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Essay Intensive

Why You? Why Me! Tackling Supplemental Essays

November 18, 2015 by Sara Nolan

Admit it: you, me, and possibly everyone else thinks the college application supplemental essays sometimes  suck, and so you may be leaving them to tackle last, after your core essay is polished and powerful. Then (now!) you face a daunting  sucky pile. But as is true for the rest of the application process, supplemental essays don’t have to make you gag, stall, and then use hyperbole to compensate.  It’s up to you to make them work, and worth your time to do so, since many students have upward of twenty to write. Here are our tips on writing these essays successfully.

First, why do they suck (and merit such a low-brow verb)?

Because the supplemental essays violate an important maxim:

Ask a good question, get a good answer.  

Unfortunately, the supplemental essay questions are often dry, and so get your dry responses.  And the human urge to spout grand life plans and BS a bit.

Students often get trapped responding to the “Why Our School?” essay, which can require anywhere from a painful 150 to a brutal 500 words, with one of the following unsuccessful moves:

• Copy-pasting text from the school’s website (I think they may have read that already).
• Sharing your grand Life Plans (think ALL CAPS).
• Spewing a healthy load of BS praise (“This school has a STUPENDOUS anthropology program!!!!”).

The issue with each of these approaches is:

• You told them what they already know.  (But they are really glad you took the time to Ctrl-X, Ctrl-V).
• Your long-term ambitions and Big Dreams are not as relevant or important here as your immediate ambitions and actions.
• BS cannot sound like anything but BS.  Admissions officers are hired for their BS detectors. Also, Schools are not like dogs– they are not hoping for your praise.  You are hoping for theirs.

Luckily, we can call on a powerful, effective and simple recipe to get us through– since we are stuck with these supplemental essay questions for now (Hallelujah to U Chicago, and the other schools who find clever ways to elicit student creativity and individuality!! Hallelujah!). Your tools? Honesty, Specificity, Immediacy, and Knowledge.

For strong supplemental essays, try these moves instead:

• Be honest.  Say what you really connect to and like about the school, and what of your personal qualities and experiences fit there.
• Be specific.  Mentioning a particular class you looked up is more specific than mentioning an entire field of study.
• Be immediate.  What do you want to study next year?  What interest is tugging at you that the school can fulfill?
• Know their professors– who does what there?  With a LITTLE investigation you can find out.  Name one or two of their people strategically.

They are looking for evidence that:

• You read the question. The one they asked.  Your answer should NOT sound like it could apply to ANY school on your list nor fly off into irrelevant info you think they should know.
• You looked beyond the surface– beyond that photo on their homepage, beyond their school motto.  Investigate at least one, two, or three (go boldly!) clicks further.
• You are not lazy.  This means you did both number 1 and 2.
• You are an individual person, not an ideal person.  That is, you are not trying to be what you think they want, but instead show them why they should want who you really are.

Still confused? Still annoyed? Still think your essays are dull, and don’t reflect you so well? Not sure if you’re flirting with your prospect school or turning them off?

Smile, and contact us for sympathy and writing advice.  We love helping you figure out the big WHY? (in your essays and beyond.  But don’t get us started on the beyond.)

Reader Interactions

• Contributors

Nearly two years after the attempt on the President’s life, an innocent bystander offers further testimony

Why Me? Jodie Foster December 1 1982

M Y BROTHERS AND SISTERS CALLED ME LOAD BECAUSE OF THE EXTRAORDINARY CAPACITY OF MY DIAPERS. Apart from that fact and a few distinguishing details here and there, my vision of myself was pretty average. Not average so-so; just average ... bacon and eggs, Volkswagens, southern California sun. Sometimes, though, I look back at my life, at the way it has slowly assumed shape and color, at the places I’ve seen and the flickers of people I’ve met, and wonder, Why? Why me? Why, when the lists were made and the heads counted, was I always chosen? Why did I always find the chocolate basket on Easter morning? Mostly the applause felt good; damn wonderful, even.

To this day I still redden and warm when someone compliments my work or asks me for a date. We all need huge amounts of love, some more than others. But there are times now when a very small child creeps up within me and desperately moans, “Why?” This is the ”why” of the romantic, the idealist, the vulnerable, the pure. This is the “why” of the struggling woman-child scribbling down explanations, sensations, incantations in the night. This is the “why” of poetry, when a phrase bursts through and pierces my control. A balloon slowly deflates over a calm pasture. This is the “why” they never saw, they never see, they never will see. This is my “why,” my final and ultimate cry. This one’s for me.

M Y SUMMER OF 1980 WAS spent in anticipation of what I was “going to be,” how I was going to walk into the framework of the Ivy League. I bought a good deal of Lacoste clothing, pumped my three-pound dumbbells each morning, played tennis in the afternoon. I wanted to be the kind of girl who’s friendly, well-liked, social. To a point, you could say that that’s anonymity—the need to be wholly accepted as an equal and yet respected for the product of your efforts. Maybe I was kidding myself. Maybe I was trying to escape from what I felt was an undeserved image. In any case, I found myself, backpack in hand, playing “Muffin” in a world I knew nothing about. I’d never been to a happy hour, a lacrosse game, a cottage on the Vineyard. For years I had been growing paler watching double features with my mom, then eating Chinese food from paper cartons. I knew everything there was to know about distribution profits and how to handle meetings at the Polo Lounge. It wasn’t that I’d lost my childhood or become jaded; I just didn’t have a clue as to how it felt to be out of control, completely lost, without prior experience. Yet there I was, never having stayed anywhere for more than three months, never having had to cultivate friendships with people my own age. I had but one childhood friend, Clara Lisa. She was a mover too—to Paris, to Tahiti, to God knows where. Whenever we could, we’d meet places, giggle, and jump on beds.

Yale was different from any of this. I wanted to be approved of. I attended every freshman event, every college game to make them feel that I was okay, normal, just like they were. But as the weeks went by I realized I really wasn’t. I had a job to go back to, lawyers to call, photographers to pose for. It wasn’t until at least two years later that I realized it was okay to be different. Better, even. Being understood is not the most essential thing in life.

As I became less and less afraid of new experiences, my personality changed. I took on a screw-the-world dress code. I hung out with people I thought were unique, nonconformist, substantially complex. They were the kind you’d pass on the way to the Commons and say, “That person’s interesting. I want to get to know him.” I had my first and last bout with tequila. I did ska dances in the street, water-ballooned singing groups, philosophized and talked dirty until five in the morning. The control I’d had all those years was self-imposed and alienating. Now I was able to make mistakes. In the beginning of school I had tried desperately to be five foot four. Now I was five foot four. I was elated.

It was around this time I started questioning my career. I was passionate about school. I wanted to be at Yale forever, holding people, writing down literary revelations, reading tales of men long dead, smiling from inside out. The idea of returning to a dressing room in a Winnebago, being called Miss Foster, seemed foreign, unnatural. I didn’t want to return those phone calls from home, from agents, from polite employers. All those scribbled messages just meant that I was still dependent, still theirs to scrutinize, to admire. Maybe I was kidding myself. In fact, I’m sure of it.

I was sitting in the library in March. The first weekend of the play I was doing on campus, Getting Out , had ended. I had five more performances to do. I must have been a sight. My skin had erupted from greasepaint. My clothes were torn and rumpled. I didn’t like sleeping anymore. It kept me from other things. My studies never suffered, simply because they were my first priority, the easiest responsibility to fulfill. Academics was a drop in the pond compared with the demands of the social process. The fact that I decided to do a play at Yale still astounds me. Theater scared me to death; I didn’t know the first thing about it. But one of my best friends was directing and many of my buddies were in it. I suppose I did it for the wrong reasons. I wanted them to love me. The audience, the actors, my pals. I wanted to be involved in a common experience, something that would melt the already thawing barriers.

The following hazy Monday afternoon I was skipping hand in hand across campus with my best friend. Someone yelled as we went by, “Hey. Did you hear? Reagan got shot.” We continued on. At dinnertime everyone was asking if we’d heard what the President’s condition was. Well, my radio had been busted for three months and my friend’s was terminally glued to the local reggae station. “Come on. This is college. News can wait.” No one seemed to mention Brady or the assailant until late into the evening. I finally sauntered home around ten-thirty. My roommate opened the door before I could get my key in.

“John,” she said.

“John who?”

“John Hinckley.”

“What about him? Did he write me again?”

“He’s the one, I think. It was on the radio.”

“Bullshit. You’re imagining things.”

The phone was ringing. I answered it. My dean said, “Don’t be upset.” He explained that my pictures and address had been found on the arrested man. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. My body started shaking and I knew that I had lost control … maybe for the very first time in my life. I was to meet the FBI in his office as soon as possible.

“Give me a couple of minutes,” I said. I ran to a friend’s. I waited for her to get out of the shower as three or four loud boys listened to the news down the hall. They were drinking beer and I carried on with them for a few minutes just to prove to myself I could do it. I laughed and made jokes—like a good little actress. Then my friend closed the door and questioned me with a glance. I started to cry a bit, then my tears turned to laughter. I couldn’t stop laughing. It was simply too funny, too incredibly bizarre, too painful. She thought I was going crazy. My laughter was strange and hollow, and I couldn’t control it. It was beyond me. My body jerked in painful convulsions. I hurt. I was no longer thinking of the President, of the assailant, of the crime, of the press. I was crying for myself. Me, the unwilling victim. The one who would pay in the end. The one who paid all along—and, yes, keeps paying. That kind of pain doesn’t go away. It’s something you never understand, forgive, or forget. It is a pain that can never be healed with a kiss from your mother’s lips or a “ Sssh , everything’s okay.” Everything’s not okay! It’s not.

“Hey. Did you hear? Reagan got shot.”

