write an essay on how you demonstrated humility at home

Essay on Humility

Students are often asked to write an essay on Humility in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Humility

What is humility.

Humility is when someone knows their strengths and weaknesses and doesn’t act better than others. It’s like being a team player in sports. A humble person is kind and doesn’t brag about what they can do. They treat everyone the same, whether that person is a teacher or a student.

Why Humility Matters

Being humble is important because it helps us learn and grow. When we’re humble, we can listen to others and understand that we don’t know everything. This makes us better friends and students because we’re open to new ideas and help.

Showing Humility

To show humility, you can say “thank you” when someone helps you and admit when you make mistakes. It’s also being happy for others when they do well. Humble people don’t need to be the center of attention; they’re okay with letting others shine too.

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250 Words Essay on Humility

Understanding humility.

Humility is like a special power that does not make a lot of noise but can be felt by everyone. It means you do not brag about what you can do or what you have. Instead, you stay quiet about your talents and let your actions speak for you. People who are humble often think about others before themselves.

Why Being Humble is Good

When you are humble, you are kind to others and you do not act as if you are better than anyone else. This makes people feel good around you and they may want to be your friend. Also, when you make a mistake, being humble helps you to say sorry and learn from it.

Humility at School

At school, humility can help you work well with other students. If you are good at a subject, instead of showing off, you can help your classmates. This way, everyone can do better and feel happy about learning.

How to Practice Humility

To practice humility, you can start by listening more than you talk. When someone else is speaking, give them your full attention. Also, be thankful for what you have and help others without expecting anything back.

In conclusion, humility is not about hiding what you are good at. It is about being kind, listening, and helping others. When you are humble, you make the world a nicer place for everyone.

500 Words Essay on Humility

Humility is a quality that shows you don’t think you are better than other people. It’s when you understand your own strengths and weaknesses, and you don’t act as if you are more important than others. A humble person is someone who listens more than they speak and who respects other people’s views and feelings.

Being humble is important because it helps us get along with others. When someone is not full of themselves, people enjoy being around them more. Humble people are often seen as kind, and they make friends easily because they treat everyone the same, no matter who they are. This quality is like a magnet that draws people together and builds trust.

In school, humility is very useful. A student who is humble does not show off when they get good grades. Instead, they might help others who are struggling. Humble students also are not afraid to ask for help when they don’t understand something. They know that asking questions is a way to learn, not a sign of weakness.

Humility in Leaders

Good leaders are often humble. They understand that they don’t have all the answers and that they need their team to succeed. Humble leaders give credit to others for their success and take responsibility when things go wrong. This makes people want to work hard for them and share their best ideas.

You can practice humility every day. Try to listen more than you talk. When you do something well, enjoy it but don’t brag. Remember to say “thank you” and “please,” and admit when you make a mistake. Also, try to learn about others and appreciate what makes them special.

Challenges of Being Humble

Sometimes, it’s hard to stay humble. You might feel like you want others to see how great you are. Or, you might be scared that if you don’t talk about your achievements, no one will notice them. But remember, true humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.

The Rewards of Humility

When you’re humble, you open yourself up to a world of learning and new friendships. People trust and respect you more. You feel good about yourself not because you’re better than anyone else, but because you know you’re doing your best to be a good person. And in the end, that’s what really matters.

Humility is a powerful quality. It might seem simple, but it can change the way you see the world and how the world sees you. It’s not about hiding your talents or achievements; it’s about being kind, respectful, and always ready to learn something new. Remember, no matter how much you know, there’s always more to learn, and no one person is the best at everything. That’s the heart of humility.

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What Is Humility & Why Is It Important? (Incl. Examples)

Deriving from the word humus (earth), it appears to clash with our current valuation of self-worth and self-realization.

But humility has nothing to do with meekness or weakness. And neither does it mean being self-effacing or submissive. Humility is an attitude of spiritual modesty that comes from understanding our place in the larger order of things. It entails not taking our desires, successes, or failings too seriously.

In the past decade in particular, psychologists have rediscovered the importance of humility. They have established fascinating links between humility and our ability to learn and be effective leaders, and our readiness to engage in prosocial behavior.

Adopting a more humble mindset increases our overall psychological wellbeing and ensures our social functioning. Last but not least, humility is a perfect antidote to the self-fixated spirit of our age.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Strengths Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients realize your unique potential and create a life that feels energized and authentic.

This Article Contains:

The history of humility, what is humility in psychology, humility as a character strength, why is humility important, 5 real-life examples, how to practice humility.

• 5 Exercises for Fostering Humility

4 Tips for Raising a Humble Kid

Techniques for humble leadership and workplace, the importance of humility in relationships.

• 2 Books on the Topic

A Take-Home Message

Humility is a core value in many ancient ethical and theological frameworks. The Confucian form of humility, for example, is profoundly other oriented in spirit, consistently valuing the social good over the satisfaction of our individual aspirations. In this ancient Chinese form, humility can significantly enhance social cohesion and our sense of belonging.

The Greek philosopher Socrates held that wisdom is, above all, knowing what we don’t know. He taught an intellectual form of humility that freely acknowledges the gaps in our knowledge and that humbly seeks to address our blind spots.

Aristotle understood humility as a moral virtue, sandwiched between the vices of arrogance and moral weakness. Like Socrates, he believed that humility must include accurate self-knowledge and a generous acknowledgment of the qualities of others that avoids distortion and extremes.

An accurate understanding of our strengths and weaknesses is still a core feature of current definitions of humility.

Christian humility is linked to self-abnegation, shame, and sin and may therefore not be to everyone’s taste. However, the ancient theologians can still help us to avoid arrogance and pretentiousness. They remind us that we are members of a species that is far from perfect and urge us to be mindful of the limited role we each have to play in the fate of humanity as a whole.

Through the centuries, the importance of humility as a moral character virtue has faded. However, psychological studies of humility have surged in the last two decades (Worthington, Davis, & Hook, 2017). This renewed interest in humility is, in no small part, a counter-reaction to what the authors of The Narcissism Epidemic , Jean Twenge and W. Keith Campbell (2009), have described as our “ age of entitlement .”

Today, self-realization and enhancing our self-worth are our highest aspirations. Precisely because it provides an antidote to many worrying tendencies of our age, such as arrogance, greed, and self-centeredness (all of which also have devastating consequences for our democracies and our planet), humility is experiencing a much-needed revival.

Capturing our other-orientation, it is closely related to modesty and fairness, but also our interest in wealth and other signs of status and our inclination toward self-promotion. Crucially, it also involves seeing ourselves accurately – not thinking of ourselves more highly (or, for that matter, lowly) than is appropriate.

Worthington et al. (2017) understand humility as made up of three parts:

• Accurate self-perception
• Modest self-portrayal
• Other-oriented relational stance

They note that the recent growth in humility-focused studies coincides with the rise of positive psychology and frustration with the limitations of purely individualistic virtues. Alongside compassion, forgiveness, altruism, gratitude, and empathy, humility belongs to “ a cluster of virtues that bind society together ” (Worthington et al., 2017).

Worthington et al. (2017) further divide humility into general humility and more specific kinds of humility. These include intellectual humility, relating to an openness about our views, beliefs, and opinions; and cultural humility, an ability to acknowledge and learn from the achievements of other cultures (Hazlett, 2012; Davis et al., 2015).

Other sub-types of humility are political and spiritual humility.

While other-orientedness is a core interpersonal feature of humility, Tangney (2009) has identified six intrapersonal aspects of humility:

• A willingness to see ourselves truthfully
• An accurate perception of our place in the world
• An ability to acknowledge our mistakes and limitations
• Low self-focus
• An appreciation of the value of all things

Hill and Laney (2016), finally, understand humility as involving a quiet ego (see also Kesebir, 2014).

Choosing humility in a self-centered age – Quincy Mix

We can also understand humility as a character strength . As such, it is an essential component of moral character that is manifested in modesty, being empathetic, acknowledging and respecting others at a deeper level, and accurately understanding as well as owning our limitations (Harvey & Pauwels, 2004).

As a character strength, humility can be viewed as the opposite of pride, arrogance, and an inflated sense of our importance and talents. It is based on a fundamentally caring and compassionate attitude toward others.

Finally, we may also think of humility as a specific mindset. After all, it is a crucial aspect of what Carol Dweck (2006) has described as the “growth mindset.”

In Dweck’s framework, humility entails not just admitting our shortcomings, but actively seeking to overcome them. It is about a general readiness to learn best practices from others and learn from our failures (see also Syed, 2015).

Humility is, therefore, intricately related to learning and teachability – a way of being that embraces constant self-correction and self-improvement.

A humble mindset has significant positive effects on our cognitive, interpersonal, and decision-making skills . Humility is directly related to our ability and willingness to learn. Humble people are better learners and problem solvers.

Humble students who are genuinely open to feedback often overtake their naturally more talented peers who think so highly of their own abilities that they reject all advice. Some studies have found that humility is more important as a predictive performance indicator than IQ (Owens, Johnson, & Mitchell, 2013; Krumrei-Manusco, Haggard, LaBouff, & Rowatt, 2019).

Humility in our leaders, moreover, fosters trust, engagement, creative strategic thinking, and generally boosts performance (Rego et al., 2017; Ou, Waldman, & Peterson, 2020; Cojuharenco & Karelaia, 2020). Humility is also related to a general increase in positive emotions. Moreover, humility fosters self-forgiveness (Onody et al., 2020).

Besides, there are indications that humility strengthens various social functions and bonds. As a consequence of experiencing less stress and fewer negative experiences with others, humility might be related not just to better mental health, but also better physical health (Worthington et al., 2017, p. 7).

Last but not least, a lack of cultural humility is associated with xenophobia, the fear and hatred of foreigners. Humility, by contrast, is associated with xenophilia, an attraction to foreign cultures.

Those of us who lack cultural humility are more prone to make assumptions about others, feel superior to them, and dramatically overvalue our knowledge and talents in comparison to others (Hook, Davis, Owen, Worthington, & Utsey, 2013; Barbarino & Stürmer, 2016).

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A famous trio of truly humble people are Gandhi , Nelson Mandela , and Mother Teresa . All of them heroically dedicated their energies and time to serving their ideals and tirelessly working to improve the living conditions for other people.

Yet they remained modest and unpretentious about their astounding achievements and never tied them to their own personalities. They humbly served not their egos, but instead a greater external cause.

We can see many examples of personalities who lack humility by turning to the world of fiction and television. For instance, you might remember the spoiled and over-indulged Veruca Salt from the famous tale of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.

The child of affluent parents, Salt stands in stark contrast to the story’s protagonist, believing she is without fault and entitled to anything she wants. This lack of humility comes at a price when she is whisked away down a garbage chute that judges her to be a “bad egg.”

