pain like he’d never felt before

the pain robbed her of rational thought

he was out of his mind with pain

she was delirious with pain

he prayed for an end to the suffering

she wished for the release of death

he blacked out from the pain

the pain abated

the pain eased

the drugs softened the pain

the pain faded

the pain diminished

the pain evaporated

the pain dissolved

the pain released her

the pain subsided

the pain dulled

the pain drained out of her body

Okay, I could do this all day, but I’ll stop it here! Do you have other thoughts about creative ways to describe pain? Let us know in the comments!

And if you’re not following the blog already, go ahead and subscribe below for more writing resources. Thanks so much for reading, and happy writing!

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34 thoughts on “ how to describe pain in writing ”.

These are fantastic references for even a causal writer like myself! Thanks a bunch!

Glad you like the post, Poppy! Have a great week!

This is a the most thorough list I’ve seen on this subject, and I will be referring to it often. Do you have an upcoming list for how to describe crashes—cars, planes, and snowboards in particular? ?

Hi MJ! You know, I haven’t done that yet…but it’s a great idea! Maybe sometime I will 🙂

Wow! Thank you for this exhaustive list. That’s really helpful. It is a great challenge in writing to describe pain accurately.

Aw thanks, Naomi! Hope everything’s going well with you 🙂

Bryn, you asked for the worst pain we had ever felt. I have been through childbirth – the memory of that pain has faded with the years. The abscessed tooth has no power of recollection. It whispers only from the gap between my molars. But the pain of betrayal still bears the image of suffering. Like a poisonous plant – dark and barbed – wrenched from my heart tearing away at life and ripping holes in my soul. Healing has come. The trauma is tamed. My life is no longer dominated by the toxic relationship, but in my memory, there remains the image of the event that nearly ended my life.

Hi Jessie! I never gave birth, but I have had an abcessed tooth, and that is definitely one of the worst physical pains I’ve ever felt… You write so well about a different kind of pain. That is so wrenching and powerful. Some of the worst scars aren’t the ones we can see.

Thank you Bryn.

My absessed tooth could not be numed so I endured 15 seconds of pain while he drilled into the pulp to relieve the pressure and ingect pain killer into the pulm.

It hurts just reading all of those ahahaha KIDDING! Thank you for sharing!

Hi, R.L.! Hahaha, that is honestly why I added the ones to the end about the pain going away!! Thanks for reading 🙂

This is such a wonderful list. Then again, all your lists are wonderful. They always help spark my brain when I’m looking for the right words.

Aww thank you Erin! Hope everything’s going well with you this week!

1 I was screaming before i hit the ground. 2 the X-ray tech Turned my foot to the side and tried to strangle her. Real experience

Donald—OWWWWW. And “I was screaming before I hit the ground” is an amazing sentence!

Those are great examples.

Aw thanks. Thanks for reading, Denise! Have a good rest of your week 🙂

“I was screaming before I hit the ground” LOVE IT!!

True experience, the best kind.

I haven’t really experienced a lot of pain. So I guess that the worst pain I’ve ever felt would be breaking my ankle- although walking with a orthopedic boot was pretty bad too, or even just wearing. You try wearing one for more than a couple of hours when there is a literal metal plate pushing against the pad of your foot.

This is an excerpt from the first book in my Chronicles of Undying series, Garden of Soul (which is currently unfinished and unpublished). I got a bit frustrated trying to find a creative way of conveying that she was experiencing a phantom pain from having her head busted open.

At first, there was only darkness and pain; something that I had gotten used to in my short life. I could see nothing but the dark corners of my mind, and the shadowy beings that dwell within them. But then I slowly forced my eyes to open, struggling to think through the mind-numbing pain which made me want to find a nail to ram into my eye to relieve it.

Have you ever had a doctor ask you to rate your pain on a scale of one to ten? Well, those numbers can’t even begin to describe the terrific pain that I am trying to relate. It felt almost like an intense headache; except that it was not localized to any specific part of my brain, nor did it spread across my head in dull, severely-debilitating waves of pain like many migraines. Instead, it felt like someone had taken a blowtorch to my skull before systematically removing my brain piece by piece with an ice pick.