But I didn’t have the time to feel it then. There were things to be done, secrets to keep. I was supposed to be “tough,” like cowboys, like diplomats, like “unaffected actresses”—not because anyone asked me to but because I wanted to show them (God knows who) that I was strong. I wanted to show them all that Jodie was so uniquely “normal” and “well-adjusted” that nothing could make her fall. I think I believed all this, my subconscious propaganda. But the truth was that in the crunch, when the chips are down, in a time of crisis, you resort to strength you’d never dreamed you owned, like frantic mothers lifting their children from under two-ton trucks. The will to survive is stronger than any emotion in the human system.

The next afternoon I was rushed to the home of one of the bigwigs in the Yale administration. So these grown-up Yalies—the men in horn-rims and with law degrees—were called to advise me. But nobody quite knew what to do. These academic wonders were reduced to schoolboys. There was no time for typed speeches and haughty jargon. We had to pick up the pieces, to act. I started making my calls. I talked to lawyers, to the FBI, to DAs, to anyone with some sort of experience in these affairs. They all gave me different advice and none was too sure whom I should speak to. Things were being leaked so fast that the news stations knew more than any of us on the inside. I had to read a local newspaper to learn most of the details. Maybe this is what scared me the most—the descent of the media. They scooped up headlines and swarmed through the campus like a cavalry invasion. I couldn’t protect myself from being trampled.

But I organized my press conference, wrote a statement, all against the will of the officials. I wanted it over with as swiftly as possible. For the press my presence was almost superfluous; it was the story that counted—the twisted, bizarre headliner. A compromising photo, a brief comment was all they needed. I can’t say that I didn’t feel exploited by these friendly men and women with Nikons and with mikes clipped to their lapels. Suddenly they were allowed to destroy my established life because it was their “job.” Public figures should just expect it that way, I’ve been told. But the interesting thing is that—behind their flashbulbs, note pads, and video cameras—the reporters were scared, too. Their faces were desperately trying to mask their terror, awe, guilt. When I saw them assembled before me, I knew that these were the faces, the uncomfortable, fascinated eyes, that I would have to meet for the rest of my life. When I saw them waiting silently and solemnly for my statement, I knew I had to play cowboy—once again. I was Mother and they were to be reassured that nothing could interrupt my flow of life. If they wanted weakness, I wasn’t about to give it to them.

After the details were delivered and the crews went home, it was time to face the world. Until now, everyone had been kind, sympathetic, availing. My mother would take my hand and say, “Don’t worry.” The administration assured me that I was not alone and that they were available at a moment’s notice. Even the reporters I’d come to know would pat me on the back and say, “Hang in there, kid.” But their offerings only stressed the fact that I was completely alone.

I strapped on my backpack, put on my dirtiest jeans, and headed back to university life. People were pretty good about hiding much trace of interest. Some of my friends wanted to respect my privacy of the moment, some smiled and went their way. But I knew that there were two Jodie Fosters. There was one as large as the screen, a Technicolor vision with flowing blond hair and a self-assured smile. She was the woman they had all been watching. But the second Jodie was a vision only I knew. She was shrouded in bravado and wit and was, underneath, a creature crippled, without self-esteem, a frail and alienated being.

I went to classes, laughed, joked, pulled all the tricks to make everyone feel comfortable. I tried not to admit that I had noticed the change. I was a returning war hero to be paraded. But I didn’t want their awe. I didn’t want to be a political figure, a victim of society. So I limited myself to a few companions: the boy I loved and my assigned bodyguards.

With the boy I loved I sat most of the day at the window in the Cross Campus Library. We poked fun at and successfully alienated every person who walked by. We were obnoxious. This boy and I decided, in our self-destructive, eighteen-year-old subconscious, that we needed only each other, that the rest of the population was disappointingly affected by the events of the shooting. Neither of us stopped to think that it was we who were affected. We were both escaping through our intellect, not our emotions. It was I who had changed, not them. In time I asked myself, Why me? Why not someone like Brooke Shields? The question made me feel uglier—and the uglier I felt, the more difficult it was to resolve.

Six days after the shooting of the President I was onstage for the second and final weekend of my play, Getting Out . The Yale police were sent to guard the auditorium. At my request the audience was frisked for cameras. The cast was instructed that the show must go on ... no matter what. It was something I had to do, some damn foolish thing I had to prove to myself. No one could just change my life, my plans, without asking me. No one could keep me down. I’m really not sure whom I was trying to impress or what I was ever doing up there in the first place. I had sworn never to do theater at school. I was going to be anonymous, remember? But it was too late for that. As long as everyone was going to stare, I might as well play the game full out.

The show went on, with the squeaking walkie-talkies and the general awkwardness of the crowd. It was the best performance I had given. The audience applauded for reasons I am still unsure of. The rest of the cast was shaky. They knew that the people in the seats were laughing at the wrong lines and keeping their eyes conspicuously toward my end of the stage. The crowd wasn’t lying, they were simply impressed—as I had intended them to be. They were in awe. I was embarrassed for them. Why did they clap? Did it really mean anything at all to them?

The second performance of the play began. Click, click, click, I heard. I could recognize a motor drive on a professional camera better than my own heartbeat. It was coming from center left—a perfect position for anyone who had the pluck to get past the frisk in time to choose the most advantageous seat in the house. Well, you asked for it, I thought. My most vicious lines of the play were coming up and they were to be directed to this particular spot in the house. I decided that the villain was one of three people. I directed my character’s biting insults to all three, until my eyes narrowed to the bearded man in the middle. No, he was not the photographer. His hands were calmly folded and his eyes were fixed. But there was something unnerving about his emotionless stare, something I didn’t trust. He became the sole subject of my dialogue’s abuse; but he did not flinch—not once. The next night, again, I heard the click of the motor drive, coming from a different position in the house. The strange man I had noticed the night before was again in the same seat. “In theater,” the adage goes, “one is not supposed to glance through the audience, noticing who comes and goes, who sits where.” But I only knew movies. So I noticed every light change, every yawning friend, every item of clothing worn by every boy and girl, every bearded gentleman with a ceaseless stare.

At the third performance, no clicks and no bearded man were to be seen or heard. However, during intermission a note was found on the lobby bulletin board to the effect that “by the time the show is over, Jodie Foster will be dead.” I imagined something was amiss when the security guards were suddenly standing with their backs to the actors, surveying the crowd. The note had proved to be a prank, a devilish trick pulled by some bitter spectator who had found himself frisked by two college jocks at the entrance. It was ten-thirty. I was still alive, no harm done. In fact, I had made a bigger ordeal over a stray photographer: “How did you get in? Who do you work for?” (This was perhaps the beginning of a flash phobia that would follow me throughout the next year.) I found out a few weeks later that he had been let in by the producer of the play. The very same producer who confided to the press that I had a few acting problems that would iron themselves out with a little help. The tactless person who said, “At least the publicity did wonders for the receipts.” And, finally, the same producer who—as he explained with a British affectation he had picked up somewhere—let the photographer in “because … wahl … thar was simply nawthing I could doo. Sorry, luv.”

A few days after the show closed, a note was delivered under my door—a death threat in the finest sense of the term. I picked it up neatly by the corners and handed it over to the proper officials. My mother, who was leaving on the next plane to Paris, was frantic. She wanted to take me with her, “to stay ... to walk to classes with you ... anything!” She desperately wanted to protect me. I told her she was only making me nervous and that the rotating bodyguards were more qualified to watch me than she. This was my first life-crisis and I had to show the world that I could take it like a pro. That’s what they call you when you make it to the set at five-thirty a.m. and don’t complain.

The next morning I arrived at my English class a bit early. Five minutes later my man with the squeaky walkie-talkie told me to stay in the corner of the class until it ended. “Don’t move. I’ll be right next door.” It was an incredibly long class, it seemed. I spent it passing witty notes and doodling. My man came to me as it finally ended. “He has been apprehended.” Ap-pre-hended , I thought. Okay, apprehended. Who?

His name was Richardson, he was from Pennsylvania, and he had a beard. The police and Secret Service had worked nonstop tracking down the letter writer, found him, followed him to New Haven station, where he had boarded a bus bound for D.C. He was picked up at Port Authority in New York with a loaded gun, hoping to fulfill his threat to shoot the President. I was too pretty to kill, he had said as he was arrested. He saw me in my play and simply couldn’t. The bearded man in center left? Ten feet from death? Ten feet from a loaded pistol held by a sick and perhaps “insane” man? Ten feet? I don’t care to know for sure. Richardson was released a year later on parole.

Then it hit me. It felt like a ton of steel dropping from the top of a thirty-story building. Death. So simple, so elementary, so near. Pulling a trigger is as easy as changing the TV channel with remote control. What was I trying to prove by performing a college play three days after one of the most bizarre assassination attempts of our time? Who was I trying to impress? Why was it so important to look death in the eye and hurl victorious insults? Because I was the one who always found the chocolate basket on Easter morning? Because I always wanted to be the best, no matter what, no matter how?

Then it hit me. It felt like a ton of steel dropping from the top of a thirty-story building. Death. So simple, so elementary, so near.

In the time after Richardson’s “ap-pre-hension,” a great change came over me, or so I’m told. I started perceiving death in the most mundane but distressing events. Being photographed felt like being shot; it still does. I thought everyone was looking at me in crowds; perhaps they were. Every sick letter I received I made sure to read, to laugh at, to read again. People were punishing me because I was there . They were sending bullets, pulling triggers, exercising the simple law of cause and effect. They were hurting me, intentionally , without any physical contact. They were manifesting a need to wound, and I just happened to be the victim. They could seemingly witness the falling star—once stalwart and proud—bend to their aggression. The words, the threats, the accusations were irrelevant. They all wanted me to react, to stop playing cowboy; they wanted to bring me down to their level from the great silver screen.