Another example is Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones. The character of Joffrey is known for his narcissistic entitlement, vastly inflated sense of his talents, and desire to dominate–all traits negatively correlated with humility (Worthington et al., 2017, p. 7).

Joffrey shows little sympathy or concern for other characters throughout the story, including his own wife, Sansa, whom he treats with severe cruelty. It is little wonder audiences around the world celebrated when he was poisoned and died in Season 4, putting an end to his reign of tyranny.

We need to begin by developing an accurate understanding of our strengths and weaknesses .

Then we must own our imperfections . When we do, we no longer have to waste our energy hiding them from others, but can instead seek to learn to live with them productively or even to overcome them.

Paradoxically, a stubbornly low opinion of ourselves is also in contradiction to a humble view of ourselves. Extremely low self-esteem , just as a narcissistic overvaluation of our talents, lacks accuracy. It is just an inverted form of self-obsession, another way of fixating on ourselves rather than directing our attention toward others.

Although we are the subject in our world, we must remember that we are an object in everybody else’s. We are not the center of the universe. This includes adjusting our perspective . Our woes and desires become ever more insignificant the more we step back from them and consider the bigger picture. Our time on this planet is limited. Our works and achievements are transient.

We are all parts of structures that are larger than ourselves – couples, families, communities, nations, the organizations for which we work, the human species. We should never forget the many teams of which we are a part – small and large. Sometimes, it is apt to privilege the needs of our teams over our individual desires.

We must stay curious and open to learning. We can learn from anyone and everything at all times. We can learn from friends and family, our children, and people who master specific skills.

We have much to learn from other cultures and our ancestors. We can learn precious lessons from animals and even plants.

Humor is a powerful tool. We can all benefit from laughing more about ourselves and our imperfections.

3 Exercises for Fostering Humility

Exercises that hone gratitude and appreciation can boost a humble state of mind. A great starting point is PositivePsychology.com’s Expressing Gratitude To Others worksheet. It invites us to value our important relationships with others. It encourages us to think about the people who have influenced us most positively in our lives, truly appreciate their contribution, and demonstrate our gratitude.

Another classic exercise is the Gratitude Journal exercise. This exercise asks us to write down the things and people that we are thankful for, which triggers reflection on them at the end of each day.

Gratitude Gifts  is an activity for children that aims to help them generate a more grateful mindset.

Finally, we have much to learn from the Romantics. They held nature in the highest esteem. They knew it as an awe-inspiring force, a manifestation of the sublime that reminds us of our relative insignificance in the greater scheme of things.

Nature has curative powers. It can put us back in our place. We can experience a powerfully self-importance-correcting sense of awe by looking out to sea, peering down the edges of dramatic cliffs, touching the ancient trunks of towering trees, and viewing waterfalls, fast-flowing rivers, and still, deep ponds.

We can feel humbled when we are reminded of the force of the elements – battered by strong winds, drenched by the heavens – or when we see zigzagging lightning light up the night sky.

Children learn by copying .

The most effective way to teach children humility is by modeling it ourselves. We can show them what humility looks like in action daily.

While seeking to foster healthy self-esteem, we should not over-inflate children’s sense of importance . And nor should we twist their view of their own talents. This is a very tricky balance to strike.

We can approximate this ideal by trying to praise effort over results and by fostering a growth mindset (Dweck, 2006). This includes honing children’s ability to learn from failure and teaching them to see failure as a natural part of any meaningful learning process.

We can show children other ways of seeing the world and thinking about things. Our best tools are books, films, and works of art. By exposing them to radically different world views and talking about the discrepancies they notice with an open mind, we can alert them to the fact that their way of viewing the world is not the only one. And nor is ours.

We, too, can learn much from children in turn and should tell them so when we do.

Finally, gratitude exercises work with children, too. We can, for starters, simply ask them to name one thing for which they have been particularly grateful today.

Jim Collins, in Good to Great (2001), has demonstrated that the most outstanding leaders are also the most humble. The best leaders combine professional will with personal humility. They are often “ self-effacing, quiet, reserved, even shy ” – always privileging the institutions they serve over their egos (Collins, 2001, p. 12).

These leaders believe in human development. They do not crave credit, nor do they constantly need to show how great they are or undermine others to feel powerful. They are instead relentlessly trying to improve and learn from their failures. By modeling humility, they create a humble working culture in their organizations.

Bradley Owens says that humble leaders are essentially self-transcendent. Humble leaders “ have successfully tempered or tamed the ego and embraced a leadership perspective that seeks to elevate everyone ” (Aten, 2019). They are teachable, eager to learn, willing to see themselves accurately, and able to praise those around them. They foster in their workforce hope, efficacy, resilience, and optimism (Owens, Yam, Bednar, Mao, & Hart, 2019).

Humble leaders, moreover “ are more likely to see failure as just a part of the developmental process. Since humble leaders don’t try to keep up appearances or power postures, it is less distressing and thus easier to recover when things don’t go well ” (Aten, 2019).

Worthington et al. (2017) define relational humility as our “ ability and capacity to prioritize the needs of the relationship. It requires being sympathetic to the other person in the relationship and seeking to consider his or her fundamental needs ,” as well as “ shaping our behavior to elevate the other person’s agenda .”

Humility in relationships can be transformational when we move beyond our selfish preferences and consider not just our partner’s wellbeing, but the wellbeing of the partnership. Relationship humility builds trust, commitment, and persistence (Worthington et al., 2017, p. 12).

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2 Books On The Topic

Find two suggestions for in-deth reflection on the topic of humility.

The Handbook of Humility: Theory, Research, and Applications

It features a very readable introduction and epilogue that provide a fine overview of the growing field of humility research and its main findings so far, as well as numerous chapters on specific features of and perspectives on humility.

Available on Amazon .

The Routledge Handbook of Philosophy of Humility

It covers theories, ethics, psychology, and politics of humility, as well as humility in religious thought.

The ancient virtue of humility is experiencing a long-overdue revival. Not only has humility research proliferated in the past years, but there is a mounting body of evidence that demonstrates just how vital humility is for all of us. It is closely correlated with learning, outstanding leadership, various prosocial behaviors, and our ability to forge deeper bonds with others.

Humility has the potential to be a panacea for many of our most pressing political problems, as well as for global environmental challenges. Last but by no means least, humility is also merely a highly likable trait. We are much more attracted to those who are not self-centered, arrogant, pretentious, or greedy. These tendencies have become all too common in recent decades, but the tide is turning.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Strengths Exercises for free .

• Alfano, M., Lynch, M. P., & Tanesini, A. (Eds.) (2020). The Routledge handbook of philosophy of humility . New York, NY: Routledge.
• Aten, J. D. (2019, February 26) How humble leaders foster resilience: An interview with Dr. Bradley Owens on the value of humility. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hope-resilience/201902/how-humble-leaders-foster-resilience
• Barbarino, M. L., & Stürmer, S. (2016). Different origins of xenophile and xenophobic orientations in human personality structure: A theoretical perspective and some preliminary findings. Journal of Social Issues , 72 , 432–449.
• Cojuharenco, I., & Karelaia, N. (2020). When leaders ask questions: Can humility premiums buffer the effects of competence penalties? Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes , 156 , 113–134.
• Collins, J. (2001).  Good to great: Why some companies make the leap—and others don’t. Random House Business.
• Davis, D., Rice, K., McElroy-Heltzel, S., Deblaere, C., Choe, E., Van Tongeren, D., & Hook, J. (2015). Distinguishing intellectual humility and general humility. The Journal of Positive Psychology , 11 , 1–10.
• Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: Changing the way you think to fulfill your potential . London, UK: Robinson.
• Harvey, J. H., & Pauwels, B. G. (2004). Modesty, humility, character strength, and positive psychology. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology , 23 , 620–623.
• Hazlett, A. (2012). Higher-order epistemic attitudes and intellectual humility. Episteme , 9 , 205–223.
• Hill, P., & Laney, E. K. (2016). Beyond self-interest: Humility and the quieted self, In K. W. Brown & M. R. Leary (Eds.) The Oxford handbook of hypo-egoic phenomena. Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press.
• Hook, J. N., Davis, D. E., Owen, J., Worthington, E. L., & Utsey, S. O. (2013). Cultural humility: Measuring openness to culturally diverse clients. Journal of Counseling Psychology , 60 (3), 353–366.
• Kesebir, P. (2014). A quiet ego quiets death anxiety: Humility as an existential anxiety buffer. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 106 (4), 610–623.
• Krumrei-Mancuso, E. J., Haggard, M. C., LaBouff, J. P., & Rowatt, W. C. (2019). Links between intellectual humility and acquiring knowledge. The Journal of Positive Psychology , 155–170.
• Onody, A. P., Woodyatt, L., Wenzel, M., Cibich, M., Sheldon, A., & Cornish, M. A. (2020). Humility and its relationship to self-condemnation, defensiveness and self-forgiveness following interpersonal transgressions. Journal of Psychology and Theology , 48 (2), 118–130.
• Ou, A. Y., Waldman, D. A., & Peterson, S. J. (2018). Do humble CEOs matter? An examination of CEO humility and firm outcomes. Journal of Management , 44 (3), 1147–1173.
• Owens, B. P., Yam, K. C., Bednar, J. S., Mao, J., & Hart, D. W. (2019). The impact of leader moral humility on follower moral self-efficacy and behavior. The Journal of Applied Psychology , 104 (1), 146–163.
• Owens B. P., Johnson, M. D., & Mitchell, T. R. (2013). Expressed humility in organizations: Implications for performance, teams, and leadership. Organization Science , 24 (5), 1517–1538.
• Rego, A., Owens, B., Leal, S., Melo, A., Cunha, M., Gonçalves, L., & Ribeiro, P. (2017). How leader humility helps teams to be humbler, psychologically stronger, and more effective: A moderated mediation model. The Leadership Quarterly , 28 , 639–658.
• Robson, D. (2020, June 1). Is this the secret of smart leadership?  BBC . Retrieved June 3, 2020, from https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200528-is-this-the-secret-of-smart-leadership
• Syed, M. (2015). Black box thinking: Marginal gains and the secrets of high performance . London, UK: John Murray.
• Tangney, J. P. (2009). Humility, In S. J. Lopez & C. R. Snyder. (Eds.) Handbook of positive psychology ( pp. 411–419). Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press,
• Twenge, J. M., and Campbell, W. K. (2009). The narcissism epidemic: Living in the age of entitlement . New York and London: Atria.
• Worthington, Jr., E., Davis, D., & Hook, J. (Eds.) (2017). Handbook of humility: Theory, research, and applications. New York, NY: Routledge.

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What our readers think.

Humility presumes that somethings are more important than self. This is absurd…nothing at all in the Universe is more important than self. Without self, there is no individual autonomy…that is…a so called humble person is attacking the core freedom implicit in the dignity and value of every individual person. Liberty, freedom and self directed human creativity is destroyed with the corrosive effects of the embrace of humility as a virtue.