A bit late to this post, but must say it’s a great list that will be very useful to me as I do the rewrite and revisions of my screenplay and finally get around to making headway on the novel.

A technique I kind of ripped off the Jason Bourne series, and probably a lot of other works out there, is having my main character show a degree of stoicism outwardly with minimal reaction to major injuries. That, combined with her flattened affect (that she has due to a mental illness) that she’s been able to override at will through practice.

Below is a scene from the screenplay that takes place during her escape from an assassination attempt on her in a crowded train station after losing her heels and crossing a subway train pit to get away.

Being that a screenplay is a recipe for filmed exposition, I’ll need to apply things similar to your suggested descriptions and those suggested by others above for the novel version so I can put readers in the mind of my character (I’m not quite skilled at that yet).

“As she’s going up the Outbound Green Line stairs, she hunches down, takes her light coat off, turns it inside out and puts it back on, ties her hair back in a ponytail with a couple of rubber bands, and puts on her sunglasses. Her feet ache from her rapid crossing of the subway pit and the rocks of the track ballast.

As she gets to the top of the platform a ROLLERBLADES GUY, wearing large studio headphones, crosses her path and runs over her exposed left foot, creating a bloody gash. She winces, ever so quickly.

The guy looks at her.

ROLLERBLADES GUY “God lady, I’m so sorry.”

ZOEY “Rollerblades. AND headphones. In the subway. Keep it up buddy, you know; shame I won’t get to see it someday.”

And on she walks on with a slight limp.”

Zoey’s no superhero and she doesn’t have a belt or watch with a million jaw-dropping tools like 007 (though at times I give her a collapsable baton and a Leatherman like tool). I suppose her superpower is her ability to withstand and overcome pain to complete her objective.

There’s a show (not the feature film) on Amazon Prime called Hanna, I was watching late last year, where one of the lead characters, Marissa, seems to constantly get shot, afflicted by enemies and torturers, injured in car accidents and left for dead, or otherwise beaten to a pulp.

Like Zoey, Marissa is an intelligence officer (this genre seems to be getting too crowded), and despite her ability to pass as a forty-ish soccer mom, she fights like hell to achieve her objectives. My best analogy would be that she’s a human Terminator, who would march on until she had no legs and even then would crawl with her last.

I’m eager to watch the next season as well as find a script of the show floating around, if I can, to see how they described what we see on screen and what I can learn from it to create my own unique story.

Another valuable resource. Thanks, Bryn!

Shared with my writer friends! Thanks, Bryn! -n

All of the ones you used.

The doctors last words were, “We’re going to amputate your foot.” // I, in my drug induced euphoria, blithely said Okay.” I woke up and the bastard quacks hadn’t done it.

In my current wip I have a birth scene where the young woman is unused to pain and makes a lot of fuss. This will be a great resource for that. Many thanks. I’ve bookmarked it!

Hi Vivienne! Thanks for reading, and I hope it’s useful. And hope the writing’s going well! 🙂

My MC assists in an appendectomy in the amazon where there is no narcotics. A paralytic was used. The MC demands to know if the doctor knows how much pain he caused.

I screamed while still flying across the intersection and landing did nothing to stop the explosion in my leg.

I have had basically 2 different worst pains, one for most intense, and one for longest lasting.

My most intense pain was from an intestinal blockage I had many years ago. I had chronic constipation for years, but this was different, I couldn’t pass anything. I woke up in pain and I was crying, the pain was easily an 8 or more on the pain scale, worse than any abdominal pain I had before or since. I texted my momma telling her that I had some really bad intestinal pain and I needed an enema. After a while of letting the enema work, I was able to pass it and the pain was gone.