I could feel death by alienating and insulting the people I loved or at least enjoyed. I could feel it by hating myself so much that I hated everyone around me for liking me. I died when I looked at myself in the mirror, the body that no longer slept, the clothes I no longer cared for, the mismatched socks, the tired expression, the reddened eyes, the languid stare. My prior identity—the actress, the enthusiastic collegiate—no longer existed. I became suspicious of everyone. I suppose I thought they were all informing for People magazine. There were a few, of course, who were. Maybe that People article of April 20, 1981, was the greatest death of all. An ambitious Yale senior, whom I have never met, submitted a manuscript People simply couldn’t turn down. He offered a scoop: what I was in the habit of wearing, my favorite eating places, my friends, my classes, my dating habits—the works. And this ambitious Yale senior confirmed what I was dreading—I had been watched. I was being watched from the first day I set foot on campus. They all noticed the color of my Dolfin shorts on the day of orientation. They had noticed which chair I preferred in the library. Strangers had scrutinized and analyzed me without my permission, even without my knowledge. No, the Hinckley ordeal did not destroy my anonymity; it only destroyed the illusion of it. Every man or woman in this world had the right to stare at, point at, and judge me because … that was my job. That’s what I got paid for—to take my lumps. I can be rejected for physical reality, the audience’s perception of who I am. Consequently, I become the property of my judges or I risk rejection.

When my freshman year came to an end in May 1981, I packed up my remnants from the “psycho single” I had been assigned—a single dorm room reserved for emergency security risks—and returned to L.A. For two weeks I went hiking and stayed at a health farm in the mountains. When I descended the mountain I jumped back to work. Things were essentially “normal.” People were afraid of me and for quite some time I made no effort to ease their awkwardness. I just listened and watched. I heard that Martin Scorsese had been phoned by Maureen Reagan, who expressed her condolences. Her condolences! I’d even heard he’d hired a bodyguard—something I refused to do. When people recognized me in the street they’d say, “So what, this guy write you letters or something?” They’d say, “Too bad,” or they’d say, “Great publicity, kid.” It all seemed so hilariously sad at the time. I smiled inside and felt pity for all of them—all the people who either thought they understood or thought they knew me. I felt sorry and embarrassed for them as they simultaneously felt sorry and embarrassed for me. It was a confusing time for everyone. And if this was show business, I wanted no part of it. I didn’t belong there. I didn’t belong anywhere—except at Yale, maybe. Maybe. In any case, I was glad that the shooting had happened while I was at school. Who knows what mistrust and violence I had avoided by removing myself from Hollywood. There’s something about a freeway at rush hour and backdrops of ghost towns that make L.A. untrustworthy. It simply isn’t a place you’d call familial or safe. If anything, Yale had been safe.

I went back to school in the fall and found everything back to normal. I started making efforts. I dressed better, I returned phone calls, I kept my room dusted and my toys in place. But by the end of the semester I found myself watching movies every night. I was getting restless. “Just school” wasn’t enough. As if by a stroke of fate, a script arrived, one I liked. A Manhattan location. Starring Peter O’Toole. A chance to sing. I was ecstatic ... and, for the first time in two years, in love with a project. And Svengali proved a thoroughly fun film. It made me fall in love with acting again. It cured me of most of the insecurities; it healed my wounds.

More than a year after the day of the shooting I found myself in a Washington, D.C., courtroom waiting to give my deposition. It was all very orderly, very efficient. I brought my briefcase and answered questions with a sobriety and cool that seemed appropriate. No one had told me before I arrived in Washington, of course, that Hinckley was to be present. But I played cowboy and got through it all the best way I knew how, thinking this would be the end of it.

The proceedings went smoothly; there seemed to be very few surprises concerning the case, or so I thought. I went to my hotel room alone, flicked on the Oscars, and watched the lights of Georgetown grow dim before me. And it was that moment, as I watched the suited dolls below my window and the Pan-Caked presenters doling out prizes, that I knew I wasn’t the only one playing cowboy. I thought about how every dealing with another human being was an unconscious act of bravado. You blink; I understand that you’re thinking. Human relationships are forms of acting, only the players aren’t aware of it. Interaction is a form of lying. So how can anyone trust the words “I’m not scared,” “I love you,” “Go to hell” if they are issued from the mouth of someone who can never be aware of his true feelings, of his underlying motives? Yes, I thought, we are all liars; it’s a human condition. I decided that night that good actors are essentially good liars. I raise my eyebrows, you think I’m sexy. I dart my eyes, you think I’m smart. Actors and nonactors all manipulate. An actor simply has more personalities and techniques to draw on. And more people to manipulate. But the most frightening thing is that when we “turn on” to the camera—when we insult it, make love to it, comfort it—we aren’t only manipulating a lens and some glass fragments. We’re talking to ten, twenty, or perhaps thirty million people. We’re manipulating and influencing them all with every careless gesture and gleaming smile. That’s art. That’s mass media. A man can buy a poster, pin it on his locker, and imagine the most minute details about a slinky starlet. He’ll know her through and through. He’ll possess her external reality. So of course Hinckley “knew” me. That woman on the screen was digging in her bag of tricks and representing herself for everyone to assess, to get to know, to take home. The most intriguing actors are those who hold back and keep something—whatever that may be—for themselves. They are at once tangible and intangible, accessible and inaccessible, readable and mysterious, friends and strangers. And people are both attracted and extremely angered by something they can’t quite “have,” whether it be a piece of chocolate cake, a multimillion-dollar corporation, or an aloof young actress. I guess you’d call it playing hard to get. I guess that’s what actors do. I guess that’s why other people often “love” them and sometimes feel obsessed by them.

Love . Quite a word. I am sorry for people who confuse love with obsession and hurt by those who have inflicted their confusion on me. Love should be sacred. It should be uttered in a soft breath, on misty mornings, in secret hideaways. Love does not exist without reciprocation, hugging that person and feeling the meeting of two minds, two hearts, two souls, two bodies. Obsession is pain and a longing for something that does not exist. John Hinckley’s greatest crime was the confusion of love and obsession. The trivialization of love is something I will never forgive him. His ignorance only prods me to say that he’s missing a great deal. Love is blissful. Obsession is pitiful, self-indulgent. This is a lesson I’ve learned. I’ll always be wary of people who proclaim their love for me. I know what love is. Do they? I’ve even been obsessed, which is—you’ll pardon the expression—insane. But any emotion carried to excess is insanity. Does that make it a legal defense? If so, we all stand acquitted. Why are people so afraid to admit that they have it in them? I could pull a trigger. Am I crazy?

Now it is all supposedly over. I walk down the streets, go about my business, and don’t look to see who’s following. I don’t look over my shoulder or sweat if I ride the subway. After a period of death-dodging you learn to believe that you’ve been picked for survival. Someone’s not going to let it happen. There have been too many almosts . Still, there are times. I was coming back from the Svengali set one night with tonsilitis and a broken clavicle and in a fit of depression. I’d had to dodge paparazzi by lying on the floor of the company station wagon and I couldn’t talk from laryngitis. It had been a bad day. So I stopped off for a coffee before packing myself into bed for a few days. It was six o’clock, rush hour, and the place was mobbed. Suddenly a flash of light blew up four inches from my nose. At four inches, the photographer was just trying to harass me. The next thing I knew I was running down Eleventh Street, crying and tearing at his down jacket and slugging away. I slipped on the ice, right on my clavicle, and lay in the street sobbing. The photographer laughed and yelled, “I got her! I got her!” I couldn’t talk because my throat and body throbbed with pain. I cried all the way home, all the way to my hotel room, all evening and into the night. I couldn’t stop. It hurt so much. I hurt so much. The only thing I could whisper through my wrenching sobs was “It’s not fair. It’s not fair.” Some days the anger and pain swell up in me and I can’t hold it in any longer. My mother will hold me tightly, my fists clenched around her neck, my tears staining her blouse. She’ll say, “ Sssh. I know. Everything’s going to be all right.” All I know to say is “It’s not fair! It just isn’t.”

Someday I will look back and muse upon the curiosities of history: acting and politics all mixed up together. Anything’s possible in a world in which media rules all. But for the time being the wounds still ache, the battle goes on. It seems that things calm down just as you think you can’t take any more. Then something else happens, some new event, and I find myself “taking it” once again. A stranger will approach me in the street and say, “Ain’t you the girl who shot the President?”

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Home Essay Samples Life

Essay Samples on Someone Who Inspires Me

At its core, inspiration is a powerful force that ignites passion, propels dreams, and molds individuals into extraordinary beings. It is the vibrant pulse that surges through our veins, pushing us to achieve greatness even in the face of adversity. Crafting an essay about someone who inspires you allows you to shine a spotlight on the transformative power of such individuals.

How to Write an Essay on Someone Who Inspires Me

Here are some useful example you shpuld consider when writing a college essay about someone who inspires you:

• Consider beginning with a heartfelt introduction that captivates the reader’s attention and sets the stage for the awe-inspiring journey to come.
• Share a personal anecdote or a defining moment that sparked the connection between you and your inspirational figure, allowing the reader to empathize with your experience.
• Delve into the qualities and actions that make this individual so inspiring. Explore their accomplishments, perseverance, and unwavering determination. Showcase how their words and deeds have impacted your life, shaping your values and aspirations. Be vivid and descriptive, illustrating the profound influence they have had on your personal growth and development.
• Weave in personal reflections throughout your essay. Share introspective thoughts and revelations, highlighting the lessons you have learned and the ways in which your perspective has evolved. By doing so, you invite the reader to embark on a transformative journey alongside you, creating a powerful emotional connection.

To aid you in your writing process, we provide a sample essay about someone who inspires you. It serves as a guiding light, illustrating the structure, tone, and depth needed to craft an outstanding piece. Drawing inspiration from this sample, embrace your unique voice, infuse your essay with passion, and let your words leave an indelible mark on the hearts and minds of the readers.

A Bond Beyond Words: Reflecting on My Relationship with Someone Special

There are moments in life when we cross paths with someone who transforms our world in inexplicable ways. For me, that person is someone special who has walked alongside me, sharing laughter, tears, and countless memories. Our relationship is a testament to the beauty of...