I thought that this article was extremely insightful, well written, fair and balanced. I really believe that it is quite accurate. I enjoyed it very much. Interesting when you applied it to the day and age that we are living in. Regards, Laura

Medieval knights went to chapel before each crusade and epic battle. The Pope is required to spend time in ‘The Room of Tears’ before his 1st ever speech from the balcony. Why? Humility is a powerful natural asset that can always use some refining or a refresher course. Tell me about it. Before any epic journey or life change a little reacquaintance with humility is always a good idea. It lets you regain perspective. I intend to quit smoking after a 40-pack/year habit. That’s why I spend a lot of time scrounging around for cigarette butts to smoke instead of actually buying a pack. It’s gross, disgusting, and smelly, which was exactly what I needed to stay on track. Hopefully it will work.

Your claim about Christian humility is grossly unfair and unacceptable. It has nothing to do with shame or self~abnegation. Rejection of sin is a very healthy aspect of humility

I have been blessed by this articel so much that I thank God, especially from Wendy above. I pray that God enables this virtue in me and my family.

Thank you very much, wish you all the best !

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15 Ways to Practice Humility Throughout Your Life

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The world has become divided.

People are losing sight of their responsibility to be kind to one another… to treat each other with respect and dignity. 

Bad news fills our newsfeeds. Our neighbors are distant. Even households are divided because of conflicting beliefs, where there is no room for empathy .

It’s time for a change… and change has to start with us.

By teaching ourselves how to practice humility, our minds will be at peace with the world and those who live in it.

Table of Contents

What is Humility?

Humility is the modest perception of one’s own significance.

A prime example of someone who practices humility would be a religious leader, someone who humbles themselves before their faith.

The general idea is to have a modest (not low) opinion of one’s self in order to better understand the world.  In turn, this will open our eyes and hearts to developing empathy towards our neighbors.  

You may have heard the phrase, “humility is not about thinking less of yourself, but of yourself less.” This really sums up the concept of humility.

Developing self-awareness is the first step in practicing yourself. Check out this video on how to to be self-aware and know yourself better:

One of the worst traits a human can have is that of pride.  Not that you shouldn’t be proud of yourself, but never to the point of conceit.

Doing so prevents us from looking outside ourselves to see the bigger picture. Our neighbors are no less valuable than we are… and humility teaches this very concept.

Life can be frustrating at times, especially when we find it hard to understand why people make the choices they do… but that does not mean we should dismiss them.  

By learning how to practice humility, we can begin to walk in our neighbor's footsteps… where we will soon come to the realization that our choices may simply differ from others. Our opinions are not better or worse than theirs.

Humility teaches us that all humans are equal.  And this concept brings us more in tune with our spiritual side. We must look past our superiority and self-importance to find something greater than ourselves.

We all have the right to be heard.

Our lives are not undervalued or overvalued due to our race, beliefs, or nationality.

With humility, we look deep within ourselves to find that we are all one. This realization will bring us closer to empathy and loving our neighbor.

Of course, lowering our significance should not lower our self-esteem. We should value our self-worth and our belief system… but limit our self-importance.

If you practice humility you will have solid relationships that are filled with acceptance. Humility can offer a better way to live.

In this article, I’ve provided 15 tips on how to practice humility throughout your life.

15 Ways to Practice Humility throughout Your Life

1. let others speak..

When having a conversation with a friend, it’s only natural to want to speak about your own life. However, do not make the conversation all about you.

Ask questions about how your friend’s life is going and what their opinions are about the world. Get their insights and opinions on life in general and what they value.

This will open your life up to new experiences and thoughts. It’s okay to talk slightly about yourself, but limit the sharing to a minimum as to not seem overbearing.  

Tip: Ask your friend which book has changed their views of the world. You will be introduced to new ideas and your friend will enjoy speaking about a life-changing experience.

2. Do Not Pry.

Hearing gossip around the workplace, soccer field, school is inevitable. People enjoy drama that does not involve them. They see rumors as entertainment to fill their days.

Do not give in to this form of conversation. Gossip is damaging to the parties involved and people do not deserve to be talked about behind their backs.

People generally pick sides without knowing the full story. This gives off a sense of superiority over a meaningless situation.

Next time you hear someone engaging in gossip, try to turn the conversation around.

Tip: Sometimes trying to change conversation does not work well. Unfortunately, we cannot force someone to act upon our requests. It may be best to walk away from the conversation and come back at a suitable time.

3. Look On the Bright Side.

Many events will irritate us in this life. Something as simple as stubbing our toe on the door could put us in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

It’s best to practice restraint in these situations.

Anger is a normal emotion that should not be ignored… or the anger will grow.  

The best way to deal with small annoyances is to accept that we are angry at the moment. Allow anger to wash over you… then take a few deep breathes and try to find humor in the situation.  

It may seem ridiculous to laugh at your pain, but it will make you feel better. Laughter really is the best medicine… and if you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Tip: You can look forward to telling a story about the small inconvenience to make someone laugh, not at you, but with you.

4. Accept Being Disappointed.

When you don’t receive the big promotion you were counting on… you may feel like the universe is out to get you.  Our view of the world will warp and make us believe that we will never have a win again.

Life will hand us many forms of disappointment throughout our lives.  

It’s unfair to admit that we may never receive what we think we deserve, but if we accept this disappointment for what it is… we will feel less saddened as more letdowns come out way.

It’s okay to feel disappointment, but do not allow it to ruin your outlook on life. Do not allow it to triumph over your emotions or stop you from continuing to push forward.

Tip: If you become disappointed over an event – mentally mark down all the times you were granted a win. Whether that’s a free prize won at a raffle or even making your crush laugh. Disappointment does not measure your happiness. Remember all the times life gave you something special to help you accept that it will bring you disappointments.

5. Ignore the Negative Actions of Others.

People will make mistakes. Sometimes it’s hard to ignore the choices a loved one makes that turn into a terrible situation.

For instance, if a loved one gets into a minor car accident due to reckless driving, it may be difficult not to judge their actions. But ask yourself, “Why should I be the one to judge?”

We have all made mistakes that have either affected ourselves or others in our lives. There is no reason or sense to judge someone for their mistakes.  “He who has never sinned shall cast the first stone.”

Would we want to be judged by our imperfections?

Do not allow superiority to escape yourself when hearing the mistakes of others. Instead, offer your support and care if they need it.

Tip: If someone is venting to you about the terrible mistakes they have made in their lives. Listen, and offer up your personal story about a mistake you have made. Make it short and be sure to point out that no one is perfect. It's hard not to judge someone, here is a helpful article that gives you tips to becoming less judgmental by Psychology Today. 

6. It’s Okay if People Do Not Like You.

Many people feel an excessive need to be liked… more so today than with past generations.

With the overpowering network of social media, our lives can be measured with Likes and Hearts. When we do not get the attention we look for, it can be a devastating blow.

But if someone does not enjoy your presence, do not take it too seriously.

Do not seek their approval.

They may have their reasons, but those reasons do not need to be illuminated.  And most of the time, it will have nothing to do with you.

Friendships may come and go, but that doesn’t mean the friendship was never valued.

Life brings new people in and out of it. It’s best to enjoy the time we have now with the people who do want to be around us… and help us grow as people.  

Tip: When you post to social media make sure you do it for documentation of your life. Do not just post to receive Likes because it’s damaging to seek the approval of others and will only boost your ego or lower your self-esteem.

7. Back Down from a Useless Fight.

Arguments will happen between friends and love ones. It’s as natural as life.

To practice humility is to back down from a fight, even if you are in the right.

Anger is an unnecessary emotion… and it rises during passionate debates. Sometimes debates will turn into personal altercations and insults will be thrown.  During this time, even if you are the one bringing logical arguments, it’s best to let the fight die.

There is no reason to allow your loved one to become angry over a heated conversation. This will help both parties recognize the absurdity of the situation.  

Tip: Next time you witness a heated debate, try to interject and ask what the two parties see in common rather than what they see differently. Try to reach the common ground so that the debate can end.

8. Always Be Polite.

We have all been in situations where we encountered an unruly individual.

Maybe it is someone at work… or a rude customer yelling at the cashier while we are minding our own businesses trying to checkout.

Unfortunately, people can be rude and will try to provoke you. Involve you.

They will throw insults your way and do everything they can to get you to fight back. Do not allow this to happen!

Instead, continue to show politeness and kindness. This takes wind from their sails and allows for insight into the situation.

People will usually back down when shown human kindness.  

Tell yourself this: in situations like these, the other person is likely going through something that we cannot understand. So it’s best to continue to show them empathy.

Tip: If someone is throwing insults at you unfairly, make this an opportunity to ask them questions about what is making them so angry and try to offer a solution. Give them space but also provide help. Let them know you recognize their frustration and want to help them uncover what is truly bothering them.

9. Be Grateful.

One of the hardest things to do is to be grateful for what we have.  

Again… life can be cruel, disappointing and lonely at times.

But this should not disparage you from being appreciated for what you do have and the people in your life.  

Take note of all the good things you have in your world…  something as simple as a favorite sweater or the love of your family. There are always things in our lives to be thankful for and happy about.

Remembering this will keep you from becoming bitter about the downsides of life.

Tip: Make a list of all the things you are grateful for and pull out that list when life becomes a little too hard. This will keep you grounded and focused on how to practice humility. 

10. Complement Others.

When was the last time you received a compliment?

When we receive gratitude for something we have done, or simply are complimented on our clothes, we feel noticed. We feel happy.

We should always give back that feeling so others can feel appreciated too. We have the power to make people feel good about themselves by simply using our words.

Recognize others' achievements and congratulate them for their accomplishments. We do not offer our sincerity to people enough in this world because we are too focused on trying to achieve our own goals.

Tip: Try to compliment at least one person a day. This will bring a smile to their faces and your own. Making people feel good about themselves should make you feel good as well.

11. Apologize for Your Mistakes

One of the most humble things we can do as humans is to admit when we are wrong.

This is a strong trait of humility that many people have yet to master. It’s very difficult to admit when we have made a mistake because we do not want to think so badly about ourselves.

But there is nothing wrong with admitting our faults and apologizing for them. Try your best to make apologies where they are due and others will appreciate your sincerity.

Tip: Remember that even if we master apologies we should not expect others to as well. If someone does not apologize when they should remember that we cannot control their actions and just hope that one day they will have the ability to apologize when they are wrong. Again, apologies can be challenging. Here is a helpful video from Jahan Kalantar who has three steps to a perfect apology. 

12. Accept You’re Not Always Right

It takes real humility to admit when you’ve been wrong. Owning up to your failures is something that requires you to see yourself, without flinching and without becoming defensive. You are enough, failures and all. Humility helps you embrace your weakness, seeing that this is actually your strength and opportunity for growth. 

