how to write a speech about someone you don't like

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How to Write a Wedding Toast When You Don’t Like The Groom

Hey, it happens

O k, so you’re getting ready to write a wedding toast, but as it turns out, you don’t like the groom (or hell, maybe you don’t like the bride). And you’re coming across all these great articles about how to deliver a heartfelt and emotional speech, while really what you’re trying to do is say something nice, that keeps everyone happy and still allows you to keep your dignity and not… lie.

While it might not feel like it right now, you are so not alone in this problem. So let’s talk about how to write a wedding toast when you’re not so sure about the person your friend/ family member/ other loved one is about to marry. For ease and clarification purposes, I’m going to assume that your friend is female, and the person you’re not that into is a guy, though this advice is applicable across the board, give or take a pronoun here and there.

Before we dive in, let’s clarify that this advice doesn’t stand when your loved one is going to marry someone that is dangerous, abusive, or otherwise harmful. In that case, you might want to call a domestic violence hotline , or consult a therapist to determine the safest course of action. This isn’t advice for those scary and terrible situations. This is advice for when your favorite person is about to marry someone you just don’t like. But if you’re tapped for a wedding toast, and you feel like it’s good form that you give one, here are five tips to make it work.

1. just pretend he doesn’t exist: This probably sounds worse than it’s meant to, but let’s lead with the easiest solution. You don’t have to mention this person in your speech, if you can artfully avoid it. if you don’t want to. This is one of your people , right? You guys probably have a wealth of experiences and years of fun times that you can draw inspiration from, and there’s truly no reason to say much more than, “… and then she met someone who really makes her happy, and I love to see her happy” and leave it at that. Toss a smile out, give a cheery nod, and reassign yourself to wine duty for the rest of the evening.

Will your friend notice? Maybe, depending on how hyped on bubbly and love she is at that point, and how gracefully you pull it off. But we all love being told about how great we are, and how much the people in our life love us, so if you deliver this right, you can distract her. Also, keep in mind that unless she has a good relationship with the groom to begin with, a lot of bridesmaids don’t wax poetic for ages about the groom in question.

2. find one thing you like about him and only talk about that: So maybe you can’t get away with ignoring this person. Find one thing that you like about him (beyond the fact that he makes your person happy), and talk for a minute about that. He has great taste in art? He throws a great party? Whatever, fine, just write a few sentences about that and then raise a glass.

3. if everyone knows you doN’t get along, play it up IN A FUNNY WAY: Let’s say her family and his family and your family will all be at the wedding, or a whole bunch of mutual friends will be, and everyone knows that you and the groom infamously do not jive. Instead of ignoring the obvious, play into it, and make sure you end your speech with something along the lines of how he better treat her well, because you’ll be watching. Because it’s funny, and because it’s… true, and because he’ll know it is and probably knows you mean business.

4. say something that sounds nice (but is meaningless): This works best if you’re drinking, and works even better if you’re a tipsy-happy drinker that I am. And after one to two drinks you’re happy to tell everyone how much you like their dress, how great their hair looks, and how you just love them SOOOO much, then by all means, have a drink first and giddily enthuse about how you love your friend soooo much, you want her to be soooo happy, and you just can’t wait to see what her future holds because it will be soooo special. If you’re not a happy drinker, you can probably pull this off anyway, by pulling out an artfully placed wedding toast quote or two . In this case it’s fine to lean into Hallmark sentiments, and “Irish Proverbs.” May the road always rise to meet them, whatever that means.

5. talk about when you knew she was falling for him: Okay, so. The guy we’re talking about right now is most likely the kind of dude that you could never see yourself with… but for some reason, your person has decided that he’s the guy for her. (At least right now. We can hold out hope, right?) But this is a good moment to remind yourself that this wedding is not about you, and your friend needs you to support that choice, at least in this moment. (You can always support her in a search for a divorce lawyer later.) So dig around in the recesses of your mind and recall the day that you realized your friend was serious about this guy. Don’t focus on the sinking feeling you felt in your stomach, but focus on the way her face changed when she spoke about him, or how her eyes lit up. Remember how excited she was to show you her engagement ring. Think back to the most recent Serious Conversation the two of you had about her relationship, and what she told you then.

And then? Condense that into a speech and deliver the shit out of it. She’ll love you, it’ll be perfect, and you’ll deserve at least two drinks afterwards.

have you had to give Wedding Toast when you didn’t like the groom (or the bride)? What did you say—or what would you say in the situation? What advice do you have for people who are struggling?