• Someone Who Inspires Me

A Beacon of Inspiration: A Descriptive Peace about the Person I Admire

Amidst the myriad of individuals who have crossed the path of my life, there is one who stands as a beacon of inspiration, illuminating the way with her unwavering determination, boundless compassion, and unyielding spirit. Her name is Emma, and her presence in my life...

A Person I Will Always Remember: My English Teacher

Throughout our lives, we encounter countless individuals who leave a lasting impact on us. Among them, there is always that one person who stands out — a person whose presence, actions, and words etch a permanent mark in our memories. In this essay, I will...

• Influential Person

My Grandmother as My Role Model: Her Role in Shaping My Identity

The identities of Americans are diversified. One’s identity is made up of a person's culture, heritage, personality, and how they strive to succeed. The identity of a person is created, through the hardships faced and their history, whether it is that one is born in...

• Grandmother
• Grandparent

My Role Model and My Heroes: Mother and Father

Heroes can have a massive superb have an effect on on your life. My heroes are my mother and my dad. They are heroes to me each day and I have continually seemed up to them. I have always wanted to be just like my...

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Audrey Hepburn: Life Of A Timeless Inspiration Of Mine

When I think of an individual who I look up to and aspire to emulate, the first person that comes to mind is Audrey Hepburn. Audrey Hepburn’s career in both entertainment and humanitarian work is a path I know I will follow because it is...

• Audrey Hepburn

Oprah Winfrey and Ariana Grande: Women That Inspire Me

Oprah Winfrey was born in Mississippi on January 29,1954. Her parents were not married and broke up soon after she was born. Oprah Winfrey’s grandmother was strict and gave her plenty of discipline as she grew up on an isolated farm. Her grandmother taught her...

• Oprah Winfrey

St. Bernadette: The Woman That Inspires Me

The qualities that St. Bernadette of Soubirous has that I admire are; being humble, being modest, being obedient, and loving. I admire these qualities because they make a person better. Saint Bernadette was modest and humble because, she didn’t brag about seeing Mother Mary, and...

• Catholic Church

Simone De Beauvoir One of the Greatest Woman

Simone-Ernestine-Lucie-Marie-Bertrand de Beauvoir was a French writer, political activist, feminist thinker and existentialist philosopher. She had worked alongside other famous existentialist such as Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus and Maurice Merleau-Ponty and was able to produce wonderful works such as She Came to Stay, Pyrrhus and...

• Existentialism
• Simone De Beauvoir

Ned Kelly: American Hero Or Villain

Ned Kelly was a bushranger and was born in June 1855 at Beveridge, Victoria. His father was John Kelly and his mother was Ellen Kelly. Ned became the father of his family at a very young age because of his fathers early death. In 1869...

Joan of Arc One of the Most Heroic Women in French History

Joan of Arc was one of the most heroic women in French history. She has claimed to hear voices that told her to lead France in the Hundred Years War leading France to some victories. Although some believe that the Joan of Arc heard the...

• Joan of Arc

Who Inspired Me to Become a Nurse

To me, nursing is a selfless job. You put the patients’ needs before yours to provide them with the care that they deserve. As a nurse, you are the healing hands. With the energy, compassion, and dedication you build with the patients, you make a...

• Life Changing Experience

Mary Kom, The Person Who Inspired Me to Pursue My Dreams

A question simply arises in my mind that how someone can be a great leader. I thought on this and then I came across various leadership qualities which leaders are having in them. Let me explain first about the leadership qualities. Leader is a word...

The People Who Shaped Me

At a young age of 7, I subconsciously started noticing my mom reminisce about her past and it made me see the way music connected her to her roots and in a way, made her human. It was waking up and witnessing a scene that...

Three People Who Influenced Me Throughout My Life

My parents are undeniably the people who gave me the most profound influence. I would not talk about them separately because they are truly in one flesh. My parents met each other at bible college, and after they married, they served in church and drug...

• Personal Life

Life Lessons in the Diary of Anne Frank

Anne Frank was a 13-year-old Jewish that has made a big impact on people around the world. Making us realize the crimes we create are destroying all of humanity just because some of us have different views and beliefs are certain things. If you don't...

• The Diary of Anne Frank

The Diary of Anne Frank by Frances Goodrich: An Inspiration to All  

How would one respond to the most miserable and unpromising situation? In The Diary of Anne Frank by Frances Goodrich and Albert Hackett, the main character, Anne Frank, is deprived of her freedom and forced to hide in a secret annex. As a Jewish girl...

Tara Curb, Her Acts of Kindness Association, and Her Unique Vision of Kindness

It is a late-afternoon, November 7, 2019, on a freezing thirty-five degree and gloomy Thursday at the University of Oklahoma Bizzell Memorial Library. In one of the conference rooms held a Acts of Kindness Association meeting. Running the organization meeting was a smart young woman,...

Biography of Jackie Robinson - National Hero

“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” (Jackie Robinson). In the United States in the 1940s, segregation was the way of life. You probably know Jackie Robinson as number 42; the first black man to play major league...

• Jackie Robinson

Life And Art Of Andy Warhol

I remember the first time I saw Andy Warhol’s artworks was about ten years ago at an exhibition in Taipei, Taiwan. At that time, I was not a big fan of Andy Warhol and I didn’t understand why all the works that only show some...

• Andy Warhol

Best topics on Someone Who Inspires Me

1. A Bond Beyond Words: Reflecting on My Relationship with Someone Special

2. A Beacon of Inspiration: A Descriptive Peace about the Person I Admire

3. A Person I Will Always Remember: My English Teacher

4. My Grandmother as My Role Model: Her Role in Shaping My Identity

5. My Role Model and My Heroes: Mother and Father

6. Audrey Hepburn: Life Of A Timeless Inspiration Of Mine

7. Oprah Winfrey and Ariana Grande: Women That Inspire Me

8. St. Bernadette: The Woman That Inspires Me

9. Simone De Beauvoir One of the Greatest Woman

10. Ned Kelly: American Hero Or Villain

11. Joan of Arc One of the Most Heroic Women in French History

12. Who Inspired Me to Become a Nurse

13. Mary Kom, The Person Who Inspired Me to Pursue My Dreams

14. The People Who Shaped Me

15. Three People Who Influenced Me Throughout My Life

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Why This College Essay Sample

Why this college essay sample – introduction.

Not sure how to start a “why this college” essay? Looking for a why this college essay sample? You’re in luck. We’ve compiled a collection of standout why school essay examples from a variety of schools to help you prepare to write your own why this college essay.

Throughout the admissions process, you’ll likely write “why this college” essays for many schools on your list. These prompts ask you to cite specific reasons why you’d like to attend a given school. As you start writing these essays, it can be tough to know where to start.

In this guide, we’ve included a variety of “why school” essay examples. Our why school essay examples come from many different schools—ten, to be exact. We hope these essay examples can help you prepare to write your own why this college essay.

We’ll review a “why this college” essay sample from each of the following schools and explain what made it effective.

We’ll look at why school essay examples from:

• University of Chicago
• Georgia Institute of Technology
• Wake Forest University
• Tufts University
• Lewis & Clark College
• Loyola Marymount University
• Duke University
• Franklin & Marshall College
• University of Florida
• Lafayette College

What are examples of Why School essay prompts?

Before we take a look at our why this college essay examples, let’s start with the prompts. You’ll notice that our why this college essay examples have a lot in common. Namely, each why this college essay sample discusses specific details why a student belongs at a given school.

Still, you should note that each why this college essay sample is different. Each essay responds to their own why this college essay sample prompt. While these prompts have a lot in common, you’ll notice some key differences.

Essay prompts change

As you read our why college essay examples, you may notice that the prompts are slightly different from those below. That is because some schools change their prompts in different years.

At times, colleges will also eliminate prompts entirely. Certain schools, like Franklin & Marshall and Lewis & Clark , no longer require a why this college essay. However, we have still included why college essay examples for these schools. By reading these why this college essay samples, you can learn more about how to approach this type of prompt.

Now, let’s look at some prompts in the table of why this college essay examples below. 

As you can see from our why school essay examples prompts, not every prompt is as open-ended as “why this school.” So, compare each school’s why this college essay examples and prompt. Then, you’ll notice certain similarities and differences. You can apply this knowledge as you draft your own essays.

By reading through our “why college” essay examples, you’ll also familiarize yourself with the different prompts you might encounter. You can approach any prompt that references a school itself, either generally or specifically ( academics , curriculum, culture, etc.). You can see this in our why college essay examples prompts.

Different schools, different prompts

Some of the prompts are quite straightforward. They simply ask the question you’ll see answered in our why college essay examples: “Why this school?”

Other prompts, however, are a bit more leading. These might ask students about their chosen majors and how they align with a school’s values. They may also ask why a specific school will help them achieve their goals.

In all of our “why college” essay examples, you’ll notice that the prompts discuss each school by name. You’ll find questions like “why are you applying” and “how did you learn about us?” in these prompts. However, each of these boil down to the same essential question: why are you a good fit for our school?

Next, we’ll look at how our why college essay examples answer this question. But first, let’s take a look at a handful of schools and their essay prompts. This will help you understand how your why this college essay sample fits into your application strategy.

Which schools require a Why This College essay?

As you’ll see from our why school essay examples, many schools require a why this college essay sample. Our why this college essay examples include many schools, but this list isn’t exhaustive. So, do your own research to see if each school on your list requires a why this college essay.

The good news is many of our why school essay examples prompts are very similar. So, wherever you apply , our why college essay examples are great resources to reference as you write your own why school essay.

To get you started, here are some of the schools that require a why this college essay. You’ll find some why this college essay examples for these schools below. Others, you can check out in our school-specific essay guides :

Top Universities with a Why School Essay

• Northwestern
• American Unviersity

Why college essay examples for some of these schools didn’t make it into our list of college essays that worked. However, we still wanted to mention a few more schools that require a why this college essay.