Being right all the time leads to arrogance, an attitude of not wanting to learn, and habitually looking down on others. Instead, celebrate your mishaps and being wrong as opportunities to grow. 

It reminds me of that quote by George Washington that says “ We should not look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dearly bought experience. ” So accept that you’re not always right by finding the lesson in where you went wrong. Learn from it, and move on (and remember, you are human). 

Tip: Find one thing you did today that was “wrong.” Think about it, and if you have wronged someone, apologize and remind yourself that not being right all the time is a blessing. 

13. Random Acts of Service

The humble person never sees an act of service as being beneath them. Help the cleaner at work to clean up before leaving work, knowing that you can help them get to their families a few minutes early this day. 

There is nothing more humble and noble than rolling up your sleeves for an act of service. Oh, and leave your phone in your pocket, as taking selfies to show others how “great” you are doesn’t make this an act of humility. 

Help without being seen because then you are doing it for the right reasons, not to show off how “wonderful” you are.

Tip: Find ways to help those in need with a random act of service and begin to serve others when opportunities present. If you can help, do so.   

14. Be Gracious in Defeat

Falling, failing, and not succeeding can wake the arrogance monster in us all. Don’t let arrogance and feelings of superiority make you act aggressively or nastily when you lose out to someone else. 

If you miss out on a promotion at work, congratulate the winner (aka your colleague), and allow yourself to feel happy and proud of them. Your chance will come, and others will celebrate for you. 

A gracious spirit allows the sun to shine on all, knowing that the sun shines on them too. This goes hand in hand with being grateful. 

Tip: When you lose out to someone else, ask yourself what you really lost. Did you lose something precious or gain a valuable lesson? Each defeat is an opportunity, so begin reprogramming your brain by asking “What did I gain from this experience?” and learn to let go of feeling like a loser and begin to feel like a learner instead. 

15. Celebrate in Private 

It’s so easy to want to celebrate in public and flaunt our victories, showing off to those who can see us. Yet, celebrating in private builds integrity, creates a humble spirit, and prepares you to encourage others instead of focusing on your own success. 

Learn to value the process of success and not the actual victory so you may remain humble and in touch with what matters – your hard work and dedication. Celebrating in public is about others, not about you, which is why a private celebration is much more meaningful. 

Tip: When you enjoy a victory, ask yourself whether celebrating with someone is about encouraging them or puffing up your own self-importance. If the latter, then cancel the celebrations and refocus on the real victory – what you can do for others.

Final Thoughts on How to Practice Humility

Humility will bring about a better way of communicating with your neighbors and loved ones.

It will make you happier, as you begin to recognize and empathize with the world outside of yourself.

You will become less angry about minor inconveniences and become more comfortable in accepting disappointment.

Humility will allow you the growth you need to become a happier person in a world that is filled with ups and downs.  Highs and lows.

Humility relies heavily on mindful communication with others . By practicing humility, you will become more grounded and begin to enjoy life more than ever.

And if you're looking for more articles about mindfulness, humbleness and moral living be sure to check out these blog posts:

• Humbleness VS Humility: 5 Basic Differences
• 15 Humbleness Examples You See Throughout Life
• 19 Ways to Project Positive Energy Throughout Your Life
• 21 Moral Values All People Should Learn (with Examples)
• When Is the Best Time of Day to Meditate? A Simple Guide

Finally, if you want a simple way to reduce your stress and anxiety, then try writing these 35 mindfulness journaling prompts to live more in the present moment .

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How to Practice Humility

Last Updated: April 18, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Rebecca Kason, PsyD . Dr. Rebecca Kason is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist licensed in both New York and New Jersey. She specializes in adolescent mental health, dialectical behavior therapy, and cognitive-behavioral therapy. Dr. Kason treats clients struggling with emotional dysregulation, behavioral disorders, interpersonal difficulty, family conflict, anxiety, depression, and phobias. She holds a Bachelor's degree in Psychology from The University of Delaware and a Master's degree in Applied Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University. Dr. Kason completed an APA accredited internship at Mount Sinai Services. She is a member of the American Psychological Association and Association for Behavior and Cognitive Therapy. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 229,121 times.

Mother Theresa once said, “Humility is the mother of all virtues; purity, charity, and obedience. It is in being humble that our love becomes real, devoted and ardent.” These words ring true, but you don’t have to be Mother Theresa, or even religious at all, to make an effort to practice humility in your everyday life. Being humble means accepting your limitations and making an effort to make the world a better place without wanting to take all the credit.

Developing a More Humble Mindset

• If you adopt the attitude that you’re too cool for school, people will become allergic to you. Instead, work to be grateful for what you have and work to earn more, if that’s what you want.

• Work on being excited about all of the things the future holds instead of expecting catastrophe to strike at any moment.
• Though it’s a good idea to be prepared for the worst, you should work on finding the silver lining in almost every situation.

• If you act like you’re the best at something, you’ll come off as arrogant. Instead, show people that, while you’re proud of what you know or what you can achieve, you’re always wanting to do more.

• Sure, it can be kind of awkward when people are praising you. However, you should accept credit where credit is due instead of acting like it was no big deal.

• Sure, it can be humbling to admit that you need to work on your social skills or that you’re not the world’s neatest person. But this can also lead you to work toward self-improvement.
• Along with recognizing your flaws, it’s important to be able to accept the things you cannot change about yourself.

• People who truly practice humility focus much more on praising other people than on focusing on their own accomplishments.
• The next time you catch yourself talking about something you’ve achieved, ask yourself whether you’re bragging or showing off, or just sharing something you’re truly proud of.

• Of course, some people are a lot better off than others when it comes to the luck game. Just know that it’s what you do with your luck that matters, and that you should be grateful for what you have been given instead of complaining about what you don’t have.

Practice gratitude frequently. "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."

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Pick a sea creature:, taking action.

• It can be very humbling to realize that other people have a perspective that is just as valid as yours, and that everyone around is also filled with worries, doubts, and hopes.
• Become an expert at listening to people without interrupting them or giving them advice unless they ask for it.

• It will actually make you feel better to acknowledge that other people have worked hard, too. If you take all the credit without deserving it, then you’ll be practicing selfishness instead of gratitude.

• When you apologize to people, look them in the eyes, make your words genuine, and show them that the behavior won’t happen again. Let them see that you’re taking the time to truly apologize, and that you’re not just doing it out of obligation.
• Of course, actions speak louder than words. To truly be forgiven, you have to work to not make the same mistake again.

• There’s a real humility in saying, “After you.” Work on seeing that your time isn’t worth more than anyone else’s and letting other people have a chance before you do.
• It goes without saying that cutting a line is the opposite of being humble.

• Don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t know something. In fact, most people love sharing their knowledge with others and will be eager to help you.
• You can even offer a bit of praise when you ask for advice. Just saying something like, “Hey, I know you’re a whiz at math, and I just can’t understand this problem,” will make a person feel great, as long as it doesn’t sound like you’re sucking up.

• Get in the habit of telling other people when they’re doing great at something. This can make both you and the person feel great.
• Of course, make sure the praise is deserved. You don’t want the person to think that you just want something from him.

• Even something simple like, “I love your earrings. They make your eyes stand out,” can really brighten a person’s day, and it takes very little effort.

Living a Life Filled with Humility

• Volunteer for the sake of it, not for the bragging rights. You don’t need to tell your fifty closest friends that you’re volunteering just to show off. Of course, if you’re genuinely proud and want to talk about it, that’s another thing.
• Giving your time to help others can make you realize that you don’t always need to put yourself first. This can make you live a life filled with humility.

• You can admire other people and feel inspired to be better because of them. But if you covet what they have, you are likely to fall into feelings of bitterness that will keep you from enjoying your life.
• Don’t gossip about people or put them down because you’re secretly jealous of them, either. Humble people only say nice things about people behind their backs.

• Don’t get defensive when someone is trying to teach you something. If that person has pure intentions, then you should make an effort to hear him out.
• You don’t want people to feel like you think you have all the answers, or they won’t be eager to share their experiences with you.

• If you’re the only person who is aware of the good you’ve done in the world, there is something especially humbling about the experience.
• You can even write about the experience in a journal if you feel like telling someone.

• People are drawn to appreciative, positive people. If you complain all the time or form relationships based on complaining all the time, then you’ll be less likely to live a humility-filled life.
• Whenever you catch yourself complaining about something, try to counter that comment with two positive comments.

• Your problems won’t seem as severe when you’re standing at the base of a mountain. As corny as it sounds, being around nature will make you see that you’re just a grain of sand on the beach that is the universe, and that you should be thankful for what you have instead of bemoaning what you wish you had.

• You may think that you have a lot to teach children and will feel humbled when you see that they have a lot to teach you, too. Listen to their perspective about the world and see how it can help you become a more humble, grateful person.
• Being around children will help you rejuvenate your sense of wonder. This can help you be more appreciative of the world around you and it will keep you from taking anything for granted.

• Taking just 2-3 classes a week can transform the way you look at the world. If you feel like you just can’t make the time to go to a yoga class, you can practice at home.

Expert Q&A

Reader Videos

• Don't become defensive in the face of constructive criticism. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0

• Humility does not mean allowing others to humiliate you or carrying a burden beyond what you can bear. Thanks Helpful 55 Not Helpful 10
• Remember be sure to say "no" sometimes so you can give time to self. Thanks Helpful 40 Not Helpful 7

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• ↑ https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/modesty-humility/
• ↑ Rebecca Kason, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 12 August 2021.
• ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/humility_will_make_you_greatest_person_ever
• ↑ https://blog.movingworlds.org/volunteering-makes-you-more-innovative-heres-why/
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/enlightened-living/200808/the-mindful-practice-humility
• ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/331654019_At_the_Intersection_of_Yoga_and_Leadership_Humility_as_a_Practice

About This Article

To practice humility, begin by being grateful for the life you have. Don’t take anything for granted, from your health to your dog. Also, accept that you’re not the best at everything. Maybe you need work on being more tidy or patient. By understanding that you’re constantly evolving and improving, you will become more open to other people helping you get even better! However, don’t be falsely modest and diminish your accomplishments when other people praise you. If you spent all weekend on a project for work and your boss says you did a great job on Monday, don’t say, “it was nothing.” Instead, say that you’re glad he liked it and you’re happy to have put a lot of work into it. Also focus on complimenting and giving credit to other people, as well as spending more time listening to other perspectives. Lastly, stop comparing yourself to others, which makes it easy to be bitter or jealous. Being more humble leads to more happiness! For additional advice on how to live a life filled with humility, read on. Did this summary help you? Yes No

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The eight kinds of humility that can help you stay grounded, there are many ways to be humble, according to recent research..