My longest lasting pain started one day when I slipped on the stairs. My back and my tailbone were both hurting. The back pain went away quickly. The tailbone pain however lingered. And not just for hours or a day, it stayed there for 6 weeks. The first 3 weeks were incredibly painful for me, I was grimacing every time I got up or sat down because it hurt so much at that moment. And I naturally did it slower to try to minimize the pain, but, it didn’t work. When I was going to sleep, I had to sleep on my stomach. I generally start sleeping on my side, but that was too painful, so I went to sleep on my stomach with my head turned to the side so I could breathe fine. However, every day, I would wake up on my back. It didn’t immediately hurt when I woke up, but just like getting up from a chair, getting up from my bed hurt, and I had to do a certain maneuver to minimize pain when getting up from my bed.

The last 3 weeks weren’t as painful as far as sitting and getting up from a chair was concerned, but sleeping on my side was still too painful and getting up from my bed was still quite painful. Finally, 6 weeks after my tailbone injury, it finished healing and the pain was gone.

I’ve had a lot of pain, but those 2 are my worst. And I will find this page useful, as my stories almost always involve pain at some point.

The only pain that I’ve experienced was when I tripped and fell on to a metal separator for a garden and nearly lost my left thumb. when it happened, I couldn’t feel any pain, but somewhere in me, I knew I was in pain. I just couldn’t at the time.

This was maybe seven years ago, but I still remember the pain when the doctors stuck a needle in my hand to numb the pain to stitch up my hand. now that hurt, maybe even worse than me splitting open my hand. It felt like my hand was on fire and that it was spreading up my arm to the rest of my body. I screamed like I never had before, almost blacking out. I wished that I had.

When they put the stitches in, it felt like someone was poking and tugging at my skin. I didn’t look. I hadn’t wanted to because I knew what I would have seen. Blood, my blood, sweeping out of my hand and onto the table it was laying on. thinking about it new gives me chills and to this day I have slight pricks of pain every now and again from the wound.

I hope this helps with your writing or for anyone else who reads this. Thanks for the advice too. I’m trying to write a novel and was having trouble, but this blog really helped me.

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A moment that changed me – discovering a dead body

C rime writers deal in dead bodies. It comes with the territory. In the course of conceiving 16 crime novels , I’ve had to imagine men, women and children being shot, strangled, run over, asphyxiated, poisoned, disembowled, beheaded, tied to a railway line and cut in two, and burned to death. But outside a postmortem, I’ve never seen a dead body in situ. Until last month.

It was an overcast day, the cold wind coming in hard from the north. My son and I were setting off in pursuit of mackerel and sea bass from the local marina. As we slipped away from the pontoon, a couple looking down from the walkway indicated something odd-looking below them. It hung in the water between a couple of moored boats. Could we take a look?

We inched across. It looked at first, just like a mop. Then the mop grew a neck, a leather jacket, and deeper in the water what looked like a pair of jeans. By now, we were nudging the mop. I was in the bow, peering down. The guy’s face beneath the curly black hair was clearly visible. Rigor mortis had frozen his body in the foetal position. He looked young. His hands were clenched. His knees were drawn up. He looked reflective, thoughtful, as if he might have been praying.

We signalled to the couple above to call the police. They were there within 10 minutes. What followed was a live performance of the minutely choreographed piece of theatre I must have written a thousand times. The potential crime scene cleared and sealed. Inner cordon. Outer cordon (with a pause to find more tape). Then later, a discussion on how to best recover the body, and a call put in to the Coastguard.

The town’s inshore lifeboat appeared. The dead man was lifted from the water and zipped into a body bag. Then he was gone, leaving the uniforms to await the arrival of CID. I knew what awaited down the investigative path. I knew about CCTV , about door-to-door inquiries around the properties overlooking the marina. I understood the need to give this man a name and a back story. I knew about the importance of establishing a timeline and some indication of the circumstances of his death. I could even, if I’d chosen to, have imagined the pathologist bent over the naked body at the postmortem, looking for any indications of violence.