More Why School Essay Examples Guides to Explore

Why northwestern.

Northwestern University has a two-part “why this college” essay sample prompt. They want to know what resources, opportunities, and/or communities you plan to engage with on campus. They also want to know how these offerings may enrich your time at Northwestern and beyond.

Why Barnard

The why this college essay sample prompt for Barnard College is a little more open-ended. Similar to other schools, Barnard asks what factors led you to apply at Barnard. They also ask you to share why you think Barnard will be a good match for you.

Yale University’s why this college essay sample prompt is similar to Barnard’s: “What is it about Yale that has led you to apply?” This is your opportunity to get specific about why Yale excites you. It also lets you share what you hope to take advantage of on campus.

Why Dartmouth

Dartmouth College’s why this college essay sample prompt asks students “Why Dartmouth?”—a classic why school prompt. Similar to Northwestern’s prompt, Dartmouth’s specifically asks what aspects of their academic program, community, or campus environment attract you.

Brown University asks students to describe their academic interests and how they might use Brown’s Open Curriculum to pursue them. In this instance, since the curriculum is specific to Brown, you can think of this prompt in two parts. First, what do you want to study, and second, why do you want to study it at Brown? In this way, this essay is a why this college essay, so should also be our list.

Why This College Essay Examples

You can use our why school essay examples to help you begin to write your why school essays. Each of our college essays that worked was chosen because it is a strong and compelling “why this college” essay sample.

If you haven’t had the opportunity to read a why this college essay sample, you’re in luck. Take some time to read some below from over ten schools. These include our UF supplemental essay examples, Tufts essays that worked, Georgia Tech essay examples, why Duke essay examples, and more.

Why this college essay sample #1- UChicago

The University of Chicago is well-known for its quirky supplemental essay requirements. Among those you can expect to find some kind of Why This College essay. Below is an example of how one student crafted their response.

Why UChicago Essay Examples

How does the university of chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to uchicago. (1-2 pages).

The best thing about the University of Chicago is its subtle inconspicuousness. The ivy leagues and big select schools all have a stereotype/reputation it holds in the public eye that is difficult to live up to. Go to Harvard? Oh, you must be the smartest person ever! Go to UC Berkeley, MIT?  You must be the greatest genius the world has ever seen. But when U Chicago is mentioned, most people find it difficult to generalize the institution as anything outside of “top university” or “prestigious school.” This is because while universities at the forefront of media attention are some of the best in the United States, such overexposure lends itself to negative connotations that cannot be escaped.

I myself knew little about U Chicago, but soon came to realize how great knowing little could actually be in the grand scheme of things.

Everything starts with the amazing education system U Chicago prides itself on. Core Curriculum allows for students to really engage in critical thinking with an expanded view of the world and how it works. Students at U Chicago are not there for the perceived prestige or bonus points you get from attending a top university, they’re there to learn, and not just learn for the final exam and forget. They are there to learn and continue to use their gained knowledge as they expound upon it throughout their journey through schooling and life.

In high school and in my time taking community college courses, I haven’t been exposed to these types of students. People take courses just to put a check mark on the list, and I have been doing the same because it’s what required and it’s all I’ve ever known. There was never an opportunity to take specialized courses and as a result, my classmates’ zeal for knowledge acquisition has never been awakened. Though I try to satisfy my curiosities through articles and books, there was never anyone to discuss it with in depth without one of us leaving frustrated.

Though I plan to major in a Neuroscience-related program as a pre-medical student, I want to be able to learn new languages, Norwegian mythology, the situation of public health; anything that has piqued my interests for multiple years but remained untouched due to circumstances. I like that U Chicago forbids students from taking courses solely for their major and requires them to spend a large portion of their time in the Core Curriculum in order to make this happen.

Instead of dealing with constant pressure from society, students at U Chicago are free to pursue their passions without fear of judgment or stereotype. With the focus on education where it belongs, the overall atmosphere at the institution is laid-back and does not add stress to the rigorous course load.

A secret utopia of sorts, U Chicago sets an invincible foundation that will exponentially increase the vitality of a person in any field of work or practice and I want to be a part of that.

Explaining why this essay worked

This is one of our Why UChicago essay examples and one of our first college essays that worked. In it, the author reflects on UChicago’s academic values and culture. This “why this college” essay sample highlights the type of student that thrives at UChicago. It also shows how this student’s values align with UChicago’s.

As you’ll see in our other why school essay examples, this writer mentions specific qualities about UChicago’s Core Curriculum. They foreground how it will allow them to pursue all of their academic interests. In doing so, this student makes a strong case for why they belong at UChicago.

If you want to read another why this college essay sample, check out our guide . There, you’ll find more UChicago why school essay examples.

Why this college essay sample #2 – Georgia Tech

The second why this college essay sample we are sharing is Why School essay from Georgia Tech. Georgia Tech only requires one supplemental essay and it is a Why This College essay. Let’s look at how one student responded to the prompt below.

Georgia Tech Essay Examples

Why do you want to study your chosen major at georgia tech, and what opportunities at georgia tech will prepare you in that field after graduation (300 words).

March 29, 2019. 11 AM EST. GT Shadow Day. I remember it all so clearly: Descending the red-brick steps of the Old Civil Engineering Building. My friend and I, chatting up a storm, our minds blown by our newfound perspectives. 

We had just walked out of ECON-4060: Money & Capital Markets. To say that it changed my life would be no exaggeration; within an hour, The professor had upended my perception of society and defined my future aspirations. 

We had been asked to consider a popular commodity, diamonds. Hardly rare, fast-decaying, and intrinsically worthless. So why do we buy them? The professor had then illuminated the factors in our economic behavior that cause us to gift a ring in marriage rather than something with real value, say a treasury bond. These realizations were enough to rock me back on my heels, for I had never before noticed the large degree to which our everyday economic decision-making is irrational.

Craving more than that one splendid hour, I knew where and what I wanted to study for the next four years. I saw myself strolling through Bobby Dodd Way, bumping into old friends as I made my way to Midtown Atlanta. I saw myself exploring the realm of economics, probing questions ranging from price formation to income disparity. I saw myself at a place that felt familiar enough to call “home,” learning in a way that felt genuine enough to call “discovery.”

Educating myself on the mechanics of economics is just a glimpse of my great desires. Through the senior research project, I seek the one-on-one guidance of faculty in yielding a publishable journal paper. Someday, with the support of the program’s alumni network, I plan to pursue career and internship opportunities in the great company headquarters of Atlanta.

Why did this Georgia Tech essay work?

This is one of our favorite Georgia Tech essay examples because the writer drops us into a story that defines their interest in attending Georgia Tech. This “why this college” essay sample has a delightful and passionate tone. It communicates the writer’s interest in economics, passion for learning, and desire to explore these ideas at Georgia Tech.

Once again specificity is key (something you’ll continue to see in our other why school essay examples). This writer mentions Bobby Dodd Way, which is a street on campus. They also discuss opportunities for a senior research project and the specific professor and class that inspired them.

Why this college essay sample #3 – Wake Forest

Our next college essay that worked is from Wake Forest University.

Why Wake Forest Essay Examples

How did you become interested in wake forest university and why are you applying (150 words) .

Each time I return to campus, I see a true fit between myself and Wake Forest. I will dedicate myself to furthering the university motto, pro humanitate, by actively working with the Volunteer Service Corps and continuing my community service of providing for the basic needs of others. In addition, I will engage in the world around me and pursue a minor in Spanish while studying abroad in Salamanca, Spain; since I am currently taking AP Spanish, the language and cultural immersion would advance my fluency and expand my exposure to other cultures. In the diverse and intellectual community of Wake Forest, I will continue to pursue my goals with natural curiosity while growing as a leader in the service of others. Wake Forest is the window into the endless possibilities of my future.

Why this Wake Forest essay worked

This why this college essay sample shows how to successfully and succinctly write a why this college essay. Just like in our longer why school essay examples, this writer combines values, academics, and specificity. In doing so, they show how Wake Forest will impact their continued growth and future goals.

College essays that worked #4 – Tufts

Why tufts essay examples, “why tufts” (150 words).

I fell in love with Tufts immediately upon entering the Granoff Music Center. Standing in the lofty, sunlit atrium, I imagined being there with my enormous ekantha-veena gathered in my arms. Catching sight of the World Music Room, the glistening Indonesian gamelan housed inside—I knew that both my instrument and I would feel right at home at Tufts.

After all, Tufts is the type of school that embraces women who play instruments twice their size and, moreover, actually listens to their music.

Tufts provides women like me ample space in the music center, as well as on ground-breaking research teams such as the Sandler International Research Program; or access to intimate classroom settings with faculty such as one key professor whose dissertations are lauded by the American Sociological Association.

Tufts is a place where both the young woman and her ekantha-veena, her music and her ideas, will be heard.

This why this college essay sample prompt from Tufts admissions is extremely simple. In fact, this essay is one of our Tufts essays that worked because of its simplicity. We imagine Tufts admissions gravitated towards this essay because it reveals the writer’s passion for music. It also highlights the type of research and culture they’d like to engage with at Tufts.

Check out Tufts admissions page for more why Tufts essay examples and advice on Tufts essays that worked.

Why this college essay sample #5- Lewis and Clark

Lewis & clark supplemental essay example, lewis & clark college is a private college with a public conscience and a global reach. we celebrate our strengths in collaborative scholarship, international engagement, environmental understanding and entrepreneurial thinking. as we evaluate applications, we look for students who understand what we offer and are eager to contribute to our community. in one paragraph, please tell us why you are interested in attending lewis & clark and how you will impact our campus..