Humility has been lauded as a virtue in most world cultures and wisdom traditions. More recently, scientists have started to study humility, and they’re discovering its many benefits.

“Psychologists have recently linked intellectual humility to a host of benefits: showing more persistence in the face of failure, holding less polarized beliefs and attitudes, and being received as warm and friendly by others,” writes Tyrone Sgambati in Greater Good .

As a psychiatrist, I think humility springs from deep awareness that the world can only come through our own eyes, experiences, and insights. No matter how knowledgeable or skillful I might be, there’s always more to learn. There are always people with different perspectives, life experiences, knowledge, and skills. There are always different people to cherish, be present with, and learn from. Humility helps us cultivate  empathy  and relatedness. Without those, where are we?

We’re also learning that there are many different kinds of humility—and that each one can have limitations. I’m wary of those who counsel deferential or pious humility to contain and admonish those who have strong opinions and perspectives. For example, the stereotype of humble Asians and Asian Americans acts to silence important messages that are quite critical to our time of change and distress. To be bold and not “humble” per se risks being called “arrogant” or “difficult to deal with.”

I think it’s possible to be both brave and humble, but it requires constant internal and interpersonal work, and risks rupturing or distressing relationships. That perspective keeps me grounded even when I express myself and my concerns for marginalized peoples quite strongly. In that way, a sense of responsibility and allyship fuels both bravery and many forms of humility.

Here’s an overview of eight varieties of humility—and of all the ways they can keep us grounded even in the face of injustices.

Cultural humility. We all have biases based on our cultural experiences and identities. Our experiences might give us only partial understandings of people from other cultures, and, all too often, we might carry stereotyped assumptions about other cultures that will inevitably cause harm. We all live in perspective bubbles, though these bubbles are now more porous than ever.

Familial (or intergenerational) humility. It would do the world a lot of good if parents (and older people generally) would be humble in the face of their children’s perspectives in life. They are literally seeing a whole new ballgame. Similarly, older folks have often accumulated wisdom and experience, and younger people could afford to be humble as well when hearing them out. Perhaps everyone in the family, older and younger, could afford to be more humble in the face of uncertainty and the need to negotiate relationships in times of distress.

Intellectual humility (particularly around opinion). A study published in the Journal of Personality Assessment proposed two key dimensions of intellectual humility: self-directed vs. other-directed and internal vs. expressed. These can be mapped out into a two-by-two grid with these four domains:

• Internal and self-directed intellectual humility: requires inquiring within and questioning yourself and your assumptions.
• Internal and other-directed intellectual humility: requires asking yourself whether you can understand and relate to others’ beliefs and perspectives.
• Expressed and self-directed intellectual humility: requires behaving in ways consistent with your internal sense of humility.
• Expressed and other-directed intellectual humility: requires relating to others in good faith. I think cultivating a sense of common humanity, and feeding common humanity with our actions, despite differences of opinion is really important here.

The therapeutic adages “you can be right or related” and “you can be right or happy” are helpful here. Also, we might try to remember the folk Buddhist saying: “The world is divided into those who are right.”

Humility of knowledge. As much as any of us might have known or learned, there’s always more to learn and understand. There are also obviously different perspectives on the same body of knowledge or even the same event. I think it’s important for those in the dominant culture to be humble when trying to relate to those with lived experience and close-to-the-ground knowledge in the areas in question.

Humility of skill. No matter how skillful we might be, it’s good to stay humble in the face of new situations, the potential for errors, and the inevitability of change. Humility can help us stay grounded and  mindful  in the situation for which our skills are required.

Humility of wisdom. I think we’d all like to eventually be respected and appreciated for our wisdom, accomplishments, skill, talent, or knowledge accumulated through life experience and lifelong learning and growth. However, as Socrates said, “the only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” Holding a position of power and privilege predisposes to erosions of empathy, relatedness, and wisdom. Humility, holding true to the bigger picture, and deep relationship to a wide variety of people guard against these erosions and corruptions.

Expanding Awareness of the Science of Intellectual Humility

This article is part of our three-year GGSC project to raise awareness about intellectual humility research and its implications.

Humility of awe. “The fate of this man or that man was less than a drop, although it was a sparkling one, in the great blue motion of the sunlit sea,” writes T. H. White in The Once and Future King . White is capturing how simultaneously important and small we are in the universe, a feeling researcher Dacher Keltner describes in his scientific understanding of awe: “being in the presence of something vast that transcends your understanding of the world.” He goes on to highlight the evolutionary benefits of awe (which is linked to humility): “Awe binds us to social collectives and enables us to act in more collaborative ways that enable strong groups, thus improving our odds for survival.” Awe helps us to see that the whole is truly greater than the sum of all parts. Which brings us to…

Humility in the face of suffering. Suffering is a vast subject. Research has shown that we are often pulled to help others, but we can become overwhelmed and shut down when faced with large-scale suffering and catastrophe. How do we keep an open heart? I believe the answer lies in cultivating presence, humility, and humor in the face of suffering and potential suffering. That kind of humility will help us to go beyond the scope of our current capacity—and keep us honest, open, ready, and alive.

This essay was revised from a blog entry published by Psychology Today on September 8, 2022. Read the original .

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About the Author

Ravi Chandra

Ravi Chandra is a psychiatrist, writer, and compassion educator in San Francisco, and a distinguished fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. Here’s his linktree .

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Humility: What Can It Do for You?

Is humility a sense of weakness that should be avoided, or is there more to it.

Posted April 27, 2020

I made a new friend recently: Dr. Kari Konkola . He has a doctoral degree in history and has spent a long time examining what are called Confessors' Manuals, which are medieval Latin texts by Christian pastors who reflect on their encounters with people who were struggling to become better persons.

As Dr. Konkola related to me, none of these Latin texts have been translated into English even though they are rich in psychological case studies of how people heal from excessive pride or self-admiration, self-doubt, and guilt . A key theme cutting across the manuals is this: As people know they are imperfect, clearly acknowledge this, and practice humility, they become happier. Humility was an important pathway to healing. Yet, as Dr. Konkola further explained to me, modern sensibilities have suppressed the theme of humility, even in houses of worship. The message that we all are imperfect, that we all fall short of our deeper humanity, is virtually absent.

So, I put Dr. Kankola's ideas of the rarity of studies in humility to the test and started to examine social scientific research centered on the moral virtue of humility, and I found that he is correct. For example, Tangney (2002) in examining all of the research on humility to that point in the social sciences, lamented that such research is very rare.

Even when humility was researched, it was taking a backseat in people who were asked to say what positive psychological themes led to their life satisfaction. For example, in a 2004 literature review, John Harvey and Brian Pauwels, discussing others' psychological research of the day, reported this: When it comes to life satisfaction, middle-aged adults endorsed themes of hope and gratitude as contributing to the good life. Humility, generally defined as not thinking more highly of the self than is true, was not connected with feelings of satisfaction in life.

The negative view of humility within philosophy has been with us for centuries, with the writings of the Scottish philosopher David Hume and the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. For example, in the late 1800s, Nietzsche stated that those who try to humble themselves are actually trying to exalt the self. The famous philosophers Albert Camus and John Paul Sartre, in post-World War II France, split over the theme of humility. Whereas Camus embraced moral humility, rejected absolutism and violence, and acknowledged human fallibility, Sartre was not convinced (Dresser, 2017).

So, not only has the prominence of humility as a way of growing in character faded from the Middle Ages, it has become unpopular. Yet, does humility deserve such a lowly status in philosophy, in psychology, and even in some houses of worship?

The point of this essay is to examine whether there is philosophical and psychological evidence to bring humility back to a higher place. Let us start as Socrates used to do when examining a new moral theme by asking: What is it?

Defining Humility: What Is It?

Although Aristotle did not explicitly use the word humility, philosophers following in the Aristotelian tradition have seen humility as a moral virtue between the vices of dogmatism or arrogance on the one hand and timidity or moral weakness on the other (Hazlett, 2012). In other words, humility is a quest for truth about the self and others that avoids extremes.

The 18th century philosopher David Hume, mentioned above, referred to it as a "monkish" attribute of the weak. It seems that Hume and others who see humility as a synonym for the vice of timidity are committing the philosophical error of equating it with one of the extreme vices surrounding its deeper definition when we view this moral virtue from an Aristotelian lens.

For the medieval philosopher, Bernard of Clairvaux, there are two stages of humility: one negative and the other positive. Negative humility starts with the realization that one has fallen, has sinned, and there appears to be no way out through one's own efforts alone. This makes one more open to God's grace.

Positive humility occurs when people transcend their own self-importance and embrace the truth, goodness, and beauty of God. This keeps one humble by embracing the truth that the self is not the center of the universe and yet is loved (Campbell, 2019).

Thomas Aquinas, also a medieval philosopher, agrees. Humility is a high moral virtue because, in one's own imperfections and sins, the person becomes open to the transcendent, to that which is grander and more powerful than the self. In other words, people of humility know they are sinners and at the same time are made in the image and likeness of God. Thus, there is the avoidance of the Aristotelian extremes of both arrogance and or false self-condemnation once the reality of sin in one's life is understood and accepted as real.

Humility within modern philosophy, as pointed out in the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, often takes what is called a strong account of oneself. In other words, with humility, one has a check against seeing oneself as too lowly. Humility also is a corrective for too exalted a view of the self (Bommarito, 2018). As Roberts and Cleveland (2016) instruct, humility is contrasted with the vice of pride or the motivation , as an end in and of itself, to be better than others.

Humility in their view is a kind of legitimate lack of concern for self-importance. This does not mean that one is uninterested, for example, in doing excellent work. Instead, it means that creating excellent work or being good in a relationship is more important than getting an award for the work or high praise for being a good spouse or parent.

Humility is not humiliation or being put down and shamed by others. Humility is not making oneself a moral worm, which would be one of the Aristotelian imbalances. Humility is seeing the truth about oneself so that pride or narcissism does not dominate.

It thus is a view of the self as mortal and therefore imperfect, yet capable of higher moral accomplishment, without putting oneself first or being dominated by pride. It makes a person open to new ideas, to defending who people, in general, are without condemnation of the human condition (or the self) or making people little deities (or the self into such a deity). There is much more to say here because philosophers are beginning to awaken to the importance of this construct as seen in an entire book of 41 chapters to be released soon in July 2020, The Handbook of Philosophy of Humility (Alfano, Lynch, & Tanesisi, 2020), and by a book with 23 chapters dedicated to its exploration in philosophy and the social sciences: the Handbook of Humility (Worthington, Davis, & Hook, 2016).

Can Humility Help You?

Here are some empirical findings from the social sciences for you to consider:

1. Humility may help you have more positive emotions. In a study of 127 undergraduates, the participants statistically reported a statistically significant association between the practice of humility and the feelings of positive emotions (Exline & Geyer, 2011).