Founder & Editor-In-Chief

Meg is the Founder of APW, and has been the sites EIC for the past twelve years. She has written two best selling wedding books: A Practical Wedding and A Practical Wedding Planner . Meg’s work has been referenced in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, NPR, Jezebel, and Refinery29 . She’s also written hugely viral wedding articles for Buzzfeed. She lives in Oakland, CA with her husband and two children. For more than you ever wanted to know about Meg, you can visit MegKeene.com .

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How to Eulogize a Person That You Did Not Like

A eulogy is a time to pay tribute to a person that you knew and loved, whether that be a close family member or friend. It is a time to share with a funeral service audience the relationship you had with the recently deceased and what a wonderful and fulfilled life that that person lead. But what if that person did not in fact lead a very fulfilled life? What if you didn’t even like the person that has passed? You might feel like you have been saddled with the burden of writing a speech where you have to pretend to like someone and you have no idea how to do that. Of course, this is not an optimal situation, but unfortunately it is something that does in fact occur on occasion and that you need to know how to handle it if in fact it happens to you. eulogy-someone-not-liked If you are the person who has been chosen to deliver such a eulogy and your relationship or lack thereof with the deceased is well known to the family, then all other options have most likely been exhausted. If other options for speakers have not been considered, then do that. However, for our purposes here, we will be assuming that you are the last and only option to eulogize the recently departed. Though this is indeed a very difficult task, it still needs to be accomplished. Every person deserves to be eulogized, even if you don’t think that is the case. Below we have listed some things to make your eulogy writing journey go as smoothly as possible.

Say only positive things

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This is absolutely not the appropriate forum to air your distaste for the deceased. Think carefully about the person that you will be eulogizing. Though there may be a lot of negative memories that come to mind, you can usually find at least a few small positive things about even the most unsavory of people. These positive things don’t have to be huge personality traits either. The aim of the eulogy is to say anything good that you can think of. When speaking of a person that was not among the most liked or most fulfilled humans, no positive thought is too small or trivial.Your aunt’s house always smelled nice? Write that down! Your neighbor’s clothes were always neat? That will work! Record every tiny detail that you can think of on a piece of paper. If you find yourself struggling, then think of anyone that you can talk to in order to gain some more material. We have already discussed how there are no family members or close friends of the person that has perished, but maybe there were people that they interacted with on a regular basis that might be able to provide some information.Might there be a priest, a butcher, a librarian, even a neighbor that you could ask? You never know. Just because you never noticed much positive about the deceased doesn’t mean that other people didn’t. Just try and see what you can find out, you never know what helpful material you might find. The more information that you have, the easier the writing will be.

Speak in broad, stereotypical statements

Now if you are writing a eulogy to someone that you were in fact close with, then do not follow this advice! This technique should only be used if you are desperate for things to say. If you give a cliché funeral speech about someone that you knew and loved, then you are throwing away a wonderful opportunity to speak about an amazing life that was lived the fullest. That is not what we are working on today. At this moment, we are discussing how to write a eulogy for someone that you did not care for. In the instance that you are urgently searching for positive things to say, then you may rely on a few stereotypical statements that are often said about the deceased. In this case, the more general the statement, the better. Remember, the funeral attendants knew the deceased. As such, don’t say anything that isn’t true; rather, use broad statements that can be applied to pretty much any person.

Keep it short

The speech should be concise and to the point. No need to draw out the eulogy when you are grasping for things to say.

If all else fails

Find a poem or religious saying that is appropriate for a funeral. If you recite the poem or saying in its entirety, it will take up a good portion of your speech. This will lessen the amount of words that you have to come up with. Here are two potential funeral appropriate poems. Though there are many more that could serve the same purpose.

Remember me when I am gone away, Gone far away into the silent land; When you can go no more hold me by the hand, Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay. Remember me when no more day by day You tell me of our future that you planned: Only remember me; you understand It will be late to counsel then or pray. Yet if you should forget me for a while And afterwards remember, do not grieve: For if the darkness and corruption leave A vestige of the thoughts that once I had, Better by far you should forget and smile Than that you should remember and be sad. Christina Rossetti, British poet

Don’t Cry for me

Don’t cry for me now I have died, for I’m still here I’m by your side, My body’s gone but my soul’s is here, please don’t shed another tear, I am still here I’m all around, only my body lies in the ground. I am the snowflake that kisses your nose, I am the frost, that nips your toes. I am the sun ,bringing you light, I am the star, shining so bright. I am the rain, refreshing the earth, I am the laughter, I am the mirth. I am the bird, up in the sky, I am the cloud, that’s drifting by. I am the thoughts, inside your head, While I’m still there, I can’t be dead. Author unknown.