In the weeks that followed, I tried to follow the progress of inquiries. As you might imagine, I have friends in the police force and they kept me posted. The lad had been partying at one of the town’s nightclubs. He left in the early hours. Under the cold eye of the CCTV cameras, he made his way to the seafront. The tide was high. For whatever reason, he decided to go for a swim. A jump cut to another camera found him in the marina. And there the story appears to have come to an end.

No evidence of violence. No other players in this small, sad spasm of provincial drama. Nothing, in short, for the crime novelist except that moment of stillness, of profound shock, when I looked down from my son’s boat and realised what lay beneath me .

Even now, I can’t stop thinking about his body in the water. How still he was, and how oddly at peace. Writing crime fiction often compels a completely different take on sudden death. We tell ourselves that people don’t want to read about bodies like these, a pale comma suspended in the murk of the dock, a life so suddenly snuffed out. They want something infinitely more shocking. They want something that belongs in a cinema or a video game. Not this.

His eyes were still open. What were his last memories? What was the last thing he’d seen before circumstances stole him away? To these questions I have no answer. Except that death feels suddenly very real and very close. Which is, in itself, deeply shocking.

My son, as it happens, has just had his second child. A couple of months back, I saw the latest scans. The young foetus hung in the sac of amniotic fluid, knees drawn up, tiny hands bunched. Just like the lad in the marina. We end the way we arrive. In mute expectation of what may happen next.

• Death and dying
• A moment that changed me

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How To Write About the Body in Creative Nonfiction

Feb 06, 2018 by Kayla Dean published in Writing

Do you remember the old advice you heard from writing teachers or craft books: make all five senses—taste, touch, sound, sight, and smell—part of the scene ? It may not seem like it, but this advice invites you to write about the body in such a way that your readers feel physically present in the prose.

Take this opening passage from Flaneuse by Lauren Elkin as an example (And check out my previous column for more about this book as it relates to writing creative nonfiction!):

“On a street in Paris, a woman pauses to light a cigarette. She holds up a match with one hand, its box and a glove in the other. Her tall figure aligns with the shadow of a lamp post, two forward slashes on the wall behind her as a photographer closes the shutter. She is fleeting; pausing; permanent.”

What’s so lovely about this moment is its physicality. We’re aware of Paris as a place and asked to consider it as a cultural archetype. But then Elkin takes us beyond that. She details the actions the woman must take to light the cigarette, giving the moment significance instead of delivering a reported action. The last line portrays the woman as a moving figure, and we are engaged.

This is just one example. There are so many places you can take writing about the body and physical space. Let’s get into the details.

Be in The Moment

Think about a great narrative you read recently, fiction or nonfiction, with a scene that made you feel engaged. What made it great was probably its immediacy, physicality, and inclusion of the senses. But there’s something more to writing about a moment. Sometimes it helps to imagine the moment several times as you are writing it. If you can, use tools to make you feel its immediacy.

For example, you can use Google Maps to stand on that street corner and feel the emotion of the place through you or your narrator’s eyes.

Bonus: when you’re taking a walk to inspire yourself, take this advice to heart .

Focus on Identity

Our bodies fundamentally affect our identities. The way we navigate in the world. The way we see ourselves. There’s so much more to writing about the body than simply making your readers be present. What about writing about illness, sexuality, trauma? As Ruth Ozeki says in this writer’s roundtable hosted by Literary Hub , “the body is filled with stories.” It’s definitely an element you can’t forget about when you’re a writer.

Ashley Perez also has great advice in this roundtable on writing about the body :

“As with other writing, narrow your focus. Determine what specific thing your essay is about. That one thing defines this piece of writing. Don’t worry that it defines you or all of your writing.”

In a single piece of writing, there is one you. Embody it. You may also find it helpful to research trauma, illness, or sexuality alongside your own discussion of your personal experience to inform your direction. Sometimes this step can impact the way you write the piece.

Don’t Dismiss Your Experience

In the back of your mind, you may feel that what you’re going through has already been written about. You may be surprised. Sometimes when we try to write about experience we encounter a wall of language, unsure of which figure could tell our experiences in the most compelling way. The body and language can be at odds, but writing about it is powerful.