2. Humility may help you to forgive yourself when you have broken your own standards. In a study of 194 participants, those who had the stronger humility were more likely to drop excessive defensiveness regarding the objectionable behavior and to forgive the self (Onody, Woodyatt, Wenzel, Cibich, Sheldon, & Cornish, 2020).

3. As you take an honest inventory of your own legitimate shortcomings, this can increase your positive feelings toward others and decrease aggression . These findings, although complex and not always found, is reported in a literature review by Ruberton, Kruse, & Lyubomirsky, 2016).

4. If you see humility in others, this may strengthen your alliance with that person. In a study of the client and counselor relationship, those clients who perceived what is called "cultural humility" in the counselor were able to forge a stronger bond with the mental health professional (Hook, Davis, Owen, Worthington, & Utsey, 2013).

Recommendations If You Want to Try Humility

1. It is important first to have an accurate definition of humility. I recommend the Aristotelian approach by first seeing that the vice of moral weakness or timidity can be mistaken for true humility. Avoid that, as researchers should as well when asking participants to judge the worth of humility in their lives.

2. Do not grow weary when you see a vast array of definitions of humility in the published literature. Most who write on the topic are not philosophers, particularly Aristotelian philosophers. Scrutinize the published definitions for both clarity and error. Do not accept a definition just because it is in print.

3. Try to practice humility as a way of reducing anger before considering forgiveness toward someone who has been deeply unfair to you. As Dr. Konkola hypothesizes, it is difficult to forgive when filled with the vice of pride and deep anger. Humility may be a gateway to accepting forgiving as an option and as a deeper way of forgiving.

4. Try practicing little acts of humility each day. An example would be this: Try not to dominate others even if your role in your job is to have power over others.

The practice of humility, although not a popular moral virtue right now in the West, might be a pathway to overcoming anger and leading a more satisfying life.

Alfano, M., Lynch, M.P., & Tanesini, A. (in press, 2020). Handbook of philosophy of humility . New York: Routledge.

Bommarito, N. (2018). Modesty and humility. Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. https://sjvlaydivision.org/virtue-of-humility/

Campbell, D. (2019). The virtue of humility . St. John Vianney Theological Seminary. https://sjvlaydivision.org/virtue-of-humility/

Dresser, S. (2017). How Camus and Sartre split up over the question of how to be free. Aeon , January 27, https://aeon.co/ideas/how-camus-and-sartre-split-up-over-the-question-o…

Exline, J.J. & Geyer, A.L. (2011). Perceptions of humility: Preliminary studies. Self and Identity. https://doi.org/10.1080/13576500342000077

Harvey, J.H. & Pauwels, B.G. (2004). Modesty, humility, character strength, and positive psychology. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 23 , 620-623.

Hazlett, A. (2012). Higher-order epistemic attitudes and intellectual humility. Episteme, 9 , 205–223.

Hook, J. N., Davis, D. E., Owen, J., Worthington, E. L., Jr., & Utsey, S. O. (2013). Cultural humility: Measuring openness to culturally diverse clients. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 60 (3), 353–366. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032595

Onody, A.P., Woodyatt, L., Wenzel, M., Cibich, M., Sheldon,A., & Cornish, M.A. (2020). Humility and its relationship to self-condemnation, defensiveness and self-forgiveness following interpersonal transgressions. Journal of Psychology and Theology , https://doi.org/10.1177/0091647120911111

Ruberton, P. M., Kruse, E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2016). Boosting state humility via gratitude, self-affirmation, and awe: Theoretical and empirical perspectives. To appear in E. Worthington, D. Davis, & J. Hook (Eds.), Handbook of humility . New York: Routledge.

Tangney, J.P. (2002). Humility. In S.J. Lopez and C.R. Snyder (Eds.), Handbook of positive psychology . Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press (pp.411-419).

Worthington, E., L., Davis, D.E., & Hook, J.N. (2016). Handbook of humility . New York: Routledge.

Robert Enright, Ph.D., is a professor of educational psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and a licensed psychologist who pioneered the social scientific study of forgiveness.

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25 Humility Examples

Humility is a trait where you esteem yourself lower than what you really are—it does not mean the absence of self-esteem , but rather not putting yourself on a pedestal above others. Humility is the absence of arrogance. Humble people do not have an attitude of self-importance.

There are many situations where you can say that one is humble. Today, we will share with you some of the most common behaviors that you can practice and how to show humility.

Humility Examples

• You don’t think you’re better than everyone else.
• You know your own weaknesses.
• You do not boast about your strengths.
• You acknowledge that you can always improve and grow.
• You graciously thank your opponent when you win.
• You admit when you don’t know something.
• You honor your elders, parents and teachers for helping you to succeed.
• You’re grateful to your country for the opportunities and freedoms it gave you.
• You are not a sore loser and congratulate someone for beating you.
• You don’t gloat about your successes.
• You don’t think you’re above other people just because you are more successful than them.
• You always search for people who will challenge you and teach you more.
• You graciously thank people when they help you.
• You generously listen to other people and their opinions.
• You thank people who have helped you or invited you into their home.

Detailed Examples

1. you apologize if you are wrong.

While people say that apology is for the weak, they could not be more wrong. Apologizing is not a sign of weakness; it is the courage to face one’s faults and accept shortcomings.

The issue with this, however, is that not all of us have the same principles of morality. Some people will never apologize—they cannot see what they did wrong. On some occasions, a person who refuses to apologize is also someone who lacks empathy, and this person can be viewed as a danger or threat by the people around him.

Related Article: 10 Ignorance Examples

2. You are not afraid to take risks

A humble person understands that losing is part of life. An arrogant person, on the other hand, always wants to win.

Losing is more common than you think. For every competition, there is only one winner. There is only one champion. So if it is a one-on-one competition, be satisfied that you reached the level where you had the chance to become a champion but failed.

Humble people take risks because they do not have a self-aggrandizing attitude that they must always win. Instead, if they fail, they see that failure as a learning experience.

3. You understand that you cannot control everything

Humble people know that they must give way to some things—that life is a compromise on many occasions. Arrogant people, on the other hand, want power and control.

At work, a humble boss would take on the duties of ailing personnel. A leader who shows humility is not afraid to get his hands dirty. Instead of being above the team, the leader is part of the team . 

4. You can accept criticism

Humble people acknowledge that they are not perfect. Acceptance of constructive criticism means you are open to receiving feedback and criticism.

Today, when we are all exposed online, we cannot help but receive hurtful comments. A humble person should not engage. On the other hand, feedback is a meaningful process where we can improve ourselves.

Humble people take feedback and understand the underlying potential of how they can improve. Arrogant ones justify their behavior and insist on doing what they want. 

5. You know when to ask for help

Humility means knowing when one problem is beyond your capabilities. Humble people are not ashamed to ask for help—they know they are in a bad situation beyond their control.

Arrogant people will not do this. Instead of asking for help, they would maintain their pride . As a result, they end up with bigger problems. You should not be embarrassed to ask for help at work or school, even if people say that you are “stupid” for doing so.

Asking for help is not stupid. Asking for help does not make you weak—it is a sign that you know your limitations.

6. You understand your faults and shortcoming

Arrogant people will never understand how they fall short of expectations. Humble people, on the other hand, see the big picture and try to keep up with the demands of their environment.

For example, we all have a part to play in a relationship. Arrogant people tend to be selfish and do not care about the impact of their actions on their partners. If you mention their shortcomings, they get furious and deny their faults.

Humble people do not deny their mistakes. Instead, they recognize their shortcoming and attempt to become a better person.

7. You respect the views of others

Humble people do not have prejudice. They look at things objectively and try to understand where the other person is coming from. On the other hand, an arrogant person always wants to be correct, believing that his view is the only view.

One good example of this is political affiliations. It is not unusual for a democrat and republican to bicker back and forth. They believe they are fighting for a just cause, but they do not realize that they are damaging their relationships.

We are not saying that you should not make a stand for your political views—you sold. However, it would help if you also acknowledged the other party for making a good argument.

8. You accept defeat and work hard to become better

Humble people accept the fact that they lost and face it with an optimistic attitude. If they lose, they attempt to find out why they lost and work to become better at what they do.

You may not get the promotion you have always wanted and worked hard for in the office. So instead of saying that the promoted guy is the boss’s lackey, why not look at why you did not get the promotion?

It will serve you better to find out what went wrong in your attempt to get a promotion than looking for reasons that justify your incompetence or lack of ability.

9. You do not compare yourself with others

A humble person does not compare himself with others, especially those beneath his status, to make himself feel good or superior.

Instead, humility dictates that you find good qualities of your competition that you do not have, and then you move to achieve or possess those qualities in the future.

Better yet, it would help to compare yourself with people who have far more significant and better achievements than you so you get inspired to make yourself superior in the future.

10. You admit your ignorance about some things

Lastly, a humble person admits ignorance. No one person on this planet knows everything. There are things in life that you are not an expert in—many things—and you must listen to professionals.

People today think they know everything because they have access to Google. You couldn’t be more wrong than this. A humble person will not argue with a professional, but an arrogant individual will.

Humility is one of the most challenging virtues, as it goes against our natural intuition of being superior to others. We seemingly have been programmed to cheer on the winners and put them on a pedestal, which is why we have a default mode where we want to be right all the time. Many people do not know that humility brings inner peace and joy. Humble people often do not carry a grudge and live happier lives than people who consistently think that life is a game about who is better.

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Dr. Chris Drew is the founder of the Helpful Professor. He holds a PhD in education and has published over 20 articles in scholarly journals. He is the former editor of the Journal of Learning Development in Higher Education. [Image Descriptor: Photo of Chris]

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1 thought on “25 Humility Examples”

I am 81 years old. My 12 year old grand daughter wants to be humble because, I told that humility is a simple but difficult path to learning and happiness. I found you, who can provide the wisdom to her. I wish, I could sit and talk to you. I teach humility as a virtue taught by nature. Three basic principles: 1. Self love and responsibility to one’s own life (body, mind, spirit). Most important. 2. No expectations from any one. 3. Accept the world, the flora and fauna and the earth as is. Live peacefully with nature as your soft warm pillow. Leave the planet as you found it. It can take care of itself. It always has.

Thank you for your patience and if you teach me some more, I will bow. Shrinivas

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How To Be Humble (With Examples)

We receive a lot of conflicting messages about humility. We are told that humility is a virtue and warned against becoming too self-absorbed or arrogant. But at the same time, we’re often told about the importance of building confidence . If being humble and confident seems like a contradiction, it might be because humility is a highly misunderstood characteristic.

This article will review the true meaning of humility as well as give tips and examples of ways to show humility without seeming insecure.

What is humility?

How to be humble, examples of being humble, why is being humble important.