There is no denying the extremely difficult task that lies ahead of you. Writing for someone you didn’t know well is hard, but writing a tributary speech for someone that you knew and simply didn’t like may seem impossible. Hopefully, the writing methods listed above will help you get through this challenge. As you are trudging though the writing of your eulogy, think about this: an unfulfilled life lead by a person that not many people liked is extremely sad. That person probably knew that they were not liked and as such most likely suffered for a long time. In a lot of instances, an unpleasant demeanor is a sign of some pretty significant inner turmoil. You are most likely writing about someone who lived their life unhappily with few, if any, friends. Think about how sad that is. This can be an opportunity for you to do some good. You have the unique chance to momentarily be the friend that the deceased never had. No matter what, no one deserves to not have someone stand up at their funeral and say a few nice words. Remember: keep it positive, speak in broad statements, keep it short, and utilize poems or religious saying if necessary. By following these writing techniques, you will be able to get through the arduous job of writing and delivering a eulogy about someone that you didn’t like. Take this moment and pay tribute to a person that probably needed to smile the most in life, but never got the chance. The words that you choose to say may be the only nice things that have or ever will be said about the departed. Choose wisely and be proud: for you might be the only one who cares.

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Eulogy writing guide, funeral speeches for a work colleague, tribute speech to dad from daughter, funeral speech writing advice, what do you say for a eulogy when you don't like the person.

February 13, 2024

Writing a eulogy for someone you didn't like can be a challenging task, but it's important to remember that a eulogy is an opportunity to celebrate the person's life, acknowledge their impact on others, and offer condolences to their loved ones. In this guide, we'll explore what to say for a eulogy when you don't like the person, how to handle the situation with tact, and how to craft a genuinely heartfelt tribute despite your feelings.

Are you struggling to write a meaningful eulogy during this difficult time? Our professional eulogy writing service can help you honour your loved one in less than 48 hours, with no additional stress. We help you preserve the legacy of a cherished life, in your time of grief. Find out more →

Table of Contents

Focus on the positive aspects

Respect the feelings of the grieving loved ones, avoid dishonesty or exaggeration, honoring the trailblazers of our spiritual odyssey, crafting narratives of discovery and enduring enlightenment, voices of gratitude: sharing the impact of our collective experience, how do i approach writing a eulogy for someone i didn’t like, what should be the focus of such a eulogy, is it okay to decline giving a eulogy in this situation, how can i remain respectful in the eulogy, can i share stories that are neutral rather than positive, what if i don’t have anything positive to say, how do i handle personal grievances in a public eulogy, can i refuse to speak about certain aspects of their life, is it appropriate to use humor in such a eulogy, how can i offer condolences without being insincere, can i speak about the grieving family instead, what tone should i use throughout the eulogy, how do i handle negative emotions while writing the eulogy, can i include positive contributions they made professionally or socially, should i share my personal feelings about the deceased, how can i conclude the eulogy respectfully, is it acceptable to keep the eulogy short, can i use quotes or sayings instead of personal stories, how do i prepare myself mentally for delivering the eulogy, is it necessary to mention my relationship with the deceased, speak from the perspective of others, offer condolences and support, use professional tone and language, what do you say for a eulogy when you don't like the person example, eulogy assistant: tributes to spiritual pioneers, frequently asked questions.

Though you might not have liked the person or had a tumultuous relationship with them, it's essential to focus on the positive aspects of their life during the eulogy. Consider the deceased's qualities, accomplishments, and moments that made them important to others. This will not only help you find common ground with the audience but also paint a respectful and genuine picture of their life.

If you're struggling to find positive aspects to highlight in the eulogy, try speaking from the perspective of others who knew the deceased. Gather stories or anecdotes from friends, family, or coworkers that show the person's good side or highlight the many ways they made an impact on others. By focusing on these stories, you'll be able to share real-life examples of the person's memory that may have been unknown to you.