For the last eighteen years, my dad has repeated the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” at least once a week, attempting to satisfy my unrelenting curiosity. In response, I’ve adopted the mantra “but knowledge brought him back.” At Lewis and Clark College, I seek to fulfill my intense interest about the workings of society by conducting sociology research on issues in urban areas under one professor at Lewis and Clark. This research will also support my plans to perform an independent study on the aspects of criminal justice in urban environments, as the unique tensions in cities often affect the role of criminal justice.

I’ve read countless books on America’s legal system and wish to use sociology to analyze the factors that influence how justice is carried out. My unwavering curiosity also extends to my adoration of architecture, so the chance to explore my fascination with urban design through a self-designed major at Lewis and Clark deeply excites me. I know that creating my own course of study will enable me to explore my curiosity about urban history and planning. Furthermore, the chance to double major will allow me to combine architecture and social perspective and explore the connections between my majors.

The freedom to study both sociology and urban architecture at Lewis and Clark will give me a distinctive perspective on the artistic and social issues that are present in Portland and other major cities. Another opportunity that excites me is the chance to study abroad in Seville, Spain.

I am particularly enthusiastic about the ability to use my sociology and architecture education to explore a unique geographical area. Classes such as Art History of Spain will supplement my concentration on urban architecture, while Contemporary Issues of Spain will allow me to study the sociological aspects of a different culture. I also plan to study Spanish in college, so living with a host family gives me the unique ability to practice Spanish around the clock.

I believe that studying abroad in Seville, Spain through Lewis and Clark will enable me to engage in many unforgettable learning experiences. Finally, Lewis and Clark is bursting with non-traditional learning opportunities outside of the classroom. I can’t wait to learn a new skill by joining the sailing team and debating moral theories with the philosophy club.

I believe that there is no better place for me to study sociology and architecture because Lewis and Clark’s emphasis on diversity and international study are values that align perfectly with my interests.

Exploring the strengths of this essay

The Lewis and Clark College acceptance rate is higher than that of some other top schools. Still, you can tell how much thought and care this writer put into their “why this college” essay sample. Since the Lewis and Clark College acceptance rate is 79% , you might think crafting a strong supplemental essay would be easy. However, you can tell the writer of this “why this college” essay sample took their time time. In their essay, they weave a clear and compelling story about their interests and how Lewis & Clark will allow them to pursue those interests.

No matter a school’s acceptance rate, whether it is lower or higher than the Lewis and Clark College acceptance rate, make sure you take the time with every essay you write to make it the best it can be.

Why this college essay sample #6 – Loyola Marymount

Loyola marymount essay example, please briefly state your reason for wishing to attend lmu and/or how you came to select your major. (500 words).

Whether I’m bustling through people in the Metro station, taking a leisurely stroll on the beach, or studying at my local cafe, I embrace the sights, sounds, and people of Los Angeles. Though I was born in New York, I am a true L.A. native: the sunset is my muse, and my dreams are ambitious (I want to cure cancer, win a Pulitzer-Prize, and walk the red carpet, simultaneously).

Even if I don’t accomplish all of these things, I am encouraged by the fact that they are all possibilities at LMU. With a unique fusion of academic excellence, strong communal identity, and a faith-based education, LMU would prepare me to be an innovative and compassionate leader in the real world.

Reflective of L.A.’s rich cultural diversity, LMU offers students a wide array of resources. For one thing, the student to teacher ratio is 10:1, which enhances learning by fostering personal relationships with professors and peers. Furthermore, it creates a collaborative group environment, something I consider integral to my education. Secondly, as someone who is passionate about both Chicano/Latino studies and Biology, I was excited to discover that with LMU’s major and minor policy, I would be able to study both, even if they are located in different colleges.

Ultimately, I want to become a doctor, possibly a neurologist, hence my desire to major in biology. With a broad course list–encompassing everything from Immunology to Animal Behavior– and intensive, faculty-mentored research, LMU’s biology program will enable me to pursue my passion for science. At the same time, I wish to apply my medical studies to serving a greater purpose.

This is why I’ve chosen to minor in Chicano Studies. I have always taken great pride in my ethnicity, so being able to examine the Latino identity through political, historical, and cultural lenses would enrich how I understand myself and the entire Latino/a community.

The final and most important reason why I want to attend LMU is its emphasis on serving the community and the world at large. Being a practicing Catholic myself, it is important to me that faith be integrated in my education, not only because it is a part of my own identity, but because it nurtures both spiritual and personal growth. At my current high school, I have encountered and conversed with students of different faiths, or even no faith, who fully embrace the spirit of community service that characterizes Christianity.

This is what I admire most about LMU; regardless of ethnicity, socioeconomic status, or religion, LMU embraces everyone and teaches students to do the same. In short, LMU would not only augment my love of service, it would propel me forward in my mission: to be a woman of great heart and right conscience for others.

With a higher word count, this is one of our longer why school essay examples. This writer likely captured the attention of Loyola Marymount admissions with their eloquence and ambition.

While there’s no one right way to impress Loyola Marymount admissions, showcasing the school’s unique programs will help show them why attending Loyola is vital to your future. This why this college essay sample touches on LMU’s faith-based curriculum, and biology and chicano studies programs, and why they are important to this writer.

Why this college essay sample #7 – Duke

Duke University is another school that asks students Why This College as part of their supplemental essay requirements. Take a look at the essay that worked below for some ideas about how to write your Why Duke essay.

Why Duke Essay Examples

What is your sense of duke as a university and a community, and why do you consider it a good match for you  if there’s something in particular about our offerings that attracts you, feel free to share that as well. (250 words).

At Duke University, I would get the opportunity to immerse myself in interests that I harbored but never had the opportunity to explore due to circumstances. With incredible resources from world-renowned professors, I would learn directly from the best in any subject, and be able to use this advantage to further myself in my future career plans and goals.

The quality of my education, though attributed to the institution, would be the most highly enriched from the students. Although from diverse backgrounds, all the students share the same thirst for knowledge and a drive to make a difference. With the focus on education where it belongs, the overall atmosphere at the institution is collaborative and does not add stress to the rigorous course load.

A secret utopia of sorts, Duke sets an invincible foundation that will exponentially increase the vitality of a person in any field of work or practice.

Why this essay worked

This is one of our favorite why Duke essay examples because it highlights the people this writer plans to learn from at Duke: their professors and their fellow students. Surprisingly, this is probably one of the least specific why school essay examples. However, this writer still successfully manages to capture their passion for learning and how excited they are to pursue these goals on Duke’s campus.

Want more why Duke essay examples and tips on how to approach this “why this college” essay sample prompt? Check out our Duke University Essay Guide .

Why this college essay sample #8 – University of Florida

Uf supplemental essay examples, the university of florida honors program is a “community of scholars” bound together by a shared interest in maximizing the undergraduate experience. why are you drawn to this type of community at uf, and how do you plan to contribute to it in and out of the classroom.

Anyone who’s ever played a high school sport can attest to the fact that every coach has his or her own catchphrase. For some coaches, it might be “always give 110%”. Others say, “You miss every shot you don’t take.”

My 10th grade basketball coach? His catchphrase was more like a repeated lecture. It would start off as “This team is made up of different personalities.” Pause. “80% of you are pulled either up or down by your teammates. 10% of you have negative energy and bring everyone down.” Pause and sigh. “And then there’s the last 10%. You guys are the ones who carry this team with positive energy. So what percent do you want to be tonight?”

His rhetorical questions seemed like another pep talk to the rest of my team but would always strike a chord within me. From that basketball season and on, I strived to be the 10% pulling everyone positively. 

My reformed attitude taught me many things. I learned how productive and influential a positive force on a team can be. I learned something about myself too: wherever I went to college, I wanted to be in a team-like environment. A close-knit group of scholars full of diverse perspectives, but all striving towards the same common goal: gaining knowledge. 

This is what I see in the UF Honors Program. The opportunity to be surrounded by like minded people. People who are all part of that 10% who pull you up. People who are genuinely interested in learning, research, and discussion. To be able to walk into a room with overlapping conversations about an intellectual topic like the current economic status of Dubai or the psychosocial issues in the United States is something I crave in my college experience.

Not only do I envision myself in a place like this, but I also see a platform which will give me great opportunities, beginning with peers who share the same academic drive as me and smaller class sizes, which result in profound discussions. I hope to be given an opportunity to walk onto this platform and show everyone just how high I can raise it.

Why this UF Honors Program essay worked

It’s important to note that a why this college essay sample is not necessarily a required portion of your UF application. You only need to submit a why this college essay with your UF application if you apply to the UF Honors Program.

However, we still included this “why this college” essay sample as part of our why school essay examples because this writer beautifully described the kind of student and community member they hope to be at UF. They highlight a personal story—a moment where they grew and learned a valuable lesson. Then, they combine it with what they hope to find in UF’s honors community. 

Why this college essay sample #9 – Franklin & Marshall

Franklin & marshall essays.

A Franklin and Marshall education is in line with my commitment to stimulate and chronicle a more just world through health, justice, and activism for marginalized people locally and internationally in a way that giving a check never could. 

I would be able to synthesize my fascination with medicine and people by seeking out experiences in biomedical research and patient care through the Quick Response Service organization as an EMT responder for the Lancaster community. Most importantly, I can investigate a breadth of topics to a much fuller extent than I can at any other institution.

With a Franklin and Marshall acceptance rate of 38% , this is considered a more selective school. However, the Franklin and Marshall acceptance rate should not affect your why this college essay. Also, as you craft your Franklin and Marshall application, note that the university no longer requires a Why School essay. Still, this essay provides a useful blueprint for other why school essay samples.

Rather than focusing on the Franklin and Marshall acceptance rate, you’ll want to review the supplemental essay requirements . Then, use the prompt to articulate the benefits of receiving an education from Franklin and Marshall. In order to gain acceptance to Franklin and Marshall, you should focus on what attending this particular college means to you.