Despite the many misconceptions about humility, it is possible to be both humble and confident at the same time. Humility is often confused with having low self-esteem, but this isn’t true. Being humble doesn’t mean having a negative opinion of yourself—it means having an accurate opinion of yourself. [ 1 ][ 2 ] An accurate opinion of yourself is one that includes awareness and acceptance of your strengths , as well as your flaws. [ 1 ]

Humble people tend to have a very good sense of who they are and what they’re good at. They are often confident and self-assured. Their self-esteem isn’t easily threatened by the accomplishments or strengths of other people, so they don’t feel the need to compete, brag, or compare themselves to others. [ 3 ] Instead, they are able to focus more on other people than themselves, which is a key part of most acts of humility. [ 1 ][ 2 ]

Developing humility requires a shift in both your attitude and your actions. Changing your attitude involves adjusting the way you think and feel about others.

Being less judgmental, more open-minded, and more self-aware are all steps in this process. Changing your actions involves things you can do differently to be more humble and modest when interacting with other people. These include listening more, talking less about yourself, and asking for feedback. [ 4 ]

Below are 10 ways to develop a more humble attitude and be more humble and down to earth with others.

1. Recognize your strengths and limitations

Understanding what you’re good at and what you’re not is the first step to developing humility. This always involves an honest and accurate understanding of your strengths and limitations. [ 1 ][ 2 ][ 4 ]

Start this process by conducting an honest assessment of your strengths and limitations. Self-reflection is one way to recognize your strengths and limitations, but it’s also a good idea to get a more objective viewpoint. Consider taking a strengths assessment , reviewing past successes and failures, or considering the input from other people.

2. Listen more than you talk

Humble people know not to make every conversation about themselves, which is why becoming a better listener is an important step to cultivate humility. Showing humility involves listening a lot more than you talk, as well as not always talking about yourself. [ 4 ]

Becoming a better listener takes practice. You can begin by pausing, asking more questions, and showing genuine interest in other people. These strategies help you shift away from a self-focus to an other-focus, which is one of the key characteristics of humility. [ 2 ][ 3 ]

2. Seek and accept both good and bad feedback

Honest feedback from others can help you become more self-aware, and even getting negative feedback provides a chance to practice being humble. Asking for feedback from people you trust to tell you the truth helps to maintain an accurate understanding of what you’re doing well and what you need to improve on. [ 4 ]

When you receive critical or negative feedback, resist the urge to become defensive. For example, don’t argue, give excuses, or attack the other person. Instead, thank them for their honesty and, when necessary, offer a sincere apology. Also, try to use their input to self-reflect on things you can do differently to improve.

3. Keep your mind open to new ideas

An arrogant person believes they’re always right or already know the answer to every question, but someone who’s humble keeps an open mind. To foster humility, be willing to hear out ideas, beliefs, and opinions that differ from your own, and avoid passing judgment on them . [ 3 ] Listen with an open and curious mind. Try to understand what is being said instead of focusing on being right.

When you get new information, use it to revisit your existing beliefs and opinions. Being open-minded and curious is a great way to approach conversations with people who hold different views. It can also help expand your knowledge and strengthen your beliefs by exposing them to new ideas, questions, and views.

4. Own your mistakes and offer sincere apologies

An important part of being humble is being able to admit to yourself and others when you’re wrong or when you’ve made a mistake. Being accountable for your words and actions shows integrity and will earn you the trust and respect of others. Being able to say when you messed up goes a long way towards recovering from a mistake.

Adding a sincere apology is the next key component to being humble. An apology is needed when you’ve made a mistake or one something to offend or hurt someone else. Avoid including excuses, explanations, or an “I’m sorry but…” because your apology may come across as insincere and ineffective.

5. Reveal your faults when appropriate

A humble person doesn’t feel the need to always try to mask or hide their flaws and faults from others. Being humble means being able to let some of your imperfections show and sometimes even openly admitting or talking about them. [ 4 ] No one is good at everything, so revealing your own shortcomings can even lessen the pressure others feel to strive for perfection.

Avoid self-deprecating statements like, “I really suck at …” or “I’m terrible at…” because these can make others feel pressured to praise or console you. Instead, try saying something like, “I really struggle with…” or, “This isn’t my area of expertise.” These are more effective ways to reveal shortcomings that don’t make others feel uncomfortable.

6. Help others shine and celebrate their successes

Humility can involve highlighting and celebrating the talents, strengths, and achievements of other people. People who appear arrogant may be quick to minimize the successes of other people or highlight their own, often because they’re insecure.

Humble and confident people don’t have these same insecurities, which allows them to be truly happy for others when they succeed, instead of feeling threatened by them. Helping others shine by giving shoutouts to people at work, commenting on their strengths, or organizing a celebration for someone are all great ways to foster relationships and humility at the same time.

7. Let your talents speak for themselves

Humble people don’t feel the need to brag about the things they’re good at or what they’ve been able to achieve. In fact, they may rarely mention themselves or their achievements in conversation because they know their hard work will speak for itself.

Break the bad habit of bragging by not talking about yourself or what you’ve accomplished as much. You can still feel proud of your accomplishments, but broadcasting your pride can be a major turn-off, leaving a bad impression on others.

8. Show appreciation for others

Showing appreciation and giving thanks to others is one of the best ways to show humility because it puts a positive focus on others. Humble people tend to be better at showing appreciation for others, which may explain why they tend to have closer, stronger relationships with others. [ 2 ]

Showing appreciation for people can be as simple as saying “Thank you” or “I really appreciated that you…” to a person who has helped you out or worked hard. If you’re a leader at work, giving shoutouts or bonuses to employees who have gone above and beyond are great ways to show appreciation.

9. Admit what you don’t know

Humble people are able to admit the things they don’t know instead of pretending to be the expert on everything. Admitting the limits of your knowledge and expertise is an important way to stay humble at work and also ensures you’re assigned projects that are a good match for your skills.

Admitting what you don’t know can also help you in relationships with friends, family, and significant others as well. For example, saying that you have “no idea how that must have felt” or “can’t imagine what that was like” to a loved one is a great way to support someone who opens up to you. For them, this response feels much more supportive than assuming you know how they feel.

Having examples of being humble can make it easier for people to know ways to show humility. It’s important for people to understand that you can still be confident and assertive while also being humble. In fact, the right displays of humility can help you demonstrate confidence without being rude , cocky, or arrogant.

Here are some examples of showing humility:

Example 1: Humble ways to respond to criticism

Getting negative feedback can be difficult and uncomfortable, and it’s hard for people not to get defensive. This is especially true if you’re a person who takes a lot of pride in your work and tries really hard to do things well. Still, being humble is the best way to respond to negative or critical feedback. Here are some examples of humble ways to respond to negative feedback at a job:

• Validate their concerns: One way to humbly accept criticism is to say something like, “I completely understand your concerns” or, “I totally get how it could have come across that way” to prove you hear and understand their concerns.
• Offer a sincere apology: It’s sometimes necessary to offer an apology, especially if you made a mistake, offended someone, or overlooked something important. When this has happened, try saying something like, “I’m so sorry that I didn’t consider that,” “I feel terribly about how this affected you,” or just, “I messed up, and I’m really sorry,”
• Commit to improvement : Another way to accept critical feedback humbly is to say something like, “I appreciate this feedback and will use it to do better” or “I really want to make things right and would appreciate any advice you have on how to start.” These are ways to show that you not only accept their feedback but will also use it to make changes and improvements.

Example 2: Humble ways to respond to praise

One of the hardest times to be humble is when you’re getting praised or recognized for your achievements or hard work. While it’s important to acknowledge your achievements and appreciate the recognition you receive for them, it’s also important to be humble in these moments. Here are some examples of ways to be humble when getting praised or recognized:

• Share the spotlight: Share some of the credit and praise with others by saying something like, “This would not have been possible without your help” or, “You’ve been a huge support to me and are a big part of the reason I was able to pull this off.”
• Express genuine Gratitude : Gratitude is a great way to show humility. Consider saying something like: “Thank you all so much for this,” or “It means so much that you have all come today to celebrate with me.”
• Downplay excessive praise : When you’re getting high praises, one way to be humble is to downplay the praise by saying something like, “You’re too kind” or, “My contribution to this was minimal compared to others’, but thank you.”

Example 3: Humble ways to talk about your strengths

There are definitely times when it is appropriate and even expected to talk about yourself and highlight your strengths. For example, interviewing for a job or promotion will require some self-promotion on your part. In these situations, there are ways to talk about your strengths without coming off as arrogant. Here are ways to humbly highlight your strengths:

• Reference real-life feedback from others: “I’ve received a lot of feedback from my colleagues that I am a good leader, and people often seek me out for support and advice.”
• Tell the backstory of the strength: “I’ve invested a lot of my personal time and energy into expanding my knowledge of this topic, and because of this, I feel really confident that I could bring a lot to the table.”
• Tie your strengths to your core values: “I’m always striving to learn and improve as a boss and leader, and one of the areas I’ve focused the most on is on cultivating the talents and skills of those on my team. I think I’ve gotten really good at recognizing people’s talents and helping them further develop them.”

Example 4: Humble ways to interact online

It can be hard to talk to people online , especially when you’re using apps or social media to make an impression, find friends or connect with people. Too often, people feel pressured to create an online version of themselves that’s perfectly crafted, sometimes even becoming unrecognizable to their real-life self. Humility is the key to avoiding these perfection traps and presenting an accurate, relatable, and humble version of yourself online.

Here are some keys on how to be humble online and on social media and dating or friend apps:

• Use pictures that look like you: Avoid the annoying habit of constantly posting selfies or of using filters that always make you look “picture perfect.” Settle on a profile pic that actually looks like you.
• Don’t use social media to prove you’re a good person: Don’t overuse “virtue signals” online to make others think you’re a good person (e.g., broadcasting your good deeds to your followers) and avoid comparing or competing with others online.
• Present a realistic version of yourself online: Provide an honest and balanced view of yourself and the parts of your life you choose to share on apps and social media sites (e.g., don’t just list your amazing qualities or exaggerate to look good, and do include some of your shortcomings or struggles).
• Don’t use it for the likes and follows: Use social media and dating and friend apps for their intended purpose. Use them to relate and connect with others, instead of relying on them to feel good about yourself, get attention, or boost your mood.