Virginia Woolf suffered from depression, migraines, and fevers. Her work is filled with references to these moments in her life, but her essay “On Being Ill” beautifully illuminates why we should be writing about the body:

“Literature does its best to maintain that its concern is with the mind; that the body is a sheet of plain glass through which the soul looks straight and clear, and, save for one or two passions such as desire and greed, is null, and negligible and non-existent. On the contrary, the very opposite is true. All day, all night the body intervenes.”

In The Atlantic , Joe Fassler wrote about this particular Woolf essay alongside Leslie Jamison’s The Empathy Exams . When writing his first novel, Fassler’s editor told him that he wrote the word “sweat” too much and included too many mentions of plum-colored bruises. The essay is about his “daily dramas of the body,” and it’s a must-read. He writes,

“I imagined myself the bard of swelling; I wanted to write toothache lyrics for swelling—to evoke the chronic panic of its deforming sculptural practice: it shapes you into something like you, but not you. I wanted to bring that aching knowledge to my nonexistent reading public.”

Whether you are writing about illness or the experience of existing in your body, an important step is simply listening to yourself.

Essay Recommendations:

• https://granta.com/kettle-holes/
• https://lithub.com/walking-while-black/
• https://hazlitt.net/feature/year-plagues
• Hunger by Roxane Gay
• The Empathy Exams by Leslie Jamison
• Brain on Fire by Susanna Cahalan

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KitanKaboodle New Member

Describing death.

Discussion in ' Word Mechanics ' started by KitanKaboodle , Mar 11, 2017 .

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_9b642a53cb2e08371a71527c35676aef'); }); When moving from a living individual to a dead individual, yet they maintain a sense of consciousness, how would you draw the line for the reader? Is it enough to describe the inability to re-open your eyes and discuss the cliche white light?  

NoGoodNobu Contributor Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_9b642a53cb2e08371a71527c35676aef'); }); To be perfectly frank, this is what would make or break a book for me. This is the sort of thing that's really a test for a writer & their ability and ingenuity and imagination. You can reach for the familiar or on hand cliches to get the idea across quickly & easily, sure But as a reader I'm hoping for the author to do something different, unique, and so creative that I just want to admire their craft. I would suggest you experiment, really think about what you think the difference between live consciousness and what it is to be other beyond this life—whatever that means to you. Depending on how you (specifically in your story/world, but even your general worldview typically bleeds through) view the seperation of life & death, methods to illustrate the transition alters. Consider the distinction between Life and Death. And then fiddle with depicting your view of that distinction. Cheering for you~  

zoupskim Contributor Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_9b642a53cb2e08371a71527c35676aef'); }); I mean... How do they die? Is it violent, or do they just sort of nod off during a nap at 90?  

Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_9b642a53cb2e08371a71527c35676aef'); }); You talking a linear POV of a character "crossing over" from life into death or just a posthumous character overseeing the living world?  

Forinsyther Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_9b642a53cb2e08371a71527c35676aef'); }); I think the white light may be a little too cliche unfortunately. Think about the universe you're writing in and then use your imagination. If it's a fantasy world then you can do literally anything you want you can make the transition peaceful, or painful, or overwhelming, or so calm that when they have crossed the line they don't realise at first. But if you're using our world, and you don't want it to be too extreme, you could maybe just tweak the white light cliche. Zoupskim makes a good point; how does the character die? If it's violent, like a gunshot to the head, you could have the change to be instantaneous. The gun goes off, but he doesn't even feel it, the whole world around him just seems to freeze. When he tries, he can certainly move, but everything apart from him, even time, has stopped. And then he looks at the man who pulled the trigger and contemplates his situation, he's not in pain, so perhaps he didn't shoot? Only, his heart was racing with fear a minute ago. Etc etc etc If it's a peaceful death, like in their bed, you could have their lasts thoughts to be of family, or of unfulfilled goals. If he knows it's his time, then maybe there's just this feeling you get and suddenly you're very conscious of the fact you've passed on. You could let the reader know that everyone feels this. Or if you don't want that, you could have one minute they're lying there, and then the next, they're still in bed but they slowly realises that they're no longer breathing. Their senses are heightened or stopped. And then when he's come to grips with the afterlife he struggles with the fact that he'll never get to face the things he was last thinking about.  