Why this college essay sample #10- Lafayette College

Our final why this college essay sample, is from Lafayette College. A Why School essay is the cornerstone of Lafayette College’s supplemental essay requirements. Let’s take a look at an example from a student accepted to Lafayette.

Why Lafayette College Essay Examples

Students identify lafayette as an excellent fit for countless reasons. in your response, be deliberate and specific about your motivation for applying to lafayette. why do you see yourself at lafayette (200 words).

“If you were to be accepted to every college in the country, which one would you choose above all others?” An admissions officer prompted the room with this question early in my college search. Back then, I didn’t know the answer, but now it’s a obvious choice: Lafayette.

When I visited Lafayette, I’d already seen 15 colleges. However, when I toured campus, I instantly felt a difference in the school and the students themselves. Everyone looked truly happy to be there, especially considering the people I saw were remaining at school during break while their peers returned home.

When I looked around, I saw people I could imagine myself befriending and spending time with, something I struggled to find at other institutions. I later connected with my tour guide, who also happened to be a Civil Engineering major. I’m interested in pursuing an architecture minor, and she told me about a project in her Architectural Engineering class in which students design bus stops with features like charging stations or mini libraries. I appreciated that she took time to email me, and her genuine enthusiasm about her classes was infectious. With that email, I cemented my decision to apply.

There’s a difference between being busy and being engaged. Lafayette comes alive each day with the energy of students who are deeply engaged in their academic, co-curricular and extracurricular explorations.

Of all of our why school essay examples, this why this college essay sample discusses an actual experience the student had on campus. In truth, this is a great strategy. Using this topic, admissions gets to hear about how they connected with a student. They also learn how this student already sees themself as part of the student community.

Like many of our other why school essay examples, this writer follows a strong structure. They started with a personal story, sprinkled in specific and valuable details, and ended with a big-picture summary of “Why this school.”

How To Write A Why This College Essay

We’ve read some outstanding why school essay examples, including Why Duke essay examples, Tufts essays that worked, and more. Next, let’s talk about how to write your own why this college essay.

At times, you’ll find a “why this college” essay sample or two with a longer word count. However, most of our why school essay examples prompts have a smaller word limit. So, you generally need to be succinct when writing a why this college essay. For some students, this may mean writing your initial draft without worrying about the word count, then editing your draft down to the most important parts.

Do your research

Before you get into writing your why this college essay sample, we recommend getting to know more about the school you are applying to. One of the most important things you can do to prepare to write your why this college essay sample is to spend time researching specific aspects of the school that align with your candidate profile.

For example, let’s say you’re a student who wants to study engineering , you want a big school, and you’re also passionate about doing your own research. As you begin your college search , you’d want to look for schools that meet all of your needs. Once you have a list of potential schools , do some research into each school and their requirements. Watch webinars , read guides about meeting application requirements, like what is a good SAT score and test-optional colleges , and guides about approaching your college application essays . 

How to Start a Why This College Essay

Next, let’s go over how to start a “why this college” essay. The beginning of your essay is always the most important because it can draw your reader in and make them want to read more. We have tons of guides to help you through every step of the writing process. So, after reading through our why school essay examples, take a look at exercises to help determine a college essay topic and what admissions officers think of 3 common college essay topics.

Once you have a topic for your why this college essay sample, take a look at our 39 essay tips . These helpful tips are from our admissions experts. We also have a resource with tips on how to craft your college essay . Then, when you’re ready to start editing your essay, check out our advice on making your essays shine .

Use these examples to help brainstorm

We’ve reviewed a variety of why this college essay examples. By reading these examples, we hope you got some insight into how to write a why this college essay. These why school essay examples are college essays that worked. That is, they used specific details to show why an applicant was a perfect fit for a given school. Each why this college essay sample is slightly different—and every student is, too. So, use our why school essay examples as a jumping-off point.

We can’t include a why this college essay sample from every school in our college essays that worked roundup. But, keep reading to the end of the guide for more CollegeAdvisor.com resources full of why school essay examples. These resources include: why Northwestern essay examples and why Yale essay examples. They also include why NYU essay examples and a why Barnard essay example.

Other CollegeAdvisor Resources on Why This College Essays

If you’re looking for a why this college essay sample for a school we haven’t touched on, you’re in luck! We have “why school” essay examples for a ton of top schools that are sure to be on your college list. These why this college essay examples will be just as helpful as the ones we’ve already covered, like our Tufts essays that worked, Georgia Tech essay examples, and why Duke essay examples.

First, we have our why Northwestern essay examples. This guide offers two why Northwestern essay examples and a breakdown of what made each essay so impactful.

Why Northwestern Essay Examples

Then, check out our why Barnard essay example page. In addition to a why Barnard essay example, you can get some application tips. The article also covers information about Barnard’s acceptance rate and essay requirements.

Barnard Essay Examples

Next, stop by our Why Yale essay examples guide. The why Yale essay examples cover all three Yale supplemental essay requirements. These include the essays about your potential majors and a topic or idea that excites you.

Why Yale Essay Examples

Finally , read some Why NYU essay examples (and why they worked). Each of our why NYU essay examples is accompanied by feedback from an ex-admissions officer on why the essay worked.

NYU Essay Examples (And Why They Worked)

Why This College Essay Sample – Final Thoughts

After reading our why school essay examples, we hope you have a better sense of what a “why this college” essay sample should include. We also hope it can help you go about writing your own. While there is no perfect formula for writing your supplemental essays , don’t forget to take advantage of all of the resources available to you. 

If you’re nervous to begin writing your why this college essay sample, don’t worry! Each of our “why school” essay examples was written by a student just like you that managed to gain a college acceptance letter from their dream school. All it takes is time, patience, and dedication to making your college essays the best they can be. To find more examples of college essays that worked, check out our personal statement examples .

This essay guide was written by Stefanie Tedards. Looking for more admissions support? Click  here  to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. I n fact, d uring your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how  CollegeAdvisor.com  can support you in the college application process.

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How to Write the “Why This College” Essay (With an Example!)

Varonika Ware is a content writer at Scholarships360. Varonika earned her undergraduate degree in Mass Communications at Louisiana State University. During her time at LSU, she worked with the Center of Academic Success to create the weekly Success Sunday newsletter. Varonika also interned at the Louisiana Department of Insurance in the Public Affairs office with some of her graphics appearing in local news articles.

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Bill Jack has over a decade of experience in college admissions and financial aid. Since 2008, he has worked at Colby College, Wesleyan University, University of Maine at Farmington, and Bates College.

Maria Geiger is Director of Content at Scholarships360. She is a former online educational technology instructor and adjunct writing instructor. In addition to education reform, Maria’s interests include viewpoint diversity, blended/flipped learning, digital communication, and integrating media/web tools into the curriculum to better facilitate student engagement. Maria earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in English Literature from Monmouth University, an M. Ed. in Education from Monmouth University, and a Virtual Online Teaching Certificate (VOLT) from the University of Pennsylvania.

Applying to college is a big decision that brings a lot of excitement and stress. This is especially true when it comes to answering the “why this college” prompt asked by so many colleges. However daunting these prompts might seem, you got this. Keep reading to learn tips and tricks to write your “why this college” essay, and take a look at an example essay!

“Why this college?” essay prompts 

The “Why this college?” essay is probably one of the most common essays you’ll come across during your application process. This is partially because admissions committees want students that’re as interested and passionate about their institution. Some popular colleges that offer “why this college?” prompts include:

• Columbia University : “Why are you interested in attending Columbia University? We encourage you to consider the aspect(s) that you find unique and compelling about Columbia. (150 words or fewer)
• Duke University : “What is your sense of Duke as a university and a community, and why do you consider it a good match for you? If there is something in particular about our offerings that attracts you, feel free to share that as well. (max. 250 words)”
• University of Michigan : “Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests?” (Minimum: 100 words/Maximum: 550 words)

As you can see, all three of the prompts are a variation of the basic “why this college” question. Let’s take a look at a sample response essay written for Columbia University. 

“Why this college?” sample essay

Dear Columbia University, 

This is probably the hundredth essay you’ve read in the sea of applicants, and as you’re likely expecting, I could tell you that I’m different from them all. Though in some ways, I’m the same. Like them, I want to stand on the corner of Broadway and 116th St. and know I chose the perfect school to study literary arts with a focus on fiction writing. 

Even more so, I strive to be one of the Columbia Greats that inspired me to pick up a pen. Though, you shouldn’t want me because I might be the next Allen Ginsberg, but because I plan on being a writer that captures the virtue found in the rye of J.D. Salinger, the watchful gaze of Zora Neale Hurston, and the freshness of my own style. Amongst your walls and tutelage, these literary greats blossomed, as I hope to.

Applicant Name

Why this essay works:

• Starts with a compelling statement to interest the audience
• Answers the “why this college?” question by discussing notable alumni and the arts program
• Uses a unique approach to the prompt question that reflects interest in the major of choice
• Explains why the admissions committee should choose this applicant
• Stays within the word count limit

Also see: How to respond to this year’s Common App essay prompts

Mistakes to avoid when writing a “why this college” essay

Generalizing.

When writing any essay, generalizing usually isn’t the way to go. Readers want to get invested in the story or argument you’re presenting, and the admissions office is no different. Details are a key component of making your essay stand out. 

The admissions committee wants to get to know you and assess how you’ll fit into their institution. No two applicants are the same, and you should strive to prove that through your unique essay. 

Placating the admissions office

It can be easy to fall back on simply telling your college’s admissions committee what they want to hear. However, you shouldn’t just pull facts and figures from the website or quote the college’s brochure. Individualize your essay not only to capture the attention of your reader, but to display interest in your college of choice.

Anyone can put general information in their application, but it takes effort to explain why you want to attend a particular school, how admission would affect your life, and what the school has to gain from your attendance. Think of it as a persuasive essay where you have to back up your argument with details. 