Example 5: Humble ways to make a good first impression

When you’re on a first date, a job interview, or hanging out for the first time with someone, it’s normal to want to make a good impression. This may cause you to boast, brag, or try too hard to form a good impression or get someone to like you. The problem is that these approaches normally backfire. Being more humble is actually the secret to attracting friends and being more likable. [ 1 ][ 2 ][ 3 ]

Here are some ways to use humility to make a good first impression:

• Focus more on being kind than being cool : Being observant and considerate of others is more likely to leave a good impression than focusing on seeming cool. For example, if you’re on a first date and someone looks cold, offer them your jacket or ask if they want to move indoors.
• Get them talking more about themselves: Showing interest in others is the key to making a good impression without making the conversation about yourself. Ask questions, show interest, and figure out what topics they enjoy discussing. Wait to talk about yourself until they ask you questions or invite you to share something about yourself.
• Talk more about who you are and less about what you have or do : One common mistake that people make when they’re trying to make a good impression is to talk too much about what they do or have. For example, talking all about your job, your five cars, or your many degrees can come off as bragging. Also, it doesn’t tell the person much about who you are . To avoid this, focus conversations more on the things you’re interested in or care about and less on things you do or have.

Humility matters because it is a positive characteristic that people seek out in leaders, friends, and significant others. [ 5 ] A humble attitude can help you get ahead in all areas of life. It also makes it easier to build close relationships with people. Some of the proven benefits of being more humble include: [ 2 ][ 3 ]

• Ups your appeal and helps you attract friends and romantic partners
• Can help you become more approachable and less intimidating to others
• Helps you stand out as a capable leader at work or in your career
• Can motivate you to work towards personal growth and self-improvement
• It can make people less defensive and more likely to open up
• Can make it easier to forgive other people after conflicts or disagreements
• Promotes better physical and emotional wellbeing and health
• Protects relationships and helps to maintain a strong support network

Final thoughts

• Tangney, J. P. (2000). Humility: Theoretical perspectives, empirical findings and directions for future research. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology , 19 (1), 70-82.
• Van Tongeren, D. R., Davis, D. E., Hook, J. N., & Witvliet, C. vanOyen. (2019). Humility . Current Directions in Psychological Science, 28 (5), 463–468.
• Chancellor, J., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2013). Humble beginnings: Current trends, state perspectives, and hallmarks of humility. Social and Personality Psychology Compass , 7 (11), 819-833.
• Your Route To The Top: How To Be Humble. Management Today [serial online]. 2008:15.
• Exline, J. J., & Geyer, A. L. (2004). Perceptions of humility: A preliminary study. Self and Identity , 3 (2), 95-114.

Hailey Shafir is a licensed mental health counselor, licensed addiction specialist, and clinical supervisor working out of Raleigh, NC. She has a Masters in Counseling from NC State University, and has extensive professional experience in counseling, program development, and clinical supervision. Read more .

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Take-Home Skill: Humility Reflection for Teens

Parents and caregivers reflect with their teen about a time when they either demonstrated humility or experienced it from another person. They then discuss opportunities for practicing more humility towards others.

Planning For It

When you might use this practice.

• To help your child cultivate strong relationships with others
• When your child seems a bit too self-preoccupied

Time Required

• 15-45 minutes
• Journal or paper (optional)
• Pencil/Pen (optional)

Learning Objectives

Students will:

• Understand the value of humility
• Recognize when they have been gifted the gift of humility
• Create a plan for practicing humility

Additional Supports

• Making Practices Culturally Responsive

• Adapting Practices for Students with Special Needs

• Making Classrooms and Schools Trauma-Informed and Healing-Centered


SEL Competencies

• Social Awareness
• Relationship Skills
• Responsible Decision-Making

How To Do It

Reflection before the practice.

For parents/caregivers: Take a moment to think about a time when you kept an open mind towards another person’s perspective, or when you put aside your needs to help someone who was suffering. Next, think of an experience when someone did one of these things for you. How did both of these moments feel? How might you practice more humility in the next few days?

Instructions

Humility is about being able to see and accept your strengths and limitations without defensiveness or judgment, as well as being open-minded to others’ perspectives and to new information. This practice can help teens bolster their humility in that second sense—by orienting them toward others and helping them become more flexible and adaptable.

• Ask your teen to consider a time when they acted humbly toward someone by doing something that put that person’s interests first and their own second, such as inviting a lonely new student to be their science lab partner rather than pairing up with their usual classmate. Inquire what they did and how they felt during and after.
• Encourage your teen to reflect on a time when someone humbled themselves to them so that your teen could decide on the agenda for a shared experience, such as when their older sibling scrapped her weekend plans in order to hang out with them, because they were sad that their best friend moved away. Ask them: How did it feel when someone put aside their opinion or agenda and followed you so that you could take the lead? What were your feelings when you recognized that someone humbled themselves before you? Why do you think this person gave you this gift of humility?
• Help your teen consider an upcoming occasion when they can be the gift-giver of humility to someone. Ask them how they plan to be open and adaptable to another person’s opinions, needs, or wishes in a helpful way. Encourage them to think back to a time they fell short of being humble and consider what they could do differently to show humility.

Special Adaptations:

• Age: In one study, this exercise helped college students as young as 17 years old cultivate humility when they did it on their own as part of a workbook. For younger teens, parents can help by providing both examples and encouragement. You can model how to do the exercise in front of your teen—reflecting on your own life—and encourage your teen to try it with you.
• Reflection Method: You can have this conversation with your teen during dinner, your commute, or a nature hike. You might write your reflections as letters or emails to each other, or your teen can do it privately in their journal.

Everett L. Worthington, Jr. , Ph.D., Virginia Commonwealth University

Reflection After the Practice

Have you noticed your child practicing a bit more humility? Do they take others’ perspectives when they express different desires?

The Research Behind It

Evidence that it works.

Researchers randomly assigned a diverse group of college undergraduates to either a workbook with humility exercises, including the reflections in this practice, or alternative workbooks about forgiveness, patience, or self-control. The study found that participants in the humility group were more humble and had fewer negative emotions after the humility exercises compared to the other groups.

Why Does It Matter?

As children grow, they become better able to notice and appreciate humility, making them gravitate toward others who are humble. But in the age of social media, older children and teens can be bombarded by social pressure to self-promote and be self-absorbed. Humility offers a buffer against this.

Humility is also a common trait in purposeful young people, suggesting that it might support children in achieving their long-term life goals. Over time, children who grow into humble adults will tend to have stronger relationships and better health .

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Do you want to dive deeper into the science behind our GGIE practices? Enroll in one of our online courses for educators!

Practicing Humility at Home

“Mom’s the worst sinner in the family,” my 4-year-old repeated to house guests after our previous gospel conversations about repenting of sin.

Apparently. And you know what? There was a time in my life that would have been mortifying . Now, I hear it and think, Yup. Sounds about right.

Marriage and parenting have been one long journey (that’s not nearly over) of making peace with my true sinfulness and weakness. In other words, my family is teaching me humility. It’s been incredibly arduous, at times excruciatingly painful, and positively glorious.

Like any long journey, as much as you’d like to arrive at the destination (ASAP, please!), it takes time, discipline, and practice. Thankfully? Marriage and parenting are 24/7. So we have lots of opportunities for practicing humility at home.

Practicing humility = seeing yourself clearly

Practicing humility takes a healthy view of self. Often, too much arrogant pride ( At least I’m doing it better than her… ) or too much self-contempt ( My kids would be better off with another, better mom… ) make me fall off the tracks of thinking of myself in a healthy way. But marriage and parenting are teaching this recovering perfectionist to accept that I’m imperfect. I can’t expect or even hope for perfection this side of Heaven.

I recently read an analogy that helped me. In his fabulous little book, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness , Timothy Keller says most of us live our lives inside a courtroom. Looking for the “ultimate verdict” about our truest identity in our accomplishments or the way others perceive us.

But if I spend my mental and emotional time wishing I cooked as often or kept as tidy a house as other wives (or tracking the #parentfails versus #parentwins), I have very little energy left to just be a mom and just be a wif e. If I feel like the fails outweigh the wins, I wind up holed up in bed, wallowing in shame. If I’m feeling pretty good about myself, I run myself into the ground trying to gain more imaginary brownie points until I break and wind up back in bed.

Keller says to leave the courtroom . For those of us in Christ, friend, Jesus has already pled the case, taken the punishment for our guilty verdict, and declared us right with God . That is our identity. Our accomplishments, or lack thereof, are not who we are.

We are free and empowered to do what we are called to do (even if we are the worst sinner in the family).

How do we even go about practicing humility?

I think of pride as a never-ending escalator. To practice humility, we constantly, consciously choose to get off the escalator because, in terms of our identity, through Jesus we have already arrived.

Occasionally, I’ll have a powerful “come to Jesus” season. My pride looks as insidious as it is, and I am happy to need Him for every interaction with family. But that isn’t my natural inclination.

I’m imperfect. I will daily—sometimes hourly—sin against or fail my family in some way. BUT I can repent daily—sometimes hourly—to Jesus and my family, then receive the grace He secured for me.

It helps to know how pride plays out (so we can catch it and repent). When our feelings are too easily hurt by our spouse. When we feel defensive about something we said or did. When we resist giving real apologies (“I’m sorry you felt that way” or “I’m sorry I yelled, BUT YOU ____ ”). When we compare to another parent, either positively or negatively. That’s pride, but because of Jesus’ death, we don’t need to be consumed by it.

Laying down pride could be as quick as a breath prayer, “(inhale) It is for freedom, (exhale) Christ has set me free” ( see Galatians 5:1 ). Or our souls could perhaps use an extended time of reflecting on the gospel and the identity Jesus laid down His life to give us: beloved child of God.

Then, free people, we do what God has called us to do! Love family with the same generosity J esus loves us. Repent and ask for forgiveness often. Remember the   best way to teach our kids the gospel is to show them what walking with Jesus looks like. It’s NOT perfection, it’s constant repentance and extending the freedom Jesus provides.

Joy in humility

The icing on the cake of gospel-humility is when we aren’t constantly doing things for our ego’s resume, we are free to do things out of joy. We are free to serve our families and others truly for their good (not to make ourselves look or feel good). The waters of our love and service are no longer muddied with self-promotion or vain conceit. We won’t be as easily sucked into divisive “jealousy and strife” ( 1 Corinthians 3:3 ). Or sucked into the shame vortex of the bed … in the middle of the day.

In this home, I am “the worst sinner in the family.” And I can (continually) “lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely” (aka, that never-ending escalator!) and run with joy the race set before me ( see Hebrews 12:1-2 ). Let’s live like free, humble people in our homes together, shall we?

Copyright © 2021 by FamilyLife. All rights reserved.

Laura Way serves with FamilyLife as a writer and lives in Orlando, Florida with her high-school-teaching husband, Aubrey, and their two vibrant young daughters. She and Aubrey lived in East Asia for seven years until relocating unexpectedly a couple years ago. She enjoys writing about becoming more fully human while sojourning through different places, seasons of life, and terrains of mental and spiritual health at hopeforthesojourn.com .

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Home / Essay Samples / Life / Humility / What Humility Means To Me

What Humility Means To Me

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• Topic: Humility , Personal Experience

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