Remember, the purpose of a eulogy is mainly for the grieving family and friends. Discussing your personal feelings or negative experiences with the deceased only adds more pain to an already difficult situation. Be empathetic to the feelings of the loved ones by keeping the eulogy focused on celebrating the person's life and helping their memory live on.

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While it's essential to focus on the positive aspects of the deceased's life, it's equally important not to be dishonest or exaggerate who they were. Doing so can undermine your credibility and could potentially hurt those who are grieving. Stick to the facts, and be genuine in your presentation of the person's life.

At its core, a eulogy is about offering condolences and support to the grieving loved ones. Acknowledge the pain they are experiencing and offer sincere words of comfort. This is an opportunity to provide a healing moment for the family and friends, and empathizing with their loss helps you connect with the audience despite your feelings towards the deceased.

Maintaining a professional tone and language throughout the eulogy is essential to show respect and courtesy to the deceased and their loved ones. Avoid using slang, profanities, or inappropriate language. Keep the eulogy focused on the life of the person and their positive qualities instead of any contentious areas.

What Do You Say For A Eulogy When You Don'T Like The Person Example:

John was a man who deeply loved his family and always ensured they had everything they needed. He had a strong work ethic, which earned him the admiration of his coworkers and friends. And while our relationship had its challenges, I am grateful for having known him and the impact he had on the lives of those around him.

John's kindness extended beyond his family; he actively supported numerous local charities in his community. His compassion and dedication to helping others will live on through these organizations, and the lives he touched.

As we say our final goodbyes to John today, we remember the husband, father, friend, and colleague we have lost. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family as they navigate this difficult time. May John's life be a shining example of the countless ways we can make a difference in this world.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today not just to mourn the passing of an individual, but to reflect on life's complexities and the threads that connect us all. When tasked with delivering a eulogy, it is customary to speak of the deceased in glowing terms, celebrating virtues and sharing fond reminiscences. However, honesty compels us to acknowledge that our relationships with others can be fraught with strife and disaccord. And so, while it is with a heavy heart that I stand before you, it is with a spirit of candor and reflection that I shall speak.

The bridges we build in life are not always edifices of warmth and affection; sometimes, they are built out of necessity, duty, or circumstance. John Doe was a complicated man, one whose life invariably intersected with many of ours in ways that were not always pleasant. It would be disingenuous to stand here and paint a portrait that does not ring true to the full spectrum of who he was—an individual who undoubtedly left a strong impression upon each of us.

John was a person of formidable presence, one who commanded attention in every room he entered. This trait of his, while magnetic to some, may have been imposing to others. Nevertheless, John's impact on his surroundings was undeniable. Whether through his fierce dedication to his work or the steadfast way he held to his convictions, he was someone you could not easily ignore or forget.

Amongst his peers, John was known for his sharp wit and a keen mind that brought forth many an innovative idea. His merits within the professional realm cannot be understated. His drive for excellence pushed others to strive for greater heights, setting a bar that challenged everyone around him to better themselves.

With the passage of time, life brings forth change and growth. We learn to appreciate the humanity in others, even when hidden beneath layers of complexity. John, with all his idiosyncrasies, was as human as any of us—subject to failings and possessing of qualities that may have been hard to reconcile. His strong will and sometimes intractable nature could be perceived as obstinacy, and yet it was also this strength of character that led to some of his most notable accomplishments.

It is the shared moments, the interactions that form the mosaic of memories each of us carry. For some, there might be memories of spirited debates, heated disagreements that nonetheless forged a mutual respect over time. For others, there may be recollections of acts of unexpected kindness which, although perhaps infrequent, provided a glimpse into a more tender aspect of John's character.

In the wake of his passing, it is natural for us to grapple with the dissonance between the person we knew and the solemnity of this moment. The challenge lies in finding a way to reconcile our complex emotions, to find a path towards closure, and to extract the lessons that John's life inadvertently taught us. Through the strife, we learned patience; through the discord, we found the importance of empathy and understanding.

We do not stand in judgment; that is not within our mortal remit. Instead, we take this time to appreciate the intricate tapestry that is a human life. We recognize that each person is a summation of their experiences, choices, and influences, many of which are beyond our understanding. John's journey has ended, but the impressions he left upon the world continue to resonate.

As we bid farewell to John, let us aim to extract the quintessence of what it means to be human from his life story. Let us take forth the conviction to live authentically, to embrace the duality of our nature, and to strive for understanding and empathy. We are all walking our paths, replete with errors and achievements, and it is in this shared humanity that we find forgiveness and grace.