Pinkymcfiddle Banned

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_9b642a53cb2e08371a71527c35676aef'); }); I imagine the moment before death would be sheer panic, your survival instinct in overdrive, a desperate and futile search for some reprieve. It would be a few moments of consummate terror, and that would be your last memory of life. Or you might go in your sleep.  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_9b642a53cb2e08371a71527c35676aef'); }); Thank you for the responses! I am avoiding the 'white light'. The issue I am having is that I had someone read the switch from the person dying, to describing the feeling of death, and they got confused. They read it the way that I meant for it to be read, but he did not understand as to why I described death and then carried on with the character. This also could be due to the fact that he hates reading, and isn't the best source for constructive criticism, but it had me thinking. The character dies in a very formal way; due to old age. She has lived a happy and fulfilling life with a family, starts to slip away when the loss of her pain is replaced by the feeling of falling. She is blinded by the lack of light, wakes up strapped to a metal bed and the first voice she hears is a woman over an intercom. All the woman says is “Greetings, Prisoner 11384. You have served your sentence. You are free to go.” Once her awareness returns, she realizes she is back to being 23 with absolutely no family, completely alone, and the memories of her current life return. When the reader finished the short story, his only critique was that he "didn't understand". I can't tell if the lack of understanding would be from the type of writing prompt I was responding to, or the detail of the death being confusing whenever the character turned out to be alive.  

Mental Landscaper New Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_9b642a53cb2e08371a71527c35676aef'); }); I have a rather macabre quote from an anonymous source that may be of interest to you. As somebody who's been clinically dead before, let me describe what it feels like. A "death rattle" is what you hear when the air is released from somebody's lungs because they can no longer hold it in. I've heard my own death rattle. Prior to the death rattle, you get tunnel vision. Your brain is wired on so many chemicals that your vision starts to blur and get hyper focused. Around that time, you start losing motor functions and probably focus very hard on one limb or on your injury. They stop being able to move after a while. The reason isn't just your nerves - it's bloodflow. I think. All I know is when I died I felt my heart beating fast and then slow and hard. You start to feel, after or during your death rattle, your blood slowing down. You feel it slow to a crawl and thicken and you know that if you could move you could pound on your chest and everything would get moving again, but you can't move. You feel it stop and it -hurts-. It burns, because it's sticky and gumming up your veins. You feel your heart stop and then you feel it burn because it's being tugged on by the blood inside of it giving in to gravity and pulling on it just like the rest of the blood in your body. You feel yourself go. If your brain doesn't go first, if you don't fall asleep, you feel yourself die. I'm just lucky I died in a hospital surrounded by doctors. I was dead for only a few seconds, but I died. No heart activity, no brain activity. I was gone. I neglected to mention your lungs. Your death rattle happens because all the air leaves your lungs. When that happens, they start to burn too. Death is burning and death is slow, no matter what. Unless your brain goes, you feel it until you feel nothing ever again. Click to expand...

sprirj Senior Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_9b642a53cb2e08371a71527c35676aef'); }); I don't understand either lol Why 23? Who held her prisoner? I hope you just washed over this because it's a forum and your book answers it.  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_9b642a53cb2e08371a71527c35676aef'); }); sprirj said: ↑ I don't understand either lol Why 23? Who held her prisoner? I hope you just washed over this because it's a forum and your book answers it. Click to expand...

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_9b642a53cb2e08371a71527c35676aef'); }); Mental Landscaper said: ↑ I have a rather macabre quote from an anonymous source that may be of interest to you. Click to expand...

JE Loddon Active Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_9b642a53cb2e08371a71527c35676aef'); }); I would have them decribe the feeling of all weight and burden suddenly lifting.  

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