Also see: An insider’s perspective into what goes on in college admissions offices

Tips for writing your essay

Find a connection.

Even before you start writing your essay, figure out the connection between you and your college of choice. 

Is there a particular professor you want to study under? Are you a legacy applicant? Is it the campus of your dreams? Are you excited for a particular program? 

Asking yourself questions like this can help pinpoint what’s motivating you to apply to a university and why they should admit you. Explaining your connection to your school of choice can show the admissions committee that you belong on their campus. 

It will strengthen your application and help you individualize your application. Create an interesting or anecdotal story out of your connection in order to set yourself apart.

Also see: How to write an essay about yourself

Outline and edit

College essays usually range from around 200 – 500 words, which can go by much quicker than you might think. This is why it’s ideal to outline your essay once you’ve decided what to write about. It can be easy to get distracted by the little details, but emphasize the main points that are essential to the story you’re trying to tell the admissions office. 

It’s also a good idea to thoroughly read and edit your essay multiple times. You’ll want to submit the complete and final version of your essay, not something that reads like a rough draft. 

Remember, your parents, advisors, teachers, and peers can be helpful resources during revision. Feedback is an important aspect of the editing process.

Additional resources

Congratulations on starting your applications to college and working so diligently on them! Fortunately, Scholarships360 has even more resources to offer that can help propel your college journey in the right direction. 

• Start choosing your major
• Find the supplemental essay guide for your college
• Learn what “demonstrated interest” means for your application

Frequently asked questions about writing a “why this college” essay

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A 200+ Word “Why Major” Essay Example and Analysis

This article was written based on the information and opinions presented by Hale Jaeger in a CollegeVine livestream. You can watch the full livestream for more info.

What’s Covered:

250 word essay example, start with an anecdote, but avoid cliches, include smooth transitions and be specific, do your research and avoid overusing phrases, be concise and emphasize school fit.

In this article, we will focus on a prompt from Duke University that is specific to the Pratt School of Engineering.

If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering as a first year applicant, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke. (250 words).  

As opposed to a 100 word essay, 250 words gives you a little more space to write about your interests. Another thing to note about this prompt is that it is asking two questions: “why do you want to study at this school in particular?” and “why do you want to study engineering?” 

The extra words give you enough room to talk about the type of engineering you’re interested in, Duke specific resources, and how you grew your interest in engineering over time.  Here we will go through an example of a response to this prompt. Then for each paragraph, we’ll analyze what the essay does well and where it could be improved.

“One Christmas morning when I was nine, I opened a snap circuit set for my grandmother. Although I had always loved math and science. I didn’t realize my passion for engineering until I spent the rest of winter break creating different circuits to power various lights, alarms, and sensors. Even after I outgrew the toy, I kept the set in my bedroom at home and knew I wanted to study engineering.

Later in high school biology class, I learned that engineering didn’t only apply to circuits, but also to medical devices that could improve people’s quality of life. Biomedical engineering allows me to pursue my academic passions and help people at the same time. Just as biology and engineering interact in biomedical engineering, I am fascinated by interdisciplinary research in my chosen career path. 

Duke offers unmatched resources, such as DuHatch and The Foundry, that will enrich my engineering education and help me practice creative problem-solving skills. The emphasis on entrepreneurship within these resources will also help me to make a helpful product. Duke’s Bass Connections program also interests me; I firmly believe that the most creative and necessary problem solving comes by bringing people together from different backgrounds.

Through this program, I can use my engineering education to solve complicated societal problems, such as creating sustainable surgical tools for low income countries. Along the way I can learn alongside experts in the field. Duke’s openness and collaborative culture span across its academic disciplines, making Duke the best place for me to grow both as an engineer and as a social advocate.” 

“One Christmas morning when I was nine, I opened a snap circuit set for my grandmother. Although I had always loved math and science. I didn’t realize my passion for engineering until I spent the rest of winter break creating different circuits to power various lights, alarms, and sensors. Even after I outgrew the toy, I kept the set in my bedroom at home and knew I wanted to study engineering.”

This first paragraph does something excellent, which is it starts with an anecdote. In the introductory anecdote, the author mentions specific things like alarms, lights, and sensors, so the reader can really visualize what’s happening. 

Another strength of this excerpt is that the anecdote moves through time very quickly. It starts with Christmas morning, progresses to the rest of winter break, and then finally ends by discussing after the author outgrew the toy. That temporal growth is good because it gets a reader in and out of the anecdote quickly while feeling nostalgic. It makes the reader feel connected to the writer.

One weakness of this paragraph, however, is that the last line is a little too much; it hits you over the head with “I want to study engineering.” Admissions officers know that one experience from when you were nine years old may be too much to ascribe your passion for engineering to, so this doesn’t feel believable. Instead, this instance can be framed as a spark that ignited your passion for engineering or made you interested in learning more about engineering.

“Later in high school biology class, I learned that engineering didn’t only apply to circuits, but also to medical devices that could improve people’s quality of life. Biomedical engineering allows me to pursue my academic passions and help people at the same time. Just as biology and engineering interact in biomedical engineering, I am fascinated by interdisciplinary research in my chosen career path.” 

This paragraph does a really good job of transitioning from the anecdote to the writer’s specific and current interest in biomedical engineering. However, there are a few drawbacks from this excerpt. 

One weakness from this paragraph is that helping people is a trope that is really overused when talking about an interest in health and healthcare. You can help people in a variety of careers, so it is a bit naive to say that the only way you can help others is by pursuing a particular path. Instead, you want to make the essay sound more genuine by displaying the heart of your passion. What particular types of medical devices and interdisciplinary research is the student interested in? Which intersection of fields is the most interesting to them and why? Giving more details or even specific adjectives here would help the essay sound more informed and robust.

Another aspect of this essay that could be improved is that the author mentions their ideal career path but doesn’t elaborate on this beyond biomedical engineering as a field of study. There are many different paths you can take after studying biomedical engineering. You could go into the research and development of products, or medicine, or the research behind patient-facing studies. What about your ideal career makes you excited to pursue that given field or major?

”Duke offers unmatched resources, such as DuHatch and The Foundry, that will enrich my engineering education and help me practice creative problem-solving skills. The emphasis on entrepreneurship within these resources will also help me to make a helpful product. Duke’s Bass Connections program also interests me; I firmly believe that the most creative and necessary problem solving comes by bringing people together from different backgrounds.”

This paragraph takes on the question in the second part of the prompt by explaining explicitly why they want to study biomedical engineering at Duke. One thing this essay does very well is that it brings up Duke specific resources and opportunities – DuHatch, The Foundry, and Bass Connections. They also mention the spirit of entrepreneurship that is ingrained in the teaching at Duke and how this is important to the design process in engineering. By connecting to Duke’s academic philosophy, this shows the admissions officers that this student not only did their research but also shares values with the school itself. 

One of this paragraph’s weaknesses, however, is that the student mentions that “Duke offers unmatched resources, which is quite cliche and generic. Duke already knows that they are well regarded in the engineering field, so this is a waste of words in this essay. 

Another aspect of the essay that could be improved here is the vague and undeveloped idea of creative problem solving skills that would be honed by attending Duke. The author uses the phrase “problem solving” a couple of times and wastes some space on two transition sentences. Overusing this phrase detracts from the power of the language and weakens the general cadence of your essay.

“Through this program, I can use my engineering education to solve complicated societal problems, such as creating sustainable surgical tools for low income countries. Along the way I can learn alongside experts in the field. Duke’s openness and collaborative culture span across its academic disciplines, making Duke the best place for me to grow both as an engineer and as a social advocate.” 

This final paragraph is a strong conclusion because it is succinct and ties together all of the previous paragraphs. It makes the essay feel complete by the time the reader reaches the end. Combining engineering and social advocacy is also a great thought. It is in line with the rest of the essay and shows that this student is person-minded and not machine-minded. It demonstrates a dedication to community, which is something that Duke values as well.

However, if the author had incorporated these ideas of social advocacy earlier in the essay, this would have emphasized their fit with Duke and made the essay even stronger. Additionally, the specific idea of creating sustainable surgical tools for low income countries is very unique and would have been more powerful if it had been mentioned earlier; here it simply feels like an afterthought.

The conclusion also includes awkward wording in some of the phrases like “Duke’s openness and collaborative culture,” which could be reworded as “Duke’s open and collaborative culture.” By reducing some of the awkward phrasing, the author would have had some more space to play around with their specific interests in biomedical engineering and Duke’s programs.

Is Your “Why Major” Essay Strong Enough?

Essays account for around 25% of your admissions decision, as they’re your chance to humanize your application and set yourself apart from other applicants with strong profiles. 

The “Why Major” essay is especially important, as it allows you to reflect on your unique interests and fit with the school. Your supplement needs to demonstrate your interest in the major and paint a picture of how you’ll contribute to their program.

To understand if your essay is strong enough, we recommend using our Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. This tool will make it easier to understand your essay’s strengths and weaknesses, and help you make your writing even more compelling.

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Template: how to write your ‘why me’ statement.

• February, 19 2021
• Career Search

Applying for a job opportunity through The Mom Project? One of the first steps in filling out your application is crafting your "Why Me?" statement.

The "Why Me?" statement is a key component of your job applications. Think of this section like a mini-cover letter: The goal here is to briefly explain why you are applying to this specific position and how your experience, enthusiasm and skills relate to the role.

It's a short but powerful section — with a 600 character limit (or about 100 words), it's a natural place to start evaluating candidates. Hence, crafting a great "Why Me?" statement is one of the best chances you have to catch the hiring manager or recruiter’s attention.

Ready to write an attention-grabbing, value-driven “Why Me” statement? Download our "Why Me? Statement Template to organize your experience, choose powerful words and make a strong statement.

⬇️ Download the "Why Me?" Statement Template

Learn more about what you should (and shouldn't!) include in your "Why Me?" statement when you apply to opportunities through The Mom Project.

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