Today, as we reflect on John's life, may each of us find peace in our hearts for any turbulence we may have encountered in our relationship with him. May we also find gratitude for the lessons learned, the resilience fostered, and the reminder of the preciousness of our days.

To his family, friends, and all who cared for him, let us offer up our sincerest condolences. May you find solace in the knowledge that despite the complexities of his character, John was loved and will create a void that will be felt by many. It is in this spirit of collective humanity that we share in your sorrow.

In paradisum deducant te Angeli, John. May angels lead you into paradise, and may your soul find the peace that we all seek. For now, we commit your memory to the ages, and we take our leave with a better understanding of life's rich complexities. Rest in peace.

In the moments of contemplation that prelude our heartfelt eulogies, the endeavor to articulate the profound impact of a spiritual pioneer can feel as vast as trying to trace the journey of a river from source to sea. This act of homage to such a transformative figure in our spiritual odyssey is a deep expression of reverence, where our profound respect intertwines with the fabric of genuine emotion. Eulogy Assistant accompanies you on this solemn journey, weaving tributes that meld esteem with the depth of sincere affection, and turning impactful memories into timeless legacies.

Our dedicated ensemble, proficient in the delicate art of eulogy crafting, is here to guide you in highlighting the enlightened journey and inspirational impact of your spiritual pioneer. With Eulogy Assistant , you engage more than a service; we provide a partnership enriched with empathy and understanding, dedicated to commemorating a life that has profoundly guided souls toward spiritual awakening.

At Eulogy Assistant , we are anchored in the conviction that the most resonant eulogies emerge from a confluence of shared reflections and expertise. By integrating your personal insights with our discernment, we craft a tribute that not only honors but deeply connects, authentically capturing the spirit of your spiritual pioneer's indelible legacy.

Our method is based on genuine collaboration and the harmonization of creative spirits. Your stories and reflections are invaluable, allowing us to construct a narrative that genuinely honors the essence and transformative journey of your spiritual guide. This process is more than a tribute; it’s a celebration of their groundbreaking guidance, the wisdom shared, and the new paths of spiritual inquiry they've unveiled.

Together, we aim to compile a narrative that authentically represents your spiritual pioneer—a eulogy that transcends the typical, enriched with respect, personal stories, and the warmth of emotion. Our collective endeavor manifests as a poignant testament, a narrative that embodies the profound respect and spiritual connection your guide has inspired.

The essence of Eulogy Assistant shines through in the sincere gratitude and moving accounts from those we've supported. These testimonials underscore our dedication to providing comfort and guidance during their moments of reflection.

"Approaching the tribute to my spiritual pioneer was daunting, yet Eulogy Assistant was an invaluable source of support, enabling me to craft a eulogy that truly resonated with their spirit and teachings," shares Taylor, offering their heartfelt appreciation.

"The depth of guidance and insightful expertise from Eulogy Assistant was a beacon in my period of mourning, helping me to create a tribute that was not just an elegy but a heartfelt homage to my spiritual mentor," says Jordan, grateful for the compassionate journey.

These reflections affirm our commitment to creating eulogies that are not merely expressions of respect and homage but heartfelt celebrations of the spiritual pioneers who have significantly illuminated our paths. We are honored to assist you on this journey, paying homage to the unique legacies of those who have charted new territories in our spiritual landscapes, and crafting eulogies that stand as enduring tributes to their wisdom and guidance.

Together, let’s create narratives that are deeply personal, imbued with respect, and truly encapsulate the essence of the trailblazers of our spiritual odyssey.

Approach it with honesty and professionalism, focusing on factual aspects of their life rather than personal feelings.

Focus on their life's objective milestones, contributions, and the impact they had on others.

Yes, it's perfectly acceptable to decline if you feel you cannot deliver a sincere and respectful eulogy.

Maintain a tone of respect by avoiding negative language and focusing on neutral or positive aspects of their life.

Yes, neutral stories that are factual and non-offensive can be shared if positive stories are not available.

If you have nothing positive to say, focus on general comments about life, loss, and the nature of mourning.

Avoid mentioning personal grievances or conflicts in a public eulogy to maintain respect and decorum.

You have the right to avoid speaking about aspects of their life that you are uncomfortable addressing.

Humor should be used cautiously and only if it is respectful and appropriate to the context.

Offer general condolences focusing on the loss and the grieving process rather than personal feelings towards the deceased.

Yes, shifting the focus to the grieving family and their loss is a respectful approach.

Maintain a professional, somber, and respectful tone throughout the eulogy.

Acknowledge your emotions privately but separate them from the eulogy's content.

Highlighting professional or social contributions is a good way to keep the eulogy respectful and factual.

Personal feelings, especially negative ones, should generally be kept private and not included in the eulogy.

Conclude with a general statement about life, legacy, or a simple farewell.

Yes, keeping the eulogy short and to the point is acceptable under these circumstances.

Using quotes or universal sayings about life and death can be a good alternative to personal stories.

Prepare yourself mentally by focusing on the purpose of the eulogy, which is to acknowledge a life and provide comfort to the bereaved.

It's not necessary to detail your relationship if it might color the eulogy in a negative light.

Crafting a eulogy for someone you didn't like can be a challenging and emotional task. However, by focusing on the positive aspects of their life, speaking from the perspective of others, and offering condolences and support, you can create a meaningful tribute that respects the person's memory and brings comfort to their loved ones. Remember, a eulogy is an opportunity to reflect on the deceased's life and impact on others, regardless of your personal feelings towards them. We hope this guide has been helpful as you navigate this complex task and invite you to explore other resources available on Eulogy Assistant for further guidance. Please feel free to share this article with others who may be in a similar situation.

Looking For Examples? Here Are Some of The Best Eulogies

How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 1/3: Do’s

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How To Write A Wedding Speech: The Ultimate Guide For Do’s, Don’ts, and Delivery PART 2/3: Don’ts

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how to write a wedding speech dos

Someone you love is getting married, and you’ve just been asked to give a speech at the wedding. What an honor! But also, if you’re not used to giving speeches, what a nightmare! Public speaking can be scary , which is why many people prefer to avoid it. But when your bestie asks you to make a speech at his or her wedding, it’s time to rally. But now you’re wondering if you even know how to write a wedding speech! What makes some wedding speeches fun and memorable, and what makes others cringy and fall flat? We’ve got you. We’ve put together the ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech, focusing on things you definitely should do, things you definitely should NOT do, and then how to deliver your killer wedding speech like a pro.

If you’re wondering how to write a wedding speech, here are a few “Do’s” to keep in mind.

Start planning early
Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom
Thanks to hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple
Make it personal
Think of 3 traits with 3 stories
Talk about the couple
Have a beginning, middle, and end
Consider your audience
Keep it short and sweet
It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

1. Start planning early

If you don’t know how to write a wedding speech but the bride just asked you to give one, this is not a time to procrastinate. Public speaking is one of the number one fears many people have, so it’s likely you’ve avoided giving too many public speeches before this. And unless you’re a performer or a veteran improv comedian, you might not do too well winging this one. If you get nervous in front of an audience (as most of us do), the best defense against freezing up when you take the mic is being prepared.

As soon as you know you’ve been asked to give a speech at the wedding, begin jotting down notes immediately. Whenever you’re inspired by a thought of the couple or remember an anecdote that might be worth retelling, make note of it. This will help to give you a pool of ideas to draw from when you start writing down the speech.

Begin gathering ideas and writing the speech a couple of weeks to a month before the wedding. You’ll need time to edit, fine-tune it, and make it concise. And as wedding showers, bachelorette parties, and other wedding festivities begin, you might find there are entertaining stories from these events you want to add as well. If you want to write it all at once, you can do that too. However, make sure to sleep on it and come back with fresh eyes. You don’t want just “okay,” you want your speech to be heartfelt and meaningful.

You will also want to begin early to give yourself time to practice and rehearse your speech plenty of times.

2. Introduce yourself and how you know the bride and groom

No matter how large or small the wedding is, it’s likely you will not be familiar with many of the guests on one or both sides. And they won’t be familiar with you either. So don’t leave them guessing!

Make sure when you start to write a wedding speech to introduce yourself and mention how you know the couple. This will help them understand the context of your speech, which will also help it to be more well-received.

3. Thank hosts, guests, and wedding party; congratulate the couple

It’s also courteous to take this time to thank the hosts and other members of the wedding party for all the hard work that went into the event, and to thank guests for being there to support the newlyweds, especially those who had to travel far.

It’s also a good time to officially congratulate the newlyweds and offer them your personal well-wishes for their future. It is imperative that you don’t forget this part, because they are the whole reason you’re there and giving a speech!

4. Make it personal

Whether you are the maid of honor, the best man, father of the bride, or just a friend, you were asked to give a speech because of your close connection and relationship with either the bride or groom (or both).

And since you know your friend as well as you do, you probably have plenty of stories to share; so the next tip for how to write a wedding speech is don’t hesitate to make it personal and share those stories! This will also help guests get to know the other half of the couple they might not know as well or are just meeting for the first time. And those guests who do know them will love hearing some entertaining stories they might not have heard yet.

5. Think of 3 traits with 3 stories

If you’re finding it difficult to come up with anything, a useful approach for how to write a wedding speech is to think of 3 positive defining traits or qualities of the bride or groom and recount three stories or examples that illuminate a time they exhibited these traits. These stories could be comedic, heartwarming, or both. Just make sure they are relevant and entertaining!

6. Talk about the couple

If you’re the maid of honor and have been chatting up the bride for the whole speech, part of how to write a wedding speech is to make sure at some point it circles around to the groom, too, and to the two of them as a couple.

Recount the time you met him, or how you remember talking about him with the bride in the beginning stages of their relationship. If you don’t know the groom all that well, talk about how good they are as a couple and about how happy he makes her.

And If you’re not a fan of the groom, this is not the time to air your grievances. Always keep it positive.

7. Have a beginning, middle, and end

All good speeches have a good flow and take the audience along with it.

Don’t let your speech fall flat or jumble together in a haphazard confusion of disconnected anecdotes. Give it the structure of an overarching theme, with a beginning, a middle, and an end.

We are not talking about a novel here, just make sure there is a direction to where the speech is going, and that the destination, end, or sentiment is achieved. It doesn’t need to be Charlie Chaplin in The Great Dictator, but a three-act structure does help keep you grounded. Most people also follow a story easier when there is a clear direction for a story or speech.

8. Consider your audience

The next thing to keep in mind when considering how to write a wedding speech is to make sure you consider who your audience is.

This is not the bachelor or bachelorette party. There will be a wide range of people present from children to the elderly, and from close friends of the bride and groom to casual acquaintances and coworkers. Make sure your speech is free of any crudeness that might not be fit for such a varied audience. Also, this isn’t the time to take a shot at any of the religious cermonies.

Be considerate and keep it positive and use language everyone can relate to.

9. Keep it short and sweet

You want your speech to be meaningful and memorable; but the wedding is not about you, and yours is not the only speech.

No one ever complains about a speech being too short, but they do begin to grumble if it runs on too long. A good rule of thumb to keep in mind when figuring out how to write a wedding speech is to keep your speech between 2-5 minutes long. Any longer than 5 minutes and you’ll lose everyone to thoughts of cake and whether or not to Cupid Shuffle later.

10. Add humor

Don’t be afraid to be funny! Another tip for how to write a wedding speech is that if you’ve got a lighthearted, creative, joking side, use it and add humor to your speech! Everyone likes to be entertained.

This doesn’t mean you should scour the internet for generic wedding-themed jokes, but if you’ve got some good original material to use that helps relate a story about the bride or groom in a comedic way, do it. As long as you’re not making fun of the couple but having fun with them, jokes are great. Or you can even poke fun at yourself to illuminate a higher quality in your bestie. It’s all about making the newlyweds shine.

If you’re creative and have other talents, use them! If you are musical, bust out your instrument and/or vocal cords and make the speech in the form of a song! Use props, and get the other guests involved! The newlyweds will feel special because you created something for them, and the guests will love joining in the fun.

11. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful

If entertaining isn’t your thing, that’s okay! Don’t force it – just be yourself. It’s okay to be simple and meaningful with your speech. Always keep in mind when you go to write a wedding speech that what’s important is that you are genuine and speak from the heart.

Hopefully, you found these tips for how to write a wedding speech helpful, and can start writing today! And stay tuned to our blog for the next part in this ultimate guide for how to write a wedding speech where we highlight a few things you should definitely avoid.

Love this content and want more? Read more about weddings on our blog ! Involved in the wedding planning process and the bride is still looking for a venue ? Give us a call today and we’ll help you find the perfect place!

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I need an example of a good wedding speec for the bride.Its my first time.

[…] infusing genuine emotion into your wedding speech is essential for creating a heartfelt connection with the audience. Expressing warmth, sincerity, […